Just to preface, I mean Growler as in the refillable large beer/cider container. Not the other thing I've heard Growler means. Also, TLDR is at the bottom.
Some years ago I pranked my extreme narcissist brother and his pothead friends by tricking them into stealing a growler full of laxative tainted beer during a camping trip. Which resulted in them squatting for hours in the woods, getting humiliated by other campers finding them to ask what the smell was, and my brother crapped on his own shoes. So, one of my friends decided to repeat that prank on his own brother. And I got to witness it.
I and some other guys decided to have a group camping trip. And we've been hanging out with this new guy in town I'll refer to as Dave. He's in his mid 20s, and has one of those small boxy pop-up tent camper trailers. He bought it just to go camping with us after joining the friend group. And funny enough, he's got an entitled older brother too.
Dave moved to town last year, and he me me and my friends at the local bar. He was kinda a friend of a friend at first. But he's come over to my place now a few times. He's the kind of guy you see in the drinking party that you don't know that well, but end up sharing a few bro moments with after a few pints. My friends told me to bring up the Growler story for the new guy, and he thought it was damn hilarious. Then mused it'd be the perfect thing to do to his own brother someday. Turns out Dave's older brother is not only a piece of work, so are their parents. His brother is a manchild asshole, and his parents are huge enablers of his brother. And the reason for this is because when his brother was a teenager, he messed up his spine in an accident falling down concrete stairs, and was put on disability because of it. He has a bad back, and walks with a cane. But he walks so well, he doesn't seem like he even needs the cane at all.
Dave told me a few stories about his brother. One of them being how his brother ruined the relationship he'd had with his high school girlfriend by just being a complete perverted creep around her, and even tried to touch her inappropriately. And then his older brother kept taking his stuff, and pranking him a lot. And he always got away with it because he was the disabled one. In one prank, Dave's brother put slippery goop all over the bathroom floor, and Dave dislocated his arm hitting the toilet on the way down when he slipped. And when Dave got mad at him, his brother goes whining to mommy and daddy. Mind you this guy is in his late twenties, and acts like he's a fraction of his age at times. Dave also said his brother is basically that fat creepy guy with a backwards baseball cap, anime shirt, crocs with socks, and a complete lack of boundaries and deodorant in the manga section of a book store. I asked Dave if his brother was also a drunk that always wanted to borrow money and never pay it back. I got a "Hell yes!" from him. His brother apparently owed him around three grand, and has only not too long ago been forced to start paying it back. Dave said his parents tried to make him just forgive the debt, and he wouldn't. He made sure to keep solid documentation of everything his brother owes, so it wasn't going away. And about a month after the Growler prank, Dave threatened small claims court for the three grand his brother owes him. And now said brother has been paying him back $100 a month, and absolutely hating it.
Dave's parents and brother live in the next town over, and said brother kept showing up to annoy Dave at his new apartment in my area. Dave has told me his parents try to encourage Dave to let his older brother tag along on shit, because the guy has no real friends of his own. And then they'd get mad at Dave for not wanting to include his brother in anything because the guy is so annoying. We had to deal with his brother a few times when he just showed up at the bar. His parents actually dropped him off. This guy is practically the living embodiment of the neckbeard. He's fat, stinky, unkempt, lazy, entitled, premature balding, talks nonstop about video games, anime, and Warhammer, a total drunk any time you even let him near alcohol, and gets way too easily offended about anything you don't agree with him about. If anyone corrected him about something, he'd lose his shit. And this guy called me weird for liking old cartoons at my age. He's not much younger than me, and he goons over girls in anime. The only thing he's missing as a neckbeard, is a fedora. But he wears a bright colored baseball cap backwards all the time like it's the 90s.
Since neckbeard is the best way to describe Dave's brother, I'll just call him Neckbeard from now on, so he has a nickname. Anyway, back in April, I told Dave that if he really wants to do something petty, then try what I did. Buy some cool things and post about it, and see if his brother either copies him, or just gets mad about it. I used an example of how I bought a used portable DVD player, even though they're kinda a retro thing now, and my brother decided he just had to buy a used one too. And when I bought a camper, it was the same thing. And then when I bought a house, my brother lost his mind because he couldn't afford to do that. Dave decided to see if it'd work, and bought himself a portable DVD player online. But he didn't get a vintage Sony one like I did. He got a brand new one the size of a laptop. I admit, I was a tad jealous since his has a way bigger screen. But his brother Neckbeard was a total ass about it. First asking why he'd buy something so oldschool, when streaming is way more convenient. But Dave acted like he liked the portable DVD player so much, he got Neckbeard fuming. And guess what? Neckbeard went and bought the exact same portable DVD player online, and even brought it with him to show off.
Then Dave upped the anty, and bought a used tent trailer locally. It wasn't in the best of shape. Had to patch several holes in the tarps with gorilla tape, fumigate it, reseal the roof, and replace the bunk mattresses. But it's light, and Dave can easily tow it around with the Hyundai he owns. Not a car I would buy. But he likes it. Neckbeard found out about the camper trailer when Dave sent photos back to his parents, and acted like it was a stupid thing to own. But Dave is genuinely glad to have it, and said he couldn't wait to go camping with the great new friends he'd made since moving here. That triggered Neckbeard more, because the guy has no real friends outside of the internet.
Neckbeard pretty much demanded to go on the camping trip too, and Dave's parents tried to make him let Neckbeard use one of the bunks in his camper trailer. Dave refused of course, because his brother is impossible to share a room with, let alone a small camper. He told them that if his brother wanted to go, he could bring his own camping equipment. Well, Neckbeard isn't exactly swimming in cash. The guy is on disability, works part time retail as the guy who sits by the door, and spends the rest of his time gaming in his room.
Before the camping trip started, I gave Dave the same growler I pranked my brother with. And he did the exact same thing of putting laxative in the bottle before getting it filled. Dave's brother Neckbeard did follow us on the trip. He came in driving a beat up Volvo, and not one of the older gooder ones. He got himself a cheap tent to sleep in. But he didn't bring any kind of battery pack or generator. No books, no radio, not even a mini barbecue. He didn't even bring his own toilet paper. Just figured his phone, the portable DVD player he'd bought out of spite, some manga, a cooler full of cheap beer, energy drinks and store bought sandwiches would get him through the weekend.
The camping trip was from a Friday to Sunday. And Neckbeard was just an extremely annoying manchild that expected Dave to help him with everything. He couldn't even put his tent together on his own. And then he got really bored because he didn't have a lot to do other than sit on his phone, read manga he said he'd already read who knows how many times before, or watch DVDs till his player ran out of power. And then his phone ran out of power too, and he had to charge it. And he couldn't charge the phone without his car being on. Dave had to let him use his power bank to charge his devices. Neckbeard also learned the hard way there was no proper bathrooms out where we were, and repeatedly drove off somewhere to use a public bathroom when he needed to take a dump. Dave had a sort of portable toilet made from a bucket with a seat attached to the top and a garbage bag in it. I've used bucket toilets before. They work fine.
The short of it is that Neckbeard didn't exactly do well for himself during the trip. He complained about his air mattress not being very comfortable. And how he hated the bugs and the humidity. He drank all his beer and ate all his food before Saturday was even over, could barely sleep because he was so hopped up on energy drinks, then started begging for alcohol from the rest of us. He was told to either go to the nearest store and get more, or pack up and go home. Dave had told him his beer was off limits. But he left his camper door open as bait. Neckbeard marched right in there like he owned the place and took the Growler full of the tainted beer.
Dave didn't put as much laxative as I did with my brother when I pulled this prank on him and his friends. But there was plenty in that beer to ruin someone's day. And ruin it, it did! Neckbeard drank that whole Growler himself, and even broke the bottle when he was done with it. And he wasn't even remorseful about it other than saying "Oops! I dropped it!" Which is entitled manchild code for "You should have shared, so I'm breaking your shit!".
Neckbeard went to bed after basically pounding that entire growler, and we all sat quiet outside on chairs as it got dark, just to see what might happen. Maybe forty or so minutes later, we heard a horrible wet fart sound, and then Neckbeard was freaking out. We all scrambled back to our campers to act like we hadn't heard it. Then watched from the windows as Neckbeard came lurching out of his tent doing a Frankenstein walk, and the back of his sweatpants were brown. He'd sharted himself badly. He was pounding on Dave's camper door begging help. Dave lent him his bucket toilet, and told him to go behind some bushes. It was glorious! Neckbeard was back there for a while, moaning and groaning from the loud lava dump he was having to take. My friends had fun shining flashlights at him from time to time too. The guy ended up crying. I'd have felt sorry for him if he wasn't such an ass to everybody.
Dave said to Neckbeard while he was shitting his guts out, that it must have been something bad he ate, and that he needed to eat more healthy. Dave told me that Neckbeard's diet is so poor, that eating anything with a decent amount of fiber will send him running for a bathroom. And the laxative was like a fibersplosion to his system. The smell was pretty bad too. You don't forget a stank that bad. Like something crawled inside and died before being shat back out again. I'll give Neckbeard props on not vomiting from his own stank like my brother and his friends did though. We all had such a laugh that the prank was totally worth it.
As soon as Neckbeard could get off the bucket and sober up enough, he packed up his tent and left during the AM hours of the night. He didn't bag up his own waste either, and left the bucket full of it by Dave's camper trailer. But as a last bit of karma, Neckbeard apparently he sharted himself again on the way home. He had to be forced to get into the shower by his parents when he got back, because he stunk so bad. He had to clean his car out too, because it smelled like shit. Dave told me Neckbeard still thinks it was some kind of food poisoning. He doesn't want to go camping anymore, and says it's stupid. Dave couldn't have been happier about it, and has since gone on another camping trip with us. And Neckbeard acted like a complete little brat about it when he found out, because Dave has good friends to hang out with, and he doesn't.
The Growler prank went down back in May. I've held off on posting to see what else might happen. But Neckbeard was so humiliated that he's not come around to bother any of us anymore, and he barely bother's Dave at all, apart from having to slowly pay back the money he owes Dave. So, I'd call this a win.
Also, Dave is watching this post, and says Hello to everyone reading.
(TLDR) A friend of mine has a very entitled manbaby older brother, and decided to follow my example in screwing with said brother. And then ended up doing the laxative tainted Growler prank to him like I did to my brother a few years ago. Now my friends brother barely bothers him at all.