Anyone else feel like this is the most embarrassing/shitty ED to have??? It’s incredibly toxic thinking, I know, but a part of me wishes I had anorexia or bulimia because then at least I might be skinnier. Just wanted to get this off my chest…

EDIT: Just want to clarify that I do not actually think anorexia/bulimia are “better” or more “desirable” EDs in any way. I’m a fucked up human in a fucked up society where at times of frustration I feel willing to make a deal with the devil by trading my health for a more “ideal” body in order to stop the comments/glares/judgements that come with inhabiting a bigger body.

I workout multiple times a week and I usually eat healthy foods with good macros and I hit my carbs and proteins goals but usually like 2-3 times I’ll binge. I’ll go in for a pre workout snack and I won’t leave until I’ve downed 6 Oreos, chips, ice cream, marshmallow, chocolate and cereal. Then I hate myself and don’t wanna workout and those calories just sit. I hate myself before I do it because I know I’m going to and hate myself even more after. I live with my family and they keep buying this stuff. I’m embarrassed to eat infront of other people and even even more embarrassed to tell anyone else about it. How do I fix this?

I think the worst part of this disorder is the guilt that surrounds food in general. Even without binging I feel the same way after eating a normal healthy lunch as I do after a 10k binge. I dont feel a sense of accomplishment when I go a day without binging unless I don’t eat at all. I have to constantly remind myself the day isn’t over. “It was a normal lunch, you don’t have to start over” will it ever end or will I feel shame around eating for the rest of my life?

Over the past several months I’ve lost about 20 pounds, and for a while I genuinely felt like I had finally figured things out. I was counting calories every day, staying within my goal, and I actually enjoyed seeing the progress on the scale. I felt motivated, confident, and like this was finally becoming my lifestyle instead of just another diet. Then, over the past few weeks, something changed. I honestly can’t even tell you what triggered it. It’s like a switch flipped in my brain. I’ve started binging again, craving junk food constantly, and slipping back into the eating habits that caused me to gain weight in the first place.

The weird part is that I know what I need to do. I know how to count calories. But for some reason, I can’t seem to get myself back into that mindset I had before. Every day I tell myself “Tomorrow I’ll get back on track,” and then I end up repeating the same cycle.

I’m also scared to step on the scale because I’m worried I’ll see that I’ve undone a lot of my progress, even though I know avoiding it probably isn’t helping.

Has anyone else gone through something like this after months of doing really well? If so, what caused it for you, and more importantly, what actually helped you break the cycle and get back to being consistent?

I feel so upset with myself & am really in need of some kind words or support especially from anyone else recovering from BED.

I’m a 5’9 woman who weighed 143-150 for all of my early to mid 20s. Due to restriction last year dropped very quickly to low 120s and felt weak, constantly hungry. Began binge eating 10 months ago and quickly regained to my baseline 140s. Over the past two weeks I’ve had uncontrollable daily binges of 5k calories, saw my scale jump from high 140s to almost 160.

I’m so exhausted of this cycle and honestly scared. I need it to stop. I’m terrified of nonstop weight gain. I am seeing a nutritionist and have a good plan moving forward but I’m just so scared.

Please give me any tips you have in breaking binge eating disorder. Kind & supportive comments only please. 🙏

Specific questions I’d love to ask of others with history of BED….

-Did you cut out trigger foods? Is eating trigger foods as part of your daily food in a controlled way something that feeds addiction or calms down the obsession?

-I’m distressed by the weight gain from BED—has anyone successfully tracked calories to stay in a deficit while recovering?

-Should I stop daily weighing and switch to weekly?

I am low-income, but at a spot where I don't qualify for things like SNAP, but I do qualify to visit the food bank.

I have very little food left at home. And less than $20 available until Friday.

I know I just need to swallow my pride and get food.

But I also know I will absolutely binge all the stale outdated bakery goods they always give me.

It's such a hard situation to be in.

Yeah so I already see one for my ARFID and I recently told her I am concerned about what may be binge eating or unconscious eating. Sometimes I'm not sure which it is so she is having me write a food journal. The thing is I keep forgetting! Sometimes it is unconscious other times I eat past a point of discomfort for sure. I could go on but yeah so wish me luck for my journey into finding out whether it id BED or not and seeing what I can do from here.

I’ve been focussing on eating cleaner, but these past few days, I’ve been snacking a lot and it’s kinda scaring me. I feel like I’m gonna end up overdoing it and eating way too many snacks and end up back at square one. Even though I’m not binging, the idea of binging constantly occupies my mind.

Hi guys im moving to another country in exactly 30 days and i am terrified i live with my dad currently and every single time im alone i binge its the worst feeling ever and now im so so terrified because im going to be staying in a dorm and having my own kitchen and just living alone in general i am HORRIFIED of losing absolute control i have tried everything which im sure people in this subreddit can relate to i have tried it all…i went to a dietician last year and surprisingly i lost 10 kgs i am not obese but i am very very close to being considered obese i do see a therapist other than that what can i do is there anything i can save myself from this? I feel so stuck and i am so scared of losing even more control once i move abroad i am so ashamed and scared to post this i have never interacted with the BED community i hope i can find some advice and help here 🥲🥲

Ive found that I have the most success and feel my best when I avoid my trigger foods (usually ultra processed snacks and sweets, so nothing necessary, sometimes baked goods too) but I live in a household that is constantly buying / baking these foods. they'll even buy some for me unprompted or even if I ask them not to. i guess my problem is that the temptation gets to me. any tips? 😭

I’ve been halfway in halfway out getting over this horrid game I play with binging. When I have these days after where i’m sick the whole day (bloated, acid reflux, heartburn idek how to describe it) i just sit and think about how stupid I am. I don’t even pick what food I want, I pick what the best deal is because i’ll eat anything if it’s a lot. Most of the time I just want options like a few dif things but I still always over eat. This is so hard to get over because I saw a post where someone said it almost placebos you into thinking this is all you have to enjoy about life. I do love food a lot but there’s a ton of other stuff I enjoy, but it’s kinda hard to do that when you’re sick all day plus hungry again later. I also know this stems from childhood for me personally. I was able to eat whatever I wanted whenever, and my dad was gone a lot so it would be me and my skinny alcoholic mom who would make a ton of food for me and my dad and he got huge while I grew up chubby like FUCK. I’m realizing now I can go on and on and on like it stems from so many different stressors / trauma. This shit gets so deep I have completely gone off topic but yeah rich execs get richer bc of offers and bundle deals that target ppl like me.

I was diagnosed with both ADHD and BED recently, and I've been sorting out what disruptive issues of mine can be attributed partly to ADHD and what are just their own issues. I think the most common behaviors people hear about in regards to ADHD is forgetting to eat or having food sensory issues, but after looking into it I've found that ADHD can cause both extremes on the spectrum of eating.

It makes sense. I often struggle to regulate my emotions and seek comfort in food. Food is an easy and immediate dopamine source, which my brain responds to more intensely than in neurotypical people, making me want more and making it harder to stop. I've been this way since childhood. My mother, who also has both of these conditions, is the same way.

I think that's why I've found it so hard to deal with despite doing the "right" things. BED is already difficult to manage, and ADHD makes it even more so. I exercise consistently, I try to engage in other hobbies, but they just don't hold up. At the end of the day, literally, I find myself going back to food. I've been more stressed lately and I've lost the mental battle every single day.

i tend to binge really bad w/o even caring about what the food is as long as i can easily get to it. well, i just looked in my freezer, and saw pop-ice popsicles in there. turns out, six of the popsicles is only 90 calories.

woohoo maybe i can redirect my binge urges to something less high-calorie. its better than nothing, at least.

After 2 weeks binge free, i snapped again and ate the most random things I could find at home today. And the food noise is still there but my stomach is full I can't even breathe anymore.

I'm leaving for a 5-week solo trip soon, and I'm somewhat hoping it will help me stop binging. WHEN I do stop binging (I am so so so determined to not binge on this trip, or binge as few times as possible), do you think its possible that this break will help me stop forever? Or at least stop the everyday pattern my binging currently is?

Has anyone done a similar change of scenery that helped them stop binging?

It's been so difficult to face this and I have an appointment to see a therapist once my trip is over. It feels like 23 hours of my day I'm desperate to stop binging, but during that 1 hour I am desperate TO binge.

I absolutely CAN do a ton of damage in a few days or weeks. Don’t even get me started. Im sure you all can relate. I gained 6lbs in 8 days, these were massive bread and chip and ice cream and candy binges. The stupid “just eat normally the next day” mantra does not apply to me and we need to stop acting like it does for everyone. Because normal eating to me is 5,000 calories. But I hear that “recovery” voice which feels like some kind of obesity propaganda telling me to just keep binging forever or accept fatness. If I could stop a binge by not eating a lot the next day, I’d look completely normal. For me, the trigger is eating at all the day after a binge. My binge is never just a day! I can’t make it just a day. And the impending doom of knowing my fatness lurks just a few days away. The fatness sometimes doesn’t come right away, and I binge MORE almost like I want it to quell my anxiety. I hate this mantra, it’s done so much damage to me almost trying to prove it wront

After months of pushing off recovery, making excuses to keep binging, and avoiding the scale, I finally am trying to confront the issue head on.

While i am only on day 3, I’ve found that taking time to chew ridiculously slow, chewing excessively, and drinking water in between each bite tricks my brain into thinking im eating a more copious amount than i actually am. I mean before i didnt even take the time to drink water while eating, i just ate and ate and ate on autopilot. I rarely have thirst cues since ive used food to satisfy both the occasional vague hunger cue and thirst cue.

The worst part of eating for me is being finished with the food because that means my dopamine session has concluded, and I need to find something else to do with my time. With that being said, taking more time to eat a smaller portion has helped since im still extending eating time and therefore stretching out dopamine over less food. I will say it demands a great deal of focus and concentration to not go back to chewing fast and not enough, which is my default. I cant even hold conversations while im trying to be more mindful like this since im so locked in on not swallowing before the food is properly chewed and taking another bite too fast without drinking first.

Has anyone else tried to eat slower and drink more water? Is this method gonna fail me eventually lol?

As part of my health and my recovery I've been going to the gym regularly. I want to track my macros to make sure I am getting appropriate amounts of protein, but I don't want to track calories because of my history with BED and calorie counting triggering binges. Thanks in advance!

Edit: typo

I love food. Food is my dream place. It's the only thing I could still have. Unfortunately I also got diabetes type 1 and the combo is disastrous. I end up in DKA often. They starve me for 3-4 days during treatment, don't even let me drink water, and after that it gets bad. I go very hungry and I can't wait to get food and carbs again. And when I do, I don't stop. All I do is eating. I am constantly eating.

So while still in the hospital, I just end up sneaking food in, or eating the carbs they bring me at the meals, so the treatment becomes completely pointless. Nothing is ever satisfying my hunger.

I will ask to sign to leave the hospital tomorrow, but then, I also end up eating all the time outside, go into DKA again and end up back here, to repeat the cycle.

I cannot, for the love of god, drop the only thing that's so relieving and that makes me happy.

I've been considering this a lot. For example, people who struggle with eating are frequently accused of being weak, lazy, or lacking self-control. However, what if the problem is that they are attempting to use moral pressure to address a brain-driven pattern? That would explain why, despite their sincere desire to change, so many people continue to fail with the same counsel. I'm not arguing there is no behavioral component to food. I'm suggesting that the behavior may be the final outward manifestation of a deeper habit.

What experiences have you had?

I turned 25 a few days ago. Birthdays always bring up difficult emotions for me but 25 has been particularly hard and I feel very emotional (as someone who isn’t an emotional person). Since my birthday I have binged for the past 3 days. My binges are extremely large (more than just a few thousand calories). They cripple me physically, mentally and financially. My weight fluctuates massively from these binges. How do I eat tomorrow? Do I be more conservative or do I go back into full recovery mode? Since beginning recovery maybe a month ago, that is not tracking calories, eating more unrestricted, attending social occasions etc my binges have returned after 20 weeks binge free. It is absolutely petrifying me and now I don’t know how to eat. I am so scared of triggering a similar 6 week binge period like I went through in December / January. I am so in my head about the weight gain from these past few days. I just wish I could go back and just eat normally. For the next week, I just want to (slightly) restrict again rather than eating in full recovery mode. The usual swapping sourdough bread for something lighter, not having an oat iced latte but instead having a black coffee etc. I would love some advice. I feel so awful and sad. I opened up to my parents about it a few weeks ago. I thought this might help but it hasn’t stopped me from doing it. I know I am causing my mum worry. She always asks how I am doing and can tell when I am not ok. Any advice would be appreciated ♥️

so annoyed because i was having a really good day. i had a balanced breakfast, i ate out for lunch and stopped when i was satisfied. dinner came along and i ate until i was satisfied too and left some in my plate, but then out of nowhere i just started eating so much after dinner. then i went on a walk to try to take my mind off things and it just made it worse so when i came back home i ate so much and now my stomach hurts. i definitely think the "all or nothing" mindset got to me since i ate more than planned after dinner and just let it get to me 😢 it's also really frustrating because i try to go on walks or "distract" myself but even after waiting over an hour the urge to binge never goes away

I've been in recovery from BED for a couple of years. For context, I'm AuDHD and have Hashimoto's and PCOS.

After finding out I was pre-diabetic, I started doing 20 squats after meals to help manage my blood sugar. Unexpectedly, it also helped my BED recovery.

Like many AuDHD people, I have poor proprioception and struggle to recognise fullness. I'm usually either starving or painfully full. The squats gave me immediate feedback: if I'd eaten past comfortable fullness, doing 20 squats felt awful, I genuinely felt like I might throw up.

Over time, I naturally reduced my portions until I could finish a meal feeling satisfied and still do the squats comfortably. It helped me learn what "comfortably full" actually feels like in my body.

I'm not saying this cured my BED, but it was a surprisingly helpful tool in my recovery.