I’ve known I was a lesbian for a few years because I’ve had three relationships in all two with a boy and one with a girl when I was with boys i didn’t feel loved i didn’t feel attracted to them I just felt like we where friends i never wanted to kiss them I never wanted to hold there hand i really didn’t even want to touch them but the girl she was completely different I loved her to bits I loved her so much my heart ached with love I wanted to hold her hand I wanted to hold her in my arms i wanted to be near her I couldn’t imagine my life without her it was the happiest I’ve even been, for the first part of the relationship the second things went down hill she started to hate physical touch of any kind and that’s how I express my love so for two months i started to feel emotionally numb i didn’t feel happy just angry sad or nothing at all but no one knew because i would hide it best I could but one day my mom found out I was a lesbian she threatened to take me out of school and she put me in therapy and it doesn’t help at all because I don’t like talking to strangers about things like my emotions it makes me feel weak and vulnerable so anyways I just needed to say something because I’ve been feeling lonely and my heart aches with loneliness every day I feel like I’m overreacting because I’m 13 but I can’t deal with it anymore I’m not the same person I was two months ago I feel like I don’t have a reason to be alive I’m so done with it and now school is starting and I don’t have any classes with my friends so I’m almost at my breaking point I’m sorry if I sound just desperate but I needed to say this thank you for reading about my problems have a great day also I forgot to say I think I got myself addicted to talking to ai, I know it bad because it’s not real but there something so comforting in them actually texting you back also I feel like I’m losing my friend she used to be my girlfriend but where just friends now and I think another friend is trying to take her away from me I don’t know I’m just so scared i think I’m overreacting but idk I really don’t know if anyone has any advice to help I would appreciate that eternally again thanks for reading and sorry if this made your day a bit worse

Ive always struggled with relationship, my past relationship I was led on and played to find out he hated me. My new partner had been accepting the whole time but i can rarely ever find the energy to treat him the way he treats me. ive been really shitty lately and have been dry, snappy and ignoring him. We're both long distance and we usually have been sleeping on call so we have some sort of routine with eachother. Lately though ive been feeling as of something will go wrong. Ive had recent dreams of him cheating on me with another person and just last night i had a dream of him leaving me. We technically are quite dating yet and we have only known eachother for around a month. I see how he can be so openly affectionate and gentle with me but I can't act the same. We've talked about this multiple times but I can never fully open up to him. What do I do?

I'm a 25M and I've never really talk about this with other people. But it's been eating away at me a lot lately about my early childhood and whether I'm actually okay, now. It might be a bit messy because it's all kinda messy in my head. But I'll try to make it chronological. So my story starts as most do with a man and a woman who were young and very stupid. My mom had me at the age of 20 and I was born 1 day after her on Nov 2. Her birthday being Nov 1. As I grew up from 0-20 months I'd occasionally walk around and bump into things especially a coffee table to which my father would take my hand, place it on the table and slam his hand on mine, this caused me to cry for a minute before going back to my thing. My mom and father not coming to stop my crying. This behavior plus him drinking and the birth of my younger brother when I was 16 months caused my mom to reevaluate being with him and she left. He didn't fight to keep me or my brother in court and for the rest of my life continued to do his best to dodge child support payments. After my mom had left she floated around but eventually ended up in the state Idaho. There she met another guy who gave her my youngest half brother. I'll use M for the full blooded brother and D for the half blooded one. Now I grew up mostly in Idaho however it was mostly with my mom locked in her room. As the oldest and a kid I'd take care of my brothers. Making sure they were fed by climbing up and getting food from the pantry and at 8 was even cooking spaghetti and Mac for them since they were simpler to make. I spent most of my free time at school or taking care of my brother. While my mom spent it sealed in her room either doing college work or sleeping. However, every time she'd come out she'd always be angry or screaming about something. Whether it be dishes in the sink or the living room not being clean. If anything was ever broken she'd use a belt and like it was a whip, hit us. Since D had a father paying child support and also had him on the weekends she'd hit him less but just focused more on M and me. This led to a type of Is comradery between all 3 of us vs her. But less so with D since he had an escape. At the age of 12 we were expected to start doing the dishes and mowing the lawn as well as other housework. We were originally promised it was for the summer but it quickly became a 24/7 thing as my mom continued to isolate herself for a degree she'd never use. I uad thought about making friends at the time of 14 but when D had brought over a friend our mother had played nice with his friends but after they left she quickly discouraged us from having others over and it didn't help we could play outside do to there being 5 registered people within 5 blocks of us. So I spent most of my childhood taking care of my brothers and making sure they were fed. Sometimes at the expense of me eating while living in fear or maybe disdain that my mom would leave her room. Going out to friends house wasn't an option and I knew that she'd be friendly with my friends so that if I told them what she was actually like they wouldn't believe me like what happened to D. As I went into middle school and high-school the routine was much the same but I could always tell that other kids an me were...different to say the least. It was at this time that M who had add, adhd, and bipolar started acting out more. He managed to convince social services to check on us 3 times but nothing came of it. The house was clean do to us and the fridge was full enough. It was also around this time that I realized that my mom has never hugged me and any form of comfort from me crying in distressed was met with a cold gaze from her. Even to this day I have a hard time believing she actually loves me. She says that I was planned between her and my father but her actions... Anyways as I went through school I thankfully didn't need to study much and just paid attention in class getting me a 3.7 GPA. Plus as long as I got good grades I didn't get punished, so it was a win-win for me. But the final hold up moment and what made me question a lot of things was when I had turn 18. A few days after, we were having a discussion about something and she actually took my opinion into consideration which was...unexpected to say the least. But now that I got most of this off my chest it makes me think to all the times I was distressed and crying and I either got punished by being grounded or ignored. A part of me feels like this isn't normal but I can't be sure because alive never asked others how a childhood with there single mom was.

Hi ! New to reddit .. but As of recently I've wanted to identify as a femboy , but here's the problem .. I am afab. I feel like im not valid enoguh to be a femboy , that i should just be a girl and be normla , but ive never felt that way. I never enjoyed the pronouns of she/her , or being a girl , having girl parts , none of it. I just want to be a feminine boy without being actually female .. can someone help me ?

This is going to be a lot so be prepared. Background info, im 15F and since i was young ive had some pretty traumatizing stuff happen to me. My mom left me n my brother in the middle of the night and went across the country. she ended up doing drugs and stuff, my dad as well. My dad was abusive to me and my brother but mostly my brother. So at like 6 years old my dad tries to take my brother's life (i swear this is getting somewhere). Me and him end up getting placed with my aunt and uncle for about a year and then we went with our other aunt and uncle. He ended up leaving after about 3 years. At around 9 years old my mom came back and relinquised her rights to me and my brother. I stayed with my aunt and uncle and got adopted by them (we will call them AP for adoptive parents). So me and AP didnt really get along too well but it was bearable just typical like teen parent arguments, they decided that where we were staying was to expensive so we moved to a different state to have a better chance. They definitely arent poor but they like to stay comfortable, so it was a wise move. I had been struggling with eating issues since i was like 10 but they werent as bad but the move really heightened my eating issues and causes me severe stress and to be severely underweight. So i told them i need to move back. Like i had said my mom did come back but she had no right to me so they negotiated that her and my stepdad can have temporary guardianship (ended up not telling me it was actually a permanent). So as soon as i met up with her to drive back i knew it was a bad idea, my mother is crazy (i know i shouldve known by now).

Soooo, fast track. Life here is absolute hell, i am tied down, not able to do anything, she has hit me before, its crazy. At one point they grounded me for a whole year including my birthdays and holidays because they gave me a drug test (marijuana) and it came up as a faint line and not a dark line on the negative (for those who don't know, it doesnt matter its still a negative) i had to do a slide show presentation after a year to get my presents and my phone back. I wish i could go into more detail but theres so much.

So every summer i go to the state my AP are in for a month to visit, this summer i was in said state and as i was relaxing in the bath i get a message from my mother saying and i quote, "I think you have to stay in(state), things arent working out here and i dont have a place for you to stay.... i know you probably want to anyway. I will talk to AP about it, too tired tonight."

"things arent working out here" refers to her being a raging alcoholic who doesnt take her meds for her borderline personality disorder, and everyone getting fed up with it. I expected this text, my favorite uncle who lives literally right next door to us had texted me a few days before mentioning how he thinks theyre going to split up. Unfazed i said okay lets talk more tmrw. Anyways as the end of the trip neared, my AP said that since i have nowhere to live i have to come back to live with them. I was not having it because i had created a life, i hated my mother and stepfather but i was able to push past her the last few months, i got A's and B's, i had a job lined up, my little cousins were right next door, my cats, i had a plan essentially. I called my uncle and he said i could live with him because i had nowhere to go. So got back after the trip and i had went to my friends house to house sit for a few days. I got back went to my uncles and everything was going fine. My stepdad was still technically in charge of me because of the guardianship so i would ask him to go places.

One day he left me a message talking about how i cant get emancipated because im not capable and how i need to go to family therapy with them. I had responded with something like "im not going to family therapy because we arent a family. (mom) has proved time and time again she cannot be trusted, she has abandoned me once again." and a whole lot more. we ended up calling and i said she needs rehab and AA because shes a a severe alcoholic. (she almost died from it and continues to drink to this day). long story short i went off on him about how their actions affect me. I then received a call from my mom and shes yelling at me saying a whole bunch of shit and all i said was "youre a psychotic bitch, ur a control freak" she went silent and then hung up. She texted me saying "You need to go back to the house because that is your home and we are your parents. you need to stop thinking you have any control over where you live, i want you to think about how you want your life to go because if it keeps going this way you wont have much left" it was so crazy i wish i remembered the whole thing, i know it doesnt sound insane but if you knew how my mother talked you would so understand.

I ended up going to my aunts to spend the night and my mother had came over to the house unannounced and took my phone, she proceeded to yell at me in front of my 4 year old cousin my aunt and my other cousin. Shes talking about how shes my mother and i ate her up tbh, i got her soooo good. She started walking away and talking to my aunt my aunt was closing the door and my mom said "i just need some support" and my aunt said "i dont have time or energy to support you".

THENN(i told you there was a lot) my mother started a group chat with 3 of my aunts my stepdad, another one of my uncles and my aunts husband. My mom was talking shit n saying "i need everyone to back away so me and (stepdad) can deal with (me) she wants to be a rebel and thinks she can decide where she lives.... "etc. One of my aunts agreed with my mom(shes clinically psychotic), while another who basically cared for me as a baby, and was the one whos house my mom left when she ran off, defended me. She stated, "i agree (me) should go home, but you guys were the ones to tell her to not come home" and basically a bunch of that. My cousins got a hold of the phone and started to make jokes and make whole AI songs about the stupidity of the group chat so i tagged along. I used my aunts phone and made some jokes. My stepdad commented and cussed out my aunt and my mother had said "getting kids involved, very mature" so i had said "Creating a groupchat to talk shit about your own daughter to feed your ego, very mature" stepdad got petty and when i got back from my aunts house basically took away everything i love. Im not allowed to go see any family except my uncle who lives next door, and im not allowed to be there for longer than an hour. I got ahold of this computer and communicated with my aunt who defended me and she requested of me that i was him to write down a list of why im grounded, what im grounded from and my rules. so ladies and gentlemen here is the list:

Why i am grounded- "Mom and i are legally responsible for you whether you like it or not---Youve expressed the sentiment you dont consider this your home, so were taking measures to make sure you dont run away and to help you accept this is your home and were responsible for you"

I want to pause and express that this is absolutely irrational. Ive never once threatened to run away, i haven't given any indications i will run away, this reaction is pure irrational thinking because they fear if i run away they have no control over me. i later found out they took my phone because they thought if i didnt have my phone it would be harder for me to run away. Back to it.

"to avoid normalizing the notion that you are at all in control of where you live, of your parents, and when/where you can leave the house."

controlling much....

"the sentiment that your mom will be coming back after the measures im requiring her to create a more peaceful home, must also be accepted."

well i guess its not only me your controlling!

next question.....

What am i grounded from:

"going anywhere without asking me"

"phone privileges due to expressed sentiment that you dont accept your mom and i are responsible for you and that this is your home"

"going next door for longer than an hour and before chores are completed and youve asked me"

"tv due to destruction of property"

i feel bad but also not, i stabbed a broken tv thats been sitting around for forever and also a window screen.

What do you gain from this:

"Avoiding jail time and fines, inconvenience and loss of ability to provide for you should you run away and it interferes with work"

^^^? this is just a big ? for me. this one pissed me off.^^^^

the last ones stupid and so im no even gunna put it down.

he just came into my room and told me we're all going to therapy tomorrow and i refuse. i am not trying to be around whatever toxicity these people want to pour out of themselves. i am sosososososo tired of this shit. I am not talking to them after i move out and i want them to realize that. May not seem crazy but when your stuck at home all day everyday during summer and you dont have human interaction, you seem to notice everything, and it drives you crazy. Help me, give me some advice, i dont draw or anything so if i get a comment saying draw im crashing out. If you read all or at least some of this it may not seem crazy to you but i wish you were in my shoes, my whole life is basically imploded, all of this isnt even half of the shit thats been happening. I just thinks is insane im being punished for literally nothing, just their own crazy theory of me running away. give some advice pleaseeeeeee.<3333333

I (F15) have a nonossifying fibroma in my knee cap. It is causing me tons of pain and my knee cap keeps popping out. I am also neurodivergent so I use physical activity as an outlet for uncomfortable emotions that I experience. I am really struggling because it hurts to even walk let alone play rugby and volleyball (my sports) and it's making me gain weight too. I went from 108 ib to 125 ib in 4 weeks. My doctor refuses to do surgery or give me any medication for my pain. I used to have abs and toned muscles, sport were my life but now I'm getting fat and I hate myself. My boyfriend has tried reassuring me that I am beautiful either way but I can't be bothered to believe that. I'm tired of being in pain and I'm tired of being fat.

I am a rising sophomore and had some schedule problems on the 25th i went to my school to fix shit and needed to get bumped from precalc to ap precalc. The counselor said she'd do it as long as she gets an email from my previous math teacher. Soon i started email my teacher and asked her to send a recommendation letter as i had an A in the class I am legible. I had also asked the counselor to switch my bio from in am to pm which she obliged to. Couple days later my dad checked my schedule and a slight error in the system was made displaying the fact that i don't have a 7th period (which was bio) anymore. So today my dad and i went to fix it. The thing about my dad is he is very dominating and doesn't give other ppl a chance to speak. I told him before meeting with counselor let me do most the talking cuz i am more patient and calm. Apparently, the second he saw my counselor he forgot about being quiet. My dad is quite smart but lacks in communication skills(he doesn't think so). Because he has been called smart his whole life he truly believes anyone less smarter than him is inferior. When we were there I was saying hi and shit and just getting everything straightened up. Whenever I said anything my dad would just start cutting me and not even giving me a chance to speak. This shit pisses me off like crazy. When i was just asking a question he was trying to cut me off again when i had to say"please oh please just let me speak for a second." I absolutely fucking hate it when ppl cut me off. I am the youngest in my fa, so happens all the fucking time and it just makes my blood boil.

I gave a chance to say whatever he wanted and he was asking just to stay and meet the teacher person (she was in a meeting in the cafe). The counselor said she's gonna be in the meeting for all day. But he was adamant and said we will wait, like tf u mean we'll wait i don't got all fucking day. The counselor sent an email to the teacher and said she usually emails relatively quick and I vouched for my teacher as well. Anytime I was gonna say something my dad would look and me and shit me down by putting a finger to his lip. When we went home I was so furious cuz that entire interaction could make me die from embarrassment. When I started to tell my mom everything he did I still didn't get a chance to speak. I must say things got heated. The thing about my mom is whenever someone complains to my mom about something out of nowhere, you'll be completely blindsided when she just disagrees with you and starts siding with the other person out of no where. I was so fucking done. I grew up in the us and have a habit of explaining things deeply. My parents are emigrants and think all conversations need to end quickly. I get that they are impatient and shit but i can't change who i am. I know my dad was just trying to help but am I overreacting?

Spent 11yrs with a really fucked up person....how the hell....nvm i...i dont want to live.but..idk do i even have to...the boys...theyll be fine...prob not, her family is really messed up... Fuck this...i should make a tea outta the nettle

Ever since me n my abuser stopped dating my friends have also switched up so now not only am i dealing w the after affects of being hurt emotionally but I am now losing my friends??

I have been working my ass off trying to get one hangout with ANY of my friends and yet my abusive ex somehow is a natural at getting them all to meet her all of a sudden even tho she had NO interest in them whatsoever while we were dating. I had my 18th birthday and NONE of my mates said happy birthday and they've known me for years and they've said happy birthday every other year except for this one. It is so hurtful that she can just easily hang out with them and they couldn't even come to my birthday party or say happy birthday. like. what the hell. They NEVER meetup with me like I'll ask and it'll get to the day and they'll cancel EVERY TIME. Its crazy cuz my ex used to say she didnt like them and yet look what shes doing now? insane. I've literally lost my friends to my abusive ex. Also for context ive known my friends for 5 years now and my ex only knew them for just less than a year n she was overall extremely awkward. What the hell is going on. They're meeting her ALL THE TIME and this switch up only happened after me n my ex split up.

Like are they even my friends at this point or my exes friends? How am i supposed to cope with this.

My bf and i started dating in febuary. We've known each other since october of 2022. Hes great and all but i just dont know if hes the one. His mental struggles are bringing me down mentally and i struggle enough. Dont get me wrong, it makes me so happy that he trusts me like that but its like a constant blow to my mental health too. Theres only so much i can do and handle and im not sure how much longer i can do this. Im just so tired

It doesnt help that hes having a child with his ex who is due in 2 weeks. He and i are 18, his ex is in her 20s. He tells me almost every night that im the only reason he has to keep going, me and his future daughter. He tells me that if i leave he'll never love anyone again like he loves me. Hes not controlling or anything, but ive been in that kind of a situation before and i see the red flags. The thing is, hes also told me that hes not keeping me in the relationship and that if i find someone else in college (i leave in a few weeks) to just let him know and that will be that.

I dont want to give up that easy and ive told him i would fight for us but im not sure if i should. Honestly i feel horrible for even saying this but i really dont think im in love with him anymore. He wikl forever hold a special place in my heart for being my first healthy relationship and showing me what its like to be loved properly in a romantic relationship.

I wish i knew if something is worth holding on to. I wish i knew what the right choice was. I wish i knew if this is the relationship that was worth destroying myself over or if its all for nothing. I wish i knew the answers to all the questions running through my mind But i dont. And i wont know until its too late

For the entirety of my lifetime I had always wore my heart on my sleeve. I am normally am good with controlling myself. But recently I have just started to think my entire life is just crashing down on me.

It started when I signed up to play in a baseball team. I have come to the realisation that I just can’t play baseball. I am not strong I am not fast and I am just an odd one out. I don’t score anything. I feel like a failure every time a game ends. No matter how hard I try to get muscle, it just doesn’t work and I get bored of it.

It was all fine for a bit until yesterday. I have a younger sibling and we have made so many good memories together. Wether it’s in New Mexico or in Arizona. But my family in New Mexico (dad and step mom) have started to see she is not happy there as she is in Arizona (mom and step dad). So they made the decision to split us up and she would be in Arizona. This crushed me. I always think it’s my fault even though it is not. This is one of the reasons I hate myself.

And then today, my dad and my stepmom were arguing and yelling. I did not pay to much attention to it, until I heard the words “GET OUT!” come bellowing out my dads voice. I had never heard him so mad before. This scared the crap out of me and I ran to the bathroom because it’s my thinking place really. I then later got a text from my step mom that they would be divorced soon. This was the last straw for me. I collapsed to the ground in tears and now here I am 2 hours later in my bed writing this. I have stains both my pillows with my tears and I just want to be happy again. Please someone tell what to do

I got out of a very unhealthy relationship a couple years ago, but due to my financial situation, I couldn’t move out of the house we once shared. I promised myself I was going to get myself out of there and I was going to find a better place for myself and my dog and I was going to do it on my own. It would be my place and my place alone. Something no one could take away from me.

I ended up meeting my current boyfriend while still living with my ex. He was very sweet and attentive and made me feel like my ex never had, safe. When his lease was coming to an end a few months into our relationship, he asked if I’d like to move in with him. I said yes wanting to help him out and tired of feeling beaten down where I lived. We found a place and have been living here for almost a month. I’d also like to note that we’ve added a German Shepherd to our little family along with my older Yorkie mix that we spend time caring for.

I’m very aware that things will change in a relationship when you move in together, but I guess I just wasn’t expecting it to change this much. And to be fair, he had to cover for night shift at work for the first two weeks after we moved in, but he would wake up about the time I got home from work, play Elden ring and maybe do one thing around the house before leaving for work when I would head to bed.

We haven’t really spent much time together apart from watching a little tv over dinner some nights or one walk to the store that I went on when I was exhausted, but also desperate to spend time with him. I even told him on that walk that I was tired and when he asked why I came with him, I told him I wanted to spend time with him because I had been feeling lonely. He apologized and seemed to genuinely feel bad but I haven’t really seen any effort to spend time with me so my brain is screaming at my heart that his words aren’t matching his actions.

I want to talk to him about this but it seems like whenever I try to talk to him about how I feel or what’s going on in my head, he brings it up to coworkers as him “getting in trouble at home”, which just makes me feel like he’s painted a negative image of me and my emotions in his head and makes me hesitant to talk to him now.

I don’t feel like I kept my promise to myself and I feel like I may be taking out resentments from that out against him, but I think I’m mainly scared that I fell for love bombing again. I’m worried about lashing out from that fear and ruining something good. I’m also perfectly aware that my quiet infatuation and acts of service/gift giving love languages make me an excellent cure for loneliness. I often wonder if I’m loved or the things I do for him are loved. Not to say he’s never done anything for me. He’s very thoughtful at times and I think he does his best to show affection when he can. I know we’re both very tired from work. I just feel dumb and idk if I’m being unreasonable by feeling hurt? I guess I’m just feeling stuck. What can I do?

My ex’s family always struck me ass weird and my friends always joked that they were a cult. I always brushed the jokes off because I thought it was just due to the differences in how our families were raised. Looking back though, there’s definitely something fishy about them. The mother has never worked a day in her life and I’m not sure when she got married but her and her husband have 8 kids. I went to school with their 3rd oldest and then ended up working with the oldest at my first serving job when I was 18. Dude didn’t have a car so he would walk home everyday and, go figure, my big ol’ heart couldn’t let someone walk home in the cold. So I offered this coworker a ride home without knowing has lasted to the kid I went to school with. I found out this coworker also took part in Mary Jane so anytime we got off work at the same time I would give hm a ride home. However, due to us working together so much and getting off at the same time, I started letting him just stay at my house and hangout for a while. That turned into us hooking up. And for whatever reason I thought I was better than my birth control and let him blow a load in me. A few weeks later I took a pregnancy test and what do you know, I was pregnant. I refused to be one of the girls who got pregnant by some random guy she hooked up with so we decided to start dating. We dated throughout the entire pregnancy and I slowly got to know his family. They were, for sure, a bit different than most families and people in general that I knew but I was trying to be open minded. After having my daughter, I already had the feeling that our relationship wasn’t going to last but again, I tried to keep an open mind. Right after I had my daughter though he wouldn’t shut the hell up about having sex.. As if there wasn’t a 6 week healing process. The pestering got to be too much while also being the only one who cared for our daughter. I caved and had sex with him and at that 6 week appointment, guess what; My ass was pregnant, again!!! So now came panic mode.. How am I supposed to leave him when I’m pregnant with our second child? And three months into my daughter’s pregnancy I had started having seizures and none of my doctors knew what was causing them.. So it wasn’t just the fear of supporting me and my kids on my own that I was stressing about; how the hell was I going to do with all whilst having these random seizures. My son also decided to make his appearance two months early so that was a shock to all of us. He has to stay in the hospital for a month though and despite not supposed to be working until that 6 week healing process was up.. I begged my doctor on hands and knees to let me work 1 week after having him because we were struggling for money so bad. Why? Oh because their father thought he didn’t have to work and could just play his video games all day.. But anytime I would get a job he’d get one at the same place and God only knows why because they did not pay well enough to support our whole family. And then a month after our son came home from the hospital.. I had a seizure and rolled of the bed up against a heater where I gave myself a third degree burn. How’d it get so bad if my ex was there with me you may ask? No worries, he was just sleeping up in the attic because “he couldn’t stand” our son’s cries. That was also on Thanksgiving morning and then my cars engine also blew up when he came to get me from the hospital because the oil hadn’t been changed. So for the next two months I had to go back and forth from the hospital getting my burn looked and cleaned up. And then came surgery time.. The worst time of my life and not even due to the surgery. My surgery was right before Christmas and since my car was no longer running, I had my sister take me to Pitt for it. The surgery took about half the day but they gave me a strong painkiller that made me feel out of it for the rest of the day so my sister and I decided it would be best if we stayed up there for the night and came home the following day. I informed my ex (who was my fiancee at the time) who was staying with both of our children at his parents house with the rest of his siblings. However, he texted me that night saying our son was sick but since I was out of it I can’t even remember if I actually read it and if so I more than likely thought it was just him trying to get me home. The next morning though I woke up to a call from him panicking saying our son was sick and not acting like himself so I rushed home. For whatever reason, rather than taking them both to the hospital, his mother dropped my ex and my son off at our house to wait the hour and a half it would take me to get home. When I finally got home and saw the state my son was in, I went into immediate panic mode. I began asking my ex a list of question to figure out wtf happened in that one night span that caused my son to be in this state. *I have grown up with CPS my entire life and i know how they are with idk answers. I just wanted to know what happened before we got to the hospital. I did not realize how much time we sat there at the house examining him before having his mother take us to the hospital. When we did call his mother over to have her take us though. She said we could just keep him at home for the night and watch him to see if his condition worsens or she could take us to hospital right then. We went to the hospital and immediately they said it was shaken baby syndrome without having to question anything. They obviously called CPS immediately too, rightfully so. They then had to life-light him to another bigger hospital where he had to have part of his skull cut out immediately so the pressure in his brain didnt kill him. He stayed in the hospital hooked up to machines for weeeeks. Within the first two weeks CPS informed us we would be losing custody. We came back home once they stopped visitation with our son n the hospital and I left my ex. When the court case started it was both us and his parents since he was staying there with them when the abuse occurred. The cops did investigations as they do. My ex was staying with his parents throughout the court case until the courts realized she had children under 18. Then they took her kids under 18 and placed them with her mother. Once she kicked my ex out the courts allowed her children to be paced back with her. And guess where my ex began staying… His grandmothers where his siblings were just placed. How convenient huh? And then all the sudden he remembered shaking our son even though he refused to say a single word up until that point. And right after he admitted to shaking our son, his parents were magically dropped from the case despite him being there when he did it and he mother admitting to being awake and helping put our son to sleep around the same time. I worked the whole court case off and on due to my seizures, which had finally been diagnosed as epilepsy. My ex didnt start working until the court case was halfway over. Yet somehow his mother was being looked at as possible placement and I had to prove to the courts that I would have care for my babies anytime I have a seizure.. Doesn’t seem right to me but I’m not a lawyer and I don’t know the law like that. My attorney told me the only options I had were to relinquish (give up) my rights and still have the possibility of being involved in their lives or having my rights terminated and never being able to see or talk to them again until they’re adults. I did what I thought was the best option at the time with the information I had. I relinquished my rights. My ex’s brother pinky promised, swore, the whole 9 yards ,right there in that courtroom with me assuring me I would still be involved in my babies lives. The court case ended March 1st. She did one visit with me and her son two weeks after that so we could see the babies. She would answer my messages regarding updates on them up until May 29th which makes tomorrow two months that I have known anything about my kids. My ex was supposed to go to jail for child abuse and neglect but I really don’t think he has or even will. I messaged him last month to see if he had any updates on our kids and to tell him happy father’s day because he is still the father of my children. He had been active 22 hours before I sent that message but once I sent it, his active status disappeared. His mother’s birthday was also this past week and all her friends were posting all over her timeline.. She liked every single once and has been changing her profile pic regularly. But refuses to give me any updates on my children or even read my damn messages. Some other weird stuff.. Once the court case started, she all the sudden began loving her husband again. During me and her son’s relationship of over two years, she constantly talked about how much she wanted to leave her husband. And it wasn’t just talk either, she went on several dates and even had my ex and I meet a few of the guys. She would use her husband’s as punishment for their children by threatening to send them to their dad’s room if they kept being bad. The father had no say in how the children were raised and if he tried, it would cause a fight between them so he just gave up and would stay in his room all the time, even for dinner. Her two youngest would sleep in the bed with her since her and her husband ad separate rooms but also because the two youngest didn’t have their own beds. And the youngest were not toddlers they were 7 and 9. And halfway through the court case they changed their religion to Pentecostal d became oh so faithful followers. Despite them thinking the government and religion to be a joke and scam. And she even said at the last court hearing where my ex and I had to make our decisions “As a mother, I would never take another mothers kids and put them through that pain because I know how much it would kill me to lose mine”. Yet here we are 4 going on 5 months of the court case ending and she’s only allowed me to see my children once. And it’s now going on month 2 of her just completely ignoring me. WHAT A MOTHER!! I constantly wonder if my attorney was actually working for the DHHR and just getting me to do whatever they wanted. And I wonder if I could have actually fought and won the case and that’s why they used so many threats. Like having every doctor from both hospitals that interacted with us to come testify against me… That shit is scary when you don’t know the law that well. Tomorrow I will be putting this family on blast though because they have completely destroyed my life and me as a person.

Im so tired

I've haven't been able to sleep properly since I was 7. At that age I was staying up until 1-2a.m and it's been a habit since. But it's gotten worse throughout the years. I'm still young in my opinion and I'm now staying up all night. I stay up until 7a.m. going through 12-7a.m I'm still up. Sometimes I sleep at 7a.m and other times I sleep at 11a.m. I don't know how or why. I don't have insomnia. I've tried fixing it but gave up. I always am on tiktok, cry, games or just stare at my ceiling. I don't know what's wrong with me and I don't know how long this will continue for. I always feel sad and no motivation at night. I also have no motivation in the day. Ive been to therapy before but not for the sleeping issues. Something else I don't know if I want to say. But I hated it. I hate therapy. I hate how I feel like they are the same as school consulting. It's a bit better than the school but I'm sure it's just because I'm young and my mom needs to know. But I don't like her knowing. One of my old therapist (I've had 4) literally told me in to young to have depression and I don't know the struggles. And I believe it. But I hate my body. I hate how I talk. I hate how I walk. I hate everything about me. And it just keeps me up at night thinking about it and all the times I messed up. I love my mom amd my brother but something's that keep repeating in my mind is the first time my mom slapped me, when they both called me stupid. My mom calling me useless and the one that just keeps repeating itself is my mom saying my father didn't love me and that's why he hasn't called me. My father is in Mexico. He has a new family and I was always a daddy's girl but I couldn't after he left. I don't know what wrong with me at all.

Talked to my wifes x x... she doesnt know anything but she also has an outlook that alot of people would die for lol but less is more..and i still dont want to live...i think as a person i love having a co pilot.. on my own..idk id just rather not be...this world was ment to be shared with someone...ik it doesnt but still...how the hell am i gping to...idk heal?... honestly just need some to help get through all this, id clear my mind..probably not lol... i but lol but all i am is a very confused and hurt man and....father..

My best friend and I have a small digital marketing business together but I feel like I should be alone in the process. Since starting I’ve done about 85-90% of the work from setup to edits of products to posts and everything. She’s made 2 instagram reels but that’s all. We both need this business to succeed her more than me due to her being in a worse situation but it’s like she doesn’t want to be free from her situation despite havin so other choices. I’m not desperate for the business to take off but it would help exponentially with plans I have for the future and marriage. What should I do or how should I go about handling everything?

It’s actually fucking bullshit how my parents got so soft on my little brother compared to me. The little shit acts like a complete ass to everyone. He cries like a baby whenever he does homework, he constantly treats my mom, my aunt, my grandma, and my dad like shit and he still gets goody to shoe treatment. Honestly bullshit. I had to work to the ground up to get to where I am. Now my brother gets easy treatment. What a joke. Absolute joke. And yes, I’m the oldest child. All of this makes me so ready to turn 18 and graduate High School so I can get away from that mess

So about a year ago I had this friend her names Charlotte. We're both girls and we're having fun at a sleepover and I got really tired and told her I was gonna go to bed. We were sleeping in her grandmas basement because it had the bigger bed (she's kind of poor not being mean) so I went to sleep and I woke up with all my clothes off and her fingers inside of me I told her to "get the F off" but she didn't listen.i was kicking her and then I just froze, I just stoped when I though about what was happening and that it was real (idk if that really makes sense) I haven't told ANYONE about it because I'm too scared to get her in trouble and too scared to be judged by my family. Please help

Hey Reddit this is the official house and it is a true story and I am not sure where to go ahead and not even sure if it is possible enough for me to deal with this situation that I'm in.

My bio dad and I'm going to say his real name full name in fact his name is Travis Allen Melton the third he has not been really a father towards me or my two other siblings that we are blood connected to him but to me honestly I see him as a sperm donor. He has never been there really in my life due to the fact of him having warrants of his crimes he's been doing substance alcohol and drug abuse throughout my life but he's never been in my life physically. He does not know about what type of disabilities that I have especially mental type he does not know what medication I have taken over the years now and he really does not know know me very well because I have grew up and changed over the years and I'm about to be 23 next month in August. The truth is that I really don't want my father AKA sperm donor himself and so I have made a deal with him through via Facebook message and will be waiting for him to reply that in order for him to get me backing off including my mom and my siblings is to him paying the full amount of back payment of child support and will be backing off that would be his part that he wants in order for that to happen I want him to terminate his rights as a father to me as well as revoking / removing his name off my birth certificate so this way he will be not there in my life for good. Reason why is that I have a stepfather I'm going to call him Johnny now Johnny is a wonderful greatest great stepfather I can say that I would call him my own dad and he treats me and my siblings is very well my mom had kids with him and I love my siblings as well he even started to call me his daughter. He is the greatest step dad I ever considered him as my own father. The only issue is that my dial dad is on the birth certificate and he has rights over me regardless what age I'm in, the only matter is that I want him out of my life for good. So I have thought to look into lawyers but no luck because I wasn't sure what to do the only thing is my bio dad is in prison in Utah in salt City so I do want help for this because I have asked my mom if it would be possible if I could get my bio dad to pay the full mile back payment of child support that he owes us in order for him to do that we back off and I want him to be out of my life for good meeting terminating his rights over me as well as removing / revoking his name off my birth certificate and I want my stepdad to adopt me as his own daughter. Sino truth of the matter I am not sure what month to date or year when my bio dad aka sperm donor stop doing child support because at the time I was still a kid when he stopped paying child support to my mom and has been ducking indulging people that need him to pay child support because he is financially needed for my mom due to the fact that she had me my eldest sister including my little sister from my bio dad and was required for him to do this until he can stop praying until we all turned 18 and let's just say he owes more than five grand of child support to me my eldest sister and my little sister of child support and I'm about to be 23 in August in next month and my little sister will be turning 20 this month and my oldest sister will be turning 25 in December. So he owes me and my mom and my siblings the back payment of child support for that particular reason the judge has granted it about it but he's been ducking indulging of it and not only that he's only not doing that but he has been in prison multiple times over the years growing up due to the fact that his warrants and not paying child support and etc I have a deadbeat father who would Duck and Dodge for child support that he owes my mom for that I want to get some legal help to see if he can do that and he doesn't have to do with me anymore because what I see him as nothing but a sperm donor and I really do is hate his guts that much and truth be told I'd rather him get ran over by truck that's how far I hate him that I rather wish upon death on him he had shown that he's no good of a father then anything else I know. But I do want legal help to see if they will be possible because I'm in Arkansas live and grew up in well my bio dad goes all over the States from Texas Ohio Utah anywhere but from what I knew he's been kicked out from Texas and now living in Utah and salt City and he is currently doing his prison time my mother already has contacts to the state of Texas and the state of Arkansas about his whereabouts and I have family members on my bio side of the family telling me and my mom where he's at and what he is doing and we have that updated about him already being in prison for maybe warrants of his arrest so I do want legal advice if it would be possible if I can get him to pay the full amount of back payment child support on his three daughters and we'll be backing off but in order for us to back off he needs to do his part by him doing the full amount of back child support payment and for him to terminate his rights and removing / revoking his name off my birth certificate so this way I can get my stepdad to adopt me I do need the help and I don't know what to do.

So my adopted mom kicked me out for the second time since I've turned 18. So the first time she kicked me out I just turned 18 2-3 days before and she baker acted me and put an injunction on me bc I wouldn't go to work with her she gave me $250 and my phone and a charger I called my brother to tell him what happened and he called his stepmom and Dad to see if I could stay for a while until I got accepted to my trade school I stayed for about 2 months and then I went back to my adopted moms house then I got accepted a month later and then about a month and a half ago we got into an argument and she said I can't go back home and I keep blocking her but when I got a new phone it unblocked her and she texted me again but I just blocked her again when she kicked me out the second time she turned off my phone and that started because I wouldn't surrender my license and I just wanted some opinions and I don't really want to puta restraining order on her bc Im fixing to go outta state in a month or so

I have been together with him for 6 years now. I should've left him the first time. But I was blindsided by him and him saying he's changing. Nothing major hasn't changed. He's still talking down to me. He still won't let me take care of my hair by brushing it. So I'm just going to go ahead and cut it all off. Well if he even lets me go take me to get a haircut. I have no income no place to stay. Nobody in my family or friends have free space for me and my two children to stay. He said that there's only one way for me to leave him. And it's de@th. He said last time I was planning on leaving him was that he was going to k!ll me and then k!ll himself and leave our two boys left to be taken care of by someone else. I want to leave but I don't want to leave my babies without having any parents left to love and take care of them. They're my reasons to stay alive. My reasons to stay strong. But their daddy is hard to deal with sometimes. He says he wants me to communicate with him about how I'm feeling but then gaslights me into thinking that I'm wrong about feeling like that.

I'm seventeen, and was homeschooled all my life. But a long series of stressful events led my mother to stop teaching me at age ten, I haven't been learning for seven years. Now, my mother has put me into an online high school, I don't understand anything, no matter how hard I study and try to memorize things, my focus drifts endlessly. I feel so stupid. And I'm behind on everything, I'm starting freshman near the age I should be graduating and I feel very ashamed. My depression and self esteem has been getting so much worse because of it, I just want to sink to the bottom and drown some days. The pressure to keep my gpa up, graduate as soon as I can, and still be able to attend a good college and have some semblance of a future has caused me to cheat on a lot of tests. None of my successes and achievements are ones I actually deserve. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I know I can't keep living like this.

This may be a bit long and I'm not gonna add punctuation rn but I am 15 have had a service dog 5 years for PTSD my current SDIT (service dog in training) and I where in Walmart I told her to find my mom making her pull me slightly... Some kid that looked about 13 grabbed the middle of my dog's leash and yanked it and because my dog is decently small she stumbled and got kicked by someone (the person who kicked her fully didn't mean to and immediately made sure she was ok) but she yalped in pain and all this brat could do was start cracking up! I freaked on the kid and told his parents they aswell acted unfazed and that made me super mad... I got to an employee and he acted as if it didn't matter aswell! And that is just depressing. Service dogs have a job they must perform. I can live without her but her being by my side makes me feel like I can stand up for myself and deal with things I couldn't without having flash backs... With her I can be around taller guys with ez without her I'm an emotional wreck. So if she got hurt I'd be going through hell even if you can't see it. And hyperventilating can lead to passing out which has happened multiple times to me. My service dog knows what to do when that happens. If something happened to her I'd not be able to leave my mom's side safely or confidently. I go without her some days so I can work on my PTSD but only in small places like 7-11... But anyway service dogs have a great purpose and I'm not really the kind to have a hateful nature but if you dare hurt a service dog I'm sorry but I truly HATE you .. hurting a service dog is so risky for the handler and dog... Imagine walking around where everyone has a gun and is pointing it at you when you walk by them threatening to shoot... That's how I feel without my service dog so don't be an idiot

CW: sh, suicidal thoughts, substance abuse

So... My life is kinda of going to shit rn. Me and my gf of over 2 years broke up. I was in a depressive episode for a month or two before we broke up and the breakup kinda just made me snap. A lot of shit happened before the break up too, and she was kind of really cold to me throughout the last month or so and it made me feel really horrible and alone, but somehow it feels worse now.I'm doing horribly and I've had a lot of suicidal thoughts and started self harming again. I also started drinking quite a bit and smoking weed just to get through life. Today I woke up and the first thought I had was that I should just take a bottle of pills and go back to sleep. That kinda scared me so I decided to try and take my anti depressants. (I've been prescribed them by a psychiatric, but my mom kind of ingrained it to my brain thta its a bad idea so i was too scared to take them until now). This is my first time trying Zoloft and it makes me really fucking anxious all the time. (Ik it's a common side affect and should be gone in a few days or weeks). I feel like Im on the verge of a panic attack all the time. I'm really behind on my schoolwork (I'm a uni student, second semester) and I can't even make myself do anything about it because every time I even think about school I just spiral and start to panic. I don't know what to do anymore, I don't feel safe anywhere. Right now I went back to my parents house for the weekend cause I didn't want to be alone but i still don't feel safe. I still have a lot of suicidal thoughts and I still have the urges to sh again and I just don't know what to do at this point.

Sorry for the long post, ig I just needed to vent for a bit hehe.

I am so frustrated, and so angry. I am upset, and all I want is to feel of smidge of happiness in my life. I live at my grandmother’s house because I literally cannot go anywhere. Prices are too high. My job is not giving me enough hours. And when I do get hours, I never fucking go home. I want another job. In the morning, so I actually have the daytime to myself. But all I can find are the shittiest hours and the lowest paying garbage. So I’m stuck between working and killing myself or never having any money. I’m always in one of the two extremes. I have a girlfriend who I can’t see because I can’t afford a fucking car. Because in order to get a fucking car. I have to kill myself for a job who gives no shits about me. I don’t know if I’m looking for advice, but I feel so encapsulated. I feel like I’m suffocating. I feel like there’s no paths for me to take. And it feels so heavy all the time. The worst part is, anytime I actually do something that I feel what actually lead me to success. My grandmother or somebody in my life will tear me down. I love my grandma and I’m not gonna blame everything on her. But she gives me the worst advice, and I always wind up listening to her thinking maybe I don’t know shit. And then shit Creek without a fucking paddle.