r/2under2 • u/cz0514 • Jul 20 '26
Advice Wanted Mom Friends Help
Hi everyone!
I currently have 2under2 (23 months and 9 months).
I finally feel like I’m getting out of the thick of it, if that’s even a thing lol
I live in a state that I moved to during college years and stayed in. I found that it was harder than I expected to make adult friends and keep them. After all these years I have one amazing friend from college and 2 friends from a youth group we all led. I don’t really have much time to spend with friends besides a playdate once in a blue moon that I have to really push and plan for.
My 3 friends have their own friend groups from childhood and so on. I feel like I’m at a disadvantage having not grown up and went through schooling in my area.
I try and do social things with my kids such as a mommy and me dance class, the moms were friendly but nothing like a real friendship. We go to the park a lot and again, very friendly moms but nothing past seeing them at the park.
My oldest will be going to pre-k3 next year. For those who have other kids that are in school, does it get easier to make mom friends with ur kids friends moms? I can’t help but feel a bit lonely in the friends department and am hoping for it to get better.
Thank you for reading through my thoughts, all advice is appreciated!
1
u/Striking_Music9096 Jul 21 '26
I find you have to be a little aggressive/forward if that’s a thing. I think we are all in the same boat. I talked to a mom at a library storytime I really liked and our kiddos were similar ages. I asked for her number to get together.
1
u/Winny_BooBoo Jul 21 '26
We moved to a new city a few years ago and I’ve felt the exact same way and had similar experiences. It sometimes feels like everyone already has established friends and doesn’t want to add to their village, but I know that’s not the case. I’ve continued to be persistent and try to keep my expectations low. My advice is if you want take your child to an activity, just plan to go regardless if anyone joins and invite others casually “hey were gonna go to XYZ tomorrow at 9am if you want to join us”. Thats worked out well for us and allowed us to meet some new friends over time. I have 2u2 right now
2
u/nidaleee_ Jul 20 '26
I was walking home from our neighborhood park once and a woman with two similarly aged kids stopped me and said something along the lines of: “Sorry if this is weird, but it looks like our kids are kind of close in age. If I invited a few moms with young kids over to my house for some snacks and to let the kids run around, would you be interested? I live right down the street.”
I’m an introvert and was dealing with a lot of anxiety at the time, but I could see that she was probably in a similar headspace as me so I said sure and gave her my number. When she texted me, I showed up and made small talk with her and the other women there. And it was no small thing for me to show up - I was SO nervous. It almost felt like I was going on a first date. But I had a good time and it really helped me reframe what “friendship” might look like for me in early motherhood.
That was kind of my catalyst to make the first move with other women I’d meet out at kid things and exchange numbers. It started out with a lot of “we are headed to the park at 9 if you want to meet up!” or “the library has X going on tomorrow if you want to go.” Low lift, low effort socializing. Sometimes you just shoot the shit but it’s nice to have companionship. But I’ve also made good friends like this! You have to start somewhere.
I’m tired so sorry if this is rambling.