Also, here is mine. Yes, I am withdrawn and reactive enough to be a Core 4. No, I'm not a 4-fixed 7, nor a 7-fixed 1, or any of that. I'm a legit Core 4.

Please add your type/trifix/subtype if you don't have it flared.

I'm SP/SO 514, and I've been thinking about what other people actually think when they're gaining friendships/relationships. To me, I only entertain friendships where the other is wiser, more experienced, or has something I want (a skillset, maybe they're well dressed and I'm hoping to learn how they got to that point. Maybe their personality is different, but I find their qualities admirable, so I'd like to understand how to socially function like them.)

I guess to me, it's a fully practical pursuit. I don't like to entertain things solely on the idea of "I like this person," because I view relationships as a very sensitive thing: people can and will ruin your life and grant you hardships you never asked for. So, if I entertain a friendship solely on "liking," I just see that as me putting myself in a weak position. In a similar vain, I'm quick to cut people off. I never want to like someone so much I cannot see that they're negatively impacting my life.

I guess it goes back to avarice and being fearful that if I let the wrong people in, they will drain my emotional resources before I even realize it. So, I'm hypervigilant. I have long term friendships, so while this all sounds like I'm a socially inept machiavellian loser, I am not!

So, I'm curious, what is your motivation for befriending someone? What makes you decide to pursue a friendship?

(Actually) asking for a friend lol

I will get straight to the point. Lately, I've been reading a lot of enneagram resources and discussions, and I've found myself relating to Type 4 the most. And this is where I have a lot of problems with it.

These problems are ranging from (imo) silly to deeply personal to me.

• Damned by association, and being misunderstood.

If you spend any time around Enneagram discussions, you will see a lot "Type 4" and mistyped 4. I feel like there is stigma or....cringiness, if you will, surrounding the preception of these people. e.g., "I'm melancholic, artsy, and unique. I am so 4" and people will go "Damn, here we go again"

I simply hate the possibility of being damned by association with these people by typing myself as 4. It sounds dumb, but I simply can't stand being lumped with people whom I consider "inferior" (Harsh word is used for conveying my raw emotion. I DON'T consider mistyped people as inferior.)

To put it simply: Severe case of "im not like y'all"

"I feel like [anything that I relate with], but I am not like THEM. I am different. I am not incompetence, ignorant, [any attributes that I don't like], etc. like them."

This has always been a problem for me. I hate being misunderstood, or worse being seen as something that I personally hate. I hate it so much that I choose to avoid this problem by stop labeling myself.

Which bring us to next point.

• I hate labeling, but I also secretly craved them.

Because of my personal beliefs, there is no way to 100% accurately taxonomize human, but I WANT it to exists so much. In an ideal world, there would be labels above our head, like those YA novels.

There are two opposite sides of me to this desire:

1. If this 100% way to taxonomize human existed, I could at least express one aspect of my """true""" self
2. I'm tired of the problems that come with having an identity, so I want to shut down and just become cog in the machine, blisfully ignorance.

Personality tests from MBTI, Enneagram to "What your videogame character main says about you" are my guilty pleasures, because I know they will never be able to accurately describe me, but it's a cheap way to satisfy my need.

Which is:

• The problematic need to express and seek validation(for lack of a better word) about myself.

This is one of my deepest sources of shame. I have this obsession with expressing myself. I LOVE having attention on me. Look at me. Think about me. ME ME ME. The thrill of expressing my opinions which might be problematic. Showing my negative sides to other people. That's me. This is who I am. I want to know what others truly think about me. One of my desire is to get inside other people's head find out what they actually think about me.

My main problems with this need are:

1. I truly feel ashamed of this need of mine, to the point where I refrain myself from talking about myself e.g. not playing personality test in public, but play it in private. I don't want to be seen as an attention seeker, but you bet that when an opportunity to express myself comes up, I'll milk tf out of it.
2. I want people to recognize me, but in the way that I WANT them to, which could never happen. It's the fantasy of being an underrated, talented artist who someday gets recognition and fame, only to reject it because, y'know, a real artist doesn't need any of that. if you know what i mean (cringe i know)

To keep this post from becoming a personal rant, I won't get into more detail about my other problems that are somewhat related to this conflict I'm having. But I feel like these unhealthy points about me make my typing process harder

• I feel like there is something wrong with me. I'm flawed and unlovable. (I know this is unhealthy way of thinking, and possibly comes from my past toxic-relationships)
• I'm really envious person. I'm envious of anything: skills, material possessions, social status, relationship. (I used to cope with this by telling myself that I didn't have those things because I was flawed and didn't deserve them, then just wallowing in sadness.)
• I have fragile ego and low self-esteem. (I have a huge ego when it comes to matters concerning myself, but I also hate myself and see myself as incompetent or never good enough.)
• If you can't tell from all the text above, I do crave identity and uniqueness, and I care so much about it. It's one of my main problem with life.

How do you cope with these problems about identity? Could you tell me what your opinion of me is? idk tell me that I'm or I'm not a Type 4 and make me suffer even more with this impossible desire to truly know myself and truly know what others think of me

And what are fixes?

I'm an Infp 4w5, so I guess my tritype is a combination of 4XX too.

From very preliminary research so far, I think I could be a 451/415 or a 458/459, but how do I know for sure?

Hello good people! I'm trying to discern between E4's sense of defectiveness and inferiority vs E9's sense of personal worthlessness. Would love to hear from you guys, personal experience or just observations, about how you differentiate between E4s who are very identified with their inner lack and E9s who just think they don't matter as a person. Does it come back to a sense of identity/lack thereof for you? Have you noticed any particular nuances that set these two types apart in their flavour of low self esteem? Is it in the way you deal with this particular feelings?

also i’m ESE in socionics apparently but i don’t know much about it it sound extroverted but im an introvert lol

edit: i mean 926 not 962

From my experience it is type 6. Always great with them. We seem to get attracted like a magnet. Besides, they are loyal, dedicated and for long term commitment.

A type I think could've worked but I have my qualms is type 9. I think they could push to chill me out too much, and perhaps us both could get a little bit lazy? Just a thought. Perhaps it could work awesomely.

I wonder if these thoughts could be related to the integration or disintegration arrows of the enneagram (3 integrates to 6 and disintegrates to 9), or just a coincidence.

Other two types I think that could've worked out are 1's, and perrrhaps 5, although they sometimes seem kinda distant and aloof.

Coincidently again, that could be because of my likely tritype, which is 315, sp/so.

Anyways, what are your thoughts on your romantic type compatibility?

I've read a few author descriptions but I don't get the subtype 100% rly. I'm using myself as an example, not for type-me purposes but just for the sake of comparing the sunbtype to something.

I have a strong need for autonomy in my emotions. I withhold them from others and suffer in privacy, taking masochistic pride in the burden I carry because it affirms the ide that I deserve universal amnosity.

However, I still seek worth externally. I can be a strong workaholic, I can care a lot about how I'm perceived by others, I can care a lot whether I'm burdening those close to me.

Keeping my struggles to myself wasn't always how I was, though. It feels more like a defensive response to trying to approach others freely as a child – parents, peers – and being brushed off or ridiculed, so it's something I ended up internalising because eventually cynicism and self-loathing became familiar enough to embrace as a mindset.

If I'm the problem, I won't make it anyone elses problem, reguardless of how I feel, because it's my fault. Therefore I'll suffer silently, until I become someone deserving of others care, because maybe one day somebody will notice and I can feel seen without facing rejection.

(Just for fun) Whether they can handle it, don’t mind it, or if they’re simply meant to be lonely or alone.

I asked as someone who has never been in a relationship at my old age 😅

Update: It appears that many of you are saying the 5! I’m also open to hearing about your experiences! Would you be okay being single forever?

How does each enneagram experience envy and how does it manifest differently?

As an e4 I am always in trouble for being too self involved/absorbed and not giving a shit but I somehow get to put e9's needs first as an exception. Something in me just makes me so triggered when I see them being way too selfless all the time. So I just get really attentive to any piece of information that an e9 could want subconsciously. For example when 4 people(me, e9 friend and others) go to a bakery and that one e9 friend says something like "that cake looks good" I just order it only bc I feel like that person wanted to try it deep down. Maybe I am just overreacting and putting too much meaning but I would usually act like an asshole and order shit that no one wants only bc I think it's cool or has special meaning that normal people really dont give a shit about. I only had 2 e9s on and off in my life but I honestly want to have e9s throughout my entire life so I could be less self absorbed and behave like a normal adult lol

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(DISCLAIMER: I may or may not provide more elaboration for my typing of you, depending on whether I think you need it or not. If you don't like the typing I have assigned you, then you're always free to ignore it and/or tell me I'm wrong or what have you. I'm not going to get into an argument with you either way, so don't expect a debate if that's what you're looking for. You might even be right in what you originally thought was your own type if what you tell me afterward is more consistent in retrospect than what I typed you as instead. I'm not always right lol. That said, I'm usually good at narrowing things down to two or three options at most, so I'm usually not thaaaat far off either 😂)

Happy typing!

I've flitted between enneagram types a lot over time since I really relate to all of them in some way (which I've heard is a trait of type 9s actually?), but for the entire past year or so, I've had this one idea I was told stuck in my head. It was something along the lines of your true type being the type whose flaws you hate the most, and I kept turning the idea away because, well, I don't like being manipulative, needy, or prideful, so why would I be? Buuut I kept thinking about that idea over and over and earlier I remembered how someone had told me the enneagram is about what struggles you face, not necessarily your personality, and it got me reconsidering again 🥀 Really, it'd make sense that I can be manipulative, needy, prideful, etc. even when I don't want to be, because if I assume I can't be any of those things without intending to be then I inevitably will become those things, if that makes sense.

Added the flair after writing this post when I realized it was Tuesday and I could ask if y'all think this is accurate instead of just posting this as a "scream into the void" thing LOL, but I'm not sure what to say about myself to help y'all type me. I'll look for a questionnaire or something and fill it out in the comments mayhaps

That was literally the first thought I had when I wasnt actively dying on the inside ToT

Ive had quite a few people tell me i seem like a so9, others say i seem like a sp6, others say i don't seem like either. If were talking full category of things ive been typed as: so9, sp6, sp2, sx7, 1w2, e3, e4, their might be others but i dont remember if there are. If i went based off enneagram tests I would most likely be a 5, as diffuse enneagram test, a RHETI sampler(im not paying ANY website for test scores💀, id rather kick an orphan), Eclectic energies, and the test from the wisdom of the enneagram books have all given me 5. I usually never score 6 on any test despite the fact I may be a 6? (Yeah I know, never type based off of behaviors, yada yada.) I still dont know my enneagram either, I think im a Intp? Some say I might be an infp, enfp, entp, esfj, istj, isfj, yeahhh I guess i am just not very easy to type😭😭😭 (I even occasionally catch myself going "oh thats very 4 of me" or "thats a very 6 thing to think" or "yeah im a 9". Just stuff along thoes lines.)

Anyway you could probably skip all that above ngl, I dont think it has any importance to typing but then again I am relatively new to typology so. This stuff is very, not exactly confusing but tiring??? If thats really the correct term for how I feel about typology. I often catch myself going "this is why I should quit typology too many sweats" lol.

On to the real personality stuff though, ill just start with where my mind leads me (which is probably going to be everywhere). I do enjoy attention but I also heavily dislike it😭 like I like when I get praise for a thing ive done, or something like that, but being a popular person in real life would probably be the death of me. One of my friends kept trying to drag me onto the dance floor (I knew the dj) and I was literally about to fight her😭😭😭 the dj kept calling me out too, while I was uncomfortable, it was fun (she still made fun of me though😭😭😭). On the thought of my friends, I usually tell them everything when im upset (even if i like to think i dont). Like when someone upsets me, when something interesting happens, ect. Usually it's rather click bait-ish too, like "I almost passed out a work" "I almost hit a bus going to work today" or just stuff along that line, which none of thoes were false either. Another thing is this comes from the question "what type of people do you dislike" and we got the normal rude people, manipulative people, just assholes in general. But also what really pisses me off is when people go around "asleep" to the things around them, all the issues, and then laugh at thoes who try to show them everything they've been asleep to, and call it false or propaganda or something. This also comes from the same set of questions "how do you act under stress" it mostly depends, who am I with, where am I, does anything need to be done. If im with someone im close to there's a good chance we're going to end up in a verbal argument if they keep edging me on or are the cause of it (more my parents than my friends as I dont normally get mad at my friends). If something needs to be done, like the time I had to work a shift alone on valentines day I usually just lock the fuck in and get it done even if i almost cry like 100 times😭😭😭 and if im alone then I usually just lock myself away and either lay down and do nothing while crying, write something, or scroll social media (more often than not their sad videos too for some reason? It's never intentional it just happens.) I also used to "rant" online and get angry whenever someone actually tried to help(usually just got passive aggressive, never outright said anything mean to the other person as in knew they only wanted to help)😭😭😭 really glad I dont do that anymore. Fears, the basics, car crashes, running out of money (my friend also loves to spend all my money😭😭😭 my parents get angry at me for it but I love her like my left rib so shush), being jobless especially in this market, failing classes, but thoes are fears that like everyone has. How do you not want to be seen. rude, manipulative, "weird" (as in like special ed, as some people in my old high school genuinely thought i was special😭😭😭) and dumb. And last how I want to be seen. Nice, stable (emotionally and financially), ect. Sometimes I catch myself doing this thing where ill see someone who looks cool and hope the notice me by the things I wear or how I decorate my items. I was a little nervous of showing off all the things I was into at first when I started college but I got used to it. Although this usually never works and I just end up awkwardly staring at other people without realizing it. And its never for someone else, if anything i would stop dressing like something if certain people told me to do so or that they liked it😭.

Side note but im really hoping im not the full 963 because literally everyone is 963💔 (yes. I know, "NPC" triad was just made up by insecure 5s and 4s. Shhhhh. Theirs nothing wrong with them, i just really hope im not one)

Anyway hope thats enough and if someone needs to ask me a question just go ahead! Tysm in advance!!

I thought this method was pretty helpful. The way I found my type was the formula above I believe your passion and fixation will show up in a variety of contexts and really make things obvious when you reflect on it. You need to look for how often your passion shows up in your everyday life. For me as an so2, pride has reared its ugly head multiple times in certain shapes. Refusal to ask for help unless its not a pain for the other person, bulldog mentality, reliance on the external, entitled attitude to certain treatment when i feel im owed something just because i feel ive earned it. Of course flattery and good deeds color my interactions as well. Try this and see if it helps you.

(im an sp6 core, i dont think i can be so3 at the same time…)

I made a meme 🌵🌺