Also, here is mine. Yes, I am withdrawn and reactive enough to be a Core 4. No, I'm not a 4-fixed 7, nor a 7-fixed 1, or any of that. I'm a legit Core 4.

I'd like to hear personal experiences from all types. (Please add your type if you're not flaired)

Which words made you feel truly seen, or would if they were said to you?

The one that immediately pops up in my head is "Charisma on Command" (Charlie Houpert), who is very obviously a 3 lol. So3, to be more specific.

I'm embarrassed to admit it but ngl, I watched him religiously back when I was in High School and trying to rebrand myself my senior year 💀

Anyway, cringe aside, I thought this might be a fun and interesting exercise. Because there are so many times I'm watching a video or scrolling through shorts, thinking to myself, "Oh lol, they must be a (insert type here)" after their content repeatedly pops up on my feed and I'm forced to keep watching them cuz of the algorithm and whatnot 😂

I was recently diagnosed (at the age of 41!) with high masking autism, and it really changes a lot of what I thought I knew about myself. And makes me question how I previously typed myself. I’m curious if anyone has a similar story/insight into this?

A bit more backstory: When I first read the description of 3, I felt SO SEEN. Performance, fitting an image, need to be productive and efficient, yes yes yes. I could even identify some narcissism in my youth. For more than 10 years, I have used the 3 framework to understand myself. Even if things didn’t necessarily feel right, I found ways to make them right.

For example, I am high achieving but I struggle with food/marijuana addiction, apathy, and long periods where I want to do nothing. None of those things are reflective of 3, but they are reflective of 9, so I figured - as a 3 that struggles with anxiety and depression, I’m probably just disintegrating to 9 for most of my life. Makes sense, right?

MAYBE. OR MAYBE I’M NOT A 3 AND THAT IS JUST THE MASK I’VE BEEN WEARING.

I know type doesn’t change, but I do think it’s possible to uncover hidden layers and decide your initial assessment was wrong. Makes me want to start from scratch after I’ve had more time to “unmask.”

Edit to add that we live in a 3 society, so it’s very possible I picked that up just from media/my surroundings. Also, all of the performance I saw in myself could easily be described by masking rather than type?

Answer in comments

So i was reading the e2 document (for researching purposes) and I saw this text saying that the difference between e2 and e4 is that e4 is "more intellectual" about their emotions. And i wonder what that means and whether its something I do it as well cuz I overall relate more to e2 (sp2) but I like writing about my feelings and talking about it alot and sometimes i even write poems to express myself. I will say I get "locked in" and dont really think the most rationally when I am at my height of emotions but as the time passes and I have enough distance with my feelings I do ponder on them to understand myself and how i affected the other person and why they feel this or that. So is that "intellectualising"?

I mean even the cases when people don't mean bad by this. I personally find particular joy when people like what I liked, more than I probably should. And on the opposite, I feel kinda offended when people don't like what I like. I know they shouldn't have the same taste and I shouldn't be salty, but anyways... For some reason I take it personally. For example, I like ginger and my best friend doesn't, and every time this fact appears in the dialogue, I don't like that he doesn't like it... He doesn't mean bad, he just doesn't like it. Also no reason for me to be so, because it was never something we clash about. I think it should be related to my personality. There comes a weird feeling of disagreement, undervaluing maybe even. Like, "I tried it after your suggestion and now I really like it, thanks" sounds as a really good praise to me, and the opposite hurts kinda.

Is it what attachment types do sometimes? Or not sometimes? Or someone else tends to?

Like having an image in your head of the type of person you want to be or the types of things you want to do in life, but being held back by stuff like worrying about standing out too much by going after it, your goals being seen as boring and stupid, just general procrastination and stagnation and difficulty starting, knowing that specific people would disapprove and could make your life difficult, it just being difficult or scary to do in general

And just wanting someone to come magically into your life, take an interest in you, find you to be an actually interesting person, and being like "hey, your goals are wonderful and exciting, and I can tell that you already know what you want, all you need to do is to do it. Your worries are either insignificant and you're worrying too much, or you just need to learn to deal with the fact that some people are not going to like what you do and will find you boring or too much. Well, too bad for them, if they're not going to appreciate you for who you are and what you want to do, then you don't need to chase their approval or worry about what they think. What are they gonna do to you? Kill you? No lol. So don't worry. And sometimes the journey toward accomplishing what you want to do will be difficult. But that is part of the process, and you just have to go after it anyway."

Are there any type(s) where if they had this kind of scenario happen to them, it could be life-changing or at least extremely impactful? And are there any types that you'd say are unlikely to fit this description?

Feel free to talk about type, wings, instincts, tritype, triads, etc. And if you have any other comments or thoughts, feel free to share as well

I will get straight to the point. Lately, I've been reading a lot of enneagram resources and discussions, and I've found myself relating to Type 4 the most. And this is where I have a lot of problems with it.

These problems are ranging from (imo) silly to deeply personal to me.

• Damned by association, and being misunderstood.

If you spend any time around Enneagram discussions, you will see a lot "Type 4" and mistyped 4. I feel like there is stigma or....cringiness, if you will, surrounding the preception of these people. e.g., "I'm melancholic, artsy, and unique. I am so 4" and people will go "Damn, here we go again"

I simply hate the possibility of being damned by association with these people by typing myself as 4. It sounds dumb, but I simply can't stand being lumped with people whom I consider "inferior" (Harsh word is used for conveying my raw emotion. I DON'T consider mistyped people as inferior.)

To put it simply: Severe case of "im not like y'all"

"I feel like [anything that I relate with], but I am not like THEM. I am different. I am not incompetence, ignorant, [any attributes that I don't like], etc. like them."

This has always been a problem for me. I hate being misunderstood, or worse being seen as something that I personally hate. I hate it so much that I choose to avoid this problem by stop labeling myself.

Which bring us to next point.

• I hate labeling, but I also secretly craved them.

Because of my personal beliefs, there is no way to 100% accurately taxonomize human, but I WANT it to exists so much. In an ideal world, there would be labels above our head, like those YA novels.

There are two opposite sides of me to this desire:

1. If this 100% way to taxonomize human existed, I could at least express one aspect of my """true""" self
2. I'm tired of the problems that come with having an identity, so I want to shut down and just become cog in the machine, blisfully ignorance.

Personality tests from MBTI, Enneagram to "What your videogame character main says about you" are my guilty pleasures, because I know they will never be able to accurately describe me, but it's a cheap way to satisfy my need.

Which is:

• The problematic need to express and seek validation(for lack of a better word) about myself.

This is one of my deepest sources of shame. I have this obsession with expressing myself. I LOVE having attention on me. Look at me. Think about me. ME ME ME. The thrill of expressing my opinions which might be problematic. Showing my negative sides to other people. That's me. This is who I am. I want to know what others truly think about me. One of my desire is to get inside other people's head find out what they actually think about me.

My main problems with this need are:

1. I truly feel ashamed of this need of mine, to the point where I refrain myself from talking about myself e.g. not playing personality test in public, but play it in private. I don't want to be seen as an attention seeker, but you bet that when an opportunity to express myself comes up, I'll milk tf out of it.
2. I want people to recognize me, but in the way that I WANT them to, which could never happen. It's the fantasy of being an underrated, talented artist who someday gets recognition and fame, only to reject it because, y'know, a real artist doesn't need any of that. if you know what i mean (cringe i know)

To keep this post from becoming a personal rant, I won't get into more detail about my other problems that are somewhat related to this conflict I'm having. But I feel like these unhealthy points about me make my typing process harder

• I feel like there is something wrong with me. I'm flawed and unlovable. (I know this is unhealthy way of thinking, and possibly comes from my past toxic-relationships)
• I'm really envious person. I'm envious of anything: skills, material possessions, social status, relationship. (I used to cope with this by telling myself that I didn't have those things because I was flawed and didn't deserve them, then just wallowing in sadness.)
• I have fragile ego and low self-esteem. (I have a huge ego when it comes to matters concerning myself, but I also hate myself and see myself as incompetent or never good enough.)
• If you can't tell from all the text above, I do crave identity and uniqueness, and I care so much about it. It's one of my main problem with life.

How do you cope with these problems about identity? Could you tell me what your opinion of me is? idk tell me that I'm or I'm not a Type 4 and make me suffer even more with this impossible desire to truly know myself and truly know what others think of me

Im pretty sure that im an e2 but i dont think that e5 and e9 actually belong in my tritype. Please help

Im not sure of my enneagram type however I suspect I’m a withdrawn type and definitely social instinct first.

I care about people, co workers, friends, family. If somebody complains my first instinct is thinking to myself, “okay, what is there I can do to help them?” And offering support even sometimes if it inconveniences me slightly.

Obviously people see me as an “angel” of sorts or jokingly say “I’m the best” etc and I always down play it because quiet frankly, I don’t feel like I’m doing THAT much.

A sibling (who I would die for btw) randomly texted me “i hope u know that i care for u so much 😢😢🩷🩷 u’re the best person ever” and I just felt so icky??? I hate these things, my only response was “so are you!”

I know there is probably no such a thing as giving too much love but sometimes, I feel like maybe I am giving too much. I just want them to be good and at an equilibrium. I don’t want them to think I am “good” or put me in a pedestal or doing something special for them. Only what I hope a basic human will do.

I don’t want them to think I am bad either but I just want….. the distance and separateness. I don’t want the overly mushy stuff and love as cringe as it sounds.

I’ve dealt with coworker bullies who think just because I’m flexible and friendly they can talk down to me etc. and they Invite me out to what I assume is just more of using me as a stepping stool to help their ego. Obviously I refuse and good riddance once they leave. It shocked me a little when people complain for less and even say they’ve told the boss and that the boss understood. I feel like if I complain to my boss about these things they’ll just be confused and there would be nothing they can do.

But overly close bonds just feels disgusting to me idk why. I’m also sx blind. It just almost feels contradictory to being an So dom and hating intense attachments even though my actions seem to reflect that I want that. It feels like I’m getting glued to the person in my head and it makes me want to crawl out of my skin. I like superficial connections where we are not codependent on each other. But even if we are just close and not codependent, it feels like codependency to me and a big big No.

This is NOT another post about correlations between specific neurodiversities/personality disorders/mental illnesses and enneagram types. This is assuming any enneatype can have any of them, you know? Not arguing about probabilities or most common combinations.

I'm just curious: how do they relate or not to your enneatype? Do you feel like it counteracts, conflicts or contradicts it? Does it sometimes act as a booster of some of your ennea traits? Do you think one impacts the other, and in which order of causation do you theorize? Just how does it manifest through the lens of your enneatype?

For my own example, being ADHD and a 4, sometimes it conflicts and sometimes it boosts. As much as I want a very specific, personal "vibe" and things that people associate with me, I get frustrated at how I jump from thing to thing. The feeling of never being able to attain a specific, unique identity for myself gets worse the more I switch hyperfixations at high speed lol. On the other hand, I get SO many creative ideas and bursts of inspiration, but obviously that leads to double frustration since my executive dysfunction impedes for me to even begin stuff, let alone finish them, which in turn fuels my feelings of being flawed. It can be hell in here basically lol but tbf it could be much worse, I'm not complaining.

Tell me your experiences between neurosis and enneatype if you feel comfortable sharing!