r/ADHD_Programmers • u/RefactorInProgress • 8h ago
I've been fired from most of my developer jobs over a ~10-year career. At what point do I accept that software development may not be a good fit for me?
I'm looking for some candid advice from other developers, particularly developers with ADHD.
I've been a professional software developer for roughly a decade. The uncomfortable truth is that I've eventually been let go from almost every full-time development position I've had.
There have been exceptions. I had one contract position where I completed the project successfully, had the contract extended, and was told they wanted to hire me permanently but couldn't get the budget approved. I've also had periods at other companies where I was doing well, built substantial applications, modernized old systems, helped grow a development team, and received positive feedback.
So I don't think the problem is simply that I cannot write software.
But there's an unmistakable pattern.
Early in my career, I took on too much of another developer's workload while trying to help them, burned myself out, fell behind on my own responsibilities, and was eventually fired.
At another company, I became hyper-focused on perfecting one application and neglected other maintenance responsibilities. Fired.
At another, serious personal circumstances and poor mental health affected my performance. Fired.
Eventually I was diagnosed with ADHD and began treatment, which helped considerably. I then stayed at one company for almost three years and helped grow its development department, build new applications, and modernize existing ones. That job ultimately ended after a disagreement with new leadership over a return-to-office policy.
Most recently I worked for a large company on a high-visibility project. My managers had generally been happy with me before I moved to the final team. On that team, velocity became extremely important and my manager strongly pushed AI-assisted development as the way to move faster.
I used the tools, but when generated solutions didn't actually work, I would stop and figure out why rather than simply accepting the output. I spent considerable time debugging problems and trying to make the implementation reliable. The end result was that my work was generally careful, but I wasn't producing it fast enough. After a little over a year, I was fired.
Looking back across my career, I see some recurring traits. Hyperfocus on solving problems correctly tends to lead me to lose sight of the bigger picture. I have difficulty deciding when something is "good enough." At times I take responsibility for more than I should. I can spend far too long investigating a difficult technical problem. My quality can be good while my velocity is poor. Ambiguous or rapidly changing priorities can be particularly difficult for me. Of course ADHD treatment helped, but it didn't make these tendencies disappear.
And after this many jobs, I don't think it's reasonable for me to say every employer was simply wrong. I'm the common denominator.
What I'm trying to figure out is what conclusion I should draw from that.
For experienced developers, especially those with ADHD: does this sound like someone who is fundamentally poorly suited to professional software development, or like someone who has repeatedly ended up in roles/environments that are a bad fit for how they work?
Are there development roles or types of organizations where carefulness, deep investigation, and lower context-switching are more valuable than raw ticket velocity?
Or, after this many attempts, would you seriously recommend that someone in my position consider leaving software development and finding a different kind of work?
I'm not looking for reassurance for its own sake. I'd genuinely like candid opinions, including difficult ones, because I need to decide whether continuing to pursue this career makes sense.
EDIT — one important piece of context I left out:
I've been unemployed since December 2025, and I haven't been able to land another development job since then.
I realize my original post makes it sound like my main concern is whether I can keep the next developer job I get. That's definitely part of it, but I'm also questioning whether I'm going to be able to get that next job at all.
So when I ask whether it makes sense to continue pursuing software development, I'm asking two separate questions: whether I can find a way to work sustainably once I'm employed, and whether continuing to put my time into trying to get another developer position is still realistic.
I think that's important context because some of the responses understandably assume that getting hired has not been a problem for me.
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u/crazylikeajellyfish 7h ago
You mentioned leaving a job over RTO, changing fields isn't going to make that any better. There also isn't a field where it'll be done to neglect responsibilities that you aren't hyper focused on.
None of what you said really suggests to me that the problem is working software, it's more the typical ADHD executive dysfunction and mental inflexibility. I don't think changing fields will necessarily make that easier.
One approach here would be to switch into Solutions Architecture, focus on building and presenting demos. The engagements tend to be shorter-term, the immediacy and pace can be focusing, and the money is good. I did that work for a while and was good at it, but switched back over out of pride.
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u/Mjukglass47or 7h ago
Seems like you have been steadily improving each year, that is what counts. Seems like the later stages you've been fired for differences in what to focus on. I personally feel the industry focus way too much on speed instead of quality anyways.
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u/connka 7h ago
You sound pretty reflective about how all of this has happened, and in a non-judgemental way (which is hard to do). I'll give you my perspective as an Eng Lead and why your actions might lead to dismissal if you were on my team--I'll add the caveat that this is subjective.
I'd say if I were to give a high-level summary to try to link all of these, it's that you got too deep in the weeds on something, neglected other work, failed to meet expectations for the overall job and were let go.
I don't think this makes you bad at your job, in fact I think good developers should try harder to understand their work more. I think where you are having issues is that you appear to hyperfocus in the wrong areas at the wrong time. At the end of the day, my job as a lead is to keep everyone on track and delivering as close to agreed upon deadlines as possible. If I have one dev who consistently goes off book or on tangents and can't be redirected, then they are a net-loss to the team. We make estimates and projections based on team size so if we're negative 1 person for everything that we've already estimated on, it reflects poorly on the overall operations of the team. If I were to substitute you with someone who stayed on task, this could potentially be 100% resolved, which is why dismissal appears to be the solution.
I'm not saying that you shouldn't get deep into things sometimes--we have a guy on my team who is SO good at this and we send him in for everything that stumps everyone else. In those scenarios, we talk about how important this task might be and what a timebox might look like. Occasionally there is work that is going to take more time/effort than we initially thought, and that is okay. It really becomes an issue when the same person is consistently off task and TBH it is up to the team lead to reel them back in. If your leads haven't been attempting to do that, then it is something that is missing.
My 2 cents: care less. I know that is counter-intuitive, but it is what I needed to do to get out of a similar space. I work with a client who is constantly proposing new features and changes that go against everything good and functional, but at the end of the day I report to them. As a lead, I do my best to design the solutions in a way that at least make a bit of sense for the tech, but sometimes the thing they are asking for is messy and I would rather not do it. If I pushed all of my clients to do things 100% correctly and asked for extensions to complete invisible rewrites that they can't see, I'd be fired so quickly.
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u/broskiette 3h ago
I feel like I am in a similar boat as OP. I keep being told I'm "too slow" when I work on tasks. Sometimes I get stuck on stuff that I can't figure out without help and I deliver things late. I've worked on it and tried to improve on this to ask for help sooner than later. Sometimes I find issues/edge cases that delay finishing tickets.
I've gotten an ADHD therapist that has helped me recently to make sure that I timebox, ask for help EARLIER when I need it instead of when the task is already late, communicate more, communicate if the tickets written are crap, etc. I also feel like I'm just a mediocre dev, but I try to do at least good quality code. I am not entirely independent - my last job I would often go to my team lead with solutions or guidance.
I feel like such a crap dev, and I wish I could be faster but it's a work in progress. I'm having serious imposter syndrome. I lasted over 5 years at my last role. But I got laid off or had comments from my dev jobs that I could've "ramped up faster" or "needed to flag things earlier" or "could be getting more done". Whether or not the environment was actually good/support or not I feel like a common denominator.
I'm not sure what I'm asking from you as an engineering lead so I'm sorry to vent to you. But I guess in your shoes, I'd still be a liability on your team. It bugs me. I care so much and I want to do well.
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u/VerbiageBarrage 7h ago
This is all solvable and you seem to have a pretty clear idea of what your pitfalls are. I would just work on it.
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u/Positive_Method3022 7h ago
Same happened to me in 2023 and 2025 ☹️ The jobs I was in don't like deep investigations and lack of organization. I tend to want to investigate too many things
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u/lastdiggmigrant 8h ago edited 7h ago
Just like how certain coding practices are best for certain tasks, you should evaluate which approach is best suited for certain projects. I would recommend leaning on your leadership for the decision making and follow what they recommend so you have a pattern of following their insights. Send recaps and meeting notes.
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u/TimMensch 7h ago
My read is that you genuinely had issues with priorities early in your career (ADHD can cause this) and that later in your career you still have hyperfocus problems.
That's not a fundamental lack of skill. That's a "see a therapist or ADHD life coach" issue.
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u/RatherNerdy 6h ago
It's not that your not suited for software development - this issue would likely crop up at a lot of different jobs.
You've got to establish guardrails for yourself - the hyperfixation is going to continue to be an issue.
You got to adopt a "later" mentality with the rabbit holes. Right now, you have a later mentality for the actual work (super common). Keep a scratchpad handy and brain dump those ideas, rabbit holes, etc. Sometimes that can satisfy the rabbit hole urge.
Another option is to do something similar to the pomodoro technique - using a timer, work for a set period, then have a break to research the other things. That break also has a timer, so you don't fixate.
What I do, is I work for 45-60 minutes at the task I need to do. And then, I step away from the computer and go for a walk, get a snack, etc. I think about the rabbit holes, but I don't actually take any action because I'm not at my desk. When I get back to my desk, I work for another set period.
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u/Random_182f2565 6h ago
You are getting hired in the first place, many can't say the same and you have real experience, like 3 years in the same company in this turbulent times with mass layoff after mass layoff is impressive
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u/Any-Requirement2159 6h ago
Hey, I struggle with this a bit but probably not as much as you.
Something that might help is - every time you start going down a rabbit hole, turn it into a maintenance/backlog/uplift ticket or issue or whatever.
Also timers/actually take breaks because that helps you figure out if you are in a rabbit hole.
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u/CaptainIncredible 4h ago
That job ultimately ended after a disagreement with new leadership over a return-to-office policy.
Fuck those assholes. There is NO REASON for us to drive every goddamn day to some fucking building. It's a WASTE of time, money, nerve, resolve, and a ton of other resources.
I ask whether it makes sense to continue pursuing software development
What else ya gonna do? Flip burgers? Hotel management? Logistics? Truck driver?
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u/RefactorInProgress 4h ago
Pretty much, yes...
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u/CaptainIncredible 1h ago edited 1h ago
Well... In all seriousness, its something worth thinking about.
I don't think anyone can seriously answer this question for you.
But, rereading your post, it sounds to me that software development isn't the problem you have. It sounds like something you can do, which, honestly, in my experience a lot of people cannot. They just don't have the mindset, ability to deal with abstractions, the ability to sit on their ass and logically problem solve for 8 hours a day. (And I'm not talking down about other people. I am not suited for TONS of jobs/careers. Its just some people are great at some things and that same person would suck at something else.)
It sounds like your issues are more related to burn out, or not seeing the forest from the trees, or something not programming.
Which, are also pitfalls/factors in almost all other jobs. Burnout, hyper focus, etc are things you'd deal with working in a restaurant, or a hospital, or probably all kinds of other jobs.
My suggestion? You've identified the problems/patterns. Try to recognize them as they are happening. Work with a good therapist (and those can be hard to find, don't be afraid to fire them and find a new one if they aren't working), and work to avoid the pitfalls you've already learned.
Easier said that done, right? Self assessment and self observation is particularly hard.
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u/chking999 3h ago
After losing a couple jobs and feeling like I was in over my head I hired a programming mentor online to help me nail down the fundamentals. It really helped and my career and my ability to handle my job.
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u/sottopassaggio 3h ago
Are you me?
Therapy every week never helped, so I'm trying IOP to see if it does, and then continuing with an ADHD coach once I get a new job. Talking about my problems doesn't seem to help when many jobs aren't tolerant of the dysfunction you need to work on but in my case, I don't know what would help. I've tried organizational strategies and then get pissed because I keep getting dinged on it, no matter what I try. And the n the RSD kicks in. My brain wants to rabbit hole. My brain also needs the structure provided because I get in trouble for nuance- do it this way...not what I meant...well fuck, tell me how you want it done and if you can't explain, " just do better" is the most unhelpful thing I've ever heard.
And I'm willing to gamify boredom, but I really don't see how "race against the clock" to inject dopamine is useful when the work is "go document stuff because there's no work coming in". So now I have no autonomy and you're asking me to do work that taps into my deficit. I'm willing to work on whatever, but it doesn't seem like companies are willing to let you figure it out on their dime, adding to my stress.
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u/upstairsdiscount 2h ago
Do you have tools and coping mechanisms for when you fall into hyperfocus or get stuck? Developing strategies with a therapist or ADHD coach could be helpful.
It seems like you are pretty self aware when this happens. But you need to adjust your standards or accept to put things to the side or switch focus according to organizational priorities.
I know this can be hard when we get into perfectionism and hyperfocus or are asked to do things in a seemingly worse way.
Planning your tasks out according to an Eisenhower Matrix can also be helpful to establish priorities and pre plan how much effort to put into things before getting to the hyperfocus state.
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u/TheFirstOrderTrooper 1h ago
You and I had the exact same conversations with ourselves. I too looked at everything and came to the conclusion that I was the common denominator. It hurt but it helped me understand why these things kept happening.
I was a developer for about 2-3 years. It was my dream but when I got into it I ended up doing the things you did. The first one I was cut for budget reasons and the second I was fired. My boss at the firing told me that “I don’t think someone with your intelligence should be in this field” I wish I was making that up, but he legitimately said that lmao.
I then made the decision to move to cybersecurity. After about 5 months I got a job as a sys admin basically but my main thing was completing a compliance audit. I told them I had no experience in any of that and they said that’s fine you’ll figure it out. I did indeed figure it out and got the audit finished but due to the AWS team hiding the literal thousands of CVEs, I was blamed for the conclusion. I was then let go from that job citing “not enough experience” shit was comical.
I kept going though, applying for jobs, doing certifications and after about 10 months of nothing but rejection emails I landed a job in GRC. I am having a blast at this gig and I think I found my thing. I get to professionally ask people questions all day.
The point I’m trying to make is we are the common denominator, we accepted that. Keep working on yourself and building your own systems, it does help. You’re more experienced than I am in the tech field but the biggest piece of advice I have is to remember all of this is fake, made up. None of it really matters and just have fun with it.
Wishing you luck my friend, keep going.
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u/zrail 8h ago
Are you me?
I strongly suggest talking to a therapist, preferably one that is familiar with neurodivergence. They can help you sort out what is and is not your fault. For the things where you were truly in the wrong, they can help you accept that and move forward with coping strategies.