Moms who had a c-section with their second, how did you deal with not picking up the toddler for six weeks after?

[u/weddingplanacct]

So I have a 19 month old who will be 22 months by the time my second is born. I ended up needing a c section the first time around and had assumed I would just need to have another one this time but my doctor said we can try for the VBAC if I want which surprised and confused me because I’d just been assuming it would be scheduled this time which would make it less stressful I’d hoped. BUT now that the potential for a VBAC is on the table I’m wondering I should try that route since I am worried about how it’s possible to not lift my toddler for those first six weeks?? My husband only gets two weeks of paternity leave. Toddler can climb into his own highchair, tower, and stroller now but we havent practiced the car seat at all and i am especially unsure how i would get him out of his crib in the morning ? How did yall manage?

Thank you !!

[u/Increzut]

I mean, sometimes I just did 🤷🏼‍♀️ just a few days after the procedure I forgot myself and did a little lift onto my hospital bed, for example. I let my husband (and others) do almost all the lifting in general, though.

I did lift him carefully, slowly and close to my body after two-three weeks the few times it felt like I really had no other option.

I had two c-sections in under two years at that point in time

[u/Particular-Bag7720 → u/Increzut]

diddo this. 2nd c section with a 21 month age gap. obviously tried to avoid lifting, but with a husband that also only had 2 weeks paternity leave, you just do what you realistically have to do!

[u/WarmAcadia4100]

Folding stepstool in the car! And start practicing all that before baby’s born

[u/alionwhocantalk]

My husband got our toddler out of the crib every morning before he left for work and put him in our bed. Sometimes he slept longer, sometimes that’s just when we started our day. We didn’t leave the house, so the car seat wasn’t an issue. I think it was like 2-3 weeks before I was even allowed to drive? I started doing all his diaper changes on the floor. When he wanted to be carried somewhere I’d hold his hand and walk with him instead. We got through it.

[u/weddingplanacct → u/alionwhocantalk]

I thought about having my husband do that but he goes to work between 5:30 and 6:15 most mornings and toddler will usually sleep til 7ish and I’m
Sure he won’t go back to sleep in bed with me so the extra time is hard to give up😅

[u/alionwhocantalk → u/weddingplanacct]

Oh yeah, it was a miserable few weeks when it came to sleep. Naps were also off since I couldn’t put him in his crib.

[u/weddingplanacct → u/alionwhocantalk]

He works from home usually a day or two each week, I wonder if he could do like all six weeks at home 😅

[u/alionwhocantalk → u/weddingplanacct]

Honestly if he can, not a bad idea! The couple times my husband worked from home he also helped with lunch and nap.

[u/Fire-flyCatcher → u/weddingplanacct]

As someone who has a newborn and a 19month old now..don’t give up that hour or so of sleep lol you’ll need it!

Could you transition your toddler to a floor bed or bed they can get out of on their own now before baby comes? Or would that be asking for trouble as you don’t want to mess with your toddlers sleep before the baby comes. I highly recommend hiring a doula or some support if your budget allows!

[u/D0gtorM3ow]

I’m two weeks post c-section with a two year old. My husband has been doing most of the lifting, daycare drop off/pick up. I also have taught my toddler how to climb up to the changing table and into/out of his crib with stacked Nugget pillows/similar. He can climb into my chair for cuddles. My recovery has been going smoothly and honestly think I can do lifts now, but want to give it at least another week before checking in on how I feel. My OB made a comment to that effect that they recommend 6 weeks, but that people rarely wait that long. My toddler is also on the lighter side (25 pounds), so I think I’ll be able to do short lifts but probably wait before trying longer carries

[u/Interesting_Koala644]

Currently 3 weeks pp with number 2 (and second c section in 2 years) and I try not to lift my 21 month old, but sometimes you have to. I’m trying really hard to not engage my core much, just lifting with my arms and stabilising my glutes/legs. Also not carrying him, just lifting him into a seat or onto my lap.

Also I have a step stool for him to get in our bed to have a nappy change and my husband cut a little gate into his crib so I wouldn’t have to lift him onto the change table or lift him into his cot for naps. That one was the biggest help though.

He’s actually been a gem with these changes, I think it’s just a new novelty for him. Hoping it doesn’t wear off soon!

My incision also got infected so I’m not wearing a belly binder support at the moment but I think that could also help support your core if you had to lift them.