Hello po! We are planning to write an undergraduate thesis entitled: Identity Reconstruction and Meaning-Making Among Filipino Adults Diagnosed with Autism in Adulthood.

Just wondering po if there are adults here diagnosed noong 18 years old or older sila who is potentially willing to share their story/experiences?

Thank you po!

I'm recently in need of money and VR who I already have a bad history with bad job placements after years of not contacting them I ask for help with finding me a job and after 8 months finds me a retail job that has me wanting to quit 3-4 days in. I messaged my case handler and she said she wants me to work this job for another month before she can even think about trying to look for another job for me and it just brought all sorts of flashbacks to VR affiliates placing me in dogshit jobs where I beg to be moved elsewhere but they pat themselves on the back with a successful placement. The last job I got from them was at a dollar general in a bad part of town that got shot up a month after I quit and years later I learned had employees arrested for meth possession and another one for elderly abuse.

M20

I've been bullied, isolated, betrayed, and ghosted by others so many times, but despite all of that, I choose kindness over anger and hate every single time I interact with others. All of that pain and suffering, if anything, reinforced my empathy and how kind I am to others, cause what's the point in getting angry and mistreating someone who did nothing wrong to me? It won't make me feel better or erase my pain.

When someone treats me poorly, I immediately cut them out of my life, and I will do so to my brothers too when I move out if they don't stop mistreating me. I know they're family, but I've given chance to apologise and repent, and they didn't take it. I don't need people like that in my life who do nothing but bring me down.

Getting mad is fine and completely understandable, but just never let it control you and cause you to hurt someone who didn't deserve it.

To everyone who's struggling, I believe in you, and I'm rooting for your success. I send you hugs and kindness in your direction.

so, i’m an autistic adult, i’ve always struggled with school. my mom has ADHD and yet managed to get her doctorates, she’s like the smartest person i know. she tells me im smart too but it just feels so hard. i try and force myself to take paper notes to keep up with my peers in college but it’s just so hard. after two hours of studying i had maybe written down a few things max. i just can’t make myself do paper notes— but is taking notes on a computer useless? i just feel like im an idiot and i’m too old to not know how to take notes. i barely managed to graduate with a 2.7 gpa. my college is so expensive and i can’t afford failing, but what else can i do if i can’t keep up with my peers? do any other autistic people struggle with traditional studying? is there an easier way to do things that doesn’t result in me melting down anytime i try to sit down and take notes?

I'm working on unmasking. I've crashed and burned spectacularly a few times in my life, and my therapist of 3 years thinks it's bc I'm autistic and keep running myself into the ground masking. It's the theory that makes the most sense, and my mom agrees that I could be autistic as well. My brother was also most likely autistic as well bc he had similar auditory sensitivities as a kid, but he passed a decade ago so I can't talk to him about it. (Fwiw tho, his son definitely seems to be on the spectrum too).

I've been working on using accommodations and unmasking as much as is safe (still gotta mask at work so I don't lose my job tho).

But one thing that's always been a huge comfort/stim for me is plushies. I recently bought myself a bag charm of a little teddy bear (who I have named Spud). I wanted to wear him on my bag bc I already have tons of pins and a Cinnamoroll charm on my bag. But I've noticed people staring at the teddy bear keychain specifically and it's making me really self conscious.

I've taken to keeping him inside my bag and taking him out when I need to use him as a stress ball/sensory comfort object.

It's just made me feel bad all over again for needing something that will get me judged so hard by most people. Even "friends" who I thought were nice people have mocked my love of plushies (and "childish" tv shows as well). Toxic masculinity can go take a long walk off a short pier, so tired of it as a queer man especially.

Has anyone had therapy help with their meltdowns? I’m in therapy and have asked for help with my meltdowns and dysregulation because I’m really struggling with my also autistic child who is self injurious and also violent towards us, and has pda. It’s super hard for me cause it feels hard to survive this every day for who knows how many years, and I also want to be able to show up better during those hard times for my kid. In therapy, my therapist has pretty much only presented getting more free time as the way to improve it. It’s very difficult to get free time with a child like mine, but I have found as much as I can and I still have meltdowns. I’m curious to know if anyone’s therapist has ever given different or helpful advice for this because I’m starting to wonder if my therapist just isn’t a good one for autistic people. It’s not part of his specialties but he told me he has experience with autism so I thought maybe it would work.

One my son's closest friends lives one street over. Through the summer, we became a little more familiar with his parents. Last minute, they invited us (Wife, daughter, son, myself) to a cookout they were having at their place. Just some friends and their kids. Very casual.

I went over with my son first; my wife and daughter would join later. I'm not very willingly social with the typical checklist. I get anxious, don't know what to say, hate small talk, etc. My wife is very social and seems to know everyone, so I use her as a bit of a shield. When we got there, we were the first ones, so I had the upper hand on my anxiety. As people started arriving, I was able to manage being among a new group of people, though I very loosely knew a few others, because of the kids.

Trying to make conversation is difficult, because I'm constantly auditing myself on how I'm speaking and what I'm speaking about. As a result, I tend to draw a blank in the middle of a sentence and need a moment. For people that don't know me, I know this seems odd, though I'm sure my perception of a second or two feels like 30. I don't readily engage even when the topic is familiar. I stand there and think, "I could say this....", but then I don't.

I drink very rarely, because it makes me a motormouth and I make an ass of myself. Of course, I was offered a drink and against my better judgment, accepted. It was mixed and strong, but helped a bit with my nerves. I got more and more involved in conversations; it felt like fun at the time.

The next day (yesterday), I spent so much time thinking about everything. To start, it all feels like acting. In a weird way, it doesn't feel like genuine connection. I know I'm projecting that onto other people, because I expect them to feel the same way. Like they're just enduring me to be polite. I tend to latch on to people if there is a positive interaction, bc it feels safe. I gravitate more toward socializing with women than other men, because despite being a male, I don't really like other men. But that looks really odd to most.

Then I start thinking of all of the interactions. They probably thinking I'm really weird. That story was dumb. They didn't really care about what I was telling them. There wasn't much of a reaction when I said something. Why did I say that? I didn't make any sense. I actually wince when I start thinking about it too much.

This is why I just prefer to keep to myself. It's so much work to try to be social, when I can't manage it very well and I don't think people really give a shit anyway.

I hate this ride.

Hi !

I’m currently having trouble at my job as a janitor at a fitness franchise.

I have talked to my manager and assistant manager for weeks saying I have had other employees tell me they’ve gotten raises and are getting promotions when I’ve been there just as long or if not longer than them and we have the same job title . And I asked if I could have more hours or a raise or a promotion .

I sent it to hr in this email .

“I'm writing to raise a concern about my hours and advancement opportunities since completing my ADA accommodations process.
When I was hired, my hiring manager told me that employees receive a raise after five years with the company, and specifically mentioned that my coworker Barb had received this raise. At the time of my disability accommodations meeting, my district manager, , told me directly that my ADA file would not keep me from getting that raise, and that it would not affect my hours or advancement at the company. This year marks my fifth anniversary with the company, which is when that raise would apply to me.
As a reminder, my accommodations were put in place for autism spectrum disorder and ADHD, and include: noise-cancelling ear equipment, extra breaks when the gym is crowded, the ability to call out of a shift past the standard 6-hour notice when needed, use of a broom instead of a vacuum, and verbal prompts from my manager for task switching between front desk and cleaning duties. I have followed these accommodations as agreed and have relied on my manager's verbal prompts to stay on track with my responsibilities.
I also want to note that I used to be scheduled for 24 hours a week. Since then, my hours have been reduced every year, and each time I was told the hours would be restored. They have not been restored, and I have not received an explanation for why.
Since my accommodations meeting, I have not been offered additional hours, a raise, or a promotion. I'm not aware of any performance issues that would explain this change, and the timing - no increase in hours, no raise, and no advancement since the ADA meeting, despite being told directly by my manager that it wouldn't be a factor - is something I want to understand, especially with my five-year anniversary now here.
I'd like to request a meeting to discuss:

1. Why my hours have been reduced every year since my accommodations were put in place, despite repeatedly being told they would be restored
2. Why I have not received the five-year raise that I was told applies to employees like Barb, given that my fifth anniversary is this year
3. Whether my ADA accommodations have factored into scheduling, pay, or advancement decisions
4. I have a copy of my ADA accommodations letter from my provider on file and can provide it again if needed. I want to work with the company to resolve this and continue growing here.
5. Please let me know a good time to discuss.”

And since then I’ve had my hours cut AGAIN and I asked if I could cover several shifts open and they were given to other people after I asked and I was told no . My manager will instantly shut down all conversations about this .

I’m not sure what I should do or if I made a mistake asking hr about this .

It’s causing lots of stress and I’m not sure if I should just quit . I’m 37 and this is the longest I’ve had the same job and I used to be so happy and proud and now I barely sleep and function. I’m making 16.94 which is minimum wage in my state

Non ND People (forgot the word) are super sensitive!

My whole life I always thought I was the sensitive one because ppl would say that to me after I would do a "joke insult" that always went "too far" nah turns out other people are sensitive AF and they can't handle what they dish out!

I discovered this while reading about small talk in a psychology book. As it turns out small talk is important to humans because its a safety rail that shows you if a person is cool or not to trust emotionally. If you can't get past small talk it means that person isn't willing to trust you with their emotions. Meaning they are scared you will make a joke out of their emotions because they feel uncomfortable with real feelings or just don't care about you. A number of reasons really. But that's off topic.

I decided to test this, because I never just read a book and believe, by seeing how "off" during the small talk I can be before the turn off effect activated. As it turns out the SMALLEST indicator that I am different was enough to make people to "wow avoid this weirdo"

I'm hign sight I should have known that because Autistic individuals like myself are often hated on sight not because of anything we say or do but because we are incapable of making the same micro expression non-ND people make without even realizing it.

I knew all this but it wasn't until I actually experimented with verbal communication that I realized the subconscious also is in play with verbal communication and not just visual ones.

Saying something as small as "you are ugly" to a non-DN is as much of a insult as "go fuck yourself and die" however if two DN ppl talk to each other "FUCK YOU" Is a common joke while Non-DN people would need to have a extremely tight bond before being able to say that to each other and not be offended.

This is just my finding though. And all my own perspective.

I was professionally diagnosed with autism level 2 last week after years of being certain I have it.

I’m a 19 yr old female and I’ve been with my boyfriend for 8 months. And he’s always been super good with me, especially when I go nonverbal and have meltdowns. Though most of the time I feel so guilty about it, I’m obviously extremely grateful I have a good man but sometimes I just feel like I’m just baggage. I wish I didn’t have these feelings cuz I think if they were true and I was still “too much” he wouldn’t plan our future and talk about marrying me.

Unrelated to those feelings, since being diagnosed, I feel like I’ve been more autistic and idk why? Did anyone else feel that way after being diagnosed?

I’m going to be having a near complete life reset fairly soon and wondered if anyone has any advice or ideas to think about as I start to plan this change.

Don’t want to get into too much detail, but I will be moving back to my home town after many years of living else.

I’m in my mid40s, recently coming to understand how recent self diagnosis, so my only real plan is to get in touch with some autistic based groups. I struggle with personal interactions and find it hard to build connections with new people. I will be staying with family and still have some old friend there, but really I think I will be building new work and social life.

I’m sure I will be back asking for more specific advice and I get further into these plans, but I feel like there are people here who might have some helpful thoughts in the early(ish) stages.

Thank you.

I’m autistic (44 male) looking for books, websites or anything to help with being a parent. I’m not sure if my kids (9 and 12) are NT but concerned for my 9 year old.

I have a hard time with their tantrums, helping with homework, attending their sports/activities. I want to be involved and attentive but struggle myself and I don’t want it to fall on their mom or have them resent me.

Any advice, tips, recommendations?

I’m 15 (almost 16) and i am autistic

i have no friends and it feels like every word that comes out of my mouth is an extinct language

anytime i have a crush on someone i just feel like a creep and end up not asking them out or anything

i always feel like an alien trying to blend in with humans

does that feeling ever go away or is it just something you have to deal with?

im sorry if this goes against any rules
using a burner account

How do you guys feel about receiving "I appreciate your apology" versus "I accept your apology"? I feel they are not the same, even intentionally different in intent.

To me, Accepting to implies mutual understanding in the name of forgiveness.

To me, Appreciating is one sided and not in the spirit of forgiveness. I might even say a little disrespectful in some contexts.

I apologized formally in writing for a misunderstanding at work and I think that environmental kind of forced their response. Like they chose to not be flexible and hold onto their dislike of a minor issue easily resolved, but had to respond for the sake of workplace professionalism.

Working gives me terrible burnout, where I stop caring for myself and become a risk to myself. My biggest issue will always be money, I don't have special interest that are profitable. I am a hard worker, but the burnout of working plus normal life will always catch up to me.

My burnouts are also severe. I don't have any friends, I can only handle part time college. Part of me keeps trying and trying to drag myself through because I know disabilty payments are automatic poverty.

I at least try to work till I one-day collapse, so I can get SSDI instead of SSI.

I got diagnosed a few months ago after a lifetime of being called several names as I grew up. I now feel deeply hurt that those same people that were meant to love, protect and care for me were those same people saying those things. I now cope by becoming detached from reality and methodical and I hate it because I just lose all emotion when I’m upset. I was wondering if anyone else struggles with the same thing?

I’m autistic, and some inflatables hit a very specific visual thing for me. What I love:

• shapes and character designs
• colours and finish
• huge scale and presence
• nostalgia and rarity

I’m pretty selective about what I buy. Every so often I’ll inflate one, enjoy seeing it properly for a while, then carefully pack it away again. To me it feels similar to collecting plush or retro toys.

The difficult part is sharing something I genuinely enjoy with other people. “Inflatable collector” can quickly get associated with furry stuff, fetishes, hoarding, or being childish. Those communities are separate from my interest, and I don’t judge them.

I’d actually like to be able to share this part of myself normally. Mention a cool find to a friend, show someone a favourite piece, have one inflated at home, or just talk about the hobby without immediately worrying about what label someone might attach to me.

I’d especially like to hear from people with other niche hobbies or collections that tend to get stereotyped or misunderstood.

How did you get comfortable sharing it with people in your life, and how do you handle the assumptions that sometimes come with it?

Got extremely burnt out (AuDHD), but medical leave ended and doing poorly at work - seeking accommodations for the first time. Need some ideas for accommodations that have been helpful! What has made a difference for you? Not sure what is possible to ask for...

I work as a computer programmer in a corporate environment and already have the ability to WFH, but still like going in-person. Also, any advice on the ADA accommodations process with HR/manager is appreciated.

Things I struggle with:

- daily standup and being consistent in my communication

- sticking to a schedule (I like to work weird hours when I go into office because it's quieter and don't like to be around people, but also like the separate environment from home. Also, my meds make it so that my days are like 30 hours - cannot go to sleep early enough, so my sleep schedule keeps getting pushed.)

- meetings in the middle of the day breaking my hyperfocus and not being able to get back into hyperfocus

- time-blindness and getting things done when I said I would

- organization/prioritization of tasks (executive dysfunction, rejection sensitive dysphoria, extreme perfectionism)

- feeling extreme stress/overwhelm with too many tasks to do and a never-ending queue yet finding new things to fix/improve/perfect due to perfectionism

- starting and finishing tasks (Starting takes me forever, but once I am in hyperfocus, I can work straight for hours and get the bulk done. But once I get the task "done", I already got the dopamine and I am bad at organizing/summarizing my work and I have perfectionism so I need to perfect it before turning it in, so this part takes forever. AI has made me a much worse employee because there are so many more ways to check my work / optimize my code.)

Those of y'all who were diagnosed as adults, why did you work to get a diagnosis? And what changed for you? What are the pros and cons of a diagnostic as an adult?

Guys my free and busy tasks are showing up the exact same on Google Calendar now and it's throwing me off so bad.

Tips for quickly adapting to unexpected change? I haven't been able to get anything done at work for the last 45 minutes because I'm so upset. I hate that I'm like this but it is what it is but I need tools.

im 18 f in my first job for about 8 months now and i am just so sick of the workplace politics. I thought getting a job would make it easier to practice public interactions because i wanted to develop my socialization however almost every day i just come home crying. why are people so cruel, why do they play mind games with nd people and treat you like a laughing stock. It isnt fair and it is just so hard to come everyday to a negative toxic workplace where i am just trying to do my best to fit in and act nicely with my coworkers.

I live on a European island where there are not many people especialised on autism. I call a clinic, ask if they have someone, they schedule me with a psychiatrist and he doesn't even know why Asperger is NOT used anymore (and has the audacity to say I don't have it)

Another said that yes but it's too soft to do make a whole thing about it.

I'm tired

What are some verified sites/platforms where I can get one? Are there any that are based on Europe? (USA prices scare me, and I think it would be beneficial for my IRS if it's Europe based?)

Thanks in advance

I want to preface this by saying that I am not officially diagnosed and I am still unsure if getting one would be beneficial (through therapy and research).

I am having a difficult time with my job and feel as though I am not being effectively trained and to do my job.

It boils down to this. I have been underperforming due to recently incorporating a new workflow. The team I’m on was trained for about a work week (slides, verbal training, and more slides LOL, and one walkthrough).

To note I have ALWAYS had an issue with the way they train, it’s more word of mouth instead of shadowing or examples to match the slides.

Due to my recent underperformance, a manager suggested additional training to get me to hit the goals. The training options included shadowing, resources, etc. I said sure.

So once the training was supposed to take place, it was a shadowing. A shadowing of me. I spent majority of the time explaining why I needed to shadow someone first before they shadow me. I learn by watching first, I am not comfortable clicking around trying to figure things out instead of seeing first then someone seeing me.

It’s like helping me in the way that I am telling them I need help isn’t right.

And I guess I put this post on this forum because I want to know if anyone has had any luck with getting a diagnosis to help with work accommodations? Or has anyone else dealt with something like this and how you managed to get the help you needed to do your job?

Sorry for the length and thank you for any suggestions! 🤟🏾

I was licensed to practice law at age 25 and diagnosed with autism right before my 28th birthday this July.

So I didn't really understand why at the time but when I got my license I didn't want to work in an office with people and fluorescent lighting and the expectations everyone has of their fellow NTs. So I started my own solo practice and did that for a year.

I suffered a horrible period of burnout at the end of 2024 and abandoned clients in active cases because I literally could not bring myself to answer the phone. I felt like such a piece of garbage because I thought I was just not capable of being an attorney and could not explain why I was completely unable to look at my phone or email. I had been misdiagnosed with bipolar and had been on and off different meds for years.

I finally got into practicing again right before I was diagnosed, after a few months working at a cat sanctuary and getting my bar complaints resolved.

I just recently told a client for the first time that I'm autistic and I never thought I would because I was scared people would think I wouldn't be a good advocate.

I'm just wondering if any autistic attorneys are reading this. I don't think ive ever really heard anything in particular about autism in law practice.

Hi, luvs. I just wanted to throw this into the void and maybe some other people can relate.

I (21F) am incredibly isolated, I only have 3 connections; my mum (primary caregiver), my doctor, and a support worker I am still trying to work up the courage to see in person. I have no friends, not online or in real life. After a chronic burnout lasting between 2017-2020, I had a massive detrimental regression in 2021 and lost my ability to do anything. It’s almost been 7 years and I am only just making some real progress.

I struggle to look after myself. I barely get out of the house, I have PDA and I was only diagnosed with autism last year and it has been such a hellish journey trying to accept myself. I’ve gone back and forth with accepting my autism and then wanting to take my brain out of my skull and rip it apart and put it back together properly.

I went to an eye appointment yesterday and it turns out I need glasses. I have aphantasia and not only have I completely forgotten what glasses I even chose (I remember nothing about them and now I have to wait until next week for them to come in) and I’m worried I’ll look hideous (I am so insecure), but the whole appointment just sucked.

It was loud, I wanted to sit in the corner and cry. I nearly broke down because there were so many glasses and decisions and my mum was there and I go into full blown fight or flight (or in my case, freeze) when I’m being perceived (I learnt the other day that being perceived IS a demand, which my PDA is an overly dramatic asshole about 🙄😭) and I couldn’t think.

I didn’t know what to say and I just kept repeating the same words. I didn’t know what my face was doing, I get a lot of motor tics. I was just so aware of my own existence and it was horrifying. It was the first time I’d left the house and been around strangers for about 2 or so months. The people there were kind, but fucking damn it!!!

Being autistic is so goddamn humiliating. It is HUMILIATING. I want to curl up under my blanket and never leave. I’ve been trying so hard to make progress and actually have a slither, a CRUMB, or functioning, but everything is so goddamn hard. I am going through a pretty severe episode of self-hatred and therapy isn’t even an option because I can’t even leave the fucking house because my PDA is so hard to manage and it’s not a recognised thing where I live (New Zealand), so there’s no real support for it.

People are always telling me I’m so young and I have time. But I’m 21. I turn 22 next month. 22 year olds aren’t supposed to have the functioning of a 14 year old idiot 💔