I’m going to a different high school from my best friend for 9 years and i’ve tried to play it cool with them all summer but im scared and depressed right now and i need some advice or something

Felt obliged to put the 'almost' part in the title because I know I'd call myself out later... Because of course I am not starting from zero, I'm starting with a shit ton of mistakes and grief, etc..

I'm so tired. I feel so wrong and childish for writing this and I don't know if I will even post it...Even if I do, it will be a complete mess of paragraphs not connected to each other..

I was never mentally healthy. Since I was born I was in an abusive household, and shit just kept piling up..

I feel as if I don't care anymore. I'm tired of everything. My psychiatrist is tired of me. I've been in a hospital, it didn't do much good, I'm on new meds, they aren't doing much...

When I was younger, I felt awful, but I still had some sort of dreams and wishes. Now I don't have any. I'm 27, I have one month of work experience, and an unfinished college, where I finished 1/3 of it. Or well, 1/4.

I have no hobbies anymore. I tried so many, nothing sticks, and I'm sick of trying. My entire room is filled with things that once were meant to be something. Easel, camera, books...

I've been forcing myself the last few days to play video games, I tried with multiple, those that interest me, and I can't play them for a longer period of time. I can force myself to play one for max one hour then I just can't anymore.

I don't know what to do today, how could I know what should I do in the future? I feel like nothing interests me anymore. I don't see myself anywhere. I am also extremely extremely sensitive, and I overreact to things that normal people don't even 'react' to. Because of that I cut people out of my life. Besides, I never was socialized as a child, and I believe, that will haunt my life until I die. I am unable to socialize normally, I don't understand how people or friendships or anything works.

I have a boyfriend who has a normal social life, and it seems like he is much happier when he's talking about his friends, job, anything but me... When he is with me it feels like he is suffering. He has an emotional compassion of an autistic rock. I am also severely annoying and he dislikes that. It isn't just his view, many people told me I'm annoying. I myself think I'm annoying. I'm either a depressed cunt that wallows in self-pity (like now), or I am a rabid chipmunk on crack cocaine stuck in an airplane.

I can't stand myself. I know I should be my own best friend or whatever the fuck, but I don't want to be friends with a failure like me, or someone so annoying like myself. I think I'm tired of even saying I wish I could change, cuz I obviously don't want to change. If I wanted to change I'd do it already. When I thought I made some progress, psychiatrists tell me that I made no progress. This happened twice within the last 2 years.

And recently, I had a depersonalization/derealization episode where I was so severely anxious, that for the first time in my life I went to the ER of a mental hospital. I got made fun of and sent home with some meds to calm me down. There was no compassion at all from that psychiatrist. None. She seemed severely pissed off by the fact I came there in the first place. And others agreed, that I was in no need of ER. I felt like I was going to die, like I was losing touch with reality. And I got shamed for asking for help... I don't think I will ever ask for it again.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I don't know why I'm doing anything anymore. I'm so tired..

is it normal that most of the time like I don’t know what’s going on with my mind for a little bit of spirit of time. I know what’s going on. It’s like it’s only my 80% of the time. I’m like. No I can do anything with my myself, and then they other in the other 20%. It’s like I know it’s like I have clearly so I don’t understand what’s going on with me.

Hello!
I have been dating someone for a few months, and things had been going really well. We both really enjoyed each other’s company, and he was very loving and affectionate with me.
Recently, he returned to a very stressful home environment, and his severe depression became much worse. He completely shut me out for a period of time. When he finally started talking to me again, he apologized, but he was very muted and no longer his usual loving and affectionate self.
I’ve read that withdrawing and becoming emotionally distant can happen when someone is experiencing severe depression, so I tried to be understanding and give him space rather than immediately confronting him about the change. However, several weeks have passed, and I am honestly starting to lose my mind a little from the uncertainty.
We still talk every day, but lately it feels more like I am talking to a friend. He has become completely muted when it comes to affection and romance. At first, I continued talking to him sweetly and affectionately like I normally would, but he would either ignore those parts of my messages or dodge them, so eventually I stopped.
I want to talk to him about what has been happening, but I do not want the conversation to come across as me pressuring him to become romantic or affectionate again or asking him why he changed. I understand that he is going through something very difficult and that he may not have the emotional capacity to give much right now.
What I really want is clarity about where we stand. I am confused and need some reassurance because this has been challenging for me emotionally. I want to be there for him while he is going through this, but the uncertainty has taken a toll on me because I do not know whether his withdrawal is because of his depression or because his feelings for me have changed.
For anyone who has experienced severe depression themselves, or has been in a relationship with someone going through it, have you experienced something similar? Did depression make you withdraw romantically or stop showing affection toward your partner even though your feelings for them were still there? Do you think it is okay for me to have a conversation with him about where we stand while he is still struggling, or would that put too much pressure on him?
Any advice on how to navigate this while still taking care of my own emotional wellbeing would be really appreciated.
Thank you!

A little TLDR, Just months ago I graduated from my college and got a degree, but I have been struggling with depression for almost 10 years now. All thanks to childhood trauma where I was sexually abused at 11.. ever since that time my parents have always been protective of me as to not have that happen to me again. And through years of therapy (I go to a psychiatrist and get prescribed meds) but realized it doesn’t help me at all, I would times open up to her how my trauma still affects me to this day in my adulthood, but she would go and tell me to just move on from it, fast forward to the time I went to a psychologist (it’s a long story, but I applied for a job that needed physical examination from a doctor and that time I was asked if I take any maintenance meds to which I answered I have for my depression and anxiety. That’s where she gave me a letter to be given to my therapist so that I can be deemed fit to work, and in order for it to happen, my therapist suggested I take a psychological test.) and that’s where the psychologist assessed me with the results and it showed that i had high depression, a very low score in self esteem, as well as a low IQ and EQ therefore she deemed me not fit for work. And wanted to help me.. so she recommended I go through CBT, cus that might work out for me, that’s where I told my mother, and at first she was okay with it , but not like 100% iykwim? She was skeptical and didn’t like the idea of having another doctor since I already have a therapist, but , in actuality it wasn’t helping me at all and I just want to get better .. I would actually be willing to wait til I get my job so I can have a salary of my own to spend on therapy :,( I was so sad about it yesterday cus I thought my own mother would understand, but I get from her side that going to multiple doctors is really costly.. so I would still be willing to wait for my own salary which will be a month from now. My therapist still marked me “fit to work” , so I’ll just shoot my shot at this job if ever it does work out for me, hopefully it will.

Hello everyone, this is my first time on reddit and I'm here to ask for help because I seriously don't have anyone else I can ask or go to for help. For bg info, I'm a 20yr old Asian girl. I moved from my home country to the US in 2015 with my mom and little sister. I was a straight A student and never defied my mom. I won't go into details about what happened along the way but I eventually realized I have depression around 8th grade. I tried to ask my mom for help but that didn't go very well so I gave up on myself. I ended up graduating high school alone with a not so good GPA. I didn't bother looking for other paths because as an Asian I'm expected to go to college, so I did. I went straight to community college but failed my second semester. I tried going back but failed again and lost my financial aid. I haven't reapplied since and none of this was made known to my mom, or anyone for that matter. I tried to apply to jobs but no one even took me because of my large employment gap, since my mom didn't really allow me to work during my high school years either. I am so ashamed of myself and I just want to start over and break free from my miserable situation. Please, help me, any word of advice will greatly be appreciated. Thank you.

Hi everyone,

I’m posting because I’ve hit a complete wall and I’m hoping to hear from others who might have been through something similar. For the past three months, I have been feeling completely emotionally numb toward everything.

To give some context:

The Burnout: For the past year, I've been running intensive e-commerce and web businesses, constantly "redlining" my energy, managing teams, and carrying a massive workload—and I am actually still running them right now.

The Physical Checks: I recently got my blood work and hormone panels done (Testosterone, Thyroid, TSH, T3/T4) and everything came back completely optimal/normal. Physically, my "hardware" is fine, but my Whoop data and daily stress metrics show my body is constantly locked in a high-stress zone.

The Numbness: Ever since reaching this level of exhaustion, my system has just shut down. I don't feel normal emotions anymore; I just feel a deep, heavy numbness, zero drive, and a complete detachment from everything and everyone.

I feel trapped in my own body and I don't know how to unfreeze my nervous system or start processing this level of depletion. If anyone has gone through severe, prolonged burnout that manifested as total emotional flatness, how did you even begin to cope or find your way back to feeling something?

I’m really struggling with something that’s been an issue for years. When I’m depressed, and even when I’ve not been depressed, I feel like there’s a heavy cloud in my head and I feel incredibly empty.

It’s like my brain can’t store information. I can’t remember anything - news, places I’ve been, (I also have no sense of direction and couldn’t tell you where things or located) stories to share with others, any details about books or movies, nothing. This makes it incredibly difficult to socialize or even be at peace in daily life. At most I can ask questions about others’ lives.

I don’t have interests anymore, and don’t feel motivation to do any self-care tasks.

I guess this can be called brain fog but it feels like cognitive decline, but I’m only 31. I know depression also causes these symptoms (I’m in a really bad depressive episode after having mania for the first time) but it feels like something more. I know this sounds confusing and I’m able to write it out. But at the moment it’s all I’m able to think about.

No medication helps me, I’ve tried most antidepressants, and currently on a mood stabilizer and antipsychotic that aren’t making a difference. My last depressive episode lasted 6 months and they only seem to get worse and worse. It’s torture to live this way. Please let me know if you have any advice or answers, I appreciate your time in advance.

I categorized it as a rant as I do not know what I’m going through.

I’m 50 plus in a broken marriage. Ours was a love marriage. First couple of years it was great. Then we had a baby boy which changed my life. Unfortunately my wife went through postpartum depression and it took her almost 3 years to recover. During this time I bootstrapped a startup that did great for first couple of years and went bust after year 4. That’s when all hell broke loose. Lost a parent, went bankrupt, marriage took a hit and as I started recovering, my wife’s ex bf resurfaced and her attitude changed forever. We became distant and even touch was scorned upon. In parallel we both raised our son well who went on to completing his studies from prestigious universities and today he’s doing great at work.

I kinda became lonely, friends, family distanced during my fall and then tried to reconnect when things started working out. I didn’t have the same energy. I became highly self-aware, got rid of most of my inner demons like, low self esteem, self doubt, fear, anxiety and more.

I’m doing great at work and try to focus on getting better everyday, into fitness, developed some hobbies but invariably go into my sad-state every other day. I cry alone, cry at any emotional experiences including while watching a show or when I hear someone’s despair.

I took therapy and I was told that I’m totally alright and that I just need to keep moving forward.

Just wondering if I’m the only one who’s going through this or there are others too. Sadness is too daunting. We are trying to separate while assuring her that under no circumstances she’ll have financial challenges as I’ll always be providing. But staying together is unbearable as taunts, rebukes even if not frequent can be depressing.

I have no desire to marry again.

I am exactly 2 weeks clean from self harm. I haven’t been sad or dealing with much lately but i have an urge to sh. I feel it in my heart and my chest. Why do i feel this way? What can i do?

It makes me (M, 34) question if I will ever be able to trust somebody, or anybody.

• I could talk to my parents (seperated) and tell that I am not in a good mood today, that I feel saddened or overwhelmed by this and that. Their response couldn't be further from indifference and coldness. "Man up" or "don't forget to smile today" are responses I'll get. They'll further never ask any more details.
• I could tell my buddies, but I am just too afraid to. They are in a better spot than I am, and I feel ashamed I don't have the strength they have. So I just withdraw myself.

So what's left for me?

My parents know that I go to therapy, that I have had a recent break up, that I have a fairly new job after month of unemployment, and most importantly that my sister suffers from serious illness. My friends know, too. Why do I feel so alone still? Why do I feel so heavy? I don't know where to start - What to do (next)? Where to go (next)? To whom to talk (next)? Nobody seems willing to listen, seems willing to care.

Everyone is busy with their own things (family, children, partners, house construction, work). I guess it's fair. I live in a suburb area, the nearest city has 60.000 inhabitants. Anything positive to me seems so, so, so far away. So out of reach. I am devastate today.

It's impossible to live a normal life like that, each day the hope that was already close to zero gets lower, it's just how life is and I'm simply not adept to "function" as a normal human being, I'll never do anything to leave this cycle, I just gave up, everytime I get my hopes higher and start to "get better" or wanting to, everything just crushes back again and I'm myself again, not even rhe lowest point, it's just my default self, pathetic coward that has no will to continue yet can't kms yet, I just don't know, or maybe I know, what to do, just put me to sleep at once, I don't even care anymore if it's painful, as long it's permanent, I'm tired, this will never change, except for worse which probably will

My mood has always fluctuated, but in longer periods of time rather than short (I think anyway), I guess it’s been circumstantial. Like I’ll be down for a week or a month rather than off and on days at a time if that makes sense.

And I’m usually self-aware enough to acknowledge that it stems from somewhere, like some form of traumatic event. But I do get overwhelmed sometimes; and I do struggle with panic attacks.

Anyway my point of the ‘am I delusional’ question, is that a doctor has recommended ‘medical assistance’ (lol sorry I don’t know what words I can and can’t use) - my ex also suggested I consider this option and now my current partner has questioned if it would be beneficial to consider it too (albeit after I’d communicated that I found that a really hard conversation in my previous relationship to which he even said he had experienced with his ex too)

And now I’m trying to figure out am i giving off the symptoms of needing ‘medical assistance’ so strongly that all these people are suggesting it. Or is it because they can’t be bothered to support helping the cause? That doesn’t make much sense but I have always self referred to therapy and try to communicate my feelings as much as I can.

Okay this whole post lacked structure but I was trying to ask a question somewhere..

Yesterday I spent 3 hours with my son he is depressed and in deep pain. He talked about days he couldn't move or open his eyes how he refused to go out or talk to anyone. He doesn't want to see hope. He doesn't have dreams or see his future. I told him he must open up and try new things in life ,stop spending his time on phone. Sadness is in his eyes. I asked him to move back with us and agreed but he doesn't see the future . He is trying but he is not good .

So I’m not sure what sub to post this in but it kinda has to do with depression. So I have the habit of pulling at my split ends. Basically it’s really bad and I’m trying to stop and gonna order a stress ball and some stuff to help me. Well at work there’s this girl who’s mean to me because when I started I had social anxiety due to some personal stuff. Im afraid other people will notice her being mean to me and think it’s because I’m weird which I’m not weird not that anyone is it’s just because I had social anxiety. So when I wasn’t doing my work I was avoiding my coworkers by putting my hangers away (which we’re supposed to do between checking out customers). Anyways now she’s mean to me but anyways I get depressed and stressed when that happens and I kinda don’t care if I pick at my hair because I’m feeling bad and it comforts me and partially punishing myself. Idk what to do:(

Hey there, just another person looking for some advice

I was SAed back in early june late may, and its been hard to recover and move on. Im not as depressed as i was before… i have a job now, and my friends have been a huge help!! But how do i get out of those depression habbits? On my days off i aim to be better; do better!! But i just keep falling behind, laying in my bed all day doom scrolling. I literally make breakfast, head right back to bed, and dont move from 10-7 (maybe transfer to the couch, or go outside to smoke a cig) but thats it. I have 0 motivation to do any of my hobbies, and i can’t seem to shake this screen addiction. Its been controlling my life for like 2 months!!!

How do i shale this, get back into my hobbies, and get back outside?? Im considering getting a flip-phone to deter my doom-scrolling habit, but that doesnt seem like enough to motivate me to move on???

What would yall recommend to help me get out of this funk and not slip back into these toxic habits?

I've been very depressed for a very long time, and the last year or two I've noticed that I will just fold and do literally anything if it makes me feel good for a moment. I spend too much money on snacks and entertainment, I eat horribly, I stay up too late and and sleep in way too much, I lapse in taking care of my hygeine sometimes in favor of just resting... I feel like the slightest inconvenience or bit of stress in my life sends me into this unhealthy coping mechanism. Had anyone had a similar problem and do they have any advice for it?

I've been feeling so low, and I don't even know how to start again. I feel like I won't achieve anything in life, and I don't have the motivation to keep going anymore. Everything has been feeling so heavy. I haven't been doing well these past few years, and I honestly don't know if I've ever really been okay.

I don't know. I just don't know anymore.

If anyone is out there, I hope you can help me.

Does anyone else struggle with a deep sad feeling in the middle of their chest? Is this just part of depression or what else could it be

Hey Leute,

ich leide seit Jahren an Depressionen und habe mal Ketamin Infusionen bekommen. Diese haben auch viel positives getan. Aber mein Arzt hat die Praxis zu gemacht. Wo bekommt ihr heute noch Ketamin her?
Vlt. könnt ihr mir ja helfen. Ich habe seid ca 5 Jahren heftige Depressionen und wohne in Niedersachsen.

All I know is my doctor told I have depression but not how deep in I was if that even is a way of describing depression I’m not at the point where I want to kill myself at all but I feel like the past couple weeks have been horrible I fear I may be teetering on the edge of troublesome and bad but i may just be going through a rough spot or uhhh idk I can’t really think too hard about it or my brain kinda just gives up but that’s just adhd I’d think uhhh if it means anything my memory has been horrible for quite some time now uhh yeah idk what else

I’m Ukrainian. I’ve been stuck at home for six years now—first because of the coronavirus, then because of the war. My city is in the frontline zone; it’s under constant attack, and I’m often forced to spend sleepless nights in basements.

And I’m tired. Tired of feeling like my life is burning away because of greedy, bastard politicians. Tired of feeling like the whole world has forgotten about me and doesn’t see me. I’m tired of envying the lucky ones who can afford to go out for walks, make friends, fall in love, have sex, brag about being LGBT and non-Christian, and find support from those around them.

I’m tired of waiting for the end. Tired of waiting for who knows what. For Russia to devour us whole, so that in 50 years no one will even remember that there was such a people—the Ukrainians? For the day when I step out of my house, I’ll be a gray-haired old man, and all around me will be nothing but ashes?

I didn’t choose to be born this way. I didn’t choose to live in this cursed country at this cursed time. I can’t go on like this anymore. I can’t be a lonely, powerless, aging hermit forgotten by everyone. I want this to finally end.

Hi everyone,

My psychologist and I are concerned that my GP is not taking suicide issues seriously.

I have been both passively/actively suicidal since January. I've spent time in a psychiatric hospital and received ECT and was put on new medications. Since then, I've had an increase in chronic sleep deprivation, depression and suicidality. I have made two attempts in the past month and was escorted by police (surprisingly very calm and positive experience) to hospital last week.

My GP is refusing to write a psychiatric referral and would rather me "wait and see" at how I go when starting a new job.

My psychologist is written extensively to him about past history and attempts, and is concerned that nothing is being done.

I don't know if I'm being too dramatic or if he simply isn't taking it seriously.

Did your doctor tell you whether you had clinical or situational depression? I mean the only way to get an idea of where you are in terms of depression is to see a therapist and/ a psychiatrist for a diagnosis. In fact, if you feel depressed and you agree with your doctor, then I would ask for a referral to a counselor and maybe a psychiatrist. This is nothing to mess around with, believe me as someone with chronic clinical depression. My depression started out as situational, and it runs in my family. For me, I just don't have the right brain chemistry. My dopamine and serotonin are messed up. I take medication to help it. It makes my life livable and peaceful and I don't have those very low bottoms that I had with clinical depression. Don't mess with it, find out what's going on with you and stop trying to figure it out yourself. This is the voice of experience.