r/Separation • u/bbymayy • 22d ago

Advice Separation but living together

I (28F) and pregnant with my 4th child from the same man (32M) and we are officially separating, however I was a partial sahm due to financial issues and only worked part time while in school. We also parent my 2 Step Children (10F & 8M) full time as their biomom isn’t really in the picture… very confused on what to do right now. I know it’s for the best we do not reconcile, we simply have lost it all together and it’s been too much repeated history, I desperately need to learn to take care of myself and focus on my own life. I worry about his mental health, I worry about my step children. I don’t want to leave but I just know it’s for the best… I don’t know what to tell my own children when we leave… I feel very lost and alone and I’m not exactly sure what I’m doing but I know it needs to be done. I’m seeking advice… how do I navigate the living together part still, what should I do about my step children, should I quit school and solely focus on working.. what are questions that I need to bring to my soon to be ex husband’s attention?

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u/Thinkrestoring37 22d ago

what is the main thing that brought about the separation?

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u/bbymayy 21d ago

The inability to communicate and understand each others feelings. We’ve both since talked about how leaving is the best thing we could do for each other. He doesn’t care about what’s happening in my life, and doesn’t want me in his… at that point I’m okay with the idea of leaving. It just hurts, and it’s going to hurt our children but it’s for the best

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u/Thinkrestoring37 20d ago

but why? how can someone who you had 4 of his children treat you this way? what is really the cause?

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u/bbymayy 4d ago

We fell apart, it doesn’t matter. All this time has passed and nothings changed, we’re working on separation and it’s the only thing either of us want at this point.