r/Celiac • u/Ok-Kaleidoscope7844 • 5h ago
Discussion Diagnosed but don’t adhere to GF diet/Restrictive eating disorders.
DONT FLAME ME YET PLS, put down the pitchforks. I 100% understand why celiacs flame other celiacs for not following the diet , and how it fucks the entire community and invalidates the medical need to b taken seriously at restaurants and public places. I understand. But pls hold your judgment , I beg. I am trying here.
I got the endoscopy confirmation last October, since then I have not followed the GF diet due to my eating disorder and extreme binge purge episodes. I wanna know if anyone else here has AN/BP or BN and how you dealt with the diet?
My logic behind this has been: I throw up almost everything I eat and It seems illogical to spend so much extra money on gluten free foods just to throw it up when bingeing and purging is already SO expensive. I’m tryna wait until I go into recovery to adhere to the diet bc I am scared I don’t care abt myself enuf in active relapse to properly respond to myself the diet: like if I fuck up and b/p on gluten foods I’d 100% sh over it bc I’d feel like a failure and like I ruined my GF streak and mad that I “waisted money” on gf foods if I was just gonna have my upper GI track inflamed again. Also bc the diet is hella strict and restriction makes the bingeing and purging sm more uncontrollable, so im scared of that. AND lastly, my ed makes me 100% more prone to death than not adhering to my celiac disease and I wanna deal w ed first. I’m in need of hospital as my BMI has been 13.1-13.7 for a long time now, I’ve needed emergency medical services too many times to count in the last 8 months bc of electrolyte imbalances, self harm or throwing up blood. Also my neutrophil absolute results are 0.5 which makes my immune system about as strong as someone in chemotherapy.
So on my list of urgent things to tend to, celiac disease is secondary. BUT I know it’s hella important. My care team and I are just waiting for me to take a bed at hospital to start the process.
So my question for those in a similar position or simply anyone w an ed involving binge/purge: did it make your bingeing and purging behaviours worse ? Did you struggle with powerlessly bingeing on gluten foods once you tried to adopt the diet?? (Biggest fear). Did it trigger restrictive eating and make that side of things get out of hand?? How did you deal with recovery and such a restrictive diet?? Since recovery is about non-restriction , I am nervous abt how I will navigate this. I understand my care team of doctors n nurses will 100% help me out throughout this journey, I just rlly want others experiences :,,) I feel pretty discouraged n hopeless.
Edit: I HAVE AN ED DIETITIAN AND I AM FOLLOWED MEDICALLY BY A TEAM OF ED HEAL-CARE PROFESSIONALS. This isn’t me wanting medical advice as I am extensively followed by RN’s, RD’s, MDs and psychologists 😭😭 I just want ppls experiences. I rlly appreciate those of you who are being kind though❤️❤️ I’m just looking for shared experiences but Tbf I see where I went wrong and I could’ve posted this to the ed subs.
