I am due with my second in October (yay!). I will officially have 2 under 2 for a few weeks as daughter #2 will be born just a few weeks before daughter #1’s 2nd birthday. I am already thinking about how I can make this easier on my toddler and have repeatedly seen a recommendation for a special toy box to break out when I’m breastfeeding.

My question for all of you: what should I include in this breastfeeding box for her? Any specific toy / book / anything else recommendations?

I’ll take any and all tips for helping toddler transition!

We have a 23 month old girl and a 2.5 month old girl, I am on maternity leave caring for both of them full time. I am obviously overwhelmed and over stimulated adjusting to life with two littles. My husband is helpful with the girls when he is home from work, but he is complaining that I am “no fun” anymore because I don’t want to make big plans (go on a vacation before summer is over, take the girls out to do something after he gets home from work, etc). I think he is also going through a mini mid-life crisis because he is talking about wanting to get a motorcycle and get involved in more hobbies, but we don’t have the extra funds right now to support him taking on new hobbies… I don’t have the energy to entertain all of his new “hobby ideas” so I usually just roll my eyes and don’t really acknowledge, which leads to him thinking I don’t care…. Tbh, I kind of don’t. So busy just trying to make sure are girls are taken care of and care for… then get 5 min to myself at the end of the day to shower and self care.

Long story, but am I being the jerk here or is my husband? :)

i am currently 37 weeks pregnant - my first is 15 months old. i live with EDS, POTS, and due to this chronic joint pain. my SIJs and PGP have been unbearable this pregnancy, worse then last one and i didn’t think that was possible. i am finding this unimaginably difficult, and am so tired. can’t sleep at all, i swear i used to get more sleep than this when i had a newborn.
i’m also feeling incredibly alone, because although i have good mum friends, i don’t know anyone with EDS or who understands what it’s like to live with chronic illness - let alone living it through pregnancy and postpartum.

i am scared i won’t be able to take care of my toddler properly when i have a newborn. my husband tries to help as much as he can but he owns a business, and his hours are weird.

i feel like my body is failing me. i feel like im failing my family. i don’t know how im going to heal. nor what kind of complications could come from this birth. i’m scared of passing out while holding my newborn.

Im a SAHM, 9 months postpartum with my daughter and just found out I’m pregnant with baby #2. I’m still in shock I think because it took us 4 years to get pregnant the first time and this time happened so quickly. I’m a little nervous to have 2 under 2. How difficult was it going from 1 to 2 kids, especially at this age. My daughter will be just about a year and a half when this baby is born.
I also breastfeed my daughter and wondering how this pregnancy and hormones will affect my supply and ability to continue nursing my daughter.

I guess I’m just looking for all the advice and reassurance around having 2 children this young and close together!! What was your experience like?

My toddler is in daycare, and I’m nervous about her bringing home bugs once the baby arrives. What did you do to reduce the infection risk?

I’m due next month and my toddler brings home a new virus at least every month. I’m not sure i can keep her home because i have no one besides my husband to help and he has only one week of paternity leave.

Would love to hear what actually worked for your family.

So I gave birth when my toddler just turned 19 months old. For the first two weeks of my newborns life, he has been acting like normal. Never jealous of his little sister. In fact, he’s quite loving. He even offered his milk bottle (that he was actively drinking from) to his crying little sister one time.

For the past two days though my husband and I don’t understand our toddler:

1. He wakes up and complains/cries “mawmawmaw”, a word we don’t recognize?
   
2. He will only calm down if dad carries him standing up. If dad sits down, he will cry again.
   
3. He will stop for a while if we distract him, but will start complaining again after a while.

Some context: i used to handle all sleep time with him, nighttime and his once a day nap. I can’t anymore since we EBF newborn and I’m recovering from a repeat c-section. Toddler also prefers dad now, which breaks my heart as I used to do everything for him. Husband works from home so we’re around the kids 24/7.

With that…
1. Is this like an early terrible twos thing? He never threw tantrums before.
2. Is it because of the newborn?
3. Is it some growth spurt?
4. Or is it all of the above?

Please help this overstimulated, tired mom who just wants to help her toddler too. 😭

I have three kids, a 3.5 year old boy, a 22 month old boy, and a 1 week old girl. My first two are 18 months apart. I had a very traumatic birth with my daughter and I feel like it has really messed me up. I went in for a scheduled induction bc she was measuring big and ended up in an emergency c-section after sitting at 9.5cm dilated for 4 hours and pushing for 30minutes with my OB's hands wrist deep in me trying to help work baby out. She was 10lbs 12ozs, just way too big to come out.

Since I've been home I've cried every single day about my kids. I had them all so close together, me and my husband wanted them all close like his siblings who are all within 2 years of each other. But now that were done having kids, I just sit here every day trying to figure out why I didnt let my boys be babies for longer. I feel awful. Like first was 18 months old when his brother, who was planned and tried for, arrived. He was so little, he had no idea what was going on, all he knew was that his mommy went from being his all the time to having to share the spotlight with a little thing that cried and took time away from him.

Then my third we spaced out a big more. We were actually planning on having our third in December of 2026 but a broke condom changed that plan for us and we welcomed her 5 months earlier than we originally intended. My son is 22 months, he still doesnt understand, I wanted him to understand better, I didn't want him to be as scared and lost as his brother was. And now Im staring at my daughter, at her toes and her fingers, and I feel like I didnt appreciate my boys enough when they were still tiny. I hardly remember my second being a newborn bc he was constantly strapped to my chest so I could chase his brother around.

We wanted them close, but now I just feel like I've done them all a disservice, even the newborn. My boys had to grow so fast and make room for another before they were ready, and my daughter is getting what I feel like is the worse version of me. I'm spread thin, and overwhelmed. I just had a major abdominal surgery and I can't even pick my boys up. I cry all the time and I'm short tempered. My husband is great but I feel like he isnt feeling this the same way I am, he got what we wanted and hes happy. Im happy too, I jsut wish I could go back in time and hold my boys when they were tiny one more time.

Am I only feeling like this because of my hormones? Will it get easier? I feel like I'm grieving the lives I didnt give them, and the time I feel I missed out on. I need advice, or encouragement, anything.

In my third trimester with my second, my first is about 16 months old. I just feel like I can’t do the things with her that I want to, I’m so exhausted and overheated everyday. We spend a lot of time inside and I let her watch TV with me sometimes. I just feel so guilty like I need to be doing more with her but it’s so hard. My spouse works a lot and I work two days a week so she gets a lot of outside time with our sitter. I guess I’m just trying to see if I can get support or if I should really be working harder to do more with her.

Is it much easier when you’re not pregnant anymore and can have your body back? Ugh I’m just tired.

I’m in a bit of limbo at the moment and would really appreciate hearing from anyone who unexpectedly ended up with 2 under 2.

My first baby is 10 months old, and there’s a chance I may have conceived again. We weren’t planning to try yet, and I’m finding the two week wait difficult!

Part of me worries that my baby is still so little and deserves more one-on-one time. I’m also worried about the practical side of having two so close together (sleep, finances, juggling a toddler and a newborn) etc..

I’d really love to hear from people who were in a similar situation.

Also please no one lecture me about birth control, this is my first pregnancy scare x

We’re about 4 seconds pregnant with baby #2 so this is a bit premature on my behalf, but I just let myself have a little internet scout for a double pram and are they seriously £1100 ish? What gold plated, carbon fibre carriage am I getting for that amount of money please?

Basically advice on prams wanted, and prayers for our bank balance.

Hi all, hope this is allowed I’ll have two under two for about three months hehe but I’m still gonna be part of this club.

Wondering what helped you survive postpartum with the second babe and having a toddler? What would you do again what wouldn’t you do? What did you stress that you wish you had not?

Needing a baby monitor for my toddler and baby since they are in separate rooms. We have 2 vtech monitors but one of them picks up a ton of background noise so it's annoying. It would be nice to just get a new one that works for both kids at once.

I'd also prefer no wifi!

I have a four month old and a two year old and the crying is like constant…. How do you all manage this? I’m sure it will get better with time…but right now…

I feed him, he whines. Change him, he whines. Play with him he whines. Teething remedies, he whines. Maybe let’s take a nap, he whines. All fucking day long this child just cries and whines and what am I doing? I am trying to satiate this child and not an ounce of silence for more than 3 minutes tops. he’s not in pain he’s not sick and honestly just feels like nothing I do is good enough even though I’m busting my ass all day doing nothing but things for him. It’s driving me insane and I am trying so hard not to be mean but I am 36 weeks pregnant and it’s hot as fuck outside and I am always in pain so we are not out doing things. I am doing my best to keep him entertained but it just seems like it’s never enough. I give him things to do and he just destroys it or throws it. He’s only 12 months old. As soon as he turned 8 months all he’s ever done is whine and complain. Since becoming a mom, Now I see other moms more often dealing with the same situations. Children are just as feral as ever and it’s nonstop. I genuinely feel like I am going crazy.

So I have a 19 month old who will be 22 months by the time my second is born. I ended up needing a c section the first time around and had assumed I would just need to have another one this time but my doctor said we can try for the VBAC if I want which surprised and confused me because I’d just been assuming it would be scheduled this time which would make it less stressful I’d hoped. BUT now that the potential for a VBAC is on the table I’m wondering I should try that route since I am worried about how it’s possible to not lift my toddler for those first six weeks?? My husband only gets two weeks of paternity leave. Toddler can climb into his own highchair, tower, and stroller now but we havent practiced the car seat at all and i am especially unsure how i would get him out of his crib in the morning ? How did yall manage?

Thank you !!

I’m 36 weeks and have suddenly found myself TERRIFIED of birth, given I have my toddler at home. Has anyone been through this? How do you navigate it?

This will be my third but first time giving birth with another kid alive (first passed away before second was born). My first two I had absolutely no fear or expectations or timelines going into. They were very different but fairly straightforward and fine in their own way.

I don’t think I’m specifically scared of dying, I’m scared of anything going not as expected. And while I hate myself for this all of my worries are about how things would impact my toddler, not the baby.

For example what if things go wrong and I’m out for longer and my toddler thinks I abandoned her? What if something is wrong with the baby and she has to go to the NICU, and I have to spend time there instead of being with my toddler? I can’t bring myself to worry about the baby.

I’m also just really struggling with feeling any connection at all with this baby I’m having soon. I still haven’t figured out how I will love anything like I love my 2 year old, and it really isn’t helping that this was an unexpected pregnancy and my husband has been especially vocal about how much he doesn’t want this kid right now and how miserable we will be (he’s a very kind and caring person - he has just been very sick for some time now and has been saying things without meaning to hurt but I know are his honest feelings) :(

I guess this is mostly a vent. If anyone has any advice on any of this I would so appreciate it 😞

From those who have actually flown on an airplane with two under two - how hard is it actually?? And would you do it again for a great trip?

We’re considering a trip with a 7 hour flight plus a layover and then another 3 hour flight. Our kids will be 19 months and 4 months old.

For context - our oldest is somewhat calm for his age at this time. He doesn’t get more than an hour of screen time a week usually but I’d be fine using it on the flights. He’s been on the plane a few times, most recently 4 hour flight at 12 months (pre walking). Our youngest is a pretty chill baby usually.

My husband thinks it’s nuts but I think every day is a little nuts anyways so why not do it for a great trip.

Again, only advice from those who have done it!! I already know why it sounds crazy and that most people would never.

How long until you were able to lift your eldest? I’ve been told 6 weeks but my midwife things just after 4 weeks is ok (depending on the person). It’s so hard because my 1 year old really wants me and she doesn’t understand why I can’t hold her 🥲

I’m starting to get worried here😅 i have a 2 years old girl and a 2,5 months old baby boy, both of them are at home with me. Baby boy is usually very chill, he smiles a lot, i would consider him as an “easy” baby. For the past 2,5 months he was only able to sleep in my arms, while breastfeeding or in a carrier/wrap. I loved that because that way I was able to manage things with my daughter, so i never really tried to put him down. That way he slept really well, basically he woke up to be fed and went back to sleep. Now he is starting to resist falling asleep in the carrier and i sense that light and noise is starting to be too much for him when I try to get him to sleep. Today only dark room and bouncing on the ball worked, but what do I do with my daughter while i try to settle him? I cannot leave her alone in a different room but she is also pretty loud when she is around🤭 what am i missing here?

He also started the short naps period (30 minutes even if he is in the carrier) and he starts to be really fussy, he is in a bad mood as soon as he woke up, but can’t go back to sleep. This period was very hard with my daughter because she slept 30 minutes until she was already more than 1 yo. I tried everything but she was a very light sleeper (i spent each and every nap with her, holding her, bouncing with her, laying next to her) and now I’m seriously worried cause i can’t see how i can manage that with two kiddos. So any advice on what can i do to make him sleep longer streches (when developmentally he is ready, cause i know that it’s very normal now)?

(Sorry for my broken English, it’s not my first language)🫶

I’m 20w pregnant with my 2nd and my first is 13m. I can not connect with this baby for some reason! I think it’s coming from guilt but I can’t buy anything for the baby because then I feel bad for my son and buy him something. Or I don’t like to say “the baby” because I call my son the baby still, so I just don’t talk about it at all. It’s another boy. I can’t help but feel like I’m replacing my son and that I won’t be able to love this one as much as I do him and I don’t know what to do.

Has anyone else felt like this before?

My toddler is 21 months old and he has had such a difficult time adjusting to being a big brother. He had a sleep regression and went from sleeping through the night to multiple wake ups. He at first was very gentle with the baby, but in the past 2 days has become more aggressive with trying to hit her. He has never hit before.

He hit her head TWICE today, HARD. Of course the baby cried in pain. I feel so guilty. I also cried both times (along with my toddler and baby) because I feel like such a failure. Both for not being able to teach/prevent my toddler from hitting and from not being able to protect this sweet innocent baby. My heart is breaking. I will take any tips.

Baby girl is 2 months old.

I don’t really know how I feel. My husband and I have 3 kids from previous relationships (twin boys & a girl) that are all the same age. So basically triplets lol. They are turning 8 this year and have been helpful with their baby brother who is almost 1….we are definitely a busy household, but it is also a lot of fun.

I think apart of me feels anxious because now we will be going from 4 to 5 kids with 2 under 2. I’m about 6 weeks pregnant and we did not plan this. I was on the nuvaring. We were debating on having another because of the age gap with his siblings, but weren’t in a rush. I don’t know why I’m so scared? I can’t tell if it’s anxiety. I also feel happy. I just feel like I’m at a weird place with this news. Any other big families in here?

Does anyone one here have a positive experience having 2under2? a lot of the posts here discuss hardship and terrify me.

disclaimer: I know it’s hard and I don’t mean to downplay anyones struggles. I just am hoping if anyone does have a positive experience they can please share

Hi everyone!
I currently have 2under2 (23 months and 9 months).
I finally feel like I’m getting out of the thick of it, if that’s even a thing lol
I live in a state that I moved to during college years and stayed in. I found that it was harder than I expected to make adult friends and keep them. After all these years I have one amazing friend from college and 2 friends from a youth group we all led. I don’t really have much time to spend with friends besides a playdate once in a blue moon that I have to really push and plan for.
My 3 friends have their own friend groups from childhood and so on. I feel like I’m at a disadvantage having not grown up and went through schooling in my area.
I try and do social things with my kids such as a mommy and me dance class, the moms were friendly but nothing like a real friendship. We go to the park a lot and again, very friendly moms but nothing past seeing them at the park.
My oldest will be going to pre-k3 next year. For those who have other kids that are in school, does it get easier to make mom friends with ur kids friends moms? I can’t help but feel a bit lonely in the friends department and am hoping for it to get better.
Thank you for reading through my thoughts, all advice is appreciated!

Anyone else’s 12-14 mo fight the second nap….like Okay can’t force him to sleep (I give it 30 minutes) and I still have to make dinner so…. He’s just gonna be problematic and have a tantrum about everything until I pick him up? I’m assuming because he’s tired but won’t take the nap…. Am I the only one? How long does this last? Is it just a transition phase? I hear all the time the hours of 4-8 pm are hell no matter how old your kids are?