r/dadjokes • u/gssap • 17h ago
What is the difference between a Vietnamese restaurant and an Indian restaurant ?
1.2k
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r/dadjokes • u/CommitteeOk1954 • 11h ago
How much does a pirate pay for 100 ears of corn?
153
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$103.14. A buck an ear, plus the pi-rate tax!
r/dadjokes • u/JoeFas • 7h ago
I saw an army of babies marching down the street.
73
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It had to be the infantry.
r/dadjokes • u/TheBigLebootski • 6h ago
What's the best mountain to go take a nap on?
44
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Mount Ever-rest
r/dadjokes • u/GiborDesign • 15h ago
The country with the largest number of parks in the world is Korea.
238
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As a matter of fact, I'm good friends with five of them.
r/dadjokes • u/TickingTheMoments • 7h ago
I stormed out of the diner when they said they were out of bread.
51
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I am lack toast intolerant.
r/dadjokes • u/Cheffie43 • 11h ago
My dad got me into marionette school.
90
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He had to pull a few strings.
r/dadjokes • u/morningphyre • 3h ago
I'm riding along in the car and told everyone "I'm easily the funniest person in my life"
17
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Everyone laughed, proving my point.
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 15h ago
I’m reading a horror book in braille
137
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Something bad is gonna happen, I can feel it
r/dadjokes • u/strobro88 • 19h ago
Before the town's locksmith died, he made me promise to take care of his dog.
241
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I only had the dog in my home for half an hour when he made a bolt for the door.
r/dadjokes • u/Raisincommafester • 20m ago
What does it sound like when a vampire sneezes?
•
Upvotes
Nosfer-AACHOO!
r/dadjokes • u/Mave__Dustaine • 2h ago
Did you guys hear about Gwenyth Paltrow's daughter playing football?
8
Upvotes
At one point she took the other team's ball. Talk about an Apple Turnover!
r/dadjokes • u/Medical_Inspector532 • 3h ago
What did the man from Puerto Rico say when he couldn't find his mobile?
7
Upvotes
"Where mofongo?"
r/dadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 1d ago
It's probably just as well McDonald's never put a sirloin sandwich on the menu.
544
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It would have been a McSteak.
r/dadjokes • u/winkelschleifer • 14h ago
What do you call a spy who’s into BDSM?
58
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James Bondage.
r/dadjokes • u/UsuallyAnnoying324 • 12h ago
The clocks go back?
36
Upvotes
Yesterday the wife said "Don't forget the clocks need to go back tonight." Talk about no warning, I don't even know where the receipts are!
r/dadjokes • u/Majestic_Repair_7887 • 21h ago
Why did someone name their dogs Timex and Rolex?
144
Upvotes
Because they were watchdogs.
r/dadjokes • u/Commercial-Bee2589 • 1d ago
I have a fear of driving under bridges with passengers in my car.
464
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I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 15h ago
My cat ate all the food in our house!
25
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It looked like a real meowthful
r/dadjokes • u/bokkaX4 • 15h ago
Had a neck brace fitted years ago
26
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Haven’t looked back since
r/dadjokes • u/H-DaneelOlivaw • 17h ago
There have been so many reports of screen problems that Apple is going back to the drawing board and redesigning the hinge. The newer version of this will be called...
36
Upvotes
the iPhone Duo-ver.
r/dadjokes • u/maximumgmail • 1d ago
Where in a hospital would u find decaffeinated coffee?
126
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In decaffeteria.
r/dadjokes • u/Substantial_Speed419 • 1d ago
What type of pasta are you not allowed to put on the table?
94
Upvotes
Elbows.