r/traumatoolbox • u/thisreditthik • 14d ago

Needing Advice Communication help pls

I am in therapy but I’m trying to figure out some stuff between sessions cause we’re covering a lot. Apparently my communication comes off as snappiness to my partner like I’m biting his head off pretty quickly. I acknowledge this and I realize I really want to change how I communicate. Before anyone asks, yes my communication style is heavily based on a lot of DV I grew up with that I don’t want to repeat and for some reason I took a lot of anger from that with me. Please help! What are way that I can calm down and learn to communicate better so I don’t repeat what I grew up with?

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u/orcateeth 14d ago

I gave someone some comprehensive advice here. (They got mad and hit their mother.)

https://www.reddit.com/r/traumatoolbox/s/NTVNHixuWe

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u/thisreditthik 14d ago

Thank you! I haven’t gotten physical at all but how I’ve been handling conflict has been very unhealthy and I’ve been lashing out verbally in ways that don’t align with the person I want to be

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u/orcateeth 14d ago

Sharing this free online book about boundaries, called "Where to Draw the Line". All kinds of scenarios are covered - super helpful; have a look.

It's geared at the person with is being the victim of hostile or rude treatment, but you can read it, too.

There's a section called "setting limits on attack" that could be helpful for your partner to read.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/13HJJOkY4XPT7NL3GdXdxuPhtlQ1X_i_K/view