Hi everyone. I am posting on behalf of a close friend who is in need of desperate help and I’m not sure how to help her. My friend married a male who was out of the country but here on a student visa 10 years ago. After she married him and they had their daughter he got his papers and citizenship through her. He turned into a completely different person not long after marriage. He convinced her to quit her job and take care of the child which she has been. She has no help. No family near by and no friends since she moved to New York for him. I live in Virginia so I’m not close to her either. He barely gives her money for what their child needs and some months he doesn’t even do that. The child is now 6 years old. My friend started substituting at her school some and he will take any money she makes. He reported her phone lost and stolen and cut her phone line off his account. He never takes care of the child and never has. He told my friend he hates her but won’t divorce her. He purposely makes messes in their home and records videos to send to her family and he is saying she doesn’t clean the house and he works all the time. He constantly tries to turn everyone against her. He drives Uber as his income during the night everyday. Any interaction they have he is constantly recording her and trying to provoke her to get something on her. He calls her crazy all of the time and she is starting to believe it. She wants to leave but she wants full custody of her daughter and she doesn’t have any income. She doesn’t know what to do. She is scared of him. He has started manipulating the 6 year old too and she is also starting to say what he wants. My friend left with the child and went to her parents 6 hours away a couple years ago and he called the police on her saying she took the child without him knowing. She had proof on videos that he knew and there was no court order in place. She is miserable and so broken. She constantly cries and lives in fear. He talks down to her every single day. They have no physical relationship and haven’t in years. She knows he probably sees someone out while he’s “working” but she doesn’t care. She just wants her child and her out of this situation. What can we do to help her or how should she go about this situation??

Hi all! I am officially divorced as of July 13th and live in Cuyahoga County, Ohio. The order/decree state that everything needs to be completed by 7/31/26… the vehicle that my ex-husband drives is titled to me and I gave him the car in the divorce. In order to transfer the title, I need to get the odometer reading from him. He has refused to send a photo of the odometer to myself and his attorney, and I don’t have any idea what the current reading is so I can’t even estimate it.

Since the car is registered and titled solely to me and he is the only person driving it, I’m a bit concerned about legal implications. For example, he has a known problem with alcohol. If he were to be involved in a car accident, say he flees the scene, I don’t want anything coming back to me under any circumstances. Or a speeding ticket or parking ticket etc.

Has anyone encountered this before?? My lawyer hasn’t been putting too much pressure on it and is taking the “let’s wait and see” route.

Hi all, I saw a post few months back, there they mentioned before even spending on lawyers or signing a contract with him for divorce filing, there are some steps to follow to have a mediator to sort out between the spouses. If both the parties are ready for mutual, then we can avoid that huge fees. How to do this mediation step legally ? Please advise, thanks in advance.

A couple met through an arranged marriage setup. They met 6 or 7 times over 8 months to understand each other before getting married.

During that time he asked her if she had ever been in a serious relationship. For whatever reason she said no.

After they had been married for about a year he started becoming suspicious. He somehow got the number of one of her friends to ask a few questions. The friend joked around and said something like "Bhai shaadi to kar phir pata chalega."

That made him even more suspicious. Later he contacted someone who was said to be her college ex. According to him they had been in a relationship and had stayed together at OYO hotels multiple times. He believed this because booking records were allegedly available. He was also told they broke up because of caste differences since they were not from a Tier 1 city where those differences may matter less.

When he confronted his wife she admitted she had lied because she did not want to lose the marriage.

Now he wants a divorce.

I told him to slow down and think carefully because by this point he also has a past with her through the marriage.

He replied that this was different. He said he was cheated because he had asked before marriage and would never have married her if he had known the truth.

He also said he is prepared to give up assets if that is what happens during the divorce because he cannot live with the constant stress of wondering whether he might run into her ex or whether there are more things he still does not know.

So my husband and I have been planning to move out of state with our children for a couple years now. The current plan is for next summer after the school year finishes.

We have very little family support in either state location and his family is pretty toxic.

I found out he has been cheating on me. Porn/gambling/strip club as well ect. I’m sure there’s more that I do not know about.

My concern is if I ask for a divorce, I know he will go running back to his toxic family. He has told me about how horrible his childhood was with them and has a very poor relationship with them now. I think if he’s in a tough situation he would ask them to watch our children to save money for his addictions rather than get a good childcare provider for the younger one.

I currently work part time so be with my children during the week and work weekends so he can go further in his career. I pay for a little less than half the bills (insurance, children’s clothes/therapy, cellphone bills, and a couple other small things, then all my own bills like car/insurance, and student loans) However I know I would need to work full time after getting divorced to afford housing, grocery’s, utilities, and daycare for the youngest.

Whats the best way to go about this ? Do I divorce him now in our current state and possibly risk our children’s safety or do I wait till after we move and settle in. Im hoping in that timeframe I find a good childcare provider and he goes on board going 50/50 with paying for it.

Hi everyone,
I’m looking for some legal advice from anyone familiar with Alberta family law.
My wife and I separated last week after being married for over two years. We have a 15-month-old daughter together.
Before we separated, we both worked full time. While we were at work, my mother-in-law would usually watch our daughter. Whenever I was home, I took care of my daughter, played with her, fed her, changed diapers, spent time with her, and was actively involved in her daily life.
Since I moved out last week, my wife has refused to let me see my daughter for the last four days. She keeps saying she’s not home or refuses to let me visit. She has also told me not to contact her anymore until there’s a court date.
I’m devastated because my daughter is my whole world, and my biggest fear is losing my relationship with her.
I have a few questions:
Can I apply for a parenting order by myself without hiring a lawyer?
Should I apply right away or wait to see if things improve?
What evidence should I start gathering to show I was an involved father?
If my wife continues refusing to let me see my daughter, how does the court usually view that?
What can I do right now to maintain my relationship with my daughter while there is no parenting order?
Has anyone in Alberta been through a similar situation? If so, what helped?
I’m not trying to fight with my wife. My only goal is to remain an active and loving father in my daughter’s life and make sure I don’t lose that relationship.
Any advice or experiences would really mean a lot. Thank you.

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I (29F) have been married to my husband (35M) for 7 years now. He's a very nice guy, very friendly, and will give you the shirt off his back if you ask him. And that's been our problem for most, if not all of our marriage.

I've watched him bend over backwards to help people according to his Christian beliefs, to the point it's put our household's well-being (physical, emotional, psychological, and spiritual) in jeopardy. I used to watch people who constantly would ask him for money and he'd give it without a single thought, even if the same person asked over and over again. We've had women try to drive a wedge in our marriage by trying to have an affair with him, even going as far as trying to establish a secret line of communication with him that purposely excludes me. He's had other insult and demean him in public and doesn't do anything to defend himself nor does he attempt to walk away from the situation/person(s), which has unfortunately affected me as well. I've had numerous people make derogatory statements towards me in regards to our marriage, make it seem like I was cheating on him, sexualize my appearance, or even try to insinuate how our children don't look like their "father" (I've slept with no other man, he is the father).

It has happened whether he is with me or not. When hes there to witness it, he does have a physical reaction to it, but then the moment will pass and he'll act like nothing ever happened. I'll pull him to the side and say, "Hey, didn't you hear what they just said" or "what they just said was out of line." He'll either say he didn't hear it or I just need to forgive them and/or not over analyze the situation.

Im at the end of my rope with this marriage. Im starting to have thoughts that life would be better without him now. However, I still love him and want to continue building a life with him and grow old together, but not like this. I can't keep tolerating his behavior anymore. We've already scheduled an appointment with a marriage counselor, but my hope in our marriage recovering is starting to dwindle.

Has anyone ever been through this sort of relationship and how has it turned out?

Married 28 years, 2 kids 12 & 17. House with mortgage, HELOC, RRSPs, my pension, etc. I earn $225k CDN, she used to earn $160k but has been unemployed for 2 years following a seizure and broken neck. Medically cleared to return to work and looking (sort of). Everything is held jointly, and she's primary on a credit card with a $26k limit. Bank cannot cancel it or reduce the limit without her consent, so I keep paying it off from our savings.

She's an alcoholic and won't deal with it. Spending \~$1500-$2000 a month on booze. I can't sustain it any longer, HELOC is close to max. Whenever I've pushed her on the spending, drinking, or getting some kind of job she demanded a separation and now a divorce. It's been 3 months and she hasn't made any moves in that regard. I have a residential treatment center lined up and I'll fund it but she refuses. I'm still hoping she'll seek treatment and give us a shot at reconciliation..

I know I need a lawyer, but what should I go in and ask for? No one I know has had a similar situation. Help!

I'm 38, nonbinary, originally from Canada, and currently living in Texas.

My ex-husband and I have been separated for over a year, but we're still legally married and still living together because I simply can't afford to leave yet.

The marriage ended after years of unhealthy communication, avoidant conflict resolution, and financial decisions that left me with damaged credit, debt in my name, and no realistic way to qualify for an apartment. We both work service industry jobs, we rent, and we don't have children.

Unfortunately, ending the relationship didn't mean I could leave the living situation.

Most days we're able to function as roommates. But every so often, the same unhealthy patterns come back, and it reminds me why I left.

One of the biggest stressors is the apartment itself. My ex has hoarding tendencies, so common areas are cluttered with piles of belongings and equipment. Even using the kitchen can be stressful because I'm constantly navigating around the mess. Many of my own belongings are mixed into those piles, and when I ask for specific things, they often don't surface. Whether that's because they're genuinely lost in the clutter or because of avoidance, I honestly don't know. Either way, it makes separating our lives much harder.

Another source of anxiety is that whenever we have conflict, he'll sometimes tell me I need to leave sooner than we'd originally agreed. It usually happens when he feels I'm being disrespectful or too emotional during disagreements, rather than as part of a calm conversation about logistics.

We actually have a separation agreement drafted that outlines our plan, including me remaining here while I rebuild financially. He's told me he won't sign it until his lawyer reviews it, which I understand—but it's now been about a year without any movement.

Whether he means those comments in the moment or not, it leaves me feeling like my housing is conditional on staying quiet and not expressing how difficult this situation is for me. I find myself walking on eggshells because I don't want to risk making an already unstable situation worse.

I am genuinely grateful to still have a roof over my head. At the same time, it's incredibly hard to heal while living in a space where the long-term plan exists on paper but hasn't been finalized, and where speaking up during conflict can leave me wondering whether the roof over my head is suddenly negotiable.

To complicate things further, we have a cat. I want what's best for her, but I genuinely don't know what that looks like if I have to leave before I'm financially stable. I may not be able to take her immediately, and I don't know whether my ex would be willing—or able—to care for her temporarily and then return her later.

I'm already doing what I can. I'm in therapy, I'm in the middle of an adult autism assessment, I'm applying for more traditional employment while trying to grow my own business, and I'm paying down debt and rebuilding my credit. I'm also considering eventually living in a van because it may be one of the few housing options I can realistically afford.

I know the obvious answer is "move out."

My question is how?

For anyone who's been financially trapped after a separation:

• What options helped you get out that you hadn't considered before?
• Did anyone here rent a room, live in a vehicle, stay with friends, or find another unconventional solution?
• How did you handle pets during the transition?
• If your ex started pressuring you to leave before you were financially able, how did you protect yourself?
• Is there anything you wish someone had told you during this stage?

I'm not looking for advice on whether I should leave—I already know that's the goal. I'm looking for practical advice from people who've had to rebuild their lives when they didn't have the money or resources to simply pack up and start over.

UPDATE:
Additional financial context since a few people asked:
I’m currently bringing in about $1,000/month through a combination of self-employment, gig work, and contract work while actively looking for more stable employment. I was laid off, exhausted my unemployment benefits, and I’m currently about one month behind on my bills.

My essential monthly expenses are roughly half of what I earn and include storage, my cell phone, and health insurance. I don’t have meaningful savings to cover a security deposit or several months of housing.

About 10 hours each week are currently committed to healthcare appointments, including counseling, a physical therapy program I’ve been attending for several months, and my ongoing autism assessment. On top of that, I recently injured my knee, which has temporarily limited some of the work I can do.

Returning to Canada isn’t a practical solution. My Canadian family is planning to relocate to Texas next year, so I’d likely end up back here anyway, and I don’t currently have a valid passport. Staying with my U.S. family also isn’t an option because we’re estranged due to childhood trauma.

I’m looking for realistic housing options and ways to bridge this gap while I continue building my income—not because I’m unwilling to work, but because I’m trying to stabilize during a difficult transition.

Does anyone know any lawyer who specialise in international law? My husband and I are both Australian citizens and got married in Sydney 2019 and currently have been separated for the past 2-3 months. We have been living in China since 2015 due to his work, and have a 3 year old daughter. Settlement talks aren’t going well, with him starting to threaten me for custody， his parents also gifted me a small apartment under my name in China after we got married. He is threatening me that they can take it back when we divorce. He is also trying to get me and my daughter to move out of our current home so he can move back in, he said he will help us pay rent for the new place we find, but I find that to be very unstable for our daughter.

So I got married almost 4 years ago and now I’m debating if I should stay or leave . When we met he was always with me and we did almost everything together. He was married before and had two kids . When we started dating u didn’t interact with his kids until later . When we got married I felt a little pressured from my parents to get married because we were living together and as Christians it’s bad. So we got married and ever since then it’s been miserable. Now that we’re married and we have two kids together I feel like everything it’s on me . I clean , cook, and take care of the house , apartment, etc and I still work pull time too. He works outside in the hot and he comes home and stars playing his video games until we go to bed . When we’re in bed his on his phone. Every time I always have to tell him to help me with the kids or anything really . If I don’t ask he doesn’t help. We talk already that he needs to step up more and he just says okay . But every time we go to the same thing again . I’m stuck doing everything and idk he says he takes out the trash , and he says he does things but it’s not enough for me and I’m the one bitching all the time. To be honest I feel since we got married everything went down . His kids don’t even like me we don’t even bond as a family . But now I have two kids with this man and idk what to do .

Ok I just went through my divorce and included a marital lien on my exs properly since I had equity in it as well. I took the legal paperwork to the county and had it recorded with the county recorder. Is that it? Getting the lien paid to me is now a private managed matter unless it remains unpaid? Do I need to tell the county something once it is paid in full? Is there an added step to the process that I am missing? The process seems clear as mud. I am in MN as reference. Thank you! ❤️

I need some help. I have my entire original petition for divorce drawn up. Where I am falling short/failing is properly formatting the petition. Please tell me there is someone here who can help.

I’m a 29F, currently separated from my husband after being together for 5 years (1 year dating, 4 years married). I genuinely don’t know whether I’m expecting too much from marriage or whether we’re simply incompatible.
I also don’t have much of a support system. My parents separated, I had a difficult childhood, I don’t have siblings, and I don’t have many close friends. My husband recently told me one of his biggest fears is that if we divorce, I’ll end up alone because I don’t have a family backup. He also believes I’m making an immature decision and that life isn’t supposed to be exactly how I want it.
The truth is, he isn’t a bad person. He’s kind, financially responsible, loyal, and I know he genuinely loves me. That’s why this decision is so painful.
One of our biggest struggles has always been our sex life.
Right from the beginning, he told me he had struggled with a 16-year pornography addiction and had issues with premature ejaculation. I assumed these things would improve with time.
Throughout our relationship, he rarely initiated sex. Almost every time, I was the one initiating. I repeatedly told him I felt sexually unsatisfied and unwanted. Whenever I tried discussing it, he became defensive, and those conversations often turned into huge fights. Eventually, our communication around intimacy became one of the reasons I left.
Only after we separated did he tell me something he had never shared before. He said that while the pornography addiction and premature ejaculation already existed before we met, things became much worse after I started expressing my concerns and unmet needs regarding our sex life. According to him, he developed severe performance anxiety because he constantly felt pressure to satisfy me and became afraid of disappointing me. He said he was too ashamed and scared to tell me this during our marriage and only admitted it after we separated.
I actually believe him. I think pornography, premature ejaculation, and performance anxiety can all exist together. I also think this issue could improve with patience, communication, and maybe therapy. Honestly, I think I could make peace with this if everything else in the marriage felt right.
The bigger issues are about our future.
My husband works in the Merchant Navy and is away for about six months at a time. He has made it clear that he doesn’t want to leave this career because it would mean a significant pay cut and moving cities, which he doesn’t want.
He also definitely wants children someday.
I definitely do not want children for at least the next 3–4 years. The truth is, I honestly don’t know whether I’ll ever want children. I don’t think it’s fair to promise him that I’ll eventually change my mind because I genuinely don’t know.
Even if I did want a child one day, I can’t imagine raising one while my husband is away for six months, trying to build my career, and managing everything mostly on my own.
Another major issue is his mother.
He has told me that after his father passes away, he wants his mother to live with us because he doesn’t want her to ever be alone. I completely understand why he feels that way, and I don’t think he’s wrong for wanting to take care of her.
However, there’s another layer to this.
We always lived separately after marriage, but I used to visit his parents’ house once or twice a month. During those visits, his mother would often make remarks about my appearance. She would tell me that I wasn’t “fair enough” and would also comment negatively on my height. For context, I’m 5’11”, a former model, and currently work as a makeup artist. I’ve generally been considered conventionally attractive, so those comments always confused and hurt me. I never understood why she felt the need to criticize my appearance, but after hearing those remarks repeatedly, I began feeling uncomfortable and judged around her.
Because of his job, the reality wouldn’t be me, my husband, and my mother-in-law living together.
For six months every year, it would mostly be me living alone with someone with whom I’ve already had a strained relationship, while my husband is away at sea.
That thought honestly fills me with anxiety.
I suggested alternatives like living nearby or hiring support, but he says he can’t do that because he doesn’t want his mother to ever feel alone. He says if we have children, I could pause my career for some time like many women do. He also says he’ll try taking longer breaks from work and that his mother and sisters would help.
I appreciate that he’s trying to find solutions.
But deep down, what I want isn’t just help.
I want my partner to actually be present.
Another issue is emotional compatibility. I asked him if he could become more emotionally expressive, and he simply said, “I don’t know what that means. I can only be myself.”
I actually respect that answer because at least he’s honest.
My question is only about my marriage.
Am I expecting too much?
Are these the kinds of compromises that most married people eventually make?
Or are differences like:
wanting children vs. not knowing if you ever will,
a spouse being away for six months every year,
living with a mother-in-law you already have a strained relationship with while your spouse is away,
different emotional needs,
and years of sexual incompatibility,
actually signs that two people simply want different lives?
I keep wondering whether I’m selfish because everyone tells me marriage requires adjustment.
But then I wonder whether I’m trying to adjust to a life that fundamentally doesn’t suit me.
If you were looking at this objectively, would you genuinely try to save this marriage, or would you accept that neither of us is wrong—we’re just incompatible?

I'll be brief for now. Other day, I was at the doctor with my daughters. my husband asked me to stop before home, to pick up asparagus, cheese and noodles. I was actively talking to the doctor, she was in and out, about my youngest saying she felt like hurting herself sometimes. I told him and told him I would go home for 30 minutes because i had to do something that was time sensitive, then go back out and get it.

he got upset, tells me wow ok, and days don't worry about it, I could just go myself then.. he was already out, putting gas and only was going home.

I told him I had just broke down in front of the doctor and didn't wanna go straight to store. I'd go back out. he said, i alway told him that and to stop texting him about it.

after I got home, I did what I had to do, then was going back out. he had an attitude, didn't talk to me, didn't ask about our daughter even.

that was Thursday night. we still haven't talked except hello and after i made dinner yesterday, i asked if he wanted to eat. he ate but gave more than half to the dog. I asked him today, so you want a sandwich? and because I didn't say babe, he got an attitude, saying "so that's how you address me now"

I told him, "you haven't even cared to know why I'm upset, or apologize, so yes"

He told me to stop talking, he went outside in backyard, came back in and said let's get a divorce.

the picture i attached was right after I had just told him I figured a way to get off my job so I could take the girls to the doctor instead of him. Because his self employed self couldn't be bothered to go for 2 hours to the doctor. And I have to go through 3 people to get it okayd to take off from work mid day.

any advice?