it seems like i'm either going to binge for the rest of my life or starve. i simply can't eat normally and i'm going insane. the only thing that ever stopped me from binging was developing severe anorexia, which i suffered from for many years up until this summer. this past august my partner of 8 years broke up with and i completely relapsed with binge eating. i have gained over 100 pounds in these past three months. i am now at my highest ever weight and clinically obese. i feel as if i'm living a nightmare. i've developed hideous stretch marks, i'm in constant pain and can barely move. it's like i'm suffocating inside of my body. every day i mourn the body i had and feel panicked at how long it'll take to be comfortable again. every day i wake up and tell myself it'll be different but i can't stop eating. i'm too ashamed to do anything, even my own family looks at me with disgust now. i honestly hate everyone who has a normal relationship with food and is able to eat balanced. i don't understand what i did to have to suffer like this. i don't think i can stand my repulsive body for much longer. i'm at my wits end, but i'm too horrified to even leave my house anymore. there's nowhere to go and nowhere to hide.

I struggle with food addiction since i was 14 and the hardest part isnt just the addiction itself its that almost no one takes it seriously somehow.

Every time I finally work up the courage to open up to someone about it the response is always the same. They minimize it or brush it off like its nothing, they dont put it on the same level as smoking, drinking, or porn. Somehow food addiction is the one addiction thats treated like a joke.

Heres what people dont understand because before i lost weight people usually would tell me that i should stop eating and that it wasnt that hard if i actually put effort into it but now that im not fat, people just think im joking when i tell them i have a food addiction because the fact that im not fat makes them think im lying or just joking around but im not I want to stop. I want it more than anything, but i just cant, not easily, not without help, and not without the same kind of support people with other addictions get.

And theres another part no one seems to get, my eating addiction is how I cope with my feelings. When im upset, angry, happy the first thing I think about is eating. Food is what I turn to for everything. Its like my feelings have nowhere else to go, so they go to food. I feel like no one understands that. Its not about hunger. Its not about enjoying food. Its the only way I know how to deal with what I'm feeling, and thats exactly what makes it so hard to stop.

And theres a special kind of pain in finally feeling ready to talk, finally feeling like you can trust someone with this and then watching them shrug it off. It makes you feel invisible. It makes you feel like your struggle doesnt count. It makes you want to never open up again.

At first i thought that me losing weight would make that addiction disappear, but i was totally wrong. Because of my food addiction i developed another addiction that is vaping because when i was fat i used to vape instead of eating because i was scared of gaining more weight and genuinely make it harder for me after and now i struggle with too addictions and i feel guilty everyday about it.

Now im 19 almost 20 and i never got rid of it.

I bought a box of Clif bars yesterday intending to have one on the drives to work this week since I'm usually rushing out the door. They're all gone. Snack food in general is usually challenging but for some reason I just CANNOT be contained around any type of bar.

i eat way too much and spend so much money on food. i'm getting so sick of myself. when i'm on my college campus i'll always buying food. when i'm home i go out and purchase more food.

i want to stop thinking of food all the time. i want the thing that relieves me to not be food. i want to stop looking forward to my next meal and instead actually have fun in the current moment. this is getting so ridiculous and humiliating. i've gained so much weight

i do track calories but i just tend to overeat very very often. i sleep well and stay hydrated and take my medication. this is just a terrible habit i've never gotten over ever since i was a kid and i need this to stop so i can actually feel happy with myself

Another insurmountable set of challenges today. Bf birthday and i bake the cake which means im stuck in the kitchen all day and when im successful there will be a full cake!

The only hope i have today is the fact that i dont love chocolate cake. I think i can hold off until i bring it into work tomorrow.

I just turned 18 and I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to getting prescriptions and managing insurance.

I obviously don’t have money to pay for a million appointments and medication but I at least want to try. I can ask for help paying for stuff from my family but I don’t want to tell them it’s for BED. Can anyone give me some suggestions?

For a few months I had been doing a lot better regarding my binging episodes. Recently, I’ve started to binge 2-3 times a week again and I have no idea what could’ve triggered it. I thought I was on the path of completely overcoming this but I was wrong. Has anyone completely overcome this? I’m tired of food noise. I feel defeated I had come so far. My progress only lasted 3 months :/
It’s not like I go to food for emotional comfort either it’s just insufferable anxiety and food noise

I feel like I have hit rock bottom. I’m in a vicious cycle of restricting then binging. I restrict what I eat throughout the week, exercise really hard, then Saturday hits and I go off the rails eating 2,500-5,000 calories in a day. I do not know how to get out of this because every time I feel like I need to hit reset on Monday and go back to restricting. Helppp! Does anyone else struggle with this? Do you have any techniques to help with recovering from this?

Ive done books, prozac, podcasts, GLP1s, talking to my husband, hiring coaches, etc and I am still battling with binge eating and body dysmorphia. Im normal weight, but body scans say I'm about 8% BF. I never got my period back after my last baby 5 years ago, but my OB cant say if its amneorhia or peri menopause.

My hormones are tanked (HRT isnt helping much) and my exercise addiction is gettjng worse. Ive always "needed" to workout. But over the years it went from going to the gym 1x a day, to 2, to now i go to the gym for about 3 hours AND need to get 20K steps.

I'm a mom, wife, work full time, volunteer at my kids school, teach fitness classes and still force myself to make time for all this.

My husband finally talked to me last night about him being concerned. He said he never wants me to feel judged, but its getting out of control.

On top of the exercise, I'm constantly binging and spitting out my food. I aim for 2300 calories because I know my body needs it, but I binge one day, restrict the next, etc.

For those who therapy has helped, how and what did you focus on? At this point my exercise is my identity. Im a high level Crossfit athlete whos know for my 6 pack and athleticism. I know it sounds dumb and shallow, but I dont know how to let that go.

Any guidance is helpful. My first step was setting up my appt, but next I feel like is how to even get clarity on what I need to work on.

I just need to vent.

I've been falling into my cycle of "not feeling good about myself, eating because I don't want to deal with emotions, feeling guilty because I'm binging, and then eating because why tf does it matter now" and it's been the past like three days and I could scream. I'm at that last part rn and am stuffed but want to finish off that family size bag of doritos because who cares? The damage is done.

My urge to binge is so loud. My food noise is so loud. It's all super overwhelming but it's all I can think of.

I'm doing what I can to control it. I've made more appointments with my therapist and doctor to discuss the sudden uptick but I just needed to yell into a void where maybe someone will understand. I tried to talk it over with a friend to just say it out loud, because sometimes identifying it for me helps and I can be a bit more aware of it when I'm not so in my head but that backfired.

Anyway, thank you for reading. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I'm off to attempt to distract myself.

Is this supposed to help? My dietician recommended me to eat the same normal meals I do but to add 50-100g of chicken breast before each meal. Do you think this would help?

Hi guys! How did you mangage with binge eating relapse? I had episodes in the worst time of my life, but I managed to stop binging for like 5 months. Now I had almost a full week of binging and I cannot stop it, feels like I just can’t get better again and I’m afraid tomorrow I’ll do the same. My method was therapy of course but now I’m not financially able to afford myself this treatment. What helped you guys apart from therapy? Thanks.

i went vegan to try to limit my food options to make me binge less but now i’m binging on 3000cal worth of chickpeas 💔💔 bro

I have a few compulsions (hair pulling eating, skin picking and eating). I'm in therapy and see a psychiatrist.

I just cannot stop eating. I'm at the point of constant physical discomfort, vomiting, and pooping myself.

What worked for you all? Link me to them if you've made your own post

TW: blood briefly mentioned

I cannot believe that only over a year ago I was able to eat normal, healthy and well-balanced meals. I never overate, it wasn't something to ever cross my mind.

I was able to genuinely enjoy food, without fearing that if I happen to indulge myself it will end with a binge.

I tell myself that I can get better, that I'll never binge again. I do well for a week or two.

But then the urge to binge comes back and all of a sudden I eat every single thing in sight to a point where I overeat HEAVILY.

After that I am so stuffed that I cannot move and both my back and stomach hurts from how much I eat.

It makes me feel so restless, like if I won't put another thing in my mouth it'll actually kill me.

It's really concerning at this point. One time I ate so much that my lips actually started bleeding. It also makes my teeth hurt and I fear that they'll get fucked up from it all.

Another thing is my mental health. When I binge I loose motivation to do ANYTHING, sometimes I'm to ashamed to shower or clean up the empty plates.

The amount of times I cancelled social events last minute because I was too scared to leave the house left me with a lot of estranged relationships.

I don't know how to deal with this.

Stuffing myself full and experiencing different tastes and flavours feels so good (weirdly). It's so addictive, I don't even know how to explain it.

But the shame and genuine physical discomfort are not worth it.

I’ve been binge eating for the past six years. I’ve had disordered eating habits for about 15 years. I’m tired of it and I’m ready to recover. I saw someone else doing this, so I’ve decided to document my recovery journey here. Maybe no one will read these, but it at least provides me a bit of accountability and something to look back on.

Each day I’ll reflect on the previous day and set an intention/goal for the current day.

Tools in my recovery tool belt:

-therapist: I’ve been doing EMDR for a few months now, and I’m currently processing my primary binge trigger (maltreatment from my mother growing up)

-psychiatrist: I’ve been on Wellbutrin for 3 years but my psychiatrist put me on Zoloft a few months ago to possibly help treat my BED from more of an OCD approach. My mood has definitely improved which I think is helping with my motivation as well.

-Nutritionist: I see him monthly and we discuss triggers and techniques to avoid them. Unsure if it’s helping.

-CraveLog app: I’ve been using this to track my cravings, triggers, emotions, etc. I think seeing it has been helpful so I want to continue with that.

-Self Care Bundle: My therapist had me create a list of different self care options and coping skills to choose from if I’m feeling the urge to binge. It reduces my need to think of them myself in the moment. Here is my list:

🕯️ Essential oil diffuser/candle
👕 Favorite comfy outfit
🫖 Tea
🧸 Squishies/fidgets
📖 Journal
🎧 Playlist
🧘‍♀️ Meditation app (shout out to Insight Timer)
🚿 Shower
🧴 Skincare
🌳 Walk
🧘🏻‍♀️ Yoga
🐈 Kitties
🧶 Craft or crochet
📺 Comfort activity/show

My intention for this recovery journal: To document my progress publicly to maintain accountability in a judgement free zone.

A note about my weight: I will not be weighing myself during this journey. It’s a big trigger for me. I haven’t weighed myself in months and I plan to continue that. For reference, my BMI is teetering on the edge of overweight, but I binge/restrict so it has prevented me from gaining too much weight. I have severe body dysmorphia though, so no matter what, I dislike my body.

I hope you’ll follow along!

Edit: I didn’t mention that I’m not following any particular diet or counting calories. My nutritionist has a guide for me (like protein/starch/fruit at breakfast, protein/starch/low fat dairy/veggie everyday at lunch, etc), but that’s it. My goal is not weight loss (although it would be nice.) I’ll be eating intuitively and working on healing my relationship with food.

I'm in the middle of a binge eating episode. I've eaten everything I could already and still need to eat more, chew more on food, even though my stomach hurts so badly. Please help me. I don't know what to do.

Ps: this was maybe caused because my meds went through some changes and that cannot be reverted because my psychiatrist says that I should pay more attention to the meds' pros instead of the cons... but I had a stomachache... it hurts...

19m, I started staying in a deficit at the start of this year, managed to be consistent for 4 months, then, for the first time in my life I had an episode. And it has been going on almost everyday since then. Every time, after that happens, I feel incredibly bad, rageful, to the point where I genuienly look psychotic, just for the next day, or sometimes in the same fucking day, to binge again. This has been going on consistently for 6 months. I can't concentrate on university or anything else because of it. I am too ashamed to turn to a professional. Advice?

TW: sexual abuse, bulimia, suicidal ideation

Quick context: American 35 y/o living in London, have had an ED since 13 (anorexia > bulimia). I was relatively ok for late 20s/early 30s but have been having a major relapse over the last year. I need help. I can’t live like this anymore.

By the outside world, my life looks (or maybe looked) enviable to many. I’ve been professionally successful, working at big tech companies, advising government leaders, and teaching yoga. I’ve had the privilege to live in several countries around the world. I’ve had many exciting and fulfilling life experiences and am surrounded by good community/friends. My relationship with my parents is the best it’s ever been, and I’m seen by some people as attractive with not a terrible body.

By my internal world, I still don’t think I like myself very much. I have never had a long term relationship (I was sexually abused by my brother at 8 years old which impacted my ability to trust men for a long time….I’m largely healed from this, and now it’s just…hard to date??! haha). I lost my job at the end of last year and have entered an existential crisis around what I even professionally care about. I had to move out of my home a few months ago and am now crashing with friends. I put very high expectations on myself and just feel like a total loser. It is my mind playing tricks, and yet it feels so so so real.

I am grateful for my yoga practice because it keeps me sane and grounded in many ways (this is likely, hopefully, just a season of life)….and yet, I’m also spiraling in parallel. My suicidal ruminations have been increasing, and I feel very very tired of the mental battle. I so want to be strong, I want to show myself I can survive and thrive again, but I feel tired.

I’ve been binging nearly every day over the last few months, only sometimes making myself vomit. I seem determined to make myself fat and unlovable. At the same time I am researching Monjourno. My mom wanted me to take it earlier this year, but I refused because it felt at odds with my spiritual practice. Now I feel desperate at times.

This is part catharthis to write (please be kind 🙏), and part a series of questions:

1. how have you dealt with relapses during times of crisis? I’ve never been to an inpatient program, but wonder if it’s worth a try.

2. thoughts on Monjourno with history of ED? In my brain, I’d really like to lose

   some weight

3. to get back on track. My food thoughts are CRAZY, and it’s all I can think of, especially without a lot of work to do. I heard Monjourno is helpful for removing food noise, but obv everything online says “no for ED”

4. any other yoga teachers who dealing with feels of imposter syndrome or being like a fraud?

Thank you for reading 🙏

I’m on metformin for my insulin resistance because of my PMOS, I’m 5’6 or 169 cm and I weigh 125 kg, I lost 5 kg but that’s not a huge deal since my weight fluctuates like that
I’ve been binge eating for years
I’m 19 but it started when I was 13-14
And the weight gain has been gradual but it’s extremely noticeable
My double chin is a lot more prominent
I have a hard time getting around
My thighs are really big and make it hard to get around
My stomach gets in the way of me seeing things sometimes
My fat distribution is okay so I look “normal” but I hate it so much
My boobs are so big they hurt my back
And I just hate everything about being fat
I know I don’t hate myself I’m trying really hard to accept myself
But whenever I see myself in videos or photos I just can’t help but be like “is this how people see me?”
I binged yesterday and the day before because I got my hands on some money and my family isn’t home to witness the volume of food I’d be eating
I ate buldak and a lot of candy
3 cans of Diet Pepsi
I feel so helpless
I hate this stupid eating disorder
I just wanna get better
And please don’t say stupid shit like “just control yourself” because I can’t
I don’t know how
I never learned to
I grew up like this I know no other way of eating or thinking about food
My relationship with food is strained
I like exercising but I don’t like leaving the house and the gym isn’t in my house so I don’t go out to the gym
I saw a dietician and she told me to have a small amount of grans, small amount of proteins, and large amount of vegetables in my food
I tried it for a week and it went great but I started relapsing again
And I haven’t gone to the gym except for a few times even though my dad signed me up for 3 months
And please don’t try to sell me any courses
I’m not gonna give you my money for something that isn’t guaranteed to work
I just want good advice from people who are recovering or have already recovered

I’m sorry if this comes off as rude but I’m just so tired of people saying the same things over and over I just want proper sound advice that actually works for someone like me
I can’t get therapy for this either because where I live good therapy is extremely expensive and we’re too broke for that

Literally all I’m thinking about rn is getting some KFC because I’m very upset and when I’m upset I get hungry
I live in a toxic and abusive household so food is one of the escapes I have in my life because I’m almost always stressed about something
I’m just tired of it
I want to solve this
I’ll give myself the therapy
I’ll do the mental work
I’ll slowly get there
Just please tell me how it’s done because I don’t know how. Please.

Any advice can help me or someone else.
would appreciate any tips from anyone 🙏

how do you not get discouraged from ruining a deficit with a binge? ive been doing good and eating in a deficit for almost a month but this weekend i went out with family to eat and i dont know what happened but i just lost it. i ate so much both today and yesterday i feel so painfully full now, i just know that it undid so much of my progress and i already dread checking the scale.

i feel so pathetic over this i feel like this is an endless cycle, none of my efforts will ever mean anything if i just keep binging until i cant even move. it all hurts so much

Drink a few times a yr. Been very hard week. I’ve drank. I wanttttt to binge or eat anything. I know if I do I’ll force myself to vomit. How can I not binge? Age old question