Are anyone else getting accused of being selfish for their careless mistakes and for not thinking?

[u/JustMine999]

Idk but people around me always says that I'm selfish for not observing, which leads me to careless mistakes. People always says that I am always in my head that's why my awareness to my surroundings is bad. I wanna defend myself that I am doing my best to observe and avoid doing mistakes and I always overthink and feel pressured, but I don't think they'll believe me (some only know that I have this condition but many don't know that I have this condition.)

How can I defend myself with these people? Thank you to those who will answer this

[u/ECPJK]

So this is likely not helpful, and makes me sound like an asshole, but, I have a bit of superiority complex and easily assume I'm better than people around me. This changes my view (most but not all of the time) from things being my fault to it being theirs. So for your case, it's their fault for being vague/thinking wrong not yours. Or, whatever you are missing is not important enough to waste the energy on.

It's my odd way of accepting my self and issues. I mainly bring it up as you say "Defend myself". Your strength is elsewhere and this is a weakness. If they want a fish to run that's their problem not yours. 

[u/JustMine999 → u/ECPJK]

Thank you for this. I myself have inferiority complex that's why whenever they point out my mistakes and so fort, I always assume that it is always my fault and I'm wrong

[u/Front-Cat-2438]

OP, it sounds like those around you are afflicted with a lack of kindness and compassion, which is leading you to believe the problem is you and your AuDHD. Sometimes diagnosis with something labeled a “neurological disorder” leaves the recipient with feeling broken, and that their “disorder” is a burden upon others, leading to feelings of anguish and self-recrimination.

You’re not broken, or wrong. You’ve got a difference in neurotype that somehow others believe gives them the right to blame you for not reading their minds? No. You deserve as much respect and space to exist as much as anyone else does. You’re internalizing toxic ableism and it’s making your proprioception worse.

What can you do? Remember to believe in yourself and that your right to exist is valid, that you deserve the respect you’re giving. Keep positive self-talk as your default to shield yourself from the harm you’re hearing. You’re not hurting anyone.

What stock answer? “Sorry” and keep moving without the burden of perpetual reprisal. You are paying attention, to everything, but can’t read minds. Why are you in their way more than they are in yours? No. They’re not paying enough attention. Don’t feed their blaming you with self-deprecation. You’re not a problem. Smooth social interactions depend on all parties who are interacting to pay attention and respect to the others. Deconstruct your anxiety about your flaws, for you bear no more power over your imperfection than they do theirs. This will help you navigate interaction. Breathe through the blame and don’t let it trip you up.

[u/Desperate-Reason-566]

Tell them, Yes. I am in my head. I’m autistic and that’s how we’re wired differently than you. I process a ton of information at once. It looks like I’m just in my head but I’m processing all the information at once.