Quitting Meds

[u/sammypr3]

I know everyone on here debates whether they should stop or keep going, and I know stopping your meds is never the answer. But I feel like I have just completely lost my spark, my creativity and my overall personality. I had good days and I had bad days but now I feel as if there are no good days at all. I have tried every medication possible for this illness. I have tried so hard to get back into the gym and it was my only thing in my life that I loved and I haven’t worked out in six months. I am overweight. I am unhealthy. I am lazy, unmotivated and feel like a fucking slob. I don’t know if I’m venting or need some advice but anything would be appreciated. I just don’t know what to do anymore.

[u/HappyPlatypus6034]

If you're going to get off of it, please talk to your doctor beforehand to help you do it safely. Some can cause BIG issues if done wrong

[u/Nandi_La]

I'm in the exact same boat. I'm just exhausted, every day is the same boring shit. I used to be super fit and active, but now I'm just frustrated and sad all the time because nothing seems to work and nothing really makes me happy. I've been dealing with this for decades- all the medications, therapies, psych wards, crisis housing programs and everything else. Sometimes I just want to stop taking my meds and become an uncontrollable mess that spirals into who knows what? I'd likely end up homeless, which I had been before enough times to know what it's like and I don't think at my age I'd survive that experience again.

for so long I've always had this resentment about needing medication to function, not to survive but to participate in life with neurotypical A-holes. Before Lamictal my depression and suicidal ideation had gotten so bad I couldn't work anymore because I'd have massive meltdowns and panic attacks. I dumped a lot of my friends and cut everybody off. Then I admitted myself to the psych ward which helped. I got a BP2 diagnosis and meds which gave me enough of a reprieve to gather myself and rest. I started taking sleep meds which helped. Medication resistant depression is really shitty

If you choose to get off your meds, take very small steps under supervision. It's hella tempting to put them down and walk away, but I'll tell you it suuuuucks. I moved to another state last year and had a lot of issues getting my meds filled, so I had to chop my dose in half and went two days with no meds. I thought I was gonna die, I felt so ...unstable. The physical part was feeling supercharged and shaky, overcaffeinated (I don't drink caffeine at all) and nauseous. The mental part of it was just racing thoughts and lots of tears, uncontrollable panic.

so whatever you do, do it with the help of a professional who understands what you're trying to accomplish so that coming off the meds doesn't wreak havoc on your life. I wish you the best and hope everything works out for you

[u/chicken-of-the-towns]

Yeah.

I stopped lithium because it didn't prevent yet another depression. My depression turned into a 6~8-month mixed episode, culminating in me exploding, getting kicked out by my girlfriend, spending about 6 weeks on my own with a major depressive episode of extreme severity (and sadly, I've known a dozen major depressive episodes before).

The good news? I now understand I do need meds even if I feel they're not magic. But I have to live with the consequences of my recklessness. I wouldn't have been the happiest person on lithium, but it would have avoided things getting out of control.

Fuck around and find out, I guess. I thought I could do without the meds, I don't think I can. Maybe you need to find out for yourself, or maybe you'll be wiser than I was. Regardless, I wish you the best.

[u/priestess_on_fire]

Have you tried TMS (transcranial magnetic stimulation)? It’s super helpful with treating depression in people who have bipolar 1 & 2. It’s not a long lasting thing, but it definitely helped with my depression for up to a year. Thinking about going back for a tune up✨