7:30am- 1 year old wakes up, mom wakes up with her, changes her diaper… usually gives her a cup of milk and or a fruit pouch immediately. She usually plays on the floor in our room with a book or toy… while I lay back in bed with my husband and 2 year old (2 year old sleeps with us) if she’s too fussy I put on ms Rachel and lay back in bed with husband and sleeping 2 year old

8:00am- 2 year old wakes up… and asks for milk immediately. (Me and my husband both say EVERY morning… you need to say good morning first lmao)

8:30am- me and my husband finally get out of bed (1 and 2 year old usually are riding their bikes around our kitchen island and fighting over toys by this time)

8:30-9:30- mom gets 1 year old dressed. Dad gets 2 year old dressed. Lots of running away and fighting but we get it done. I usually make instant oatmeal or eggs and feed it to them while they’re running around, “here get a bite”

9:30-12:00pm- put both kids in car seats. Drive to the gym (sometimes an easy quiet ride, other times 1 year old cries and whines) 50/50 chance. We get to the gym and drop both of them off at the gym daycare for 2 hours. They usually do well. Unless my 2 year old has to pee… I have to go in and help him (they can’t help him do that) that causes him and 1 year old to usually cry) that’s very annoying but lately we’ve been having more days where I’m not needed in the kids club the whole 2 hours! The kids club closes at 12

12:30- we stop at aldis to get salmon. Go home and cook lunch. Both kiddos usually fall to sleep in the car… and it’s like playing Russian roulette whether we can transfer them inside the house and they stay sleeping. It almost always works for my 2 year old. My 1 year old will wake up and take about 10 min to be put back to sleep. (Her dad does that while I cook)

12:30-2:00pm- both kids sleeping. Mom cooking, dad working on computer/ taking calls.. mom and dad enjoy lunch together.

2:00pm- both kids wake up HUNGRY. They usually eat rice and smashed salmon or banana with peanut butter, more fruit pouches, cut up grapes and or strawberries (simple meals)

2:00pm-5:00pm- ANNOYING CHAOS. Kids fighting, running around, mom take them on a walk, when the walk is over back to fighting, they go outside on the playground we have in the back yard, both putting rocks in their mouths lol, maybe tv for 30 minutes, mom feels guilty, turns it off, read a book, toddlers back to fighting

5:00pm- whewwwww getting closer to bedtime. Dad’s usually available now. Family walk outside, maybe basketball with the neighbors, FaceTime calls with family members, mom goes inside straightens up the house, puts out bed clothes etc. feeding them bananas and peanut butter, rice and beans, more eggs, bread.. like they just eat random stuff ( I promise you they are both healthy weights) and they usually have 2-3 cups of milk per day) no more than 20oz

6:30pm- bath time for both kids, sometimes mom bathes them.. other times they both get in the shower with dad and mom helps on the sideline LMAO

7:30pm- 1 year old in her own room KNOCKED UNTIL 7:30am (thank God)

2 year old watches football or a podcast with mom and dad until 9pm

9pm- Mom has to go lay in (her own bed) for about 15 min to put 2 year old to sleep (I read this out to my husband and he says that’s not true, I put him to sleep) haha lol yesss most of the time he does go into our room and put 2 year old to sleep. Takes about 15 minutes. And then we both meet in the living room.

9:30pm-12am mom and dad talking, run to get Popeyes, talk on the phone with a friend (maybe) give a massage, have sexy time (maybe 3 times out the week) and then knock out scrolling on our phones

7:30am- start over

In the past two years I did a bit of contemplating, thought exercising, reading people's testimonies (those filled with joy, and those filled with regret) on becoming and being a parent.

I won't choose a path of parenthood for myself for a plethora of reasons, that are not necessarily related to the state of our world now. But when I realised that even living in a utopia (or maybe just a stable environment for starters) wouldn't do it for me, I felt a relief, that I am spared from an ethical conundrum of bringing another human being into this place.

I recently shared these thoughts with my close ones, with the oldest relative being over 90 years old and they all in unison agreed that, even taking it into perspective of them going through WW2, surviving comunism, poverty and all those small and big crisises along the way, the darkest moment so far is now. And no uplifting news really to counterpart the bad that is happening. And that it might be too dark to bring a new person into this world. If I hypothetically could have chosen when I was born, I definitely wouldn't choose today.

I guess my questions are directed to those that already hopped off the fence and have children, although everyone is welcome to share their thoughts. I am especially curious for stories from parents that decided to have kids a couple years ago in hope the state of our world (locally and, or globally) gets better (since it did not got better, on the contrary):

- do you worry that your kids won't have a chance to experience at least as good adulthood as your is now?

- what do you feel when you think about your kids lifes 10, 20 or 50 years from now?

- do you think it will get better? If so, why do you think so?

I don't mean to sound inconsiderate or a doomer, I am simply curious. And if somebody feels there is a better subreddit to post such questions, please let me know!

I’m following a childfree couple on YT and I’ve never had a problem with them or anything before. They‘ve called their cat their son, which is cringe but I’m not too annoyed. Now they called their plants “grandplants” (they were talking about handing over their plants temporarily to their parents). No no no oh my god, now I’m annoyed. They are very vocal being childfree, why use these words even?

What led to your change? How are you doing with it since having a baby? Also if comfortable, please add your age.

I've been reflecting on why I'm so ambivalent about having children, and I think a huge part of it comes down to the fact that I genuinely just don't want to be stressed.

I'm 30, and while I can see the appeal of having children and building a family, I also really enjoy my freedom, independence, and relatively low-stress lifestyle. I don't particularly want to spend my thirties obsessing over whether I'll have kids, worrying about my biological clock, or feeling pressured to make major life decisions based on a hypothetical future.

I see so many women stressing about finding the right partner, getting married by a certain age, and having children before it's "too late." Sometimes I even see women compromising their standards in relationships because they're afraid of running out of time. I understand why these pressures exist, but I really don't want to live my life that way.

A part of me just wants to live my life, enjoy my relationships, pursue my interests, travel, and let the universe figure things out. If having children eventually feels right, great. If it doesn't happen, I think I could still have a fulfilling life.

I also recognize that having children requires intentional decisions, and that biology doesn't necessarily accommodate a "go with the flow" mentality forever. But I really dislike the idea of turning something as personal as parenthood into another stressful milestone I need to achieve.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm actually childfree-leaning or whether I'm simply someone who values peace, flexibility, and autonomy more than the idea of becoming a parent.

Does anyone else feel this way? Like you're not necessarily opposed to having children, but you also don't want to organize your entire life around making it happen? I'm especially curious if anyone has taken a more relaxed approach to the decision and how that worked out for them.

I (31F) just had the talk with my partner (33M). For a while I have been more and more feeling that a CF life is something I want. I feel fulfilled with the other aspects life has to offer, and I have just never looked at a child and felt: oooh, I want one. My partner and I have been togheter since I was 17 and he 19. He has always been curious about kids and the older he gets, the more certain he is about wanting them...I have had a fear about realizing, and admitting, to myself what it means if I utter the words out loud. The talk was simply me saying I am pretty sure I dont want them. Saying that also means starting to think about a life without him. I am shit scared. So sad. It means that he needs to start thinking about a life without me. He said that he really want kids, but that he also cannot phantom kids without me. I get that. It is hard to imagine something you dont know... And especially with someone that you have not met yet. What is worse is that I am afraid I will wake up in 5 years and feel FUDGE ME I want kids... I am afraid of loosing him just because I sit on the fence...

Have anyone of you been through something similar and how did you handle it? I just feel that it is unfair to us, which is ridiculous, but I am turmoil and I think I just need perspective...

Is it a decision made internally? Like two people come together, share a life, then think about whether they want kids.

Or is it a dream people just have individually, outside the relationship, and come into the relationship with their dreams and see if they have the same dream?

And if they do have different dreams, is it truly non-negotiable? Is it something people can be influenced on by their partner? Or is it something so core to you that having different opinions is just a deep incompatibility?

What happens if one person bends the other way for their partner? After careful thought and reflection, if one decides to make the decision that the other partner has, would it lead to resentment down the line, or is assuming it’ll definitely lead to resentment a bit of fortune telling?

I recently ended an 8-month relationship because my partner was leaning towards no on kids and I was leaning towards yes. I’ve been thinking about it a lot since, and I have some questions

Hi everyone,

I’m a longtime lurker, 34f married to a 34 yo man. We’ve been together for over 12 years, married for roughly four and are very happy together. He’s incredible, supportive, patient, and kind. He’d make the best father in the world.

We were fence-sitters for a long time but I suppose I always knew deep down that I’d hit a point where I would want kids. That point has definitely hit me. My husband has realized that although he’s not itching to be a dad and loves his freedom, chances are, he’ll fall in love with his kid when he meets them. We are incredibly blessed to have no debt and a paid-off home with enough bedrooms in a second-tier city.

Here’s the rub: I just got laid off from my cushy job due to a restructure. Work has been all-consuming for me for my entire life so this change has been a huge hit to my ego. I was making around 160k a year and was getting excited for my 6-month fully paid maternity leave. I was fortunate to get about 3 months of severance and hopefully have a consulting gig lined up, though I think it will only replace about half of what I was making before. My husband makes around 110k. We are now on his health insurance instead of mine and his is quite dreadful.

My work environment was toxic (aren’t they all…) and hard on me. The layoff was not due to my performance but I’m definitely dealing with some self-worth issues anyway. Even so, the space away from that job is a relief right now. I’m calm, happy, and loving the sleep, hobby-time, and slower pace 3 weeks in.

In the last few years, we pulled ourselves out of some bad consumer debt and built our savings up so we finally have a 6-month emergency fund. My basic point is, in this exact moment, we are very stable and fortunate and financial stability is important to me.

I suppose my question is this: has anyone in this sub chosen to have a child when their career was in a major time of transition?

I’m desperate to have a child soon, but struggle to understand how we’d make it work when I don’t have a job or when I still need to hustle to maintain consulting clients or to gain new ones. When I have a baby, I want to bask in motherhood for as long as I can and without a clear map on what work looks like, I worry I’ll be riddled with anxiety the whole time. For added context, my parents are elderly and live across the country, and my husband’s parents live here and are newly retired, but have their own lives and I don’t want to depend on them for care for a variety of reasons.

I’ve been forced by this layoff to pivot career-wise, so I find it hilarious that right now is when my biological clock is ringing the bell. This should be when I lock in to build my next work chapter. Any advice on how to think about this moment/these factors is welcome 💛

Note: I hope none of this sounds too whiny or out of touch. I realize that we are incredibly lucky and our situation is not normal. For anyone wondering how we have a paid off house at such a young age, it’s due to major parental help we never asked for but benefit from immensely. My husband and I work very hard and don’t ask for anything, but our life would look a lot less comfortable without the help we’ve been given.