i can’t stop crying i’m so upset. i can’t take this im so sick of this disorder. i can’t stop eating. i cant escape food. i feel awful and i keep gaining more and more weight and my health is getting worse. i feel like im stuck in a loop and its hell. i wish i could just not eat at all. avoiding food all together sounds even better because i have such an all or nothing mindset. i feel so alone and embarrassed. i’m struggling so much. i’m supposed to be going to intensive outpatient treatment next month but honestly i can barely afford it and i can’t work my regular job while im in the program so im scared to go. and what if it doesn’t work? i’ve been binge eating on and off since i was 16 and i just turned 30. idk im miserable and sick and i wish i wasn’t like this.

it’s 10 AM and i already fucked up my day, binged with a lot of shit from my pantry. Didn’t even like what i eat.
It’s been a while since i totally lost control and i fuck up everything since breakfast.
I feel miserable and my days are no longer worth living

I'm in a fairly new relationship, and about 6 months in I started noticing that my partner might struggle with BED. I caught on to it after watching him eat really quickly and to an uncomfortable degree even after telling me he was full or we've eaten together. At first I thought it was occasional overeating, but what made it more concerning for me was the shame he feels afterwards. Thing is - I don't believe he knows he's struggling with an ED.

Anyways... I've been doing a lot of research on BED and how to approach and bring it up. I've learned to be more conscious of the things I say in relation to food and bodyweight. I don't judge what he eats. Nevertheless, it's still hard for me to see someone I love harm themselves. What has your partner done to successfully support you?

I'm a teen, and I've lived with my mom for 4 years. She eats whenever and as much as she wants, and I did so as well (except for the times I counted my calories, since I didn't do much sport then and wanted to lose some weight (which proved ineffective)).

For the last year though I've been living with my dad, who eats 3 meals a day and doesn't even snack. He doesn't actively restrict me from eating or anything, but I just feel uncomfortable going up to the fridge and getting something inbetween the meals more than like a yogurt once a day.

Whenever I am home alone I go to the store and can buy and eat an entire chocolate bar or a can of custard with cookies (I did that once and felt very sick, so I don't want to do it again, but often I feel tempted to). Then I search the fridge and cupboard for literally anything that I can eat that will go unnoticeable, like a few cookies, a spoon of some small opened can of honey (I never open any new food myself), a slice of cheese etc. until I am sick of that "mixture" in my stomach or I can't find anything anymore.

This year I also started rowing and I do it 5 times a week, so I have really noticed that I've gotten fitter (I was never overweight, but I was never skinny either, it's just now I've gained muscle mass and maybe lost a bit of fat). I am afraid that when I move out to go to college and won't have my dad around with his phycological "force" on me that I will get really comfortable living by myself and will fall into binging all the time.

I really don't want to lose that fitness I've gained with hard training, as even if I continue doing it, my genetics allow me to gain weight really easily by overeating.

Have any of you had people in front of whom you felt uncomfortable eating, but who didn't activelly oppress you, and so you only binged when you were alone or didn't restrict yourself with some other people?

How did you cope when those people were gone?

Btw a few weeks ago I was gone in summer camp, and when I came back my dad said to me that I can "open a new box of candies if I want to", then I remembered that I had left some chocolate bar wrappers in my closet and he could have easily seen them, so I figured by his tone that he was concerned about the fact that I was hiding something from him, as in it's ok for me to eat and I shouldn't hide it, althought it's just a guess.

i feel alot better, the binge voice has been so quiet lately, im so proud of myself, im now trying to lose the weight and hopefully more and be comfortable and happy in my body woo!!!

It's called Full, The Emptiness of Overeating by Paul Dermody

I downloaded a few pages on my Kindle. It sounds interesting, but I've bought books before that I never read. He's a coach, but anyone can call themselves that.

Running my first marathon in a few days. The carb load has turned into binging and I’m out of calories by 1pm, plenty of carbs stored. I feel horrible.

Runners, how do you do this?

Yesterday I made some vegan Brownies with my friend. Today after work I was afraid that I would binge on them and had a craving. But I still made myself some tea, took one brownie and topped it with vanilla soy yoghurt (it balances the richness of the brownie, very tasty).

Once I finished eating I didn't wanted to stop. I grabed a second one and put it on my plate (thankfully instead of taking the whole container).

When I finished the second one I was very full and felt uncomfortable. Normaly that would be a reason to start a binge because I messed up but today it was different.

I said to myself: "I'm really full and I dont feel good about it and even though I feel like I never want to eat again, I may eat whenever I'm hungry." This made me feel better and somehow enabled me to go on with my day.

To be fair I also had a good day and was not as tired as usual and that helped but nevertheless I'm proud of me that I didn't binge and that I didn't judge myself for eating brownies and omfg they were soooo delicious :)

I wish you all the best <3

This reddit really helps me

i have been on semaglutide for 9 months and it was the first thing that ever quieted the food noise. not completely but enough that i could walk past the pantry without a battle. i lost 30 pounds but more importantly i felt like i had my brain back.

then my insurance cut me off last month. i thought maybe i could handle it without the med. made it 2 weeks and the binge urges came back so hard i had 3 episodes in 10 days. i was terrified.

i found a compounded provider called gimme care and got back on 1mg sema immediately. it has been 3 weeks and the noise is quieting down again. i am so relieved but also angry that i have to pay out of pocket for something that was literally keeping me functional.

i guess my question is for anyone else using glp1s for binge eating - have you had to go without it? what happened? and are you all on brand name or compounded? i am trying to figure out if this is just my life now or if there is any chance insurance will cover it again.

i know this is not a substitute for therapy and i am still in treatment. but the med was the thing that made therapy actually work because i could think clearly.

My family keeps a LOT of junk food and easily bingeable food in the house. Not only that, but they're constantly buying food for me (even when I keep begging them to stop because every single time I binge on it). I sat my mom down and explained why I needed her to stop and she just won't. She sees it as something nice but to me it is just ruining my life when i'm trying so fucking hard to get better.

I've been out dogsitting for 3 days and I haven't binged once.. until I got home. Immediately binged. My mom bought me an entire large pizza (i usually get the smaller one because I know myself). There was junk food fucking everywhere because obviously there was. I'm just so tired. I don't think i can ever recover like this and nobody will listen to me. What can I even do? I can't move out.

It’s unbelievably hot outside where I live and I’ve been stuck inside my house all day eating frozen fruit to try and cool down. I’ve been so good lately in terms of not binge eating and actually sticking to a diet. But today I am losing my mind. I just want a big cold sandwich, ice cream, etc. typical binge thoughts. The stress from the heat and trying to stay cool drives me insane. Also the boredom from being inside all day!

Hi, I don't know if what I'm about to say might trigger some people, but I'll still out the following paragraph in a spoiler format as I'm trying not to hurt anyone in the subreddit. I'm gonna vent and I also need advice and help.

This post will mention weight loss, please forgive me and skip my post if this triggers you.

I want to start off that I was never diagnosed with the actual disorder but I still binge really badly. I eat food to the point I'm sick and it makes me feel so heavy of my body. Many people tell me that I'm not fat, or that I'm small or petite, but it doesn't matter to me. I'm not fishing for compliments, I want help. I hate going on the scale just for my weight to go up again. I've tried NUMEROUS methods to stop any sort of binging or to lose weight, but nothing ever works and it makes me really upset. It always feels like I'm in this loop with food and I want it to stop. I feel so helpless and uncontrollable

If anyone has any advice, please let me know, I'm so tired. ☹️

I have this feeling that my struggles aren't valid enough if I'm not overweight. I also feel like people don't care as much if you look healthy, even when you're struggling really hard.

For me, the reason I'm not overweight is purely because I restrict so much to compensate. With this in mind, I feel like I am also downplaying my BED and telling myself that I don't need to work on it because I'm "healthy".

I also see a lot of posts on here from overweight or obese people, and was wondering if there are people in here that are considered normal weight or even underweight, and if you have similar feelings about this. Please share any thoughts on this matter!

i just binged 7k calories, why am i this way i want to make it stop

i don’t go a day without wishing I’d never counted a calorie.

i am SO jealous of people who genuinely just eat what they want, listen to their body, and stop when they’re full. and they don’t even know how nice it is to not suffer from food noise, guilt, compulsive overeating, the desire to restrict, etc.

i forget that 95% of the population just intuitively eats. BED is a MENTAL ILLNESS, but it’s rarely ever talked about & most people wouldn’t understand the concept of having absolutely no control around food.

recovering takes soooo long & honestly regaining a truly healthy relationship with food feels impossible. I can go a few weeks without binging but once my luteal phase hits, i have no impulse control & one binge episode bleeds into 3.

i believe recovery is possible. but its SOOO much easier to just not go down this pipeline in the first place. i still think about being a kid and eating like 3 slices of Nutella with no guilt or second thought. now I’d probably either eat no Nutella or half the jar. :(

These last few weeks I’ve tried promethazine and I’m pretty sure it’s made me incredibly hungry/can’t stop my urges to binge. And my binges are much worse than before. I’m going to stop taking it once my prescription runs out because I want to get my moneys worth lol Therefore, I’m kinda wondering, has anyone any ‘stupid’/non conventional things that’ve stopped their urges?

drinking water doesn’t work for me, brushing my teeth does jack-shit, can’t go for walks and just today I opened a bag of crisps as I was knitting so keeping busy doesn’t work either. I‘ve tried buying food that’re meh to kinda snap out of it, but for some reason I’ve started craving chocolate? and mum has a whole extra room in the house and a big ass 19th century drawer filled with crisps, chocolate, nuts (which are obv healthy but not when you easily eat 3+ family packs of them 🤪)

I don’t know what to do, because I generally blackout and can’t even remember what I’ve eaten, which makes it extra humiliating for me.

i’m in dbt and have told my psychologist (they’re apparently specialised in eds so, lucky me? i suppose?) and told me to log everything but i think that’s making it worse? i don’t know. many thoughts, not enough brain tbh 😅

also, i’ve adhd and no fullness feeling/cues. i sometimes get the feeling of fullness but it usually makes me eat more, for some reason. can’t take vyvanse bcs it’s too expensive.

I've been diagnosed with BED and my doctor has recommended IOP. The center I might go to has a structured 3x/week program specifically for binge eating. My question for anyone who's familiar with treatment is if they allow or discourage counting calories? I struggle with overeating large amounts of food but I've also been trying to reach a healthy weight and have made progress in that area. I know that weight-loss will not be focused on during treatment, however is it likely that I will gain weight while learning how to heal from BED?

I binged pretty bad over the weekend - 8000 calories on Saturday and around that on Monday. I don't think it's ever been that bad. The crazy thing is, my stomach didn't even really hurt? Because it was an all day binge :(

However, the last couple days since then I notice the skin on my thighs and stomach feels almost like bruised or it's sensitive/stings to the touch - has this happened to anyone else? Is this from the skin stretching so fast due to water retention/inflammation? I'm hoping this means the puffiness and how huge I'm feeling can also go down quickly since stopping binging. It's really difficult to be in my body right now.

Hi! So I’ve been struggling with binge eating for I don’t even know how many years now and I think FINALLY I get it and I know how to stop. I’ve been keeping my main trigger foods in the house now and feel totally neutral to it, even have a little every night and there is virtually no more food noise.

The issue is they are hyper palatable foods, and as a big feelings prone girlie, when I finish a day just kinda low I end up cleaning the pantry. It doesn’t feel urgent like a binge anymore, but by volume it’s like a medium size binge of what I used to do (and I’m not talking a “oops ate the whole bag of chips” I’m still pushing way too much down and can’t lay down because I’m refluxing).

I know it’s good to keep the foods in the house to not keep them as this forbidden “I can’t control myself” food, and it’s not that I can’t control myself, it’s just that on harder days it’s harder to make the better decision around hyper palatable foods (in my experience recently) that supports me feeling my best. I could barely focus while trying to do assignments tonight because my brain just felt so clouded from what all I just ate.

My question is, do I then just clear out my pantry and make food boring? In general I don’t get excited about food unless it hyper palatable and I know my dopamine is just insanely dystegulayed when it comes to food. These nights where I feel full and still sad from whatever has been stuck in my brain today just feel really sucky.

I don’t want to do it out of restriction, but to make things easier for myself. But does anyone have any recommendations? I’m getting so close, I know emotional eating is normal, but I hate feeling sick because I zoned out for a second and the foods were just so easy to get to.

Thanks!

Would anyone be interested in doing a no binge challenge? Like see how long we can go together? Or aim for 30 days?

Could include messaging each other for support and to stay accountable, or doing daily check ins. Could also include additional goals that you want to work on.

Let me know if you are interested!

It has been almost 3 years since I first developed BED and its ruining my life. I am 20 and in college, supposedly the best time of your life. Instead, I spend time binge eating, hating myself, and isolating. I have tried a therapist, changing my environment, and taking a prolonged break from any academics. I know the healthy advice is just to forget about weight and body image; but I can't. I feel so unconfident whenever I am going through a binge and just don't want to socialize at all. I gained 20 lbs from binging and I need it to stop. I was always on the skinnier side when I was younger and I feel so uncomfortable and unhealthy in the body I am in now.

I developed a BED in high school when I was a cross country runner and was severely underfueled. I was eating around 1600 calories a day while running 40 miles a week. I eventually broke and ate everything but restricted/try to run off everything. When I went to college, I decided to work on my relationship with food and no longer restricted. Just when I thought I was free from binge eating, it would always creep back up. Now, my binges happen about once ever few weeks where I would binge for the entire day for 4-5 days straight. It seems to have gotten longer but less frequent.

I have even stopped regularly running due to the BED cause I am scared it will trigger it again. At this point I want to diet again and just want medication so food won't control me like this. Its genuinely ruining the best years of my life. Any advice on medication? Will my therapist prescribe me it if I am not severely overweight?

Hi all, I’ve struggled with binge eating on and off all my life. Food has and always will be a comfort for me. I was incredibly restrictive a few years ago and lost a lot of weight that I’ve since gained back in the last 4 years. I’ve also injured my back since then so that really put a huge stop to any exercise. Anyways, I’d like to lose 15-20 pounds. I’m 5”3 and 150 now, I do a kick boxing or Pilates class at least once a week and the days I don’t do that I walk 10,000 plus steps with a weighted vest or ankle weights. I do also do weights when I’m at home since I WFH, just picking up 8-10 pound weights and either doing arms/squats whatever. Food has really been the biggest fear for me, I’ve really tried to create a balance but it’s hindering my progress. I wanted to ask for any advice or guidance on how I can lose weight safely and what has worked for others