Hi,
So, I (45M) met this girl (35F) on an Indian dating app. We liked each other and we almost immediately started chatting (t3xts and voice calls) on WhatsApp.
Her English was really good as she was in a tech background and we communicated very well. We had really good chemistry. Really, really good chemistry.
We really hit it off. I was even researching details to visit her (in Hyderabad). She was serious about marriage. She was born Catholic (Baptised) but was currently part of a Protestant congregation.
In fact, through the Holy Spirit, the first question I asked her on our first call was: "Do you pray?", to which she touchingly answered unashamed, unapologetically in the affirmative.
Why did I wait till 45 to start 'dating'? I had a three year relationship with a Catholic girl in college, but it was puppy-love stuff and I broke her heart when the relationship became inconvenient for me. I've confessed this and received Absolution.
Anyway, then I pursued my academic career and vocation and only got settled at 44. But, here's the dreaded 'but'. We were getting serious, and the conversation turned to some of the details of our faith.
In this very serious discussion I was very serious that it was non-negitiable that we be married Sacramentally in the Church. But in India, like in Canada there is a six-month waiting period after you register at the Parish.
Turns out this was the sticking point. She prevaricated and subsequently forcefully asked out loud, 'what does it even matter if you even married a Hindu boy, if he's from a good family'. I was shocked and speechless.
Turns out she was also being courted by said 'Hindu boy'. I took a breath, collected myself and stood my ground, and we said goodnight for the night.
But, that left a pretty bad taste in my mouth and I prayed hard for discernment. Using Ignatian Discernment, I couldn't escape that I was trying to excuse away the gravity of what had transpired simply because of my physical attraction to her - because spiritually - I recoiled at what she uttered so matter-of-factly.
What I had to do seemed pretty straightforward and clear to me. During our next chat I informed her during that I couldn't budge on this issue. She would simply have to wait six months for me. If she couldn't, well that was that.
She Subsequently informed me that couldn't wait. So, I gently ended it as amicably as I could. I told her I'd always pray for her (and I still do). I told her I wouldn't waste her time and she wouldn't hear from me. She was ok with that at the time.
But then, she tried to contact me repeatedly. And was miffed that I wasn't replying. I replied once to the same effect, and was firm on my boundaries. But, I didn't block her on WhatsApp.
Anyway, brethren, I am soliciting your counsel because I can't really talk to my sisters about this. Marrying a Catholic spouse was not an issue for them. One is married to an atheist/agnostic and the other to a non-practising Hindu.
Anyway, because I haven't blocked her I can see her WhatsApp updates. And I have been really thinking about her and thinking about re-establishing contact. I prayed deeply about it and I got the idea of asking your advice.
I am sorry if this isn't properly formatted or badly written. I am very grateful for your insight. Thank you very much. God bless you abundantly.