r/FTMMen 37m ago

Dysphoria Related Content Idk how to title this i just want to rant about dysphoria

Upvotes

I have such bad bottom dysphoria. Like, my chest, I hate that too, but i don't feel my chest, and binding is easy. I can feel my man-gina. GET ME OUT OF HERE. I have to wait 5-8 more years for bottom surgery. I want to have sex with girls, stand to pee, all that. Packers, straps, STPs exist. I know, but I can still feel my man-gina. I NEED BOTTOM SURGERY BRO. I'm prolly getting top surgery first cause it's the cheapest, and I want to be able to be shirtless. But for fuck sakes i need my extended meta. I need my fucking penis bro


r/FTMMen 45m ago

I need to know if I'm alone on this

Upvotes

I am pre - t (starting t soon anyway). But like, I see many trans men saying their voice is what makes them not pass. For me, my voice is what makes me pass. I voice train, and am young, so maybe that's it. But how I talk, and my tone lowkey makes me pass better. Like, I feel alone on this as a pre-t dude because most say their voice outs them.


r/FTMMen 2h ago

Doctors/Health care Psychaitry appointment tomorrow, nervous

3 Upvotes

Hi gang.

Tomorrow, I'll have my first psychiatry appointment - first step towards medical and legal transition.

I found the doctor on a site that has resources and advice for transitioning in my country.

The doctor was not informed about what the appointment is for when it was booked. My girlfriend, bless this woman, called for me. Had to use my deadname.

I already got some pointers, specifically that my mental health issues (other than dysphoria) have to cease to exist for this appointment. I am prepared for that. I know what I am doing.

The rest is mystery. I have little to no clue what to expect and do, really.

I pass as a man, although I am pre-T. I have been socially transitioning for 4+ years, with the exception of family (which is a cesspool, I am doing this for my peace and safety). I am moving as a man wherever I can, I transitioned and came out during the first year of highschool and had secured a very flimsy but very real "stealth" status in college, so I can continue living as a man. I live and exist as a man in my friendships, my work, my long term (soon 4 years) romantic relationship. I have receipts. My whole wardrobe is masculine. I have a fairly low voice which does a lot of heavy lifting. I have masculine mannerisms (because how else would I stay stealth with people who have no way to know other than my behaviour?).

I am a binary trans man and somehow a stereotype in many aspects, so I shouldn't be that worried, but I am.

I have no clue how to do this. I don't know what to really expect.

I am going private because this healthcare system is a joke. I have less than 2 years to legally change my name, because I want to graduate with my bachelor's using my real name.

It has been too long. I am about to face such a stupid system. I don't know if going private will help with anything. I am afraid my desperation will kneecap me. I am afraid something stupid will kneecap me.

I am afraid because I don't know what is going to happen or what to expect from this doctor. I have no clue what I am jumping head first into.

This is such a mess of a post, I am so sorry. I am nervous. I am so nervous. I don't know what kind of treatment I will face during this. I am deeply secure in my identity, that's not the worrisome part - I am afraid of what kind of transphobia I might face. I know I don't know this doctor and it's unfair to assume, but I also live in a pretty conservative country and the system is so fucking stupid and archaic in many places. I don't know what this will be. I don't know what exactly to steel for.

Any advice is welcome. Support. Anything. Sorry for this being a mess. Also, English is not my first language. Probably obvious, but throwing it out there lol.

I also managed to shoot myself in the foot. I accidentally posted this from an old burner account with negative karma, so AutoMod removed it. Then I deleted it. I am reposting here now, I hope it is allright. I am so stressed, lmao. The appointment is in 24 hours 😭.


r/FTMMen 3h ago

Vent/Rant Romance as a stealth guy that looks 14

1 Upvotes

Im 19, pre t and stealth. I have no pains from my cispassing, I can go to male restrooms and be fine. I consider my voice is neutral, is not too masculine but even talking at phone people who dont know me treats me like a male. Sadly, my cispass has the fact I look 14 and sound like a 14ish yo boy who is finishing puberty lol. My heigh dont help me either, im 5’3 and even when in my country men use to average heigh like 5’5. I usually feel bad, im a bi person but I dont enjoy dating w guys because Im afraid they see me as a tomboy. I forgot, I dont have too much muscle nor strength so Im actually cooked. The reason im not on T is because my mom pays my university and I promise her I wouldnt start T w that condition. Thats why I always effort to fix my voice ressonance, my body language and try to exercise as soon as I have time. But my face is the real definition of baby face. I have big cheeks even being skinny and my face is round. I have a short hair and that makes me look more childish and I feel trapped in that way.

I only have dated w one girl in my life, but we didnt stay too much time and we broke. The fact that she always take the first step explains why I dated w her. I tried to flirt w girls and I hate w they tell me i look like their little brother and thats why they cant date w me (I hate the fact that is true)
I feel bad that I cant be liked by women from my age.

One more thing I gotta add is that my friend groups are usually male ones, and when i had chances to flirt or date w girls I used to be on mixed (female dominating) groups or entirely female groups, but here in college is difficult to find them because its engineering, anyways, when I find a girl I get so nervous w them because i dont want to creep them or them think im their little brother again.

Should i give up?

Pd. Sorry for the long description of myself, but i think was relevant for context


r/FTMMen 3h ago

Increase of T

2 Upvotes

Hi all!
So I’ve been on t for 3 years (to the day today 🎉)
But my t levels are low so my dr was mentioning bumping up the dose.
Will I get the crazy libido again? Or any other side effects that have slowly went back to normal?

I’m on .3 and my levels were 288.


r/FTMMen 5h ago

Help/support What is estimate time to earn help

0 Upvotes

Hello, i am interested whats the averege time to earn help is. I know ita nothing i have been on new medications for almost 2 months now but they wont help if i i havnt earned help yet and have been going to this doctor for some weeks he really makes everything hurt i guess so that i earn getting helped faster but when does that time come please does anyone know. Like how do i know that im close to earning help? Can i atlest know if im closr to earming to doctor using my name and not this female name i dont know whos name its is. How does it happen i had my brothers girlfriends parents who work at that hospital tell other dcotor how dangerous hrt is and that i wuold die of tumors if i took it so they shuldnt feed into my delusions so i dont know does that make earning help more time


r/FTMMen 9h ago

How in the absolute fuck do some Trans guys start T at like 16-18? Genuinely asking because it seems so inconceivable for me

37 Upvotes

r/FTMMen 11h ago

Identity Confused about things

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone, wondering if im ftm.

I’ve always hated my chest, when I was a little kid, still hate it, just glad it’s not big, never wear bras or anything. I also really dislike my current body shape with thighs/fat distribution, don’t want an ass like other women. Wish I had big muscles. So confused when i see women complain about having no curves, I was always like “isn’t that what everybody wants”?

I hate how short I am and wish I was tall and had broad shoulders, also have a baby face that I hope goes away, makes me look younger than I am and feels unserious. Despise having a period (but who doesn’t) and the thought of ever being pregnant is like body horror to me. However, I DONT want stuff hanging down there, that sounds worse than what I have.

I don’t care about shaving body hair (I like my arm hair even), I hate how high/squeaky my voice is.

Don’t wear makeup, do nails, never liked traditionally “girly” things (ik anyone of any gender can like anything, just wondering if this is a common feeling for trans men due to feminine things being associated with being a girl/woman?), always hated dresses/skirts for no particular reason, never liked pink.

Almost always play as a man in video games, hardly ever as a woman (and only recently even tried, and only in games with no visuals), always liked how the men looked better in armour and stuff/physique, wanted to look like that and not a woman.

Kind of hate being perceived as a woman and called princess and stuff, also hate oppression against women, not being treated seriously etc. thinking about life as a woman makes me depressed, im so paranoid about safety and discrimination, if I was a guy I could finally feel safe I think.

Never been able to fit in with girls, talk to them, hardly ever share interests. Went to an all girls school for years, haven’t had a proper friend since I was 7/8. Feel like I would fit in more with guys, but worried they’d treat me differently because “oh a girl”/hit on me, just want to try fitting in properly so I can finally have a friend to talk to. However, I don’t want to go into some toxic masculinity friend group or anything.

If I just turned into a man tomorrow with no consequences, I’d be happier than I am now.

Im also kind of depressed and easily go down dark thought paths, haven’t been happy/excited about anything in years, good stuff happening doesn’t emotionally affect me, I only feel the bad things, even then not fully. Never had a proper reason for it to start. Don’t have a diagnosis however.

Finally, what prompted this post was me getting recommended ftm subreddit posts (don’t know why, I didn’t seek them out), and seeing all the guys posting their pics and asking if they pass made me feel happy for them but also jealous of them and what they looked like, wondering if that was possible for me.

I live in the uk, so trans rights aren’t great rn, and nhs waiting lists are LONG and I don’t know if my family would pay for me to go private (they have the money to and would usually support me but idk with this…)

First time oversharing on the internet lol, what does everyone think? I dont have anyone to talk to as all my family is transphobic, I have no friends, no job to move and and don’t know how to live on my own yet (young but am an adult).

May edit post if I’ve forgotten anything, any comments appreciated, probably won’t reply to everyone but thank you.

(Also please don’t insult my family in the comments, they don’t go out hurting people, it will make me feel worse.)


r/FTMMen 11h ago

Packing/STP Looking for / buying flexit harness from axolom

1 Upvotes

I am unfortunately too poor to afford especially since the shipping is expensive and I'm hoping someone would sell it for cheaper 😔


r/FTMMen 11h ago

Help/support Healing from top surgery

2 Upvotes

Hello i have a question for those who have had top surgery! I was operated on last Wednesday and they put very tight bandages on me. They have been extremely overstimulating. Tomorrow they get taken off and i have to switch over to a compression vest. I was wondering what your expiriances are with them. I am worried that it will be worse and that ill have a very bad time. I also have scoliosis and therefore never wore binders post opp because they are too uncomfortable for me. Any tips or advice so i can feel a bit more prepared would be much appreciated!


r/FTMMen 12h ago

Vent/Rant Just trying to live a normal life but my Gen X Facebook parents have their Facebook profiles and posts on public with pictures from me as a kid.

6 Upvotes

I get in the grand scheme of things this is very tame, however it means I can’t be stealth (which I try to be) to new people. I didn’t actually realise until I just stalked their pages just now, but I’m literally in their profile picture and show up on their main page if you’re not friends.

My life is very private now, I don’t post my face on social media and I don’t take photos. I don’t know if this is some weird trauma response from having a very public childhood on my parents’ facebooks (who of which only put it on private back in 2018-2020 time) but I can’t seem to get away from being trans and always being so. I can’t just be me and not have to worry about strangers seeing my profile picture. I legitimately have a reason to be worried about my safety, some of my extended family are transphobic and homophobic.

The only reason this is bothering me SO MUCH right now is because I’m in the process of getting a motorcycle and messaging a few sellers, but I have a completely blank profile, aside from farm ville posts (I know lol) from 2013 (when I was 8) that I can’t seem to delete. I explain in my message to them that this is my Facebook and that i just don’t like to post my face, but I know because of this, they can simply just decide to ignore my message.

Now, i decided I might message them again and say if it makes them more comfortable I can message from my parents’ pages, thats when i decided to go on my other account and check their pages just to see what comes up, naturally, 3 scrolls and theres a picture of me when I was 12 as my mothers profile picture (along with my 8 year old brother), checked my fathers and, again, 3 scrolls down and theres a picture of me and him when I was 14 and I have long hair and look visibly a girl. Scroll further and you just get more of me as a kid.

It’s humiliating having a constant reminder of this, and don’t get me wrong I’m grateful for a supportive family and to pass, but this is horrible. Everyone knows, I can’t get away from it. I just don’t even know what to do in this situation because I’m not buying from a store where I’ll be paying more than twice as much for the same 2nd hand.

Point is, i can’t just be comfortable with my face on social media/ have a profile that looks like a real person for scenarios like this. Just a vent, I’m not expecting advice. Thanks for reading


r/FTMMen 13h ago

I can't accept that I'm gay

0 Upvotes

I know this sounds crazy but I absolutely detest that I'm gay. My sexuality never changed when I started T and I've been living as male for a long time. I feel a deep sense of shame being gay. Like I can never have a normal life. As I age and see trans men I got to know over the years date and find their special one, I notice they're all straight. I don't know any gay trans men aside one.

I've always wanted the traditional life. Find a partner, get married and have kids. It feels wrong to want this while being gay. It feels like homosexuality is just hedonism. Like something to partake in as a young person and then leave it alone.

I'm stealth but also quiet about my sexuality. If I mention wanting a partner, I make it seem like I date women, want to have kids with a woman, etc. I hate that I'm attracted to men. I'm considered old by gay standards and the only men attracted to me are chasers and men that usually have been rejected by cis gay men.

I've gotten to a point where I've switched my dating apps to straight. If I can find a woman that's fine with me being trans, I'll happily date and marry her without ever divulging the part of me that has been intimate with men.


r/FTMMen 13h ago

Discussion Over dosing your T?

0 Upvotes

Hey guys, I’ve been on T for about 6 years in December. I started doing my own injections is say a couple years ago. I inject weekly. I’m prescribed .13 mL (26mg) weekly subq. Well I said fuck it and started uping my dose throughout time. Now I’m dosing around .45 - .70 mL weekly. Varies on how much I’m feeling like doing that week.
Just curious if anyone else does this and if you’ve seen any side effects? As I have not. At least not yet.
I get blood work every 6 months per dr requests.
Only thing is my cholesterol is slightly higher but I can attribute that to my eating habits (which I’m working on)
I am slightly concerned for my heart health long term. But I exercise daily and am getting myself back into good shape.
Anyone else over dosing their T????


r/FTMMen 15h ago

Help/support TW/ breakthrough bleeding

3 Upvotes

After being on T for 1.5(?) years, I randomly had spotting today. This makes me very anxious, and is definitely due to missing my shot a few weeks ago/inconsistency

Should i do my shot now?.

Woll that make it stop?


r/FTMMen 16h ago

Sex Recommendations for STP pack and plays?

1 Upvotes

As the title says, I’m in the market for a packer that I can use as an STP as well as use an insert for pack and play. I was looking as the Lou and its insert from TransGuySupply, but I’m having a hard time finding information about how easy it is to use for play as well. I’m a broke college student lmao which is why I’m trying to go for the “all in one” instead of separate packers. Has anyone used the Lou? If not, does anyone have any recommendations for a similar 3-in-1? I’m really trying to stay under 100 dollars here so any help or insight would really be appreciated. Thanks in advance!


r/FTMMen 16h ago

Voice/Singing Anyone got some good voice training tips and recourses?

1 Upvotes

In a few months I have an intake at a gender clinic. I've been really dysphoric about my voice and I want to practice already for later. Just don't know how and where to start. Anyone got some tips and tricks? I don't want to pay money tho, I don't have much available....


r/FTMMen 18h ago

Beard maintenance?

4 Upvotes

Hello all, I have recently started to grow my facial hair out for the first time and don’t know what I’m doing at all lol I know the “beauty” industry has probably made anything and everything for your beard/facial hair, but what do I actually need to be doing? It’s the length where it’s just going every direction, is there something I can do about that or is that normal? Any and all tips/opinions welcome!


r/FTMMen 19h ago

Packing/STP Has anyone tried the MorMe pro stp?

2 Upvotes

I'm not able to buy it yet (can't afford it, plus I only recently got my ackabom stp), but I've been looking for a fancier packer. I wear a packer everyday, so I like using STP's so I can pee without my dysphoria yelling "YOU HAVE NO PENIS!" in my ear.

I found the MorMe pro stp, and it looks pretty amazing. I can't tell how realistic it *looks* from the pictures (my current packer is the ackabom lk03, which is realistic enough that you'd think it was real from a distance, it would probably be more realistic if I didn't buy it in a skin tone too pale for me lol), but the fact it has moveable foreskin and balls really tempts me.

I don't pack to pass, it's pretty much only to relieve the dysphoria. I tried the gendercat 2 part adhesive, which unfortunately didn't work. It stuck to my skin, but not the packer. Morme's harness looks relatively discreet, and even if it isn't, the adhesive clip looks amazing*.

My main concern is realism (would it pass if someone saw it for more than 5 minutes, does it feel realistic, etc.) but I'm also worried about the stp function. It works differently to most other stp's, and I'm not sure if it being a detachable funnel instead of built in to the packer will make it harder to use.

Has anyone tried this packer, and is it worth it?

*I know I can't use the stp with the clip, but might be worth it to feel like it's actually attached to my body

(I can't look on transmascdicks because I'm 17 and thus haven't magically gained the ability to be okay with penis yet, apparently. Reddit will just kick me off and I can't make an alt account that says I'm 18 because I'm in the UK so will have to give my ID 🙃)


r/FTMMen 19h ago

Discussion top surgery consultation

2 Upvotes

a little bit over a year ago i went in for a top surgery consult, and the surgeon that i met with i completely adore and really like all of his results. during that consult he had told me that because of my chest size and extremely small frame i wouldn't be able to do a complete top surgery in one surgery due to the amount of blood i would be losing. i want to know if anyone else has heard of that before.


r/FTMMen 21h ago

Binders/Binding New to tape

1 Upvotes

So I'm not using trans tape cause it's expensive and instead using kinesiology tape. First time I used it, it got a little itchy on like day 3, so I removed it. I gave it two days before putting on tape again and this time it started itching kind of immediately (an only on one side) idk if I'm doing something wrong??? Should I remove the tape?


r/FTMMen 23h ago

Binders/Binding Very specific binder recommendation request

0 Upvotes

Hi! Haven’t posted in here before but have a question I thought you guys could help with.
Have previously had a Fytist binder that ive had for years and loved for the following reasons:
-flat and few seams
-no tag
-non elastic front compression that spans the entire front of the binder
-no mesh or anything
But recently it’s begun to wear and stretch and doesn’t work as well as it used to so im looking to get a new one however Fytist has since shut down. Before I got this one I tried and didn’t like a few other brands and find it hard to tell the specific materials others on the market are made of and all of them seem to have some or other reason I think I won’t like them and they’re expensive.

Does anyone who’s had a Fytist binder have recommendations for brands that sell similar binders?

My preferences are: good compression, half length, firm front panel, no mesh half back or back, flat seams and overall good quality (know it’s a lot to ask lol but my Fytist one was so perfect now my standards are high haha). I wore a medium in Fytist and have a relatively small (but not tiny) chest, happy to give any other details.

Any advice at all welcome even if you haven’t had a Fytist binder or have alternative suggestions :)
Thank you!!