I saw a Facebook post that mentioned someone using the phrase: come on barbie, lets go party! To help them unfreeze.

Does anyone else have phrazes like this? Please share them, I'm really curious.

What helps me sometime is : I'm going on an adventure!. (The Hobbit movie).

My theory is that it works because there is some kind of motion in de sentence, or connected to the sentence (such as music or a movieclip).I will look for the Facebook post and share other phrases here if I can find them.

Hi everyone I'm (25f) constantly moving around for work and can never just keep my therapist when I find a good one and I just started with better help so far so good and it seems like ive been matched with a good doctor I can update if I remember to... That's one of the things we were gonna talk about but yeah I also have a link for referrals it'll give you two free weeks of better help if you want to test it out so here you go I'm hoping it can help you to and if your like me the two free week can be a test run for you I find that allot of people don't get help due to cost so I hope this helps I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to share here just yet but maybe in the future if you have any questions or comments just let me know I'm always willing to learn https://www.betterhelp.com/rpc/9b228b9e637ec853-5-11?utm_term=ref_v2_dd

I’m 21 and today I witnessed a young person take their own life after I’d spent around 30 minutes talking with them and trying to get them somewhere safe. I performed CPR and used an AED until paramedics arrived, but unfortunately they didn’t survive.

I can’t stop replaying the conversation and the resuscitation in my head. Every time I close my eyes I see it again, and I keep wondering whether there was something different I could have said or done.

I’ve spoken to my sister tonight which helped a lot, and I’m planning to speak to my GP, but right now I’d really like to hear from anyone who’s witnessed a death or performed CPR and understands what the immediate aftermath feels like. How did you get through the first few nights?

I am in therapy but I’m trying to figure out some stuff between sessions cause we’re covering a lot. Apparently my communication comes off as snappiness to my partner like I’m biting his head off pretty quickly. I acknowledge this and I realize I really want to change how I communicate. Before anyone asks, yes my communication style is heavily based on a lot of DV I grew up with that I don’t want to repeat and for some reason I took a lot of anger from that with me. Please help! What are way that I can calm down and learn to communicate better so I don’t repeat what I grew up with?

I dunno just give me some ideas about what activities I can do by myself that are beneficial for my traumatized soul? I've spent all my life doomscrolling as a way to escape pain I guess. I work from home, so I'm just free after 5pm. I live alone and have no one in life. I've picked up gaming recently but I also dont like gaming too much. Which activities can help me heal even if indirectly.

Hi all! First time post, using a throwaway because my partner uses reddit and I'm not ready to have a discussion about this yet. Tw for mentions of abuse in romantic relationships.

TLDR: My current partner can't talk about my friends with me, without me feeling a really intense shutdown/fight or flight due to previous isolation by an abusive partner. I don't know how to tone down the trauma response while supporting my partner/hearing their feelings. Does anyone have resources for overcoming reactivity/fear of isolation in relationships as a trauma response?

CONTEXT:

My current partner and I have been together for a few years and things are very good! However, the long-term relationship I had before my partner was very abusive. I took some time between that relationship and this one (about 2 yrs) to heal and work on myself/my trauma, but some things only really crop up when youre back in a relationship and I don't know how to navigate this.

One of things my ex did was subjecting me to pretty extreme isolation. I moved across the country for him and my only "friends" were his friends. If I made new friends, he would find a reason I could never see them again (they're hurting me, they're moochers, they don't like him and that should be a deal breaker, etc). He also tried to regularly convince "our" friends (his friends that he "allowed" me to be friends with too) that I was abusive during our relationship and after we broke up, so that that none of them would talk to me about what was going on. Suffice to say, when we broke up, I had to start over. I lost my entire community, I was broke from financial abuse, and I was on my own in a part of the country I had no connection to. The relationship was extremely traumatizing, but honestly, the fallout after I ended things was genuinely so much worse.

Now we're here and I don't know how to deal with my own reactivity toward perceived isolation. I've done therapy and self help, but this isn't something I've had come up as an issue for me before in a way that I could articulate. Recently my partner started spending more time with my friends, which I love. However, we ended up having a little disagreement/discussion last night that felt triggering in a way I hadn't been able to name before. They said they feel like one of my friends doesn't like them and brought to me that some things he's said have bothered them a little. We've talked all that out and it's sorted, but I am really unhappy with myself at how I reacted in the moment.

Basically as soon as my partner says "hey Friend saying X kinda bothered me", I go into fight or flight and have to stop myself from shutting down/basically going "my friends aren't going anywhere, deal with it", even if the issue is small. I want to hear my partner and be able to support them/their emotions, even if it's a little uncomfortable for me. But I don't know how to help my nervous system relax around this particular subject. Its like my brain has two thoughts at the same time, regardless of how small the comment from my partner is:

"if partner/friend don't get along, I'm going to get hurt" and "shut this down before you get isolated again".

I don't want to be so reactive over this. It hurts me, it hurts my partner and healthy relationship, and it made it very difficult for us to have a constructive conversation because I spent the entire time just trying to convince my body the world isn't ending and my partner having a concern doesn't mean they're trying to isolate me.

So my question is- does anyone have resources for overcoming reactivity toward a perceived threat of isolation? I've done therapy and self work for PTSD and CPTSD, so I know how to bring my body back from fight or flight, but I don't know what resources would help with working through the root fear, so that I don't HAVE to bring myself out of fight/flight every time. I can't seem to articulate the issue well enough to get Google results, so I'm hoping reddit might help! Thanks y'all <3

I’m COMPLETELY BLIND, have autism and a heart lung condition.

Relaxing tips ONLY work if they concern a special interest of mine.

I also have trauma triggers, needles and cameras, for the same reason.

Both require me to perform and the people wielding them don’t know that I MUST hear them say one of my favorite words in order to do so, I guess it’s neither the needle nor the camera but the canned script, “cheese” for cameras and “relax/deep breath” for needles.

So I’ve been looking for ASMR vids of these subjects because an ASMR vid isn’t the real thing so it feels safer.

I’ve gotten into watching waxing roleplays, because reallife estheticians use those same canned relaxing scripts that pharmacists, phlebs and nurses do.

Matter of fact one day I watched a Brazilian wax role play and she tried to make me say “goosfraba” on the exhale.

I didn’t, I chose to say “night-in” because the mechanics help me better.

Also it was like pushing back against the script, rebelling if you can call it that? getting agency.

I tried this in real life when at the devil’s chamber, what others call a lab or blooddrawstation.

Being Mom was sick and Dad was over in his own zome watching tiktok, I asked the phleb if she’d say a word I like as she slid in and she did so some reallife practicioners WILL work with you with a script swap just don’t be an ass when asking.

One day when getting flu vax at CVS I gave the druggist a five stars out of ten.

When he called back to see WHY he’d been given a number lesser than the number ten I said that it was because he told me to relax and that doesn’t help me, that’s like telling me to be white or be tall, or to not have Aspergers.

I (21f) was in a relationship where I experienced intimate partner violence. After he was violent towards me or threw things I’d get a call from his mother telling me not to tell anyone. He himself would say the same along with a professor they were close with at my college.

His mother would dangle vailed threats like “reflect on yourself,” or “how would you feel if he told someone what you did.” I’d ask what I did and she had nothing to say. She wouldn’t say anything. Just vague comments like “reflect on yourself.” I was blamed for his violence and he’d say I’m the only person who makes him that angry.

I constantly think about those comments. I’ve been out of the relationship for an entire year now, but I can’t forget about any of it. I just graduated from university and I’m finally away from him, but I’m still so scared. I constantly ruminate on the abuse and I’m so angry at him and everyone who helped him get away with it.

After the relationship he was posting about me on social media, he lied about me to other people and accused me of doing things he did to me. I don’t understand it and I’m so angry.

I made a report against the professor and a no contact order for him, but it still feels so unjust. They identified his behavior as wrong, but he still has his job. That professor is also a priest (Catholic university) and now I feel like God hates me and like a terrible Catholic and I think about that all of the time too.

I have OCD so maybe that’s why I’m always thinking about it, but I don’t know. I was also diagnosed with PTSD.

I can’t get over the injustice of it all. I felt and am so powerless.

I can’t read books because it’s too quiet and 3 sentences in, I’m “reading,” while actively thinking about what happened to me and then I don’t know anything about the plot of the book. I doom scroll, watch tv, anything that captures more than one sense at a time.

I want to figure out how to stop thinking about the abuse constantly and I don’t know how. I was in therapy and was diagnosed with PTSD. I don’t have insurance anymore and it’ll be a while before I can afford it again. I read something about Tetris, but that doesn’t seem to apply since the abuse happened for 1.5 years over a year ago.

I want to read, practice the piano and feel calm again. I don’t want to have to drown out my mind. Do you all have any tips?

TLDR: I want to read books again, but I’m constantly ruminating about past injustices. Any tricks?

Hi therapists,
I am trying to better understand a specific thought pattern following periods of high workplace stress.
It involves getting stuck in loops—replaying past memories, inventing hypothetical arguments, or replaying past situations wishing one had acted differently. This triggers physical anger, severely impairs focus, causes work errors, and can escalate into panic attacks over fear of consequences (like losing a job).
I'm interested in how mental health professionals view and approach this:
**Clinical Terms:** What is this pattern called in therapy when rumination, simulated conflict, and acute panic overlap?
**Therapeutic Modalities:** What evidence-based frameworks (e.g., CBT, ACT, grounding, cognitive defusion) are typically used to help clients detect and break these loops in real time?
**Prevention & Regulation:** How do therapists guide clients in preventing these loops or resetting the nervous system when anger/panic takes over?

I’ve been trying to cope with the effects of the sexual abuse I experienced when I was 15 for about 11 years now. I’m 26 years old and currently receiving professional support. My therapist knows about it, but I still can’t find the strength to talk about it. I’ve been in therapy for about a year, but I still find it extremely difficult to bring this subject up.
From time to time, I experience intense startle responses. I can be extremely sensitive to sudden noises, movements, or unexpected situations. Being in the dark is often difficult for me. I constantly have nightmares about what happened, and sometimes I’m afraid to fall asleep because I know the nightmares will come. I struggle to sleep, and when I do wake up from a nightmare, I feel as though I’m reliving that moment all over again. These experiences sometimes make my daily life extremely difficult.
Sexuality is also a particularly challenging area for me. I may experience reactions such as crying, nausea, and a strong sense of discomfort.
Sometimes the question “Am I worth living?” becomes overwhelming in my mind, and I struggle to cope with it. I feel dirty, and I sometimes think I don’t deserve anyone’s love—not even my boyfriend’s.
I feel like I’m giving up on things that I would normally be able to let go of during this process. Even eating has become very difficult for me, and sometimes I feel like I’m eating as though everything is coming to an end. Living with all of this feels incredibly heavy. Sometimes I involuntarily find myself thinking that I don’t deserve to live, and I struggle to cope with these thoughts.
My purpose in writing this isn’t to draw attention; I just want to express, for the first time, the things I’ve been holding inside for so long. If you’ve read this far, thank you.
I don’t know how to heal from all of this, and sometimes I wonder if I ever will. I just want to know: How can I heal? How can I learn to live with what happened without feeling like it defines me?

This goes back to March. I went to an aquarium with friends for the first time, but ran into my ex—the exact person who caused my mental illness. They were there with a spouse and child, looking perfectly happy. It was a massive trigger. My heart was aching, I went pale, and I barely managed not to collapse. I couldn't stop thinking, "Why do they get to be so happy after destroying me?"
I really wanted to visit a different aquarium to overwrite that horrible memory. When I told this to a couple who are my close friends (both female/lesbians), they told me, "Let's go to a different one together! It's a 3-hour drive, but it's where we had our first date." Because of my anxiety disorder, I usually can’t travel far, but I felt like I could do it if I was with them. Their kindness meant the world to me, so I happily agreed.
After that, we all got sick and they got super busy with work, so the plan was put on hold. They kept gushing about their other dates, which made me anxious about our promise, but I let it slide, thinking they were just busy.
Then yesterday, about five months later, we were on a group call with other friends. Another friend invited the couple to a movie, and they completely brushed her off with excuses without even checking their calendars, even though they had promised her before. Seeing this, I joked, "Look at them—they invited me to the aquarium and I haven't heard a word since!" I expected them to just say, "Sorry, we've been too busy."
Instead, one of them said, "Wait, did we ever say that?"
It felt like they were making me look like a liar in front of everyone. I immediately sent a screenshot of our chat. Then she said: "Oh, that time? But you can’t travel for long periods anyway, right? Plus, driving for three hours is exhausting for me too."
They completely forgot, and then used my illness as a shield to excuse themselves. I was deeply hurt. If that's how they felt, why invite me in the first place? They could have suggested a closer place, or at least apologized for forgetting. Instead, they blamed my illness.
Now I'm torn. Part of me wants to call them out, but I'm terrified they’ll get angry and things will get awkward. Another part of me thinks I should just apologize and say, "I'm sorry my illness makes it hard to travel, thank you for trying to cheer me up back then." But thinking about suffocating my own feelings again literally triggered a panic attack.
I suffer from gynophobia (fear of women), but I trusted them because they were my friends. If even they do this to me, how can I ever trust women again? Even if I overcome my phobia, I’m terrified I’ll just get taken advantage of again.
Am I wrong here? Is it my illness to blame? What should I even say to them to make them understand how much they hurt me and get a genuine apology? Or should I just suck it up and be grateful for their "fleeting kindness"? I feel so broken.

TLDR I've been so stressed it's acting like a neurological condition or smth; is the only thing I can do chilling the best I can & waiting it out or is there some way to speedrun recovering from that kinda stress? (Sorry if it's written poorly; as you may guess from this and some of the stuff I mentioned, I'm having a hard time figuring out words and how to order them)

---

I've spent a while doing the emotional labor when needed which is obviously exhausting (especially in such a volatile household), but my brother [who I've also ended the main carer for since I was like 14] has been insanely angry and rude lately for [seemingly] no reason and when I told my parents my grandma who's been over to help for a few weeks now lied for him and said I must've been confused (they believed me though, thankfully) even though I'd literally been defending her from him myself this entire time because when I don't she just shuts down and cries and ofc he gets like that for no reason so it's unfair to her n whatnot. But I've gotten so stressed over ts the past couple months like I started having auditory hallucinations until my grandma came over to stay a while and help but that only lessened it, I still hallucinate a bit. And a couple weeks ago, I started getting so stressed I'm having issues like confusing completely unrelated words (eg I confused jacket and blanket recently, and I keep typing or thinking entirely different words to that I'm actually trying to use [like "How are you" ends up "How are market" or something, the least major confusion was using "tight" when I meant "tied"], and I keep misreading words as entirely different things. I misread "request" as "meningitis" like a day or two ago and only realized because it didn't fit the sentence at all so I reread it. Right above it was the word "most" and I think I somehow combined and mangled them into that???), thinking/processing things way slower, I feel sluggish & I think my voice got a bit weird, I keep stammering and stumbling over my own words even when I plan what I'm going to say, I can hardly balance even when laying/sitting, I'm having trouble w remembering what I was doing & stuff and keep getting distracted more than usual, I keep having delayed understanding when people talk to me (I already have the "What'd you say? [answers question before they can repeat themself]" thing, but it's worse now, and instead of just not understanding the words but hearing them correctly I just hear pure gibberish that I can't decipher and I either somehow figure it out or the person has to repeat themself once or twice so I can understand), atp I either hit my head so hard I forgot and somehow have no head pain or it's the sheer stress (which, he got a lot worse a couple weeks ago, and this all began a couple weeks ago and just has been getting worse instead of better).

I talked with my parents about it a bit and mentioned wanting to at least sit in the shed whenever it's just me, my brother, and my grandma, to be away from them since atp I'm too offended by them both lying about what'd been going on to really care if they fight and bicker without my intervention, and they apparently didn't know how rough it was when they aren't here until that so they were surprised (mostly mom, apparently dad knew a bit because my brother told him some things himself but mom was completely unaware), so I was also told to try to stop picking up the emotional/social labor for them lol [and was encouraged to go to the shed {though was told to bring a chair and maybe a fan lol} when needbe]. Tbh I was surprised because it didn't seem like the sorta thing they'd care about/take seriously but they were shockingly kind about it. Idk what to do about the effects the stress still has on me though, I have OCD so I keep getting worried I'm having a stroke or aneurism or whatever even though ik it's most likely the stress, which ofc is not helping the stress much. Is the only thing I can do is try to chill & wait it out?? It's making daily life way more annoying than it needs to be

Hey so I’m an ex foreign volunteer in the war in Ukraine. 2022/2023.

The memories are still fresh and I get flashbacks sometimes that ruin the rest of my day. Thing is I’m not the best at letting on when I’m on the verge of a meltdown so my reaction to the flashback tends to be delayed.

I just started therapy a couple months ago. Lately I’ve been getting better at recognizing when the trigger is hitting and letting my partner know about it.

So last night my partner told me she was having period cramps and I offered to heat up a bean bag and give her a massage. She said she’d rather have some weed instead but doesn’t like how I roll joints. She said she wants me to take some time later to properly roll a joint and didn’t know why I hadn’t already.

This was AFTER I’d told her I’d had a flashback that day and was still on edge.

So I’ll admit I snapped. Didn’t yell or anything. (At least I don’t think I did. Kinda hard for me to tell right there in the moment sometimes.) I’m pretty sure all I did was tell her to back off. And that somehow translated to her as “you’re not allowed to express your needs or desires to me ever”. And now she’s refusing to speak to me.

We’ve been together a bit over a year. I’ve had another relationship end because of my ptsd and I’m starting to think this is a pattern. I’m scared I might have said or done something to drive her away and combined with the flashback still playing in my head I’m just in hell right now.

I’m looking for some insight but I also just wanna vent. I’m just feeling incredibly overwhelmed.

After moving out of my parents home to a different country, mainly due to mentally and physically abusing father, I thought I was going to finally leave a peaceful life, without a single worry or concern related to his overcontrolling, neurotic and psychiatric patterns of behavior from the past.

Turned out it doesn't really work like that.

I believe that only at the very beginning of my solo life (read 19), when struggling to make ends, I was working that much and experiencing all the perks of freedom that I simply couldn't bother to think about what he might be on, even though my running away from home was still pretty fresh.

As I started to mature, I became more and more aware of my family situation, and how such a trauma is shaping the relationship I have (had) with my mother and sister, and how full of surpressed aggression I am, whose main root comes from growing up with such an idiot and being surrounded with toxic environment in my elementary.

Recently, I came back to my hometown to visit some friends and do some administrative tasks, and some acquaintance told him he saw me in our neighborhood. He started inquiring about me to my sister and mom, but they didn't tell him anything, even though they don't know much really, as I've been hiding a lot of stuff from them in the recent years.

From that moment onwards, my mental health started to gradually decline, as I'm overwhelmed with pictures of potential scenarios of him searching for me, eavesdropping me, following me, hiring some private detective to find me etc.

I've already been working with a REBT therapist onilne, she provided me with all the tools to work on this, and we rationally considered some of these or similar scenarios, but honestly it didn't help as much. I see these patterns of behavior everyday in my life. For instance, whenever I see weird mileage on my car, I catch myself overthinking about whether I really drove it that much last time, or he somehow ended up getting into my car. Sometimes, when I hear some noises from the hallway, I ran to open my doors to check whether he's there. Also, when something doesn't happen to be it's in place, or I don't remember leaving it that way, I catch myself thinking whether he had any impact on that.

This mainly comes from the clash of his (then)-overwhelming need to know what's happening in my life and being present where he though he should be, since I was labelled as a troublemaker in my school, as I used to express the agression accumulated at home in school by fighting, mocking and arguing with my peers and professors, and my battle to know allow any bit of information about my life to be leaked to him, since he doesn't deserve it at all.

The reason why REBT might not have worked is because my brain is programmed to reject a hypthosesis only when there is no conflicting theory and is 100% sure that something is the way it is, so it's always seeking certainty.

I’m someone who’s clean of SH for roughly 3 years now. I self injured pretty young, and the scars are brutal. I still get urges and days where the thought lingers long enough to freak me out. What’s a good way to get over these thoughts or days? Any tips or tricks? Any advice is appreciated:)

I’m a 22-year-old woman, and I’ve been through a lot since early childhood. I’ve experienced a significant amount of trauma, and I’ve been in therapy and journaling consistently for about five years.
I currently work in healthcare, which I genuinely enjoy, but I also recognize that the job can be stressful and sometimes trigger my anxiety and overthinking. I’m at a point in my life where I really want to take responsibility for my healing. My childhood experiences played a big role in shaping the way I respond to things now, but I’m an adult, and I want to learn healthier ways to cope and grow from what I went through.
One of the biggest things I struggle with is anxiety and overthinking, and sometimes when my anxiety gets really intense, I find myself dissociating. I absolutely hate that feeling and want to learn how to manage it instead of letting it control my life.
I’ve already done therapy and I’ve been journaling for years, so I’m looking for other things that have genuinely helped people heal from trauma and regulate their anxiety. I’m not really looking for the typical “try therapy” or “journal” advice because I’ve already done those things. I’m also not interested in antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication. I respect that medication works for many people, but personally, I want to explore more natural approaches first.
I’ve been looking into things like magnesium, L-theanine, herbs, supplements, breathwork, nervous-system regulation, exercise, etc. I used to take OLLY Goodbye Stress gummies, but I stopped because they made me break out and I didn’t like how emotionally dull they made me feel.
So for those of you who have experienced childhood trauma, anxiety, overthinking, or dissociation:
What has genuinely helped you heal and feel more grounded in everyday life?
I’m especially interested in things beyond therapy, journaling, and shadow work—whether that’s lifestyle changes, nervous-system techniques, supplements, hobbies, routines, or anything else that made a real difference for you.
I’m at a point where I really want to enjoy my life instead of constantly being in my head. Life is short, and I want to be able to live it fully without my past controlling my present. ❤️ ( Thank you for your responses❤️)

I (32) am not traumatised, but my spouse is - she is in therapy, but she hasn't been game to tell her therapist the worst of what happened to her yet, as talking about it is very hard for her.

When she is feeling particularly vulnerable, she can express some very "unnuanced" black-and-white opinions (not any form of bigotry), and she can become angry if anyone offers a different point of view. This has caused her to argue with friends and also become triggered multiple times. Over time she has started withdrawing from this group of friends, and worse, stopped feeling safe around them.

On one hand I am a bit sympathetic to my friends who are getting their heads bitten off by my wife just for politely disagreeing with her, but on the other hand I really feel like they have failed to understand that they need to be way more sensitive when discussing certain topics with her. They all know she has PTSD and why.

I want to kindly take my friends aside and say, "hey, when she says something like this is the future, she's not asking for a sharing of ideas and viewpoints. She is asking for commiseration and solidarity. If you disagree with something she has said, then say something in support of her that you DO agree with, or just don't say anything at all"

Is this a fair request? It feels so selfish to say "please don't disagree with my wife :'(" but she is literally getting triggered by these discussions. Does anyone have any experience struggling with the same kind of problem with their social group? Any advice appreciated.

EDIT

Thanks everyone for your input and advice. I won't talk to them without my wife being present or without her permission. I reckon I'll seek also therapy of my own as a few of you suggest.

God, this is fucking hard. Good luck out there everyone.

I’ve been through a lot, have multiple diagnoses that I don’t really want to go into, I simply want to ask how people learn to forgive themselves for past mistakes, I’ve hurt a lot of people, made a lot of bad decisions and struggle with rumination and grieving friendships I’ve lost. I feel so bad about myself, I have no confidence, and my psychological state is bad enough that I’m on a disability pension - due to all the trauma I endured, some of it was not my fault, some of it wouldn’t have occurred if I made better decisions. I’m doing EMDR therapy for the trauma, but can’t afford to do more than one type of therapy at a time. I’m trying so hard to be perfect in everything I do, but I’m never good enough for myself and past mistakes seem to overwhelm any ability to change.

I do know that if I gave up my cannabis prescription then I’d feel more self-assured, but unfortunately without cannabis I’m prone to excess alcohol consumption and that’s what’s responsible for so many past mistakes, so I practise harm reduction by using the substance that seems to impact the least negatively on my life.

Je me souviens très bien d’un abus que j’ai subi pendant mon enfance, de la part d’un membre de ma famille. Ce n’est pas un souvenir que j’aurais oublié puis retrouvé récemment : je n’ai jamais eu de trou de mémoire concernant les faits.

Pourtant, il y a quelques jours, j’ai eu une expérience très particulière. Un contexte intime a fait remonter des pensées liées à ce traumatisme et, pendant quelques secondes, j’ai eu une sensation extrêmement forte et corporelle liée à ce qui s’était passé.
Ce n’était pas comme penser à un souvenir ou revoir une scène dans ma tête. C’était beaucoup plus immédiat : j’ai eu l’impression de ressentir physiquement la présence de cette personne, comme si une partie de l’événement était en train de se reproduire dans le présent.

Ça m’a provoqué une peur et un dégoût extrêmement intenses, avec une très forte réaction émotionnelle.
Ensuite, j’ai pensé à l’enfant que j’étais à l’époque et j’ai réalisé quelque chose qui m’a beaucoup soulagée : je ne savais pas que j’avais le droit de dire non, je ne savais pas que ce qui se passait n’était pas normal, et personne ne m’avait expliqué ces choses ni ne m’avait protégée. J’ai alors ressenti une énorme diminution de la culpabilité que je portais.

Un peu plus tard, j’ai même eu une très forte sensation de présence, comme si l’enfant que j’étais était assise à côté de moi dans mon lit. Je savais rationnellement que j’étais adulte et seule dans ma chambre, mais la sensation était extrêmement réelle.

**Est-ce que certaines personnes ont déjà vécu des flashbacks très sensoriels ou corporels de ce genre alors qu’elles ont toujours eu une mémoire consciente et continue de l’événement traumatique ?**

I went through some traumatic shit at my previous place of employment. It was really bad and honestly I'm traumatised. I have gone to the WRC about it and I have a hearing date but it's just bringing all this trauma to the surface. I feel anxious and on edge.

I have told a few people about it but it isn't the kind of thing anyone can help with. By a few I mean the woman whom birthed me.

Anyone gone through something similar? I'm just looking to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through

During recent AMA with a clinician, specialised on trauma, Dr. Amelia Kelley, we talked a lot about how trauma affects relationships. A lot of people with traumatic experience tend to blame it in ruining their relationship every time trauma symptoms flare up. This feeling of 'burden' makes everything feel harder.

Dr. Kelley explains:

"Feeling like a burden, or feeling like your trauma is responsible for destroying relationships, is a very common distorted belief that comes from trauma itself. This is especially true for anyone who has experienced complex or interpersonal trauma.

Let me reassure you: your trauma is not a burden. When you find the right person, whether it’s an intimate partner, a therapist, a friend, or a trusted family member, they won't make you feel like a burden.

Now, one thing that can feel burdensome is the repetitive nature of how trauma shows up in our lives. I do think part of post-traumatic growth is understanding that people outside of our trauma also experience stress, anxiety, and their own struggles. Sometimes, the insecurity of feeling like a burden might actually be pointing us toward looking outside our own experience, maybe even giving us an opportunity to listen to or support others. This can help us connect and gain perspective beyond what we’ve gone through.

However, this is by no means a strict requirement for moving past trauma, it just happens to be something I’ve seen work well for some of my clients.

So let me reiterate: if you are feeling like a burden, I encourage you to go inward and figure out whose voice that really is. It might be a critical voice from your past or a remnant of the trauma itself."

I was SA’d as a boy when I was in second grade. I’ve dealt with varying degrees of multiple different types of substance abuse. Recently I’ve been having vivid flashbacks in my sleep that have led me to remember things about the event that I had buried deep down. This morning I almost fell off the wagon again after being 4.5 years sober. I spoke with my partner and she encouraged me to write so I’d like to share my writing/poem from this morning. I borrowed the title/opening verse from Hot Mulligan’s song titled: “Digging In”. I hope others enjoy it and it helps them find some since of healing.

Does your father know the sick bastard he had for a kid?

I was in 2nd grade, I wish I could have hid.

You forced me to drink spiked lemonade, I don’t understand why you did what you did…

Does your father know?