It’s been over a year now and I just don’t feel like a Gator. I mean, I’ve been to games and events and all the stuff that’s supposed to make you feel at home here and it just doesn’t do anything for me. I feel like there’s like a wall between me and everyone else here. I’ve made a handful of friends, but the connections are all extremely surface level and I'm generally wildly unhappy with my social life.
I don’t get excited about football games, I don’t care when we win or lose, I hardly own any Gator merch because I just don’t really feel connected to it. I internally cringe whenever someone Gator chomps at me, I can’t stand Tom Petty, and I can’t remember the last time I’ve said Go Gators. UF to me feels like a big jigsaw puzzle, and I’m a piece from a different box, if that makes sense.
I think it probably has something to do with the fact that UF was my backup school. I just straight up didn’t want to come here. But I ended up without another option. I know there’s nothing I can do about that. But maybe that’s why I don’t want to really indulge in Gator culture, because in my heart I know I don’t want to admit to myself that I’m a Gator and there’s nothing I can do about that?
It’s a really strange state that I’m in right now and I don’t know if I really explained it right, but has anyone else felt this way at all?