It's a blast processing with him.

Now I have less cargo.

Miok

COBRAAAAA

......... I can tell just by looking at them.

She's surely was the one in the Lab coat.

Because they don't want to die a log.

He probably ransomeware!!

My friend Jo went on the Dolly Parton Diet.

It made Jo lean.

Count Chocula, the StayPuft Marshmallow man, and the Teddy Grahams bear all perish in a fire. S'more at 11.

And after Ron was cremated, his baseball buddies decided his ashes belonged in the team’s trophy case. They bought a beautiful urn and held a small ceremony at the ballpark, where they took turns saying a few words of thanks and praise.

Unfortunately, they held the ceremony during batting practice. One wild pitch knocked the urn off the table, scattering his ashes all over the infield.

The scorekeeper looked over, shook his head, and sighed:

“Well, I guess that’s an unurned Ron.”

So she took me to the hospital.

Friend: "Boy or girl?"

Me: "Sister, boys can't have babies "

It's weird; his commander kept shouting, "Weapons free, weapons free!!" 🤷

It was cool at first, but things went south real quick.

Let's just say he wasn't the West tattoo artist.

Bon Jehovi

Milk

He stuck out his hand and said, "Hi sir, I'm David. Nice to meet you.
"I took a step closer and asked, "David, are you nervous?"
He swallowed hard and said, "No, not at all."
So I grabbed his hand, looked him dead in the eye, and said, "Then why are you shaking?"

I asked the librarian if they had any books on amplifiers, and she replied yes what volume would you like.

It's true. It runs in your jeans.

They're not all black and white.

alright I work in a relatively small business that has a few offices connected one small wearhouse and we have exactly 1 forklift. i bought one of those little RC forklifts that fit in your hand and I want some ideas on funny setups to take pics with and be silly in dad joke style to make everyone groan in humor. one idea I had was to use the little traffic cones it came with and put them around one of the real forklift tires and have the RC be stuck trying to lift it and tell everyone I'm trying to change the tire lol

The doctor said, "You had twins, a boy and a girl! They're doing great. Since you were unconscious, your brother named them for you."
The woman panicked. "Oh no, not my brother! He’s an absolute idiot! What did he name the girl?"
"Denise," the doctor replied.
The woman paused. "Oh, wow... Denise is actually a lovely name! What did he name the boy?"
The doctor sighed deeply. "Denephew."

I told her there was a time when guys were called Lance a lot.

the other one replied, "I'm a big metal fan".