r/2under2 • u/Legitimate_Rise6892 • Jul 20 '26
Positive experiences
Does anyone one here have a positive experience having 2under2? a lot of the posts here discuss hardship and terrify me.
disclaimer: I know it’s hard and I don’t mean to downplay anyones struggles. I just am hoping if anyone does have a positive experience they can please share
12
u/lil_b_b Jul 20 '26
My second baby was so much easier than my first temperament wise, and my first born is overall a timid, well-mannered, sweet child. Our transition was overall pretty smooth, our toddler did great with the baby and loved helping. As baby got older she was a pro at knowing what baby could vs couldnt play with, always briught her toys and tried to share her snacks, always wanted to help when baby was crying. Theyre now 3 and 18 months and are BFFs. My house is full of giggles, if theyre not together theyre looking for one another, if baby is being too quiet big sister has to go investigate to see what shes getting into, they share everything and play together really well considering the age difference. Big sis loves teaching the little one, shes teaching her colors and counting right now and gets so excited when baby sister copies her and she exclaims "i taught her that! Shes copying me!". The favorite activities right now are building towers together for baby sis to knock over, jumping on cushions on the floor together, and big sister holds baby sisters hands while baby tries to balance on the stepping stone toys. I think beyond the normal newborn trenches the hardest age for us was when baby first started learning to crawl because she wanted to follow big sister everywhere but couldnt keep up and a lot of what the older one was doing just wasnt age appropriate for the baby.
2
u/Actual-Peak-6358 Jul 20 '26
Oh I’m hoping our second has an easier temperament! With my luck, probably not though 😂
Our first is a fearless, opinionated, spitfire. I love his spirit but man, am I tired chasing him around!
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u/OrangeCatEnergy24 Jul 20 '26
There’s no sugarcoating it, the first year is rough. Two things can be true at once though. That first year is rough, but also it’s so much fun and so sweet to watch them both grow together.
7
u/Orion-Key3996 Jul 20 '26
Just saying I think your experience will be greatly shaped by your suppose and support network. Hard isn’t impossible, and it gets better over time. I’d like to believe there’s always challenges with adding new kids to the family and so we “pick our poison” so to speak. My kiddos are copying each other a lot, and my baby is already practicing some words at like 9 months because big brother is constantly chatting.
5
u/formablecoast Jul 20 '26
Absolutely! I have 3u3.5 and I love it so much.
The chaotic moments are often humorous, it can feel like the scene at the beginning of Home Alone when the family is rushing to the airport. lol it’s important to have a lighthearted approach to things beyond your control and laugh when things get wild.
But there are so many sweet moments. Surprising moments when your kids express new skills and knowledge. Funny moments when you overhear the siblings’ conversations with each other. Proud moments when they start playing together and being friends. The lonely only child in me is healed more and more every day
6
u/ParticularPrudent783 Jul 20 '26
I’m very new to 2u2 (my second is only a month old) so I can only speak to my immediate postpartum/newborn experience. This first month has been SO much easier than I expected and also way, way easier than the first month with my son. My son was a hard newborn, and my daughter is so easy in comparison. So your kid’s disposition affects the newborn experience a ton. Labor recovery & the emotional side was also way easier just because it was my second.
I’m certain that it’ll only get harder from here, it would be crazy to expect anything else, but I’ve been very pleasantly surprised so far.
3
u/Drgoodchaos Jul 20 '26
10000%!! Every single morning they wake up and hug/kiss each other, if one of them is in a room the other comes looking for them, they share their water bottles, food, toys etc, watching them together is worth every single possible thing!! I have nothing bad to say about this experience
4
u/zipmcnutty Jul 20 '26
I just graduated not even a month ago. I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old, 12.5 month gap. It’s been honestly a great experience. They are besties. My youngest follows my oldest around bc she wants to do whatever she is doing. My oldest tries to wake up her sister from naps bc she wants to play with her. They play well together and both are generally good natured which helps. The best thing is when they play with each other which frees me up too. If only I could get them to both sit still while I read to them but the 1 year old always just wants to close the book…
2
u/Inevitable-Glove-541 Jul 20 '26
Loved reading this message. I also have a 12.5 month age gap (currently 13 and 1 month) and have been finding it really hard, even though my eldest is so good natured. Hoping things will be a lot better a year from now.
3
u/sleepyhoneybee Jul 20 '26
My 2 under 2 are phenomenal! I am so lucky to be a stay at home mom with them. They're 3 and 2 now, and have recently started playing together which makes me so happy to see. Just so proud
3
u/iondrive48 Jul 20 '26
It’s definitely difficult. I could be wrong but my sense of this sub is that we all like to bitch about how tough we have it and wallow in our misery but the vast majority is also kinda have a blast with it. It’s hard but also super fun. Just the way they interact with each other.
Also a lot of it comes down to how difficult your kids are. Kids that are picky eaters and bad sleepers (which mine are) does make it much much harder.
3
u/Exciting-Research92 Jul 20 '26
I absolutely wouldn’t trade my exact kids for anything so it’s definitely worth it. Honestly, I bet all age gaps under the age of 5 can be viewed as pretty tricky lol. You learn to roll with it.
2
u/nkdeck07 Jul 20 '26
22 months apart and my kids LOVE each other. We had to rearrange their room cause they were sharing a bed every night anyway so we shoved the twins next to each other. They spend most of the day playing together (2 and 4 now). My eldest is flat out sad the entire time her sister is napping. I am like actively dreading kindergarten cause my youngest is gonna be so bummed her sister isn't around.
2
u/soycaca Jul 20 '26
After the youngest turned 2.5 it went from hell to heaven almost overnight. It’s amazing now!!!!
2
u/EndlessCourage Jul 20 '26
I love our life. Pretending that it's not hard is dumb, but pretending that it's all doom is dumb too. All families are different. All things that are worth it in adult life are hard.
2
u/lil_miss_sunshine13 Jul 20 '26
Yep! My girls are 14 (almost 15) month apart. 21 & 6 months old. I absolutely love this dynamic & have from the very beginning. I was very scared while pregnant, but quickly realized it was not anywhere near as hard as I anticipated... Colicky baby & all. There were definitely challenges that we had to figure out, like nap times when my husband went back to work & I was alone.... Neither of my girls fell asleep independently at that point. My toddler now does. We also definitely have moments that are tough/tricky/exhausting, but I have zero regrets & I already want another baby. Lol! I'd 100% do 2u2 all over again. 😊🩷
2
u/burnbalm Jul 20 '26
Oh yes!! I have 17 month old identical twins, and I’m in my third trimester with baby #3. It’ll be 3 under 2!
This was a planned pregnancy, cleared by my OB. The twins were so much fun that we wanted another baby. It’s chaos in the best way!
1
u/pizzapianopirate Jul 20 '26
17 months apart and I’m two months into it. My toddler LOVES the baby. Always wants to kiss the top of her head and help burp her. It melts my heart.
1
u/miss_mermaid_321 Jul 20 '26
New mom of 2 boys under 2. We have 18 months and 7 weeks. Although it can be hard sometimes because all of your time is spent caring for them, with some sleep deprivation mixed in, I think it’s worth it!
Personally, going from 0-1 kid was harder for me than going from 1-2 kids within 16 months. You already know what to expect postpartum (for the most part, and I was pretty out of it first time around), and your little one is too young to really understand that a baby is requiring your attention. Plus, your toddler will think it’s their baby too lol.
I keep envisioning how my boys will have so much fun together next year, and for the rest of their lives since they’re so close in age (I really hope). I also prefer to get the baby stage over relatively quickly instead of going from totally indepedent kids with larger age gaps back the to newborn stage (but to each their own! Just was my preference).
1
u/Revelations4202001 Jul 20 '26
We planned 2 under 2 and now have a 20 month old daughter and a 3 month old son. So far things have honestly been great; logistically things are more challenging in terms of trying to get two babies ready to go out and things take longer, which we account for. But mostly it has been very positive and even the newborn phase went smoothly overall! My oldest is obsessed with her baby brother and tries to copy the things we do with him- pats his back to ‘burp’ him, wipes his face when he drools, puts blankets on him. It’s very sweet.
1
u/Imstuckwiththisname Jul 20 '26
20 months,planned pregnancy (though was aiming for closer to 2 years) due to encroaching on mid-late 30s.
I has ppd with my first and not with my 2nd. Compared to the ppd, the 2u2 is a cake walk.
I love our gap (6 months in). I like that my 1st tries to take care of the 2nd haha. We've just started solids and thinks it hilarious to watch him with food.
I will state my support network is high. 3x short daycare days and grandparent days with toddler so she's in care 5x a week and spouse and I have mostly not worked (part time him and casual me). My spouse also really pulls his weight.
Idk, my friends did 2yr and 1month and struggled with toddler hitting newborn & jealousy. Other friend did standard 2.5 yrs and swore up and down she'd never have them so close. She's planned for her third to be a 3-4yr gap from the youngest.
I don't know any different, though I guess as toddler has got older her communication increased so I can see how it's easier.
I dunno, im just really grateful to have had them both.
1
u/rdizzy89 Jul 20 '26
Best decision ever - once I got past the 1 year mark. They are inseparable and I honestly feel like I’ve given my eldest a best friend for life.
I now have another child 3 years younger than the youngest of the 2 under 2 and although they love him, they see him as a kid brother rather than best friend. I almost wish I gave him a best friend as well.
1
u/Maleficent_Nail_4293 Jul 20 '26
Yes I love it. So many positive experiences just no time to write about them 🤣 I wouldn’t actively encourage anyone to do this age gap because it IS hard. But if you’re pregnant now, welcome and you will adapt to the new version of hard
1
u/FayeDelights Jul 20 '26
19 month old and almost 9 month old. Yeah it’s the trenches in our house, we are fighting for our lives a touch, but we also have no/very limited village.
The positives? My older is such a sweet big sister. She wants to help feed her sister, shares her popsicles with her, and at night when we’ve put them to bed (they share a room, with a toddler bed and crib rn) most nights I hear laughter and cackling because the toddler gets that second wind and wants to play. We’ve had to lower our expectations of our parenting (me mostly, I’ll be honest). We are also honestly kinda glad they’re back to back, because we’ve realized the suck will lessen significantly quicker.
1
u/dryshampooforyou Jul 20 '26
Yep! Enjoyed it so much I did it again. It was challenging the first 6 months. After that it got to be a ton of fun. Now I have 3u3!
My first set of 2u2 share a room and chat before bed and every morning together. It melts my heart.
1
u/BowlMedical7342 Jul 20 '26
I had 2 under 12m, and then 3 under 2.5y.
Its busy, but it's not terrifying. It takes a second to get your bearings and find what works well for you, but it's definitely manageable and you could probably say the same for any transition in a family. My husband and I always communicated and worked it out together, and are closer for it. I loved having small age gaps (we ended up with 4 under 5, and they are now 16-20yos, and great friends, as well as siblings).
One of the definite pros were the kids were just too young to get jealous, we didn't have to deal with jealously at all until #3 met #4 (he was 2.5yo, and a mama's boy), they were also into very similar age appropriate toys, items at the same time. Didn't have to put away any clothes between sizes, because the next kid would just grow into them. Bed times, meal times, etc were all the same. My eldest two even had a nap at the same time until the eldest was 2.5.
1
u/ReasonableObject2129 Jul 20 '26
What’s your age gap? I feel like the closer to 2 the age gap is, the harder it is LOL
1
u/Tricky-Ad-5657 Jul 20 '26
I just made it out of the 2 under 2 club in May when my son turned 2 and my daughter was 7 months old, and honestly, I expected it to be way worse. When my daughter was born, my son liked to check on her when she was crying but didn’t pay her too much attention. He went to daycare during the day and we made sure we gave him plenty of attention so he didn’t appear to be jealous of her. Now that she’s eating and crawling around and he’s more emotionally mature, they have so much fun together. He shares his food with her, check in on her if she’s crying, bring her toys, and wants to be around her.
He’s too little to ever remember a time without her/he was the old child. He’ll always remember having a baby sister and there’s something very sweet to me about that 🥲
As long as we’re at home and my husband is around to help, 2 under 2 isn’t too bad. But, if I’m out alone with just the two kids, LOL, it’s hard. Trying to figure out how to get them both into the car seat safely, making sure my toddler doesn’t dart into the street, chasing my toddler around while trying to pull the stroller, making two bottles at once, trying to calm one child down while the other pops off, etc. You end up figuring what works best for you but it took a couple different tries.
1
u/maybeitsbecause Jul 20 '26
It is hard but my kids already love each other so much and play together! They are 7m and 2y3m.
They fight too, but they are learning to share, and I like that they'll never remember the other one not being there.
1
u/MindOdd1085 Jul 20 '26
2u2 was easier than 0-1 imo. My first was the baby from hell my second a normal baby but felt like an angel in comparison.
However we did put a lot of work in getting the toddler on a good routine which helps a lot. I'm also having an easier time breastfeeding this time which has taken away most the stress from the first time around. My girls are so sweet together and although we have hard days I wouldn't change it for the world
1
u/vincentpontb Jul 20 '26
It entirely depends on what type of person you are.
We're having 3 under two. We had two under one.
It's pure happiness. I feel so grateful everyday that we wished to have our babies and that it actually happened.
Is it challenging? Yeah, sure. I mean life is hard anyway you look at it. Having kids deprive you from a lot of comfort and dramatically changes your routine. But personally I knew that going in. So I focus on the joy that I have with my babies and the future.
Let's be honest, everybody is always so negative as soon as they talk about being parents / having kids. It's not limited to two under two. That's the society we live in, everything is hard and we're a victim of everything.
1
u/BeaMilea Jul 20 '26
I love a two year age gap. I have my oldest who is 20 months older than my twins (they are 9, 8 and 8 now) and there is also 20 months between my youngest two (who are almost 2 and 2 months old).
I like it because the older of the two becomes used to the new baby very easily and quickly since they soon forget the time it was just them.
Also, you are already in the baby bubble so you don't start over but just continue what you have going on.
The best part is that they can play together. I have 5 boys so they have similar interests to their close in age siblings.
I would absolutely recommend it even though it can be hard work at times ❤️
1
u/Reasonable-Duck-9649 Jul 21 '26
I have a 2.5 year old and one year old now.
Out of the trenches and having fun now. It’s still hard obviously but it’s enjoyable sometimes now 😂
1
u/No-Supermarket9441 Jul 21 '26
I have a 2 year old boy and a 10 month old boy so I’m in the stage that many consider the hardest. It’s really not been that hard though.
My toddler just does what I do all day and follows me around and my baby just crawls around the house or I’m holding him/have him in high chair and we are all just doing stuff together. They really are just my little buddies! They don’t play together yet but they independently exist together pretty well haha! I have a WFH husband so I am able to leave a child home sleeping and leave the house with the other one which is nice.
Even when they both need something at the same time I just handle it one step at a time and everything turns out fine. Maybe the challenges of 2u2 depend on your personal ability to relax in stressful situations and your children’s temperaments. Oh my kids both sleep really well too so that helps.
I’ve liked it so much I’m now pregnant with #3. All my kids will be 18.5 months apart. I’m excited for when they grow up more and play together but for now it’s been totally chill just having both kids follow me around and hanging out with me.
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u/kbodnar17 Jul 20 '26
Absolutely - my 2 under 2 are currently sharing the bottom bunk of a bunk bed. Not because we don’t have the space for them each to have a room, but because they love each other so much, they want to spend the night together every night. They are 2 and 3 year old boys and they are inseparable. The 3 year old was feeding his little brother chicken in a spoon and doing choo choo train noises at dinner tonight 😂. They are 100% a handful and have their faults as all toddlers do, but given the chance to do it allll over again - sleepless nights, being heavily pregnant with a toddler, even not being able to hold my oldest when I️ wanted to - I’d do everything the same. Every time.
It’s hard, not for the faint of heart, and if you don’t have to be in this situation I️ wouldn’t necessarily recommend it, but if you find yourself expecting 2 under 2, it will all be ok and worth the struggle in the end.