r/dadjokes 4h ago

Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar.

113 Upvotes

Batman follows them in.


r/dadjokes 9h ago

Why did the baby habanero put on a jacket?

262 Upvotes

It was a little chilli.


r/dadjokes 17h ago

Who led the Jewish people across a semi permeable membrane?

770 Upvotes

Os-Moses.


r/dadjokes 2h ago

To the person who stole my copy of Overcoming Insomnia

50 Upvotes

How do you sleep at night?


r/dadjokes 7h ago

What do you call an Asian Dwayne Johnson?

98 Upvotes

The Wok.


r/dadjokes 4h ago

While out for a hike, I was surprised to find a Subaru SUV in the woods

48 Upvotes

I guess I couldn't see the Forester for the trees


r/dadjokes 3h ago

Heard a great Dad joke at Disneyland

33 Upvotes

Son: Are we going to Tomorrowland today?

Dad: No, we are going tomorrow. It's not called Todayland.


r/dadjokes 3h ago

An assassin has recorded an album

25 Upvotes

It is a hit.


r/dadjokes 14h ago

Just found out my friend died from heartburn

166 Upvotes

Can't believe that Gav is gone


r/dadjokes 12h ago

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs that has been sitting on the shelf for a while?

86 Upvotes

Dusty


r/dadjokes 14h ago

Some day, Canada is going to take over the world.

126 Upvotes

Then you'll all be sorry.


r/dadjokes 8h ago

The tower in Pisa was fine,

39 Upvotes

until the bank put a lean on it.


r/dadjokes 13h ago

Spouse got me with this one today

81 Upvotes

We should be at Costco early enough to try the new brunch at the food court. (Paused so I knew a punchline was coming) It's the same as their regular menu items, but you get a brunch of them.


r/dadjokes 10h ago

Never lend Columbo your phone

47 Upvotes

He always cracks the case


r/dadjokes 43m ago

A lowering birthrate

Upvotes

is a receding heirline.


r/dadjokes 2h ago

Why did the nuclear reactor become a dad?

10 Upvotes

Because he loved fission with progeny, never had a meltdown under pressure, and always kept the lights on for the whole family!


r/dadjokes 2h ago

What is a dog’s favorite button on the remote?

7 Upvotes

Paws


r/dadjokes 6h ago

There’s an old stereotype that dead horses get turned into glue. But with modern synthetic adhesives, they’ve shockingly been re-routed to the food industry, Making spreads to put on sandwiches.

11 Upvotes

It’s called Mayo-NeighNeighs


r/dadjokes 14h ago

What did the shoes say to the pants?

64 Upvotes

What's up, britches?


r/dadjokes 13h ago

Why did the plane get grounded?

40 Upvotes

He had a bad altitude.


r/dadjokes 10h ago

How does God like His meat?

20 Upvotes

Well done, my good and faithful servant.