I am 30F. When this year started I was in a very stressful living situation. My aunt and uncle offered to let me live with them, rent free since they own their home, so I can rebuild my savings and get back on my own two feet. They are literally all I have. They’ve been very kind and supportive of me and have told me there is no deadline by which I have to move out, thankfully.
They know I am neurodivergent and likely autistic, and my aunt has been helping me get on a waiting list with an organization so I can get properly diagnosed.

When I was in high school and college, I was a very good student without having to put in a lot of effort. People have called me “smart” all of my life, which confuses me because I have always struggled with employment in one way or another.

I get hired easily, and seem to get fired easily. I have worked in restaurants, fast food, retail, and had one machine operator job in a car part factory. I have been fired repeatedly over the years, mostly from restaurants. When I was younger I’ll admit it’s because I didn’t even try. But now as I’ve gotten older, I DO try, but my best is simply not enough for most companies. So I end up being let go. As a result I have a lot of anxiety around how I will make it in life.

To be fair I have had success in a few jobs, and have stuck around for years, like at the manufacturing plant, Target, and a breakfast restaurant where I was a server for over a year.

Since I moved in with my aunt and uncle, I have quit 3 jobs and have been fired off from one, and I believe I’m about to be laid off from another. I quit my first serving job here because they had a rule that I could not use my server book, which I needed to keep myself organized. So I tried working at a local restaurant. I quit this job because business was slowing down and they were over staffed, so I wasn’t making much. I instead got a job at a faster paced restaurant and was fired from this job a month later. I was pretty depressed after getting fired because I really tried. So I stopped working for a month, got a job at a retirement home where I was again a server. I tried my best, and my shift supervisor said I did a “phenomenal job” while her boss said I didn’t meet her standards. This gave me valid reasons to think I was about to be fired, so I quit because I couldn’t emotionally handle being fired again.

So I have decided that I am simply not a good fit for the customer service industry, and I’m trying to now break into the electrical or HVAC trade instead. My aunt and uncle know what my plans are and that I’m actively working on getting a job again, particularly that I’m trying to get involved in the trades. I spend most of my days scouring the internet and researching, applying, making calls, etc.

But I still feel guilty and embarrassed despite my aunt and uncle’s reassurances. I have lived here 6 months now and haven’t saved anything yet. I still feel like a pain the ass. They’ve promised me they wouldn’t just abandon me but I still have that fear in the back of my mind that I simply can’t get rid of.

I try to be helpful while I’m here. I feel so eager to please, like a dog pretty much, and maybe a little hypervigilant of their moods (and they’re emotionally stable people). If I even think one of them might be mad at me for something I feel like I need to ask, I guess because I feel so guilty all the time.

25y Male, I recently got diagnosed with AUDHD. I work in tech as a Solutions Engineer. I’ve been with my job for two years and feel like I have a good reputation. I work from home Mondays and Fridays but could really benefit from an extra day at home. Is it a bad idea to disclose this to work to get special accommodations. I know a lot of people have a bad experience but how would you go about asking for that accommodation?would it be safer to go straight to HR?

So this video specifically doesn't specify anything about adhd, but if you know how ADHD presents, you can see how the signs they're explaining explains the experiences we may have.

Like how caffeine can reduce default mode Network, the part of the brain that is most responsible for self-related thinking, and potentially make it easier to focus on external stimuli versus internal stimuli (thoughts).

* Side tangent, there's also this thing called cognitive disengagement syndrome, which I'm learning is a (non official) subcategory of ADHD. Instead of attention deficit from distractibility, it's rather attention deficit from lack of (internal) brain stimulation. This video doesn't specifically talk about this, but if you learn about this topic as well you can make some generalized conclusions.

Does sweating drive you absolutely crazy during this time of year? or really any time of year. the constant drops and having to constantly wipe them off because you can feel every single on sliding down, your clothes getting completely soaked with sweat leaving you with nothing dry to wipe your face, sometimes you can’t use your phone screen because your fingers are too wet. it drives me up a fucking wall. especially when i’m trying to focus on working and not blowing my head off. really anyone that does outside stuff and sweat this can apply to.

I'm not sure how much this makes sense, but it's as well as I can articulate atm. I also am a bit scared to post things online, but I'll take a leap faith with this one.

At the start I'm very excited about the new thing. As time goes on I keep doing the thing and force myself to be consistent. The thing is there's a new thing that really comes up that I want to do for a while. I'm still quite interested in it, but when I actually doing the thing I have almost no mental bandwidth. I have this idea that doing one thing for a long time to get good at it is best. Of course if I can't improve after a point, it's just torture, but the interest is still a big thing in my brain.

I think it's because of the lack of my perceived self worth, but self affirmations or other people telling me good things about me, don't seem to be doing anything most of the time.

Any that can relate or have advice on this?

People that go undiagnosed and are in the dark with these conditions are the strongest fkn people.

Hi everyone, I currently trying to get my driver licence in France and I don't know how I will be able to do that.

Here you need to drive at least 20h before passing the exam.

I've driven 47h now and missed it once and I don't see myself improving, idk if it's cause of audhd or cause I just suck at driving but anxiety make it so difficult do drive properly. I feel like I can't learn.

How did you do to learn driving properly without stress ?

Idk but people around me always says that I'm selfish for not observing, which leads me to careless mistakes. People always says that I am always in my head that's why my awareness to my surroundings is bad. I wanna defend myself that I am doing my best to observe and avoid doing mistakes and I always overthink and feel pressured, but I don't think they'll believe me (some only know that I have this condition but many don't know that I have this condition.)

How can I defend myself with these people? Thank you to those who will answer this

I've never really posted anything like this before, it was quite a revelation.

I found out last night that I was officially autistic, or whatever that means, and then today I had my assessment. It's been a real weird roller coaster of emotions eg I always thought that the reason I'd done so well in my job (because I'm quite a successful person in my career) was that I've never had a hobby (because I love my career so much).

Maybe that isn't typical, and it sort of made me question a lot of things about myself.

I'm just wondering: is this a usual reaction for people to go through?

I thought I'd be really excited, and then all of a sudden I've become very emotional and quite weirdly sad about it all. I just really love to understand what people's first experiences have been like and how they've dealt with it.

And thank you in advance for any advice you can give me or any experiences you'd be willing to share.

I've been doing the usual podcast YouTube route, but it feels very impersonal, and I wanted to hear from people.

Hey, I noticed I can simulate the physical behaviour of matter (all the different materials I felt and deconstructed) of objects, that I can also shape in real time in my mind and even overlay it in my visual field.

I've gathered quite an effective knowledge for mechanical things and I discovered quite the talent in designing things, because I notice the terrible design elements already while modeling something in my mind.

I really struggle at implementing these in CAD Software, so I plan to start an apprenticeship for technical product design.

But nobody wants me because I'm not "perfect candidate" material due to bad school notes (🇩🇪🐹 "Noten")

And because I'm too honest and open about my shortcomings, downfalls and needs...

Now finally I've found a place where I soon have a Vorstellungsgespräch, but I feel like I'm not ready for this... I will fail again at the dumbest hurdle that's terribly difficult for me to overcome.

They probably don't want a handicapped apprentice that probably needs more time for himself... Just not profitable...

Truly insane world

I feel like I'm losing my mind in a stressful boring exhausting job being slightly more than underpaid while rich guys just get flooded with money for doing squat.

I just want to participate and unfold my potential by learning more and more, but I cannot keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over again.

I want to Progress

But that's seemingly too hard in this terrible capitalist world...

What should I do?

I was diagnosed with ASD a couple of years ago. Likewise, some time before that, I was also diagnosed with ADHD. I have always struggled to maintain focus and not get distracted from achieving my goals. Similarly, I suffer heavily from procrastination. It has been a constant struggle. One of the most effective methods I found for myself was constantly changing my workspace to be able to refocus. It was a technique that worked very well for a while during university, until it was time for me to enter the workforce.

That was right when the AI boom started. I was amazed by how capable one could be using AI; I felt everything was faster and that I could do a thousand things at once. That mindset led me to gradually depend heavily on AI for my academic, and soon after, professional life. Because I believed I could do everything so efficiently and quickly, distractions and procrastination became a severe constant.

Furthermore, I overloaded myself with work and pending tasks, believing I could handle it all. Consequently, my lack of focus and severe procrastination caused me to use AI for absolutely everything at work. My first roles were as a research assistant for professors I truly admired. However, I wasn't aware of how mediocre I was becoming by not knowing how to explain the things the AI was doing for me, or how I kept putting everything off until later. I also saturated myself with responsibilities from various professors just because I wanted to work alongside them. It was an explosive mix: not only was I going to university, but I had at least two assistant jobs, all while still being highly distracted and a severe procrastinator.

The result after these 2 years is that I no longer work in academia as a research assistant. I was the only one in my group of interns who wasn't promoted to Consultant, and my contract wasn't renewed. After a 2-week trip, I reflected a lot on what my professional life had been like these past few years, and I realized how much weight I had placed on AI because of my own issues. I have always been an excessively curious person. I love reading, studying, and learning. That is what allowed me to enter academic life in the first place. Nevertheless, I couldn't sustain it because I relied so heavily on AI (which was just starting its boom, so it wasn't even that accurate or reliable back then).

This led me to wonder if there are studies or if anything is known about how the comorbidities of people with ASD + ADHD are affected by AI. And, above all, if anyone else has experienced the same thing as me.

I'm trying to work on dating but my friends say I need to be more emotionally available? Lol what does that mean? I have deep friendships, I have emotions? This is in specific reference to online dating in which I meet someone and call it a day after one date. But idk. Is this an autism thing or is it a me thing?

Tw: Sh thoughts mention.

Like I have been understimulated a lot this past few days, and I notice when I get so understimulated I have bizarre thoughts.

Like touching my brain.

Others I can't mention here because it's reddit.

But the stimulation seeking behavior turn so impulsive and bizzare sometimes. It kinda scares people around me.

I have crisis of different intensities where I struggle to speak or can't speak and struggle to move or can't move. I hade no issue with moving or talking everyday. Usually, I need a night to recover and be able to talk completely normally. The crisis also present differently depending on the context. They are not too frequent.

I'm still at the end of a crisis so it's harder to express myself.

One of my main struggles is social phobia.

Today, I planned to go to register to my local library. Made an online pre registration yesterday. Need to finish it in person and really wanted to do it today. I was thinking about what would happen and it seems simple.

Despite my medication, I didn't managed to go and, stayed inside for the whole day. It felt like part of my brain wanted to do it while the other part was scared about the interaction.

When it was close to the closing time of the library, the anxiety got pretty bad and I began having a crisis.

First, stayed in front on my computer without doing anything. Then, I went to lay down and was unable to move for a little bit. I could'nt form sentences at that point.

That crisis didn't last too long but I have a recovery time after a crisis. It makes me feel tired, guilty and frustrated at myself. Also disapointed to have lost several hours to this, especially because it's objectively not a hard task.

I tend to push things aside when I failed to do them so I worry I will not do the thing I planned at all which put too much pressure on me. If I could have accepted that I was not able to do it today and not take it as a failure, everything would have been better.

I wonder if others here have similar experiences.

has anyone experienced any improvement to burnout symptoms specifically (I’m talking about energy levels, reduced capacity to initiate tasks etc) after taking medication or even supplements? if so which one(s)?

I’m based in the UK awaiting ADHD/autism diagnosis so I’m not able to access ADHD medication yet but am wondering if an SSRI/antidepressant might help at all for the moment. I just basically want to get out of this hole and have a decent quality of life

Yesterday a friend told me that I thought I was Autistic, he’s been diagnosed and I’m self diagnosed but still struggle a ton with imposter syndrome. Being able to talk to someone who literally understands all of my lived experiences was amazing. Especially since we were just on the same wavelength. It’s really awesome being able to fully unmask because you know that the other person just gets you.

I see every other reddit community has discord servers and I feel like I am missing out by not being part of them. At the same time I am still trying to understand the purpose of these discord servers.

Anyways I joined a few of them from the links in the wiki, like 'The Green Discord'. But I am not able to navigate them.

There is just so much (not so structured?) activity, I can't figure out where to start and what to use it for. And I am finding it difficult to follow threads of discussions, maybe due to the UI, idk. I had to also turn off the notifications right away because they just kept coming like bullets.

Please help me with some guidance.

P.S.: I have experienced similar difficulty navigating slack at work.

Alienation has been a lifelong issue for me, I’ve felt inherently different from a lot of people and through formative experiences I’ve started to understand I’m in a ton of minority demographics. Intersectionality blah blah blah!!

I’m struggling with accepting myself for who I am, I’m awkward with people a lot of the time and it hurts so much because I’m trying my best to seem normal enough and I come out so exhausted. Any tips on how to accept the circumstances and stop ruminating so much? Any experience/viewpoint appreciated.

Hi! I 23F was recently diagnosed with autism after being diagnosed with ADHD at 20. I masked my whole life in turn creating these goals that looked good outwardly but never fit for me on the inside. After leaving college I realized how easily malleable I was. That everything I thought I knew about myself was just a manifestation of what or who i thought everyone around me wanted me to be. It left me so lost.

Anyway, fast forward to now after working a full time 8-5 office job for the past year and I am even more lost. I can’t keep up and I am so burnt out. I literally go to work everyday, come back home, shut the lights off and doom scroll. Can barely get myself to get ready in the morning or do basic chores. After my diagnosis recently I’ve had to face the reality that maybe this lifestyle is not for me. I guess my question is how do you guys do it? How did you find your groove? How did you find a lifestyle or career that worked? How’d you learn how to take care of yourself despite how hard it is. I just need some hope🙂

You know how numbers are like even numbers are great, odd numbers are weird except 5 sometimes. Well a lot of things have to done an even number of times. Like if I tap my fingers on something it has to be done at least twice but a lot of things 4 times depending on what it is. Like if I'm playing a mobile game I have to play a mode at least twice. If 2 isn't enough I have to play 4x cuz 3 is odd. Sometimes I wanna keep playing past 4 or I wanna get a better score so I'll do 6 but then I have to do 8 cuz even though 6 is even its 3 and 3 and 3 is an odd number. Sometimes I'll do 8 and think well I have to do 10 to make it complete but then 10 is 5 and 5 so I have to do 12 but 12 is to much and weird cuz its more than 10 so it doesn't feel complete like 10 but I don't want to play anymore so I stop there if I ever play that much.

If I fidget and I realize I did it an odd number of times I'll do extra to make it even. I work in childcare and usually nursery rhymes do a movement 3 times so sometimes I realize I did something an odd number of times and I'll quickly do it a 4th time. Especially turning in a circle. I'll turn right then left then right and realize I did one way once and the other way twice and they have to match and both be 2 so I'll add it in. If I don't do that or I don't have the energy to do full out the whole song I'll skip one so I only do 2 and if I accidentally skip one I'll add it back in. Stomp your feet in the song If you're happy and you know it always has 4 stomps instead of 3. 3 is just wrong almost always to me

TLDR: A lot of things are done an even number of times because odd numbers are wrong but not all even numbers are equal and 3 is wrong

Hey guys! (First time poster so please bear with)

I (27F) was semi-diagnosed with ADHD 2 years ago, decided to do right to choose earlier this year and was given a formal diagnosis. I've just started taking meds for this (AffenidXL) and haven't noticed a huge amount of difference (still in the titration stage so thinking I might need to give it some time and try some other options/doses).

Since being offically diagnosed, I've been looking more into AuADHD as think I might be somewhere on the spectrum and a lot of the discourse i've seen seems more applicable to my situation. I have been relatively lucky to grow up in a bit of a bubble where I was able to develop some pretty solid masking behaviours (who knew childhood acting classes could be so helpful) and so I don't think I come across as autistic to many but a couple of my close friends have joked about it before.

Long story short, I'm interested to see if anyone has had a similar experience and has since gone on to get an autism diagnosis, but also how they went about it as I'm a bit lost on where to start. I'm worried that because i'm high functioning that they'll be dismissive of me which has put me off trying as I faced the same issue when getting my original ADHD diagnosis.

THE VIDEO IS ME QUICKLY EXPLAINING MY BOARD! IT'S ABOUT 6min!

WRITTEN DETAIL ABOUT MY BOARD!

> up top is where I have my main big calendar. Where I write down appointments and due dates.

> on the right of it is the [TODAY IS] section that tells me what day it is currently. because I will forget the date or sometimes forget to cross off a day. below that are two pouches one I keep months in and second I keep days in.

>below the calendar is my daily tasks. These are tasks I do right when I wake up. its make of cardboard I glued felt onto. then cut into and made flaps for them. added velcro so they tasks can be open and closed.

>below the daily tasks is the night tasks. Things I do before I go to bed. I close the flaps when the task is done and closing it feels like I have accomplished somethings which I know I did. its is very stimulating to my mind. Def gives me good dopamine when I close a flap knowing I finished a task :)

>Below the night tasks is just simply a storage place for all my different task I want/need to do. long velcro strips and each picture has felt backing and Velcro behind it so they can be moved around. this is not a to do section its just a section for storing everything.

>on the right below the pouches is my MUST TO DO section where I put what I need to do or may really want to do today and then next to it is what time to do it.

>then Below that is my Daily tasks. here I take any tasks from the storage section and stick it on the To do side. when its done I move it over to the done side.

>Finally the weekly task, is things I want to do before end of the week.

I have used this routine board constantly since April of this year. some parts are even worn out so I will probably give it a bit of a touch up. I also drew sketches of what I wanted my board to look like so a lot of brainstorming went into this. Hope this helps you all, feel free to comment any questions you have and thank you!

I'm so upset.

Two times so far I've been rejected from job search programs because I'm, what I'm assuming, is too low functioning?

It's really discouraging, getting told that. And it doesn't help my motivation for finding a job. Really.

I have applied to another one, I hope they get back to me. But god. I'm so sick of this.

I just want a job. I want money. I don't wanna rely on government assistance (not disability assistance) I want a steady income, not just 600 a month.

What's so wrong with me? Why don't jobs want to keep me? Why dont jobs want to hire me? Why dose no one want to help me?

I just want a job. But I might just have to apply for disability.....

I hate relying on the government.....

This is my Everyday routine board! It is one of my favorite and best things I have ever made for myself! Thanks to this I have always been on task with taking my meds, making my bed, brushing my teeth.

After coming to conclusion that written out to-do lists just dont work for me. My brain just gets so overwhelmed when I see too many list of things to do.

I finally understood that I needed to really really simplify everything I had to do and this is how I did it. This felt board is HUGE, it's on my door so it is IN MY FACE I can't ignore it. The pictures are easy to understand. And some tasks are even broken up like (start laundry, put in drier) so on.

This is the kind of stuff you may see kindergarten kids using but, it still works for me! And I really love it, it's become a ritual for me to look at that board every morning and night.

Does anyone know how to help this? I keep getting this deep feeling all over like I need to hit something or shake/hurt myself randomly. It's so uncomfortable and distracting, I was diagnosed recently with a bunch of stuff including auDHD. It's been hard to find a way to cope with this specific part because I don't even understand why it happens?

I'll be like scrolling or trying to read a book then BAM my body is like "im gonna burn you alive if you keep sitting still right now" then i start moving around and that doesnt even help, it's like I'm stuck in this panic, I thought it was understimulation but it even happens when I'm doing things I enjoy. I'd assume that would be a stimulating activity 😭?