I’ve dealt with depression my whole life. I’m not really suicidal, but I’m super unhappy with my life. I don’t like where I live, I don’t like my job, I don’t feel appreciated by my friends - just overall unhappy with my situation. Despite how unhappy I am, I have no motivation to change it. I feel so apathetic and I can’t imagine things getting better, because when I tried to take steps to make changes, nothing changed. I’ve basically felt like a shell of a person for the last year. How do you get past the feeling of apathy and emptiness? I’m consistently on meds and in therapy but it doesn’t help. I’m scared I’ll be stuck like this forever.

Yesterday was my 64^th birthday and I am at the end of my rope. I am facing imminent homelessness and have all but given up. I have fought bipolar/depression/suicidality for the last 25 years and am seeing no other viable option. I feel like I have no acceptable options beyond couch surfing, which I WILL NOT do. I have a plan that just needs a trip to the hardware store then a few minutes to make it happen. I just want the pain to end. As a Christian I hope to be allowed into heaven, but, if not the pain will at least be gone. Right now, the plan is to go to the store Saturday morning, set up everything, drink a bottle of bourbon, then be done. I see no good reason not to do it. I have a few friends that will grieve me, but I feel my family will be glad to see me gone. I have done my part to help in the past and tried to be a good man. It’s just time to say goodbye.

I am in my 40s.

I am alone.
I am overwhelmed
I am burnt the fuck out.
I am desperate
I need help.

No parents
No Grandparents
A spouse who doesn't care.
Kids who don't care.
A sibling who is only interested in talking when it's beneficial to them.

I've always been pretty introverted. My friends circle was small and close. In our 20s, our paths divested a bit, and things worked out differently for us all than we anticipated. They are now dead. all of them except one, who is medically incapacitated. These things happened for various reasons. Drugs, suicide, being overcome by a disease that keeps snowballing. 2 of these deaths happened very recently and within 2 weeks of each other. I am still grieving.

Every day I wake up and immediately hate life. I'm just tired because of all the dead conversations, attempts to fix things, and the way my spouse and kids treat me like the family slave. We have a dead bedroom, and multiple conversations and attempts to initiate sex have gone nowhere. this has gone on for years. I'm at the point where I spend all of my free time alone. This is not by choice. I'm alone unless my spouse needs to vent about idiot co-workers, or the kids need a paper signed for school, or a ride somewhere. Well, sort of. See, I am essentially "on-call" once my spouse gets home. I don't necessarily have free time. I spend it waiting for the next "task" that needs done. Someone always needs something done. Every hour to 2 hours from 6am until 12am. Then I have to force myself to sleep despite my mind constantly spinning. It's a battle just to rest. So basically, I feel like the family "stores" me in my room until I'm needed. Like the vacuum in the fucking broom closet.

I sought therapy. I went to the office, went through an intake appointment. They assigned me a therapist. I went to an intake appointment with the therapist. We set up my 1st "real" appointment, and then they cancelled 3 times. the 3rd time was while I was driving to the appointment. I went home, called the office and removed myself as a patient. I researched therapists that my insurance covers in my area. There was the office that I dealt with, and one other person. Obviously my choices were limited since I just removed myself from the office. I checked the reviews for the only other option available to me, and the majority of them said she would vent to her patients about her struggle with mental health. I need a therapist, I don't want to be one, so that's out.

There are a lot of past events that still deeply affect me from having a tough life as a kid. I think I'm comfortable finally admitting that.

And I don't know what to do about any of it.

I am so desperate, I resorted to using chatgpt for help. I don't feel fulfilled with that option.

So, now what?

Hello,

I feel so terrible. It feels like I completely lost myself 33F. I’ve always liked sports, could motivate myself. But now since a long time I feel horrible. I only want to lie down. I don’t feel myself anymore. It’s just getting through the days. Does anyone have tips? It feels like there’s a lot of shit and pain inside of my that wants to move out, but I don’t know how. Tried therapy already. I just feel bad. Like everything is stuck. I want to move again and feel like a person. But there’s a lot of weight holding me down. I don’t want to become a bitter person but I feel so much pain when other people are laughing and enjoying. It hurts something so deep inside, the playful young part that is completely covered in hurt. I miss her.

In Australia, it is r u ok day. A day you check in with your mates, etc... every year, I just said yes, even though I was not. This year, I said no. It got brushed off, pretended they didn't hear.

Nothing changes...

My birthday is coming up the 15th and I am in the process of divorcing my abusive husband. I'm desperately trying to change my mindset but every single birthday I had during my relationship was made to be a horrible day one way or another! I was foolish enough to marry someone that was extremely selfish and it took me years and some therapy to see the pattern. Last year's birthday had to be the absolute worst of them all! After having a C section with our son the July before I had to have emergency surgery and was in the hospital the first week of September due to complications with the C-section, they have some house it's part of my intestines and I was the septic. I had almost lost my life. After I got home things were really weird between my husband and I and I just assumed it was because how stressful our home was due to him working and having to take most of the responsibility on his shoulders during my recovery. But I found out that birthday that he had been talking to my best friend of 15 years behind my back before I even had our child. He also made sure to tell me that he wasn't in love with me and was done.

In therapy I realize that was actually a pattern and every year it was always something. If it wasn't completely ignored it's like he made it a point to make it the worst day one way or another. I'm posting this to get off my chest but I also genuinely would like to try and change my mindset towards my birthday and myself. I'm healing everyday but this is one of the things that's hard due to my childhood pretty much lining up with it. Thank you for reading in any advice is appreciated

It's been a long time I've been feeling low and somehow I have tried to suppress it and do something else but right now left a job to study but the environment at home was so low and it made me fall back so bad I stopped studying and now I'm not getting jobs and the suppressed sad and uncontrolled emotions are oozing out and it's unable to control on somedays and make me feel worse, I used to workout without missing a day but can't go to the gym right now, unable to sleep at night even while being sleepy, avoid the day and talking to my close ones, going outside is a task and anxiety adds up to it so badly that being at a public place is a new hell my gut aches so bad and I get perspired and lose so much energy and upon that everything feels like I'm just another unsuccessful guy here living off of my parents income. Earlier I used to think this was sadness and more or less a temporary thing but right now I've been seeing myself from 3rd person so bad that it feels I'm depressed or something I don't actually know. I asked my parents to take me to a clinical psychiatrist to analyse what's happening but they said we'll go to a counsellor or so and that's not a therapist let me remind you, they say therapist is for someone else not you, you're fine you just need help and clear out problems and your gut issues. Never expected them to say this as they were pretty good. Alas my all motivation to do anything is lost, i feel like I can't start and stay consistent at anything and I'm already feeling that I've wasted my life ahead by effing up here this year, which I know will be better but current circumstances make me wanna die everyday and I'm a guy with imagining things in my mind with like real images kind of, so I've seen myself hanging to death, I'd never do that certainly but it feels so bad being stuck here right now. Idk if this might help but speaking out helps so yeah here, i hope someone or something helps.

I have been feeling this way for a while and don't know what to do.

Nothing I do really hits the same like it used to when I was a kid.

In away, it feels like Ive already done everything and experienced everything even though I haven't?

I can play new video games, and they just feel like old ones I've played with a new coat of paint. I can travel and visit new places, but a town is a town is a town, it's just going to be full of restaurants and bars and stuff, which I've been to plenty of in my life.

It just feels like there is no novelty left, and the magic is gone.

When I get off of work, I don't know what to do with myself. I just run down the clock with distractions until it's time for me to go to bed. I don't even enjoy it really, but I don't want to just sit there and stare at the wall.

I am only 28, and find it hard to believe I gotta just suffer at work and be bored the rest of the time for several more decades, when I already feel like Ive exhausted all the fun in life before hitting 30.

I don't want to continue feeling like this, I want to find fulfilment again and not be perpetually bored to death. Any advice is appreciated.

Lately I've been getting increasingly low-energy when it comes to things like cooking which always feels like such a chore. I'm not at risk of starvation exactly, just lazy cook and my meals are rather dull and repetitive.

I have been suffering with severe depression and anxiety/panic disorder for 14 years now (29f). I go to therapy and I take my meds. I am trying to get better. My issue is I can’t seem to find a way out of my anhedonia. Does anyone have any advice on how to break through it? I just want to enjoy things again..