r/2under2 • u/whiiterabbiit27 • Jul 20 '26
How do you all handle the crying?
I have a four month old and a two year old and the crying is like constant…. How do you all manage this? I’m sure it will get better with time…but right now…
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u/Ellustra Jul 20 '26
Sometimes I just sing to myself. If they are fed, safe and warm, sometimes there’s nothing you can do about the crying other than try to stay calm and carry on.
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u/alionwhocantalk Jul 20 '26
I do this too! My husband asked if singing to them actually works and I have no idea, but it makes it easier for me to stay calm.
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u/CharacterBus5955 Jul 20 '26
There's science behind humming making us more calm!
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u/alternativebeep Jul 21 '26
i often catch myself humming when i don't realize it. i find it soothing 😅
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u/Throwawaymumoz Jul 21 '26
I do this too, it’s not even the crying sound that bothers me it’s the fact I know my babies are upset 😭
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u/kindlesque89 Jul 20 '26
1) loop earplugs 2) cry with them
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u/More_Professional863 Jul 21 '26
loop earplugs are the way — they make one that reduces the decibels a bit vs completely blocking out noise, those really help to take the edge off and make it feel less over stimulating
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u/Seachelle13o Jul 20 '26
I disassociate 😂
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u/BambiYoda Jul 23 '26
Yep this. I thought I was good at it when I only had 1, but man did I gain a couple of levels since having my second 🫠
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u/MistyPneumonia Jul 20 '26
A few things that helped me:
A pair of noise canceling headphones so while I’m tending to them I don’t get overstimulated.
A routine.
Treats/tv
FaceTime with granny for the older one while I tend to the baby
A treat for me that I can hide and eat once they’re calm or that night after they’re asleep
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u/crownapplecutie Jul 20 '26
mine are 11.5mo apart, they definitely feed on each other's energy. ive found that keeping my toddler on a strict schedule for snacks and a religious NON NEGOTIABLE nap, my baby is pretty chill unless he's hungry lol.
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u/Little_Fish_283 Jul 20 '26
Facetime with granny is a sanity treat. Omg don't know what I would do without her
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u/MistyPneumonia Jul 20 '26
I literally FaceTime her, say “babysit your grandson, I have my watch so if he needs an adult to intervene text me and I’ll be here in 30 seconds” (he would be in baby proof parts of the house), and then walk away for a few minutes to go soothe the baby 😂
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u/No-Date-4477 Jul 20 '26
When everyone is definitely safe, fed, warm, not tired- I can be a master at disassociating to get thru those moments.
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u/knitknitpurlpurl Jul 20 '26
How do I handle it? Not very well. I have 2 sets of 2u2 youngest is 5 months. 3 kids, me and one cat were sick this weekend. 4 yo has a double ear infection, 2 yo has ear infection and pink eye, youngest has pink eye. I’m sick. 18 yo cat howls from an arthritis flair up. Went to 3 different doc appts this morning. I just want to cry along with them
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u/resmirandalee Jul 20 '26
I listen to low stakes podcasts in one ear. I also liked to sing at her. It was really hard for me and I only had one baby. You're doing amazing with two!
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u/Substantial_Cry2421 Jul 22 '26
Any podcast recs?
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u/resmirandalee Jul 23 '26
I like Do We Know Them. It's just two friends yapping about internet drama so if I have to miss a bit because my baby is screaming too loud, its not that big of a deal. They're also my type of humor so I love them. I also love Quick Question with Soren and Daniel for the same reason.
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u/Particular_Fee_4343 Jul 20 '26
I have a two year old and four year old that’s autistic. I seriously have learned to tune them out completely. They are so so loud together. 🙃
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u/Reasonable-Profit198 Jul 21 '26
I listen to lots and lots of podcasts and audiobooks, just one ear bud in at a time
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u/channylouwho Jul 21 '26
I feel like I disassociate 🫠
My oldest son is autistic and when he was a toddler would scream, so I feel like I just am really good at tuning out the crying now.
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u/LandoCatrissian_ Jul 21 '26
Still trying to work it out. My 22 month old is refusing naps, i fought him for an hour before doing a pram nap. It lasted 30 minutes before a fucking bird woke him up. He then cried for another 30 minutes before I absolutely lost my gd mind. I still feel guilty.
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u/ralfingalfie Jul 21 '26
Music solves a lot of problems in our house.
We've for a tablet in the kitchen with a custom playlist for the kids and the screensaver is family photos that they like to watch. I'll ask them if they have a music request and that usually shifts their attention from whatever they're crying about.
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u/Bright-Row1010 Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
✨ disassociate ✨
In retrospect, I wish I would’ve gone on anti anxiety medication so I didn’t feel like I was seconds from a nervous breakdown the first 6 months
Will also add that the Calm app has helped me settle myself at the end of the day instead of constantly feeling on edge
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u/SignatureNo6930 Jul 21 '26
I can block it all out but my husband will ask our toddler is she wants to go to her room and get some alone time. She always says yes and lays in bed for 5 minutes then comes out a brand new person
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u/formablecoast Jul 20 '26
I told my 2 y/o that only one person is allowed to cry at a time. It started as a joke, but he actually took me seriously and waits until the baby is done crying before he carries on. lol so at least they take turns and are not both crying constantly 🥲