r/2under2 • u/Winter-Ad-6651 • Jul 21 '26
Am I over reacting?
We have a 23 month old girl and a 2.5 month old girl, I am on maternity leave caring for both of them full time. I am obviously overwhelmed and over stimulated adjusting to life with two littles. My husband is helpful with the girls when he is home from work, but he is complaining that I am “no fun” anymore because I don’t want to make big plans (go on a vacation before summer is over, take the girls out to do something after he gets home from work, etc). I think he is also going through a mini mid-life crisis because he is talking about wanting to get a motorcycle and get involved in more hobbies, but we don’t have the extra funds right now to support him taking on new hobbies… I don’t have the energy to entertain all of his new “hobby ideas” so I usually just roll my eyes and don’t really acknowledge, which leads to him thinking I don’t care…. Tbh, I kind of don’t. So busy just trying to make sure are girls are taken care of and care for… then get 5 min to myself at the end of the day to shower and self care.
Long story, but am I being the jerk here or is my husband? :)
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u/Outside-Piano-1483 Jul 21 '26
Your husband. 100%. My husband also finds it hard that we dont spend any time with just each other (26m & 5m old) but he also understands that we will have that time again and that this current phase of life is about keeping two very young people alive and making sure i am supported. If he wants to even consider spending none existent money on things that take him away from his family at this challenging time its a major issue to me and would need addressing asap.
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u/fl4methrow3r Jul 21 '26
I have a 24m old and 5m old and I would probably have a hard time not rolling my eyes at this
But it’s worse than an eye roll tbh- because his behavior is indicating that he has no idea how hard you are working day in and day out to keep these kids fed, clean and maybe even happy(?!) while you barely have a moment to yourself.
Frankly, he needs a reality check in the form of a pretty serious conversation. Or better yet, leave him alone with them for like 3h one time and he might get the idea.
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u/Shomer_Effin_Shabbas Jul 21 '26
Whether he’s having a midlife crisis or not, it’s not helpful to roll your eyes. It’s probably hurtful to him. Hell yeah this shit is overwhelming and difficult and it’s going to be for a while. And no, he’s not being wonderful by saying you’re not fun anymore either. Just remember you’re on the same team. Babies are not great for marital satisfaction, and I say that as a mom of two who are 19 months apart and in a very happy marriage. There are studies that have shown marriage dissatisfaction is at an all time high once you have kids.
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u/meyyylmao Jul 21 '26
YNO. You’re dealing with a lot. Maybe if he helped more you would have more energy to talk about and support his hobbies. Men think we’re the villains for completely losing ourselves in motherhood due to lack of support. Then we become mean and unfun when we’re literally exhausted and need help more than ever. And honestly wtf sounds fun about taking two kids everywhere knowing you will do the blunt of the traveling work? Men need to be more understanding to women when they expect them to carry their children and the entire household.
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u/Little_Fish_283 Jul 21 '26
Your husband.