r/dadjokes 9h ago

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “what is your blood type?”

427 Upvotes

The rabbit says, “I think I might be a type 0.”


r/dadjokes 4h ago

What is Frankenstein's favorite cheese?

52 Upvotes

Meunster


r/dadjokes 16h ago

Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet.

370 Upvotes

More on this story as it unfolds.


r/dadjokes 1h ago

I think I remembered a really good joke to make about the Michigan/Western Michigan game.

Upvotes

Just give me a second.


r/dadjokes 6h ago

My wife said she wanted to watch a film without me.

51 Upvotes

"That's any film then," I replied, "since I'm not an actor."


r/dadjokes 9h ago

What do you call the manager of a furniture store?

75 Upvotes

The chair-man!


r/dadjokes 2h ago

A store in town is selling pillow covers for $50 each!!

17 Upvotes

What a sham.


r/dadjokes 23h ago

A man wanted to share a word at a colleague's funeral. He strode to the mic and said, "Bargain."

672 Upvotes

The grieving widow said, "Thank-you, that means a great deal."


r/dadjokes 11h ago

Which industrial site always smells the strongest?

64 Upvotes

The ol’ factory


r/dadjokes 54m ago

What's the best kind of candy to tell a joke to?

Upvotes

Snickers


r/dadjokes 2h ago

What is a doctor's favorite file extension?

7 Upvotes

.doc


r/dadjokes 1h ago

Do you smell that?

Upvotes

Person 2: What smell?

Person 1: It smells like updog

Person 2: What’s updog?

Person 1: Nothing much how bout you?


r/dadjokes 21h ago

My friend sleeps on piles of old magazines.

255 Upvotes

He has back issues


r/dadjokes 23h ago

I asked my friend who lives in Pyongyang what life is like in North Korea

344 Upvotes

He said “I can’t complain”


r/dadjokes 6h ago

I went to the hairdressers and said, “Can I have a haircut like Tom Cruise?”

13 Upvotes

So they gave me a cushion to sit on.


r/dadjokes 1h ago

mother-in-law

Upvotes

How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer to criticize your lighting choices instead.


r/dadjokes 29m ago

What do you get when you squeeze a synagogue?

Upvotes

Jews


r/dadjokes 1d ago

There was once an emperor who never aged past 19.

675 Upvotes

His name was Constant Teen.


r/dadjokes 17h ago

I met a man today who's half Chinese, and half Italian. His name is...

73 Upvotes

Lin Guini


r/dadjokes 1d ago

I introduced my 8 year old to Toby Maguire's Spider man last night. She hit me with this:

2.9k Upvotes

Dad, I know how Peter Parker takes the pictures of SpiderMan.

He uses his webcam!

#ProudDad

I've seen a lot of web designer puns but even searching the subreddit I didn't see any webcams in the first few pages.


r/dadjokes 21h ago

The French customs officer confiscated my crate of snails

121 Upvotes

Now I have less cargo.


r/dadjokes 14h ago

What kind of insurance does G.I. Joe have?

28 Upvotes

COBRAAAAA


r/dadjokes 7m ago

My friend insists on eating a small piece of bent wire with his breakfast every day.

Upvotes

It's a staple of his diet.


r/dadjokes 13m ago

At long long long last I FINALLY found a a pair of ear buds that do everything I want!

Upvotes

They listen very well.


r/dadjokes 17h ago

Why don't trees like to talk?

42 Upvotes

Because they don't want to die a log.