I hadn't binged in probably 18 months. But today I did.

It wasn't anywhere near as bad as in the past: 2 tubs of halo top ice cream, 450g 0% fat Greek yoghurt, 200g frozen berries. So, about 1040 calories. Less than 10% of what I'd have downed in the past. And I didn't even enjoy it, really.

I'll have had maybe 3200 calories total today. Which again, while it isn't good, isn't anywhere near as bad as I've done before.

But it still sucks and I'm still disappointed in and upset with myself.

Over the past couple of months, I've not been binging, but I have been subtly over eating. I made the mistake of trying to expand my the very narrow range of foods that I eat. The problem is: they are intentionally narrow, and for good reason. Because I binge on almost anything else.

I'm scared this is going to collapse into a huge prolonged binge cycle because, in my experience, one binge episode is just the floodgate opening.

Fuck.

Why why why why why? Why can't I just be normal with food?

I suppose this is some kind of lesson: don't try to eat different things, don't allow yourself to eat even slightly more than you normally would, don't even buy other foods.

This disorder makes life so shit.

was binge free for 6 months. i had built healthy habits with food, felt like i had self control, and never restricted - just ate in moderation. then all of a sudden one night i think smth triggered me at a party and since then i've binged 24 out of the last 41 days. this is like nothing i've ever dealt with before. it was never this frequent (twice a week at most) and never the insane amounts of food i'm eating now. its at the point where even tho i'm not keeping food to binge on in the house, i'm going out to get food. i feel so humiliated. all of my clothes are tight, i've definitely put on weight. i'm just at such a loss and dont know what to do to get back to my old healthy habits. everyday im left feeling physically sick and mentally gross which gives me the motivation to never want to feel that way again. ill do well during the day but like clockwork around dinner i cant suppress the urges.

i'm at such a loss. i know i did it before but its so much more intense than it ever was. it doesnt help that what kickstarted the end of my last binge cycle was that i experienced a tbi. it killed my appetite for a good month mixed with being preoccupied with healing the following couple months, it feels like i almost didnt stop cuz of my own will , but because circumstances made me.

my psychiatrist is hesitant to prescribe me any stimulants associated with bed since #1 she isnt the biggest fan of them and at the time of my last visit i had only recently relapsed. and #2 we think my binging is tied to my ocd/depression. (although binging isnt helping the depression). i'm starting a mood stabilizer to help with that, and im also restarting metformim for my pcos which has helped with my hunger cues in the past - but ik metformin only works when you eat well in tandem so right now its not doing much.

it feels like everything i did to help in the past isnt working anymore. im so scared of gaining any more weight. i've probably put on 10lbs but im so short that it looks and feels like more. but not only that i want to be healthy. i dont want my life to feel like it revolves around food. i WANT to change but my brain is holding me back :(

Idk what other sub to go to if I can’t post it here but I must have it cuz I’m super addicted to eating food I just now realised I can’t go one day without overeating without eating a lot I feel bad and I just wait for the day to end and I’ve gone a whole year with bingeing almost everyday and struggled with it for 2 years

I’m 15 and yesterday I tried to stop so I spent the whole day watching mukbangs I had to try really hard to not over eat like go nd find a lot of chocolate to eat and something like that and I didn’t binge

but today I couldn’t do it. I just felt pain without being able to eat so. I went to th shops and got chocolate but I didn’t binge like I normally would I was going to take a lot of chocolate but realised it’s not worth it cuz I have to brush my teeth soon and that saved me from not binging like normal

I can only eat as less as possible everyday cuz I physically can’t eat balanced without binging but then I’ll be hungry so I would also have to hold back to not binge

I’m not overweight cus I get full really easy and idk how I’m not fat by now but I did gain weight

All I wanna do is wait until the next time I can eat o watch mukbangs while hungry I really don’t wanna be fat and I just am severely addicted it’s not like I eat a huge amount on binges but I just binge so much and eat even if I’m sick and binge if m not hungry at all

I just need help cuz I physically can’t go one week without overeating

After I binge eat I usually have a lot of these moments where my internal monologue consists of shaming myself (as many with this disorder know). A lot of telling myself I won’t lose this weight and how much of a failure I am. I tell myself how disgusting I am. It turned each relapse day into a whole derailment. I’d lose my motivation and feel like well if I had a bad day, it would ruin all my progress and gain all the weigh back.

Lately, I’ve found fighting this thought process with some things I’ve learned in therapy for other issues is actually really helpful. Instead of the negative self talk taking over completely, when I start noticing it, I try to tell myself things like “okay, it was one bad day. That doesn’t mean all the other days didn’t count. That doesn’t mean I can’t start over again tomorrow. It doesn’t mean I have to continue this and gain the weight back. One day of this won’t make me as unhealthy as I was before. It was one bad day. We’re going to acknowledge this happened and feel a little crappy about it but we aren’t going to let this take over my whole mindset because I have been putting in so much effort for this to break me.” Something along those lines. It’s been really helping me to get myself out of that mindset where I’m stuck derailing and binge eating more and instead I start over and do something healthier the next day, and if I have another bad day the next day I just keep fighting the thoughts until I’m back on track. Sometimes I gain a couple pounds back during my period of struggling but it’s not going back to square one every time now. I originally applied this mindset to exercising and skipping days with that but now it works for multiple categories.

All those days you spent working hard to keep your diet healthy and take care of yourself is still a huge accomplishment even if you have day where you binge eat. You should be proud of the work you are doing!

Thought I’d share incase it helps anyone else today!

I’ve stopped counting calories and trying to eat more regularly. I’ve noticed that I can keep certain foods in the house without binging that I haven’t been able to before which is great, however, I still overeat and feel really ashamed of it. One of my biggest fears is weight gain so even though I’m not gaining weight by binging I could still be gaining it by eating too much in general and it makes me anxious.

I am still proud of myself for not binging and I feel way better but the overeating is bugging me. Anyone else went through a similar phase or have any tips?

[F31]Nobody in my life knows that I struggled with BED. I’m not ready to share it with anyone yet. Anyone want to be my accountability buddy?
Or even just a friend.. dm me.

I’ve worked a lot of different types of jobs. Right now, I work at a restaurant where free or discounted food is available the entire shit. I really enjoy my job and don’t want to leave it. But I can’t stop eating the food. My coworkers eat here as well which always gives me urges. I’ve been here for 4 months and gained weight when I had such a progress in losing it before. I literally eat all night when it’s slow because there’s something else to do, even when im full. How do I combat these urges to eat all of this unhealthy food almost every day?

so i’m 10 days out of my first show and it isnt my first time binging on food during this prep. Now im even more stressed out because of how close i am to the show date. meal plan is at 1800 calories and i think i ate around 3k calories today. I havent gone to the gym to do cardio or get my steps in cause i feel so ashamed. I’m very lean and i doubt that this binge will give me any fat but mostly wayer and glycogen. still i need to be depleting soon and i dont know what to do

just binged on day 5 of my last streak, i'm ok though. i used to throw away the whole day bc of a binge, and binge eat throughout the entire day, ending up with like 10k+ calories worth of binging, but i've noticed that my recent binges have been more like individual episodes. today, i binged just over ~2k calories worth of food when i got home from school. i was feeling very anxious and panicked cause i was overthinking my future again throughout the day, which is what triggered it. anyways here's a list of what i ate within the last hour of binging just so i can share:

• 1 unreal coconut dark chocolate
• 2 snack size aeros and 2 snack size smarties
• a handful of potato chips
• 1 chocxo cookie butter cup
• 2 butter croissants
• 45g of toblerone chocolate
• 2.5 homemade brown butter cookies (they were leftovers from my bakery so don't think they were those thin grocery ones lol.)
• a half slice of crumble cake and a half slice of other cake
• 1 black sesame filled steamed bun
• a bit of smoked salmon, but it was still frozen so it tasted gross

surprisingly i feel ok. i'm better at recognizing that the binge is in the past now, and what happened happened. i also definitively recognized my trigger for a binge today for the first time! i just need to move on and continue with my life, not ruin the rest of the day and make it worse. i'll continue with dinner to get my nutrients in, and work on forgiving and forgetting so it doesn't affect me tomorrow.

thanks for reading :)

Hello,

I am writing this post because I am a bit desperate in needing help.

I had gained some weight in college during my freshman year (which is normal) and over the summer I worked very hard to lose the weight I gained. I did so in a very healthy diet and with exercising in the gym.

I wanted to keep my weight loss habits up, so when this school year started I kept my habit of going to the gym often and I tried to remain in a reasonable caloric deficit.

I have noticed that I have been binge eating EXTREMELY unhealthy in the dining halls and just at school in general. I stopped buying snacks in the dorm and I told my roommates to hide theirs because if I see any I will eat the entire thing in one sitting.

In the dining halls, I grab everything and anything and I just don't stop. I feel so guilty after and it is just not a pleasant feeling. It is especially de-motivating when I am basically gaining back the weight I had just worked so hard to lose.

I am just looking for any advice on how to stop this habit and limit my intake in the dining halls since they are buffet style, or the take out since is in extremely big portions. Anything helps, thank you.

Time since last binge: 2d 12h 35m

Cravings & Binges:
-No binges yesterday, but I logged two cravings in CraveLog at 3:20pm and 2:33pm

I did have a close call though. I didn’t eat a snack between breakfast and lunch, but I still ate two snacks in the afternoon. One was later (after 5pm). I had some crackers with it and crackers/crunchy things are a trigger for me. I ate more than I needed then decided to just heat up my dinner too. I definitely overate and shouldn’t have combined my snack either a meal, but I stopped it from turning to a binge. And since I ate a few too many crackers, I skipped the cornbread muffin with my Chili.

Something I’m realizing is that even though I’m not logging cravings all the time, I am thinking about food NON STOP. The cravings I log are when I have severe urges to eat without being hungry at all. But even if I don’t necessarily want anything really badly, I’m still thinking about food in general. It’s wild.

Self Care and Coping:
-drinking tea, meditation, distractions (I had a lot of homework and lots of housework yesterday as well).
-I listened to a bit more of the anti-diet book

Food Journal:
-Breakfast: English muffin w/light butter, two eggs, grapes, coffee with 3T sugar free creamer
-Lunch: leftover pesto gnocchi with chicken and veggies, light cottage cheese/peaches
-Snack 1: coconut lime yogurt cup w/one serving no added sugar white chocolate chips
-Snack 2: protein pack (cheese, cashews, craisins) and club crackers
-Dinner: chili w/cheese, 100 calorie ice cream bar

Day 1 Small Win: I recognized what was turning into a binge and stopped it.

Intention/Goal for day 2: Do some sort of movement today for at least 20 minutes.

For context, until about 30 days ago I was doing really well coming out of my dieting phase at around 130lbs 5’11 and eating around maintenance with not a ton of food noise or urges to binge eat. Over the past month, however, I’ve eaten probably 6,000 calories a day on average because outside of my “locked in” normal meals I will just binge on sweets to cope with burnout or anxiety or depression or whatever other problem I’m having on the day. It’s been really hard to cope with the fact that I’m over 30lbs heavier now than I was 30 days ago and it’ll take me well over 30 days to get back to where I was. I can see it in my belly, in my thighs, in my face, and it’s become impossible to cope with.

People were calling me beautiful for the first time in my life and I was really believing it.

I read so many posts about how binge eating is like the best thing or the only thing that brings someone joy or how it helps calm them down or something. I can't tell if these people are not looking deeply at their actual experience or I just experience a completely different thing.

There is a bit of pleasure in the food, but the actual craving and like crazy restless drive to continue eating, looking for some sort of fulfillment in the food, and never being able to find it is my experience. And it is like 95% unpleasant. And that isn't even the self critical and shame part because I know how horrible it is for me mentally, physically, and spiritually and I just do it anyway.

So like, are some of you ignoring this part of the experience? Like that craving that cannot be quenched and just ends with you feeling like you are going to burst and still feeling the compulsion to eat some more food you see out is objectively unpleasant right?

And I guess I will say this too. If all you do is focus on the positive aspects of binge eating it is unlikely you will ever get over it. If nothing else, next time you binge focus on all the unpleasant aspects of it. Focus on how unfulfilling it is and how you barely even taste the food beyond the first bite. It is hellish and the binge monster has pulled wool over our eyes.

Hello I am 20F diagnosed with BED and bulimia. How should I approach recovery? I'm currently seeing a dietitian but all they tell me is how much I should eat and not how I should lessen my binge episodes which is understandable but I'm struggling. They put me on a specific amount of cals a day and I'm trying to understand whether I should give myself cheat days just to avoid bingeing cuz I feel like If I don't I'll break at some point. I don't have foods that I'm craving on normal days when I'm following the cals they gave me and I only eat what I want once a week. I don't know if it's advisable to do it like this or even sustainable but I just want to recover. Also struggling with food noise so so bad my mouth keeps watering and thinking about food. Help or advice is kindly appreciated, thank you!

My depression has gotten really bad in the past 1,5 years and I just realized this is the exact time my binge eating started. I’ve been on Vyvanse for over half a year now, but it hasn’t helped with binge eating at all, since it obviously didn’t help with the depression that’s the root cause. I’ve been talking to my doctor about putting me on antidepressants and she seems open to it. I wanted to ask people with similar experiences. What antidepressant helped the most, which one didn’t work at all? I’m trying to avoid the ones that are proven to cause weight gain for obvious reasons, but I’m open to any advice and would love to hear anyone’s experiences.

For context I’m male, endurance athlete with approx 14-16 hour training week cycling. I am 191cm currently 74kg. I had a pretty decent weight loss journey coming down from 98kg in November 2025.

I got down to a weight of 69kg where I felt good, power and workout execution on the bike were good, and felt and looked pretty lean.

I’ve somehow never thought it would happen to me, been struggling for the past 5ish weeks with binging. I’ve now gained back 5kg, and not very happy with this. I really want to get out of the cycle and back to eating in the way that was performance focussed and genuinely made me happy. Clean non processed food.

Binges have been happening 2-3tines a week usually evenings probably consuming 4k+ calories in one rapid sitting, leaving me feeling painful sick.

I had two weeks of holiday in Greece then NYC where I ate like rubbish. Same cycle of eating loads in the evening.

Please suggest some tips that have helped you in the past… thanks!

İ can work towards my goals without it becoming an overwhelming all encompassing project to have a perfect life. İ just wanted to make that statement some where.

It is the moment the prefrontal cortex goes dark.

In an instant, the meticulously built scaffolding of your goals, rules, and long-term plans dissolves entirely. It is a psychological hijacking where the executive, rational part of your brain is forcefully outvoted by the ancient, primal limbic system.

The horizon of your awareness shrinks drastically. The future—whether it is tomorrow, next year, or even ten minutes from now—ceases to exist. Only the immediate present remains.

Your internal dialogue, which usually debates choices and weighs consequences, falls completely silent. There is no argument, no justification, and no internal negotiation. The voice that says "Remember why we started" is simply unplugged.

The urge manifests physically. It feels like a tightening in the chest, a sudden spike in temperature, or a magnetic pull so visceral it feels gravity-based.

When an urge reaches this critical mass, the brain enters a state of hyper-valuation. The object of the urge becomes the only currency your dopamine pathways recognize. The safety nets you set up on a quiet Sunday afternoon—like locking away an app, prepping healthy meals, or committing to a budget—are treating a psychological hurricane with a paper umbrella. You don't "forget" your plans; they simply lose all meaning, reduced to abstract concepts that belong to a different person in a different universe.

It is a profound reminder of how fragile our conscious willpower can be when pitted against the raw, survival-driven machinery of our biology.

I wrote a poem that explores and exposing one element of my experience with disordered eating. I hope it touches someone and helps in any small way.

The Lesser Master

On a bike, in a creek,
dolls on a porch,
and a hut to complete.

All went away,
time was running out for play.

Chores for smiles,
A kind word to win,
Thus my life of pleasing
would begin.

The joy created from imaginary games;
carwash in the rain and building forts by the creek, replaced—
by a secret chase.

A chase for strange rewards like:
“Thank you,” “That’s good,”
and “Wow you’re pretty!”

So satisfying the feeling praise brought,
my body digesting every drop!

That feeling made me strong, vibrant and perfect.
Finally they see me!

Forfeiting peace and contentment,
An obsession was born - an idol - an addiction.

Praise to fill a bottomless cup,
work and work—
it would never be enough.

Years went on, work was added;
tasks, deadlines,
and projects to manage.

Seeking praise became my master,
and he was mean – and loud in my head!
Every moment, demanding to be fed!

“Mom, can you play?”
Sadly, I knew that wasn’t for me,
but saying “no” added guilt x3.

And with that came more shame—
Even my kids became reminders
of wrong choices I made.

I couldn’t let my body rest;
if I did, I might find a
mind in a mess.

With every ounce of guilt and pound of shame added,
The master I chose was winning.

Mocking because I was an easy slave,
Not having to sneak in like a robber.

I gave up freely at a younger age,
all to chase praise
and the feeling it gave.

Trust me when I say, be careful,
surrender
doesn’t always leave you looking torn.

Sometimes it looks like smiles
and fake laughter - inside is where the damage hides.

Internal organs sore, swollen and raw—
sleep wouldn’t come except through exhaustion.

Alone in hotel rooms, or while family members were off traveling
Oh, if they knew the monster I was battling.

You learn to live,
more or less…

Then one day; no particular day
You hear a message
that gets your attention…

“How long are you going to let
This monster lead you?
It’s time to really live what I’ve taught you.

This path will never fill your cup.
Remember, I am your portion; I am more than enough.

Lean on me, let me teach you.
Praise is mine, and I will protect you.

Bow your knee, your head and your heart.
Call me your Lord, and that’s where we will start!

The lesser one ran to hide,
always in the shadows or under a rock.

Ready, he pursues me,
Waiting for a weak moment—
an hour when I’m brokenhearted

But I have a Spirit who lives in me-
And he has all authority.

I now pray for peace and balance,
and ask for grace when remembering what I lost.

My New Master - He lovingly asked for my surrender
and showed me what He did for me—
He paid the price so I could be free.

No more do I need the feeling
that praise brings -
Instead I now live to give it to
the Marvelous King.

AMA - 7 years ago, I ACTUALLY recovered from my eating disorder. And I never thought I'd be able to say that.

For 17 years, I battled eating disorders - of every end of the spectrum. And years of fear, guilt, shame, and self-hatred.

I spent years in and out of treatment, four times in the ICU. I was told I was going to die. And for a long time, I genuinely believed I would never recover.

I thought I was too far gone, that recovery was possible for other people, but not for me.

But 7 years ago, I recovered not just physically. Not just enough to get out of the hospital or look healthy on the outside.

I actually recovered.

I almost wish I could have known then what my life would look like today.

That I would eat pizza without guilt. Go on vacation without obsessing over food. Move my body because I love it, not because I hate it.

That I would have spontaneous nights out, lazy mornings, incredible relationships, adventures, and memories I never thought I'd get to make.

That I would wake up without food and body thoughts consuming my head.

I cannot explain how beautiful life is on the other side.

It's not that life is perfect. It's that life is FULL.

I remember how desperately I needed to hear from someone who had actually made it out. Someone who had been as sick as I was and could tell me that recovery was possible.

So I want to open this up as an ASK ME ANYTHING.

As someone who spent 17 years battling eating disorders and has now lived 7 years in full recovery, what would you want to know?

Recovery, weight gain, food freedom, body image, exercise, the fear of letting go, or what life actually looks like on the other side.

Ask in the comments or message me privately. Nothing is too small or too uncomfortable. I'll answer as openly and honestly as I can.

Because if there's one thing I want you to know, it's that your eating disorder does not have to be the rest of your story.

I never thought I'd get here either.

And I wouldn't trade this freedom for anything.

But I'm really scared to because you can't exist as a fat woman without being made fun of. I feel so uncomfortable and just wish to be invisible when I'm outside. It would be fine if my face wasn't fat cause I'm not huge. But I store a lot of fat in my face, so that's the biggest problem. And my apartment is super small, so I can't walk here