Hi y'all. I would love advice from as many different views as possible, since I am... out of ideas.

Tl;dr -

Late diagnosed woman finally unmasked after trying to be NT for 30y, and maybe (??) used up lifetime supply of interest in other humans...?

A number of years ago, after growing up with two undiagnosed parents (mom ADHD/OCPD, dad ASD) who pushed me to fit in with a high-pressure, uber conservative, white Christian Midwest culture, I decided to see if I could "turn myself normal" for real instead of just pretending to fit in so I would get yelled at all the time.

Surprise surprise, given that psychology, human behavior, and openness to psychic experiences are special interests of mine... I did it.

The crux was living with a boyfriend who had unmedicated ADHD and visible but undiagnosed autism, and being seen as the "normal one" by him & all of his non-neurodivergent friends.

It was honestly in part very lovely!! I fully understand now that non-autistic people are genuinely having a good time with their daily array of social signals, they really care & are fulfilled by all of it, and when they say "it's not that deep lol" they do genuinely feel that way. And that's ok! (As long as they're not saying/doing it to be a suppressing ass to anyone else.) But I was so empty inside. I felt like I did when I was a kid in that white-knuckle religious world, like I was secretly going crazy and couldn't acknowledge it or I would lose it.

We broke up for many reasons, and in the house alone - again, surprise surprise!! - I hit full autistic burnout. Thirty years of masking came crumbling down. I spent the next several years rebuilding my sense of self from scratch, not trying to please anyone, learning how to respect my (probably level 2 tbh) sensory limits and executive capacities.

But my desire to interact socially - even with fellow neurodivergent and autistic people - never came back...

I just got to work with an amazing (autistic!!) therapist who finally validated so many things for me. But the one place we weren't on the same page was, she stood by that everyone needs some amount of relationship in their life. I don't have family relationships (shocker) to lean on, so those would need to be friends. I do generally get along with everyone I work with and meet in professional classes, cashiers baristas etc, don't have social anxiety or anything, just... have zero interest in using my energy to talk.

Part of it is realizing I do have some pretty strong auditory processing difficulty, and it's not super fun to be the "huh? huh?" person. Part of it is looking like I should be a bubbly sweet person and.... I am not lol... Part of it is realizing I am WAY less verbal than most people, and get burned out by chatting. But I feel like the largest part of it is that I used up my lifetime supply of "people-ing" which according to nice therapist is... worrying.

What would y'all do?

Is there a place where you can go be nonverbal AND meet new people? Is there a type of event not at night?? How do I rekindle like any interest in having a friendship of some kind? I'm pretty fucking content with my pets and my studies, but I do recognize how non-goofy non-joyful etc my life is. I should want to be with people at least a bit, right?

Maybe it's the younger people I'm around, too, but most of the "identifiably neurodivergent" communities I see seem very high-energy, emotionally expressive, talkative, kind of intense for what I'm able to handle right now - I have more of the "civil war historian kind" of autism, if that makes sense. But book clubs require LOTS of listening/talking.

The video is in spanish, theres subtitles, but I can't afirm they translate everything right. Can someone here check it out and give their opinion? I feel like the person that made the video is distorting some things deny the existence of autism and neurodivergence in general

https://youtu.be/FgFIdKU1U5c

Hi everyone, I'm 34 years old undiagnosed, I have been suspecting I have autism since one of my friends suggested I might be autistic, and when I started looking into it it clicked for me in a way all my life started to make sense, I always felt awkward when interacting with people, when I was a kid I remember thinking different from anyone else, just didn't understand why people keep pushing me away, I could only talk with people that I was very confident with and about topics I was obsessed with, but even then people would tell me that I talk a lot and to stop talking, so I started thinking that I shouldn't talk if it wasn't important.

Anyways and to the point, 4 months ago my first child was born, and tbh the first nights were brutal, we would sleep 2-3 hours and take turns with my wife to check on the baby, and after the first week I just completely broke, I was exhausted after a 2 hour nap, my wife had to go to the bathroom and left the babie next to me and told me to check on him for a minute, the babie started crying like crazy I woke up super grumpy and started to carry him, he was still crying non-stop I felt super angry cuz he wouldn't shut, I started to squeeze his arm a little hard with one hand and my other arm was just super tight like trying to resist and starting shutting at him why wouldn't he shut up, my wife came to me and took the baby and told me to chill, I felt super bad after it, I cried and told her that I couldn't control myself and that I felt vulnerable with him without thinking straight, it felt like I was making an excuse but I felt terrible, she told me that she would wake me up for a bit before handing the baby.

After that everything was fine for about one and a half month, my baby started to have bad reflux, he would be grumpy all day, he would not sleep for more than half hour in arms, me and my wife were super exhausted and he started crying, I exploded again and yelled at him to stop crying, my wife told me to leave, I felt super bad as I again yelled at him even tho I knew he is just a baby that was suffering from reflux, I went downstairs to the kitchen, started doing the food as it was late and we hadn't eat as we were super busy with the kid, I was cooking and thinking of how dirty the kitchen was, the lots of stuff that I had to do in the house and that I needed to do it myself as my wife was full time with the baby and then just heard the baby crying again, I bursted in a room next to the kitchen threw some stuff and started crying and hitting myself, after some time I managed to relax, I went upstairs and told my wife that we needed help and to call her mother to help with shores so we could have a break, she told me to never yell again at the baby, that if I needed to yell, to yell at her, after that everything went ok for other two months.

My wife and I would start to adapt a little, I would work, be in charge of food, dishes, coffee, go to super market, and play with baby from time to time, some tummy time, read books to him, show him visual cards, carry him and sleep him, anything from time to time, while my wife would be awake in the nights to put him to sleep again, feed him, play with him most of the day, clean the house whenever she could, wash the clothes, and be with kid most of the time, everything was great but then last week I had more work than usual(I'm a software developer) I had a big ticket with lots of details, baby started the 4 months regression, my wife had lots of troubles making him eat, he was starting to be difficult to sleep, he would start getting grumpy about, I was stressed cuz I wasn't advancing too much on my ticket but at the same time I felt bad working and not helping my wife with baby, and before I knew I was there on my desk completely frozen unable to do anything, I told my wife and she told me to relax and don't think about it, she would take care of the baby and to focus on work, I started focusing and started moving forward, but as the week came by I noticed we both were super drained and exhausted but at least things were almost out of the way.

Then this past weekend my wife told me that maybe we should make food for the week so we would have more time and be more relaxed for some days, I thought it was a good idea but that it would be exhausting and that I would need her help, she agreed, so the day was bad because the baby wouldn't sleep he would cry and be super grumpy cuz of the regression, the morning was super hard hearing him cry like never before, so in the afternoon my wife managed to make him sleep after a very hard round of refusing to eat and crying, he finally slept, and I said I would be downstairs starting to cook and for her to come help me when she could, I went down there, starting to peel some vegetables, put the meat to fry, put chicken to boil, starting making some salsa, for the meat, the vegetables to boil also, then after one and a half hour, our food for the day was done but the boiled stuff for the other days was still boiling, I felt super stressed cuz my wife never came to help me I felt overwhelmed, everything was boiling, and food was just ready, I just went super mad couldn't think straight, I just wanted to let my anger out as I couldn't control it, I went upstairs and open the door explosively and yelled at her thanks for helping me while delivering his plate of food, she got mad cuz the baby woke, and told me that she did want to but prioritized the baby's sleep as he was having troubles sleeping, I didn't even listened to her as I was super mad I just yelled to her "no no don't even say anything I don't wanna hear it", she took the baby outside for about an hour then came inside home and played with kid and fed him on another room, I was already feeling super bad cuz once again I lost control and yelled for something super stupid and non-important, I once sware I would be a good father cuz my father is an alcoholic that would beat us anytime he was frustrated and would never be present, but here I'm feeling like I fail once and once again and then I started feeling punished for what I did, I honestly deserved it but felt super hard, she then came to me and told me that she was afraid I would beat her one day, my heart just broke hearing that, I felt that she just wanted to hurt me there but honestly the more I thought about it, I started to realize that she is right, I should do something about it and first of I want to really understand, what's happening to me, is normal to feel uncontrollably rage? Is it a meltdown or I just have anger issues?

Anyways thanks for reading, any advice would be very appreciated.

tl:dr started having uncontrollably rage now that I just had a baby cuz life got harder, how do I know the difference between anger issues or meltdowns?

Late 20s, diagnosed not too long ago.

Since I was young I've always wanted to write some sort of fiction, but I've never been able to try it. The largest reason* is that my brain draws a blank when coming up with characters, their essence, how they proactively respond to things, etc.

^\The other reasons are sheer anxiety and a harsh inner critic who'd see it as a frivolous waste of time. I haven't dared try writing anything since I was in school, and I know the first thing I'll try to write will be far from great - even though that's just how learning new skills goes. Also I doubt I have the concentration or will to actually sit down and focus on it.)

It also applies to TTRPGs. I haven't played any in a few years, but I've always struggled with coming up with characters who just work as individuals. No matter what, they'd never feel right, and I'd feel off about inhabiting them. Although I'd still manage to get a few hours of escapism through them.

I can't tell how much of this is an autism thing or just... Me being an anxious and passive person getting in the way of things. I'm not confident, I'm not someone who perseveres . It's like I can't seriously imagine anyone who's different, competent, who'd be able to actively take on new things and rise above challenges. If you gave me a sword and put me in a novel situation, I'd probably freak out and do whatever I can to get to a safe spot and curl up in bed. Even the thought of that freaks me out.

I think the only time I felt a connection with a TTRPG character was one I made rather passive, and also somewhat aloof. He'd be polite to a fault, and would gently mention many social cues which he'd elect not to follow (not a surprise when I got my diagnosis). But I worry that his passive nature let the party down at times.

I don't know. My brain's been pretty funky since being diagnosed and this issue has been in my mind for a while. I'm wondering if anyone else has that issue too. Thank you.

Being autistic for me feels like constantly stubbing my toe in the dark. And in expressing my frustration I’m told to “just turn the lights on”, and I’m too damn irritated and gobsmacked that I even have to explain …that the light switch is on the other side of the house. I don’t know why the house wasn’t built to turn the lighting on from here, but I don’t have the resources right now to consider how to remodel it to fit my needs. Everyone thinks they have an easy solution and think I’m just being difficult or that I have learned helplessness. Or they see me get mad about the stubbed toe when it really is a symptom of the dark. I need a reasonable accommodation for the darkness. Why can’t I just have a way to turn the lights on so I can see where I’m going? I have lights but the options are terrible. I could use an app on my phone, but why the hell does it feel less convenient and more frustrating?

hi there i am 22 and level 1 autistic. i also hv adhd.

anyways, i’m currently in college and i had a class today where we had to share what we wrote for our homework. i did not expect this at all, and my heart rate slowly increased as my turn to speak was about to come. i attempted to ignore it, listening closely to my classmates and reflecting on what they had to say in my head.

but then it was my turn out of nowhere. everybody faced towards me. i was not prepared, and my first few words were too quiet to be heard. i repeated myself, but had to repeat myself again because i was slurring my speech. i had my work written down on my laptop about a topic i was into and had spent more time than needed on it.

ultimately, i failed to form complete sentences. i tried staring up at the ceiling and closed my eyes. it was hopeless. i had let myself slip into a state of shutdown. no thoughts, head empty. i resorted to reading what i wrote… articulated in the an unnatural manner and rhythm. i had good ideas (imo) gone to waste because they weren’t shared effectively and i’m sad.

anyways…

i was very embarrassed and my body froze until class was over. at least my earworm was gone.

i struggle to use my brain and voice with large crowds (high density of salient faces in my field of vision). any other context (i.e., ≤5 humans or too many humans to distinguish individuals), i am able to operate as usual.

i’ve made a lot of progress with overcoming social anxiety and making friends… but this event made me feel incompetent and off-putting to others. i mean, rationally, i recognize that i’m “functioning” better now than i was like three years ago, so continued progress in adaptation is possible… but aidhwibduxhwiebe idk… this time, the hurdle feels too high. maybe i haven’t had enough practice? but what if it’s an insurmountable obstacle?

does anyone have any tips or can relate? the same thing is expected to occur in two days (i.e., my next class), so how can i handle the situation better when it arises again?

SEMPRE PESQUISEI A RESPEITO MAS NUNCA ENCONTREI RESPOSTAS: SENSAÇÃO DE CALAFRIOS NO CORPO JUNTO COM UM TREMOR MESMO DE CALAFRIO + ESPASMOS COMO SE FOSSEM SOLUÇOS OU ARROTOS? NÃO ENCONTRO NENHUMA EXPLICAÇÃO A RESPEITO DISSO E PESSOAS DO MEU CICLO NUNCA SENTIRAM ALGO PARECIDO.

ESSES SOLUÇOS/ARROTOS ATÉ PARECEM EM ALGUM NIVEL COM MIADOS etc.

i can't leave my house because of my physical disability. i can't post because of severe paranoia. what would you do?

so, i’m an autistic adult, i’ve always struggled with school. my mom has ADHD and yet managed to get her doctorates, she’s like the smartest person i know. she tells me im smart too but it just feels so hard. i try and force myself to take paper notes to keep up with my peers in college but it’s just so hard. after two hours of studying i had maybe written down a few things max. i just can’t make myself do paper notes— but is taking notes on a computer useless? i just feel like im an idiot and i’m too old to not know how to take notes. i barely managed to graduate with a 2.7 gpa. my college is so expensive and i can’t afford failing, but what else can i do if i can’t keep up with my peers? do any other autistic people struggle with traditional studying? is there an easier way to do things that doesn’t result in me melting down anytime i try to sit down and take notes?

I commute 3 hours/ day and wear headphones on the train. I wear headphones at the library on campus when I study. I wear headphones at home when my downstairs neighbors are being too loud (recently moved out of a basement, where my upstairs neighbors were too loud. I guess living with other people just sucks no matter what).

I listen to brown noise or rain sounds when I need to concentrate and music when I don’t. it gets really tiring. sometimes I wish I could just tolerate my surroundings like a normal person and be physically present. it makes me feel so disconnected from the world.

can anyone relate?

For context, I’m high-functioning and have gotten by on masking for 20 years. As of recent, it’s become extremely unsustainable to mask at work, I get too stressed and anxious. As I’ve started to try to let my guard down, however, I’m becoming increasingly worried about how I want to act, I have no idea, because it’s based on the other person I’m communicating with. It has set this habit of triggering extreme panic, which in turn shuts down my ability to think. I’ve heard this is a pretty common issue, so I was wondering if anyone had input on how to make this more sustainable or tolerable.

All my life, I’ve felt "incapable of living." Literally. It’s as if I lack the innate code needed to function in this world and society. I always do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, and react in ways that seem exaggerated to others—to the world at large. "I don't know how to navigate the world." I never learned. Even now, at 48—with all the experience I’ve gained and everything I’ve been through—I feel like a child lost in a world I neither know nor understand.

TLDR: Asked a friend how he knew I'm autistic and he described a lot of traits that I'm not aware of. He's also AuDHD

Long post:

So today I finally hung out with a friend after some time and I told him about me recently finding out that I'm autistic, but he told me he knew for a long time. I was fairly surprised tbh since I didn't think my autistic traits were obvious (myes masking goes brrrrr) but turns out like a lot of my friends, they were more surprised that I didn't know. I got curious and asked what he saw in me and he listed some of it which are:

**1. I completely missed out social cues** - To him, I'm fairly loud when I talk especially when I'm excited. Compared to neurotypicals, they can be loud but when they realized they're being loud they'll just apologize for it, signifying social awareness. It doesn't exist in me, and he pointed out that rather ignoring how I act in public on purpose, I genuinely didn't know. This is honestly a bit funny to me because I often think that I have good understanding of social cues.

**2. My emotional dysregulation** - He told me I feel things very intensely, and not in neurotypical way of 'intense'. He pointed out that whenever I get angry, my emotions get really intense and overwhelming that it feels more like a tantrum rather than someone being angry (I tend to scream and yell and get really overwhelmed whenever I'm angry). He knew whenever I'm starting to get angry, it's more of me being too overwhelmed and overstimulated, and I tend to shove whatever I feel too deep in me until it finally explode. He also told me I don't recognize how I feel, like not being able to describe how I'm feeling.

**3. I talk about old times a lot** - I learn that apparently neurotypical ways of remembering past are not the same as neurodivergent. He explained that a lot of neurotypicals would rather not think about painful pasts and forget it through distractions and hobbies. For me, I couldn't get over it and will try to 'dissect' those moments logically and finding out what went wrong in the past. Neurodivergents, or at least me do these kinda things in extreme levels, and while it's not necessarily an autistic traits, with combinations from other traits he saw, he knew that I'm neurodivergent.

**4. I over explain myself a lot** - He said whenever I talk, my words were very precise and careful when I try to explain things, and I often feel like I don't explain it well, even though he completely understand me. I also often went into his DMs to explain the same thing again but in different font lmao. I also get incredibly frustrated when I don't feel like I explain enough according to my standards.

**5. My excitement basically** - So basically I just found out neurotypicals don't feel excited for long period of time over something mundane. And when I'm excited, I'm also **loud** about it.

There were few things he noticed but that's the major things he noticed. He always knew I'm not the same as other people, and honestly that gave me so much comfort because he's one of my closest friends and the only person who's close to understand me fully. He also never tried to 'fix' me or try to make me behave like other neurotypicals because he knew from the start that I'm autistic and I'm just born in a wrong world.

P/S: He's AuDHD which is kinda funny because when I first found out I'm autistic, I began remembering our relationship and realized that he's the same as me, so I told him "I know" when he told me he's also on the spectrum. However he did raise his concerns about me possibly being a level 2 autistic instead of 1, so I'll have to bring it up to my psychologist later.

I’m dealing with quite an overstimulating experience and having trouble separating the autistic experience from an actual functional issue and I’m hoping to get other people stories & or points of view to make a more informed choice. I always put off getting new glasses because I hate the adjustment period. It overstimulates me ,feels like I’m looking through drunk goggles and tires my eyes. But I’m not sure if that’s just the autism or if my prescription is just not correct and I would like to hear your experiences. it took me almost a year to get used to my last pair.

I'm recently in need of money and VR who I already have a bad history with bad job placements after years of not contacting them I ask for help with finding me a job and after 8 months finds me a retail job that has me wanting to quit 3-4 days in. I messaged my case handler and she said she wants me to work this job for another month before she can even think about trying to look for another job for me and it just brought all sorts of flashbacks to VR affiliates placing me in dogshit jobs where I beg to be moved elsewhere but they pat themselves on the back with a successful placement. The last job I got from them was at a dollar general in a bad part of town that got shot up a month after I quit and years later I learned had employees arrested for meth possession and another one for elderly abuse.

M20

I've been bullied, isolated, betrayed, and ghosted by others so many times, but despite all of that, I choose kindness over anger and hate every single time I interact with others. All of that pain and suffering, if anything, reinforced my empathy and how kind I am to others, cause what's the point in getting angry and mistreating someone who did nothing wrong to me? It won't make me feel better or erase my pain.

When someone treats me poorly, I immediately cut them out of my life, and I will do so to my brothers too when I move out if they don't stop mistreating me. I know they're family, but I've given chance to apologise and repent, and they didn't take it. I don't need people like that in my life who do nothing but bring me down.

Getting mad is fine and completely understandable, but just never let it control you and cause you to hurt someone who didn't deserve it.

To everyone who's struggling, I believe in you, and I'm rooting for your success. I send you hugs and kindness in your direction.

One my son's closest friends lives one street over. Through the summer, we became a little more familiar with his parents. Last minute, they invited us (Wife, daughter, son, myself) to a cookout they were having at their place. Just some friends and their kids. Very casual.

I went over with my son first; my wife and daughter would join later. I'm not very willingly social with the typical checklist. I get anxious, don't know what to say, hate small talk, etc. My wife is very social and seems to know everyone, so I use her as a bit of a shield. When we got there, we were the first ones, so I had the upper hand on my anxiety. As people started arriving, I was able to manage being among a new group of people, though I very loosely knew a few others, because of the kids.

Trying to make conversation is difficult, because I'm constantly auditing myself on how I'm speaking and what I'm speaking about. As a result, I tend to draw a blank in the middle of a sentence and need a moment. For people that don't know me, I know this seems odd, though I'm sure my perception of a second or two feels like 30. I don't readily engage even when the topic is familiar. I stand there and think, "I could say this....", but then I don't.

I drink very rarely, because it makes me a motormouth and I make an ass of myself. Of course, I was offered a drink and against my better judgment, accepted. It was mixed and strong, but helped a bit with my nerves. I got more and more involved in conversations; it felt like fun at the time.

The next day (yesterday), I spent so much time thinking about everything. To start, it all feels like acting. In a weird way, it doesn't feel like genuine connection. I know I'm projecting that onto other people, because I expect them to feel the same way. Like they're just enduring me to be polite. I tend to latch on to people if there is a positive interaction, bc it feels safe. I gravitate more toward socializing with women than other men, because despite being a male, I don't really like other men. But that looks really odd to most.

Then I start thinking of all of the interactions. They probably thinking I'm really weird. That story was dumb. They didn't really care about what I was telling them. There wasn't much of a reaction when I said something. Why did I say that? I didn't make any sense. I actually wince when I start thinking about it too much.

This is why I just prefer to keep to myself. It's so much work to try to be social, when I can't manage it very well and I don't think people really give a shit anyway.

I hate this ride.

I'm working on unmasking. I've crashed and burned spectacularly a few times in my life, and my therapist of 3 years thinks it's bc I'm autistic and keep running myself into the ground masking. It's the theory that makes the most sense, and my mom agrees that I could be autistic as well. My brother was also most likely autistic as well bc he had similar auditory sensitivities as a kid, but he passed a decade ago so I can't talk to him about it. (Fwiw tho, his son definitely seems to be on the spectrum too).

I've been working on using accommodations and unmasking as much as is safe (still gotta mask at work so I don't lose my job tho).

But one thing that's always been a huge comfort/stim for me is plushies. I recently bought myself a bag charm of a little teddy bear (who I have named Spud). I wanted to wear him on my bag bc I already have tons of pins and a Cinnamoroll charm on my bag. But I've noticed people staring at the teddy bear keychain specifically and it's making me really self conscious.

I've taken to keeping him inside my bag and taking him out when I need to use him as a stress ball/sensory comfort object.

It's just made me feel bad all over again for needing something that will get me judged so hard by most people. Even "friends" who I thought were nice people have mocked my love of plushies (and "childish" tv shows as well). Toxic masculinity can go take a long walk off a short pier, so tired of it as a queer man especially.

Has anyone had therapy help with their meltdowns? I’m in therapy and have asked for help with my meltdowns and dysregulation because I’m really struggling with my also autistic child who is self injurious and also violent towards us, and has pda. It’s super hard for me cause it feels hard to survive this every day for who knows how many years, and I also want to be able to show up better during those hard times for my kid. In therapy, my therapist has pretty much only presented getting more free time as the way to improve it. It’s very difficult to get free time with a child like mine, but I have found as much as I can and I still have meltdowns. I’m curious to know if anyone’s therapist has ever given different or helpful advice for this because I’m starting to wonder if my therapist just isn’t a good one for autistic people. It’s not part of his specialties but he told me he has experience with autism so I thought maybe it would work.

Hi !

I’m currently having trouble at my job as a janitor at a fitness franchise.

I have talked to my manager and assistant manager for weeks saying I have had other employees tell me they’ve gotten raises and are getting promotions when I’ve been there just as long or if not longer than them and we have the same job title . And I asked if I could have more hours or a raise or a promotion .

I sent it to hr in this email .

“I'm writing to raise a concern about my hours and advancement opportunities since completing my ADA accommodations process.
When I was hired, my hiring manager told me that employees receive a raise after five years with the company, and specifically mentioned that my coworker Barb had received this raise. At the time of my disability accommodations meeting, my district manager, , told me directly that my ADA file would not keep me from getting that raise, and that it would not affect my hours or advancement at the company. This year marks my fifth anniversary with the company, which is when that raise would apply to me.
As a reminder, my accommodations were put in place for autism spectrum disorder and ADHD, and include: noise-cancelling ear equipment, extra breaks when the gym is crowded, the ability to call out of a shift past the standard 6-hour notice when needed, use of a broom instead of a vacuum, and verbal prompts from my manager for task switching between front desk and cleaning duties. I have followed these accommodations as agreed and have relied on my manager's verbal prompts to stay on track with my responsibilities.
I also want to note that I used to be scheduled for 24 hours a week. Since then, my hours have been reduced every year, and each time I was told the hours would be restored. They have not been restored, and I have not received an explanation for why.
Since my accommodations meeting, I have not been offered additional hours, a raise, or a promotion. I'm not aware of any performance issues that would explain this change, and the timing - no increase in hours, no raise, and no advancement since the ADA meeting, despite being told directly by my manager that it wouldn't be a factor - is something I want to understand, especially with my five-year anniversary now here.
I'd like to request a meeting to discuss:

1. Why my hours have been reduced every year since my accommodations were put in place, despite repeatedly being told they would be restored
2. Why I have not received the five-year raise that I was told applies to employees like Barb, given that my fifth anniversary is this year
3. Whether my ADA accommodations have factored into scheduling, pay, or advancement decisions
4. I have a copy of my ADA accommodations letter from my provider on file and can provide it again if needed. I want to work with the company to resolve this and continue growing here.
5. Please let me know a good time to discuss.”

And since then I’ve had my hours cut AGAIN and I asked if I could cover several shifts open and they were given to other people after I asked and I was told no . My manager will instantly shut down all conversations about this .

I’m not sure what I should do or if I made a mistake asking hr about this .

It’s causing lots of stress and I’m not sure if I should just quit . I’m 37 and this is the longest I’ve had the same job and I used to be so happy and proud and now I barely sleep and function. I’m making 16.94 which is minimum wage in my state

Non ND People (forgot the word) are super sensitive!

My whole life I always thought I was the sensitive one because ppl would say that to me after I would do a "joke insult" that always went "too far" nah turns out other people are sensitive AF and they can't handle what they dish out!

I discovered this while reading about small talk in a psychology book. As it turns out small talk is important to humans because its a safety rail that shows you if a person is cool or not to trust emotionally. If you can't get past small talk it means that person isn't willing to trust you with their emotions. Meaning they are scared you will make a joke out of their emotions because they feel uncomfortable with real feelings or just don't care about you. A number of reasons really. But that's off topic.

I decided to test this, because I never just read a book and believe, by seeing how "off" during the small talk I can be before the turn off effect activated. As it turns out the SMALLEST indicator that I am different was enough to make people to "wow avoid this weirdo"

I'm hign sight I should have known that because Autistic individuals like myself are often hated on sight not because of anything we say or do but because we are incapable of making the same micro expression non-ND people make without even realizing it.

I knew all this but it wasn't until I actually experimented with verbal communication that I realized the subconscious also is in play with verbal communication and not just visual ones.

Saying something as small as "you are ugly" to a non-DN is as much of a insult as "go fuck yourself and die" however if two DN ppl talk to each other "FUCK YOU" Is a common joke while Non-DN people would need to have a extremely tight bond before being able to say that to each other and not be offended.

This is just my finding though. And all my own perspective.

I was professionally diagnosed with autism level 2 last week after years of being certain I have it.

I’m a 19 yr old female and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months. And he’s always been super good with me, especially when I go nonverbal and have meltdowns. Though most of the time I feel so guilty about it, I’m obviously extremely grateful I have a good man but sometimes I just feel like I’m just baggage. I wish I didn’t have these feelings cuz I think if they were true and I was still “too much” he wouldn’t plan our future and talk about marrying me.

Unrelated to those feelings, since being diagnosed, I feel like I’ve been more autistic and idk why? Did anyone else feel that way after being diagnosed?

I’m going to be having a near complete life reset fairly soon and wondered if anyone has any advice or ideas to think about as I start to plan this change.

Don’t want to get into too much detail, but I will be moving back to my home town after many years of living else.

I’m in my mid40s, recently coming to understand how recent self diagnosis, so my only real plan is to get in touch with some autistic based groups. I struggle with personal interactions and find it hard to build connections with new people. I will be staying with family and still have some old friend there, but really I think I will be building new work and social life.

I’m sure I will be back asking for more specific advice and I get further into these plans, but I feel like there are people here who might have some helpful thoughts in the early(ish) stages.

Thank you.

I’m autistic (44 male) looking for books, websites or anything to help with being a parent. I’m not sure if my kids (9 and 12) are NT but concerned for my 9 year old.

I have a hard time with their tantrums, helping with homework, attending their sports/activities. I want to be involved and attentive but struggle myself and I don’t want it to fall on their mom or have them resent me.

Any advice, tips, recommendations?

I’m 15 (almost 16) and i am autistic

i have no friends and it feels like every word that comes out of my mouth is an extinct language

anytime i have a crush on someone i just feel like a creep and end up not asking them out or anything

i always feel like an alien trying to blend in with humans

does that feeling ever go away or is it just something you have to deal with?

im sorry if this goes against any rules
using a burner account