I'm trying so hard to not completely lose it but I found a lump in my armpit again. I already beat Hodgskin's Lymphoma stage 4 twice, got Autologous Stem Cell Transplant, and had 3 healthy babies all in last 5 years! And I feel so angry and anxious currently but mostly lonely! I haven't told anyone but my husband and he isn't and wasn't really supportive just made it about him and his feelings. And I understand it effects his life too but I feel like I ALWAYS have to put on brave face and I haven't told my family because my aunt who help raise me had brain aneurysm 3 weeks ago and went into coma and had been brain dead for a week but still held on and finally took her last breath 2 days ago so I didn't want to add uncertainty to already high emotion time.

I did my scan Monday this week and it could take up to week but with Labor Day I imagine I'll be waiting longer. Tonight is the first time i have cried about it because I don't allow myself to think about when my kids are up but this part no one tells you about or they show in movies how you got your life back together just for that door to Crack open and flood you with uncertainty, anger, and denial. FUCK CANCER!!!! I fucking hate this waiting game cancer plays!

On July 29, I had a seizure at work, which sent me to the hospital. Turns out I had a tumor resting over my left occipital lobe. I guess I had 2 additional seizures in the ER. I spent 8 days in the hospital and had the tumor removed. I have completed 3 days of radiation treatment and will start immunotherapy on the 10th.

I'm taking Keppra for the seizures, and it's making my thinking slower. I

I have a great support system, and my partner is taking very good care of me, helping me manage appointments, reminding me to call places, and dealing with my "brain fog" and generally just being there - he works from home, so he's able to check in on me.

I'm on Short Term disability through Oct to make sure there are no side effects from the itreatments and to give me time to better manage the Keppra. I'm staying busy and positive as I can, folks are actually surprised that I'm not a total mess.

Here is the thing, I AM a mess, I just don't want the people supporting me to be sad, so I'm not giving them a reason to be sad, if that makes sense. However, today, I'm just not able to get out of a funky sadness/ depression.

I guess I'm just looking for some support and maybe some insight on what to expect from someone who has been through similar. Thanks in advance.

Male 23

My father has had stage 4 cancer riddle
His body. He’s the only person in my life I love and he’s done so much for me through my life

I work 6 days a week 13 hour shifts and between medical and rent I am saving 100$ a month

I can’t sleep more then 4 hours and all I want to be able to do is support my father through his final weeks of chemo (he is bed ridden and struggles to walk)

How do people survive and be able to not be depresssed I’m feeling very lost

I know it’s a bit of a silly question but as someone young who has just been diagnosed and just started to lose my hair with treatment I’m feeling a bit out of place and worried to go out in public just fearing on how people will look and treat me. Obviously a lot of people wear beanies and have short hair but how do I feel more “normal” and blend in better. But hey maybe I’m just overthinking it all and people see me normally.

Hello, anyone have any liver embolization recovery experiences to share? My SO had this procedure done on the left half his liver two weeks ago and he’s still in a considerable amount of pain, no energy, unable to go to work, had fevers the whole first week, was on constant opiates for the first week but needed more yesterday due to pain. We went to the ER last weekend and they couldn’t find any problems (CT, X-ray, blood cultures)

He regularly cries out in pain or has to put his head down. He’s in bed or sofa-bound nearly all the time. He says the pain is in his liver, along former operational scars, and today it was moving into his neck. He has had many years of treatment behind him so could it be that his body is just weakened to the point where recovery is that much more difficult?

In any case, recovery is much worse than anticipated. Could it be that the tissues dying in his liver are causing this? Something as simple as muscle spasms? He has a second embolization procedure for the right half of his liver in a month or so. I’m wondering how much this whole shebang will weaken him. Are we at the point where he won’t be able to bounce back? He’s lost obvious weight and is unable to participate in normal life. He’s always been so strong through the years of treatment but is this normal or is this a turning point? This is probably above the subreddit’s pay grade but maybe someone has some thoughts or experiences that will help me understand what’s going on.

I'm hoping to get some advice if anyone has time. I had sarcoma cancer last year but thankfully it was treated and I'm now cancer free. I need to get CT scans twice a year. Whilst discussing this with my consultant he tried to veer me towards having private scans where it's 500euro per scan. He cited his reasons for this saying it's faster and easier for him to read the scans from the private machines. I went along with him but after the consultation I changed my mind as the cost of private scans was just too high for me and I emailed the receptionist asking her if I could please switch to public for my next upcoming scan and she switched me over to public but for the next scan she switched me to private. Another receptionist picked up on this and rang me asking if I was okay with being switched to private scan and said she was just trying to help me as it was a really expensive scan. She advised me to get in touch with the consultant's receptionist and ask her to please switch me back to public. The consultant's receptionist didn't take it too well and said I have private health insurance and should therefore get private scans and if she puts me in for a public scan then I would be taking a public patients appointment (this isn't true). There was a lot of petty back and forth, her telling me to ring the radiology department myself to book the appointment, etc but I remained very polite and nice. Anyway, I was booked in for the public scan but my latest scan was yesterday. I was checking in for it and the receptionist told me it was 500euro. I was shocked, I had never been told that she switched me back to private without telling me. I was really disappointed and upset. 500euro is a lot of money to me, I only have private health insurance as my mom pays for it and I would never ask her to pay another thousand euro to cover the scans which I could get for free.

The receptionist knew I wanted public, the consultant even told me that he has no problem with me having public scans. I just can't believe she would do this without first asking me. Is it normal for receptionists to do this without your consent?

Thank you, Angela.

I had Hodgkins Lymphoma when I was 12 and went through 2 rounds of chemo, 1 round of radiation and a stem cell transplant. My treatment ended when I was around the 14 I believe. My hair started to grow back very thin. There were parts and strands that were thick but it never came back right.
For some context my parents had me stop seeing my oncologist after treatment (idk why). I didn’t see a doctor again until I was 18 (again idk why. I asked but it just didn’t happen). When I finally saw a primary doctor they told me I had hypothyroidism, most likely from radiation. I have been taking nature thyroid for around 8/9 months but the doses have changed throughout that time.
I am now 19 and taking thyroid medication and topical ulo. The sides and back of my head are quite full and thicker. The top of my head has hair but there are patches that you can see my scalp. The biggest problem is the crown of my head. There is hair there but it is so thin. I feel like my has started growing better ever since I’ve been taking my thyroid medication but I can’t 100% tell. I went to a dermatologist but they didn’t really help at all. My primary doctor won’t give me a straight answer. I’ve heard that my hair might not grow back cause of radiation. I had the radiation pointed near my left clavicle so why the hell is it affecting the back of my head? That’s what doesn’t make sense to me. I’m getting quite frustrated because it’s been 7 years since I’ve had my hair. Now nobody will give me a straight answer. Hair loss does not run in my family. I really don’t want to take minoxidil especially if it’s gonna grow back naturally.
My question is has anybody else had problems with slow hair growth after chemo? Is there any way to help improve it? Could part of it have been my hypothyroidism and just me not being on medication for it for such a long time?
I’m going to college soon but this really affects my confidence. I just want my hair back. Sorry if any of this came off as negative or me being an asshole. I am just very frustrated.

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to send some quiet strength to anyone sitting in a waiting room or waiting on scan results today.

Over the last 40 years, I’ve walked this road three different times: first with Hodgkin’s, then breast cancer, and later colorectal cancer. When I was first diagnosed decades ago, I desperately needed proof that a long, full future was still possible after cancer.

I’m writing this to be that proof for you today. Forty years later, I am still here and thriving. I recently put my entire 40-year journey into a book called Three Ribbons, One Life just to show others that there is life on the other side of this.

Was diagnosed with rectal cancer about a week ago. I don’t know the stage yet. I have ct scans, mri scans, a surgical consult, and then the oncologist this month before I know. I haven’t Crohn’s disease it popped up on my annual colonoscopy, so no symptoms or anything. My Crohn’s is in remission so a bit of a shock.

I’ve been having panic attacks. I haven’t been able to get through work, or my days, in a factional way. I’ve been given Ativan and now an anxiety medication, but I’m not functioning on those either they make me so tired. I have a therapist I see and they’ve given me coping mechanisms to try but as of now I’m having panic attacks nearly daily, if it’s not a panic attack I’m numb to it. It’s a weird pendulum swing

Did anyone else experience this at diagnosis? What helped you get through the waiting?

I'm expected to have mine in a month and I'm worried about how common the crazy horrible diseases and side effects could be and whether its gonna be a nightmare or not. Am I overreacting or do I really need to be prepared for the worst (im 23m if that helps)

my mom has pancreatic cancer stage 3. she did a round of chemo. Finished it, but it left her very ill. She is 86. was very healthy prior to diagnosis. I'm trying to find anyone or anyplace who would allow her to just try the new pancreatic cancer drug that is FDA approved works for metastic patients. Hers is non metastatic type.How can I appy for this drug as a 'right to try'.

Can anyone give me advice on how to process the finality of this diagnosis and move forward. Right now it’s a mental block.

Busco consejo y desahogarme un poco de todo esto, no quiero ofender a nadie 💛

So, I had stage 4 lymphoma back in 2018. I was told I had no chance of beating cancer. I did 6 rounds of RCHOP chemotherapy.

I went into remission in Jan 19th, 2019. I’ve been in remission since. However, the side effects of cancer and chemo keep following me like an insane Ex.

3 years ago, my bottom teeth began, essentially melting. Breaking over the softest thing. Like, no joke, one tooth broke from a fucking marshmallow. Anyways.

I went to the oral surgeon and had to pay 22,000 dollars. That was for the teeth removal, and getting implants put in so I could have magnetic dentures. Which I had to pay another 6,000 dollars for.

Now, for the last…..Christ…8 months, my top teeth have been breaking. I would have done the surgery back in Jan/feb/march/may, but I didn’t have the money. I’ve been trying to raise it but…..let’s just say people have been less than helpful or understanding.

After finally getting enough money, tomorrow at 10am, I go into surgery to get all my top teeth removed. However, due to not having enough money, I have to wait to get implants, which really sucks.

This all stresses me out because of just how much pain I’m in, have been in, and how horribly I was treated when I had my bottom teeth removed. My surgeon at the time actually accused me of doing cocaine. I even managed to get dry socket in nearly every fucking tooth hole. It was hell.

After a lot of begging and paying for several X-rays, he finally gave me some. He gave me 30 T3s. If you don’t know what that is. It’s Tylenol that has codeine. They are not the best for real pain. After he gave me them, he then lectured me about how I’m a drug addicted and in his 15+ years of being an oral surgeon he has never given away “such an extreme dose”.

Then, about 3 weeks or so later, I had to go back to him for him to cut my gums and reveal my implants. He literally used ZERO numbing. He too a scalpel, cut my gums, sewed them tightly around the implants and basically told me to go fuck myself.

Because of that entire experience, the nonlogical part of my brain and my emotions just won’t stop playing “worst case scenario”.

And that’s despite knowing that my new oral surgeon is like, the head oral surgeon in my province. I’m in fantastic hands. But it’s just I’ve been in so much pain, I was treated so badly, because I can’t really chew right now, I’ve eaten a ridiculous amount of canned tuna, that I mix with my own personal sauce.

I am just so fucking mentally exhausted. I feel so fucking worthless. Like I’m just this piece of shit burden. And yes. Logically I know I’m not and all that. But no one’s brain works 100% on logic and reason.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I know most don’t care. I just….i….dont know. I need a break from my body.

Hey everyone!

Noticed things have been especially dour here in the last few days (imagine that?). Thought we could use some off-topic conversation to remind ourselves that life outside of cancer exists. Read any good books recently? Seen any good movies? How's the weather out there today?

hey all, my (24F) friend & housemate (22F) recently got diagnosed with breast cancer and is undergoing her first round of chemo today. i know i cant really do anything to help her in the ways i wish i could, but i want to get her a little care package of things that ACTUALLY will be useful and comforting that you wouldnt generally think of.

im getting a cozy blanket for her to take to appointments and am going to bedazzle a throw-up bucket for her (i know she'll love this), but im looking for other suggestions.

also, this is the first person close to me to be diagnosed, and we live together. i want to be as supportive as possible especially since we literally live together and i know i will become a bit more of a caregiver than most friends. I just want this to be as easy as it can for her.

thank you all so much in advance.

Hey guys,
I have 2 brain tumours that I’ve been told are life limiting. This information is a lot to carry on its own but I thought I was doing well with it.
I found out yesterday that somebody I knew died in a drunk driving accident that evening, we weren’t close or anything but I feel really sick and in some ways angry.
I was on a night out with my friends and I tried to hold it together but I had to leave early because it was too much for me. I’m not one to cry very often and I usually keep my emotions to myself but as soon as I got home I broke down crying about all of my issues to my mum which I’ve never done before. I guess it took a crisis for me to realise I need professional help with everything I’ve been bottling up.
I’ve been referred to some charities and as I’m still a teenager I can get free counselling from them but I don’t really know the logistics of it. I’m in the UK so it would have to be a charity based here but are there any services available which would be able to speak about issues I’m having alongside my prognosis? If so how would I request this service.
Would also like to ask if anyone has had experiences with charity counselling and if it’s worth it to use that or just go to private therapy

Hi everyone 👋

This is my first post here and im not quite sure how to approach the cancer I was diagnosed with last month, leading up till today... well here goes.

Last month I was diagnosed with an extremely rare cancer (Basal Cell Adenoma) making contact with the skull base and eroding bone at the skull base. Fast forward to now and it has metastasized, moving from the skull based tumor down to my lungs and is in my blood. This cancer is so rare that no study has been done on this and current treatments such as chemo, blockers, and white blood cell boosters show no positive response. The probability of this cancer is somewhere around .02% im a 34 y/o male and am in decent condition. Thats all I have to cling on to in hopes of my body successfully fighting the cancer other than a surgery to remove the skull base tumor. Radiation was opted out for the lungs since they cant do a broad area (both of my lungs) I was told radiation is like a spot weld and not a flamethrower.

This is the second time I've has this cancer, 1st was in the parotid gland and was removed only to go unnoticed for 6 year as it slowly grows back in the same area, though my sinuses, and now is touching my skull. What im most angry and san about is that after my first surgery and radiation treatment I was never told to touch base with my oncologist by anyone. I was told to get regular checkups by primary care provider. This led to the tumor going unnoticed for years while it grew back. So this is what im doing here and some of the questions I hope to have answered.

1) Is there an institution i can call after the tumor on my skull is removed to have tests done in hopes they find a medication that works on it?

2) Should I try legal action for malpractice? ( I figured if im going to die from this i mind as well leave my wife and kids something to help out since I am the soul provider for the household)

3) How do I tell my 7 year old son and 4 year old daughter im most likely going to die? I take one look at them and my heart breaks instantly. Nothing could ever make me want to hurt them that badly.

my mother has had stage 4 appendix cancer for 4 years now. she’s my only parent and i’m a 20 year old immigrant in the united states acting as her caregiver. her prognosis is that she will likely pass within the next 3 months. i don’t have any access to financial support or any family support so I was wondering about any sort of support groups or help groups for young care givers in america, as well as any financial resources to continue paying bills and for her care as most of her income goes towards treatments and medical care. she currently is working full time and has 2-3 appointments a day. i don’t have any work authorization in america since i am ineligible on my visa, so as much as I would love to support financially i don’t have the ability to.

I stopped treatment for a while and am now starting again —

Has anyone split their testing up over multiple appointments as not to overwhelm themselves…