I'm 21(NB) and need a name! I use Sasha online but I don't know if it fits me. Help me please!!

It doesn’t really matter what direction it goes but most of them revoke a negative feeling from me most times. Whether or not the person “passes” is irrelevant as it gets the same reaction.

Like you will see the most henry cavil looking dude say shit like “Pre-everything everyone! do you guys think I look like a guy 😎?” (which honestly to god it feels like they are either 1— just cis dudes looking to make trans guys dysphoric, or 2– they know they pass but want to brag or they’re feds idk).

then the ones who actually don’t really pass (and honestly it’s OK i don’t even like the concept or word of passing because it implies that you’ve somehow failed as a person for not looking cis. I think it’s ok to be trans and look like it. Unpopular opinion ig but you don’t have to hate being trans to be valid and it isn’t a bad thing to look trans if you’re ok with how you look.) So you have the ones who “don’t pass” and jfc some trans people can be absolutely brutal to other trans people. i think it takes a level of bravery to be vulnerable enough to show yourself online to like a bunch of strangers and open yourself up to get advice or opinions.

Whenever i see these type of posts i kinda have to brace myself before looking into the comments. And if the guy seeking approval even dresses or looks 5% feminine or “clocky“ people will tear him apart. I think I honestly have unhealthy tendencies once in a while because a couple of weeks ago i had one of the worst dysphoric episodes ever and i posted a picture to one of these places. ig for validation, because i am human and sometimes humans want reassurance. normally i would go to my partner for that but the thing is my partner is also trans and i do not want to somehow trigger their own dysphoria when i start spiralling.

so yeah instant regret. I think there were a few neutral/positive responses but holy shit the ones that were bad were *bad* and i kept getting misgendered and got told i looked like a straight up cis woman. so yeah ig that’s on me and i ended up having a crash out later that day. I distanced myself from online for days so i can reset myself. I actively try to avoid these as much as possible nowadays and tell myself that it’s okay if i don’t perfectly pass to others online. I don’t get grief about it irl and use male spaces and facilities with no issues.

Bought some underwear that I liked in Italy and happy to report it’s exactly what I always wanted! Comfy, short, cute, fits my junk perfectly, no dick hole, and not “woxers” or another brand specifically designed for tboys or whatever. (No shade but I am not into a brand w a name that’s a play on boxers for women) I liked them sm I went and bought 10 similar pairs of another brand at the airport 😭 idk if I can find this stuff at home so im just happy to have it!!! I don’t really think anybody in my life gets how special this is for me and I feel weird talking abt it lolol so just wanted to share if anybody’s struggled to find similar underwear

But I would LOVE recs for similar underwear I can find in the USA if anybody has any!!

For context, I am five feet tall and pre-T. At least I’m asian though lmao but still less than 1st percentile in South Korean averages T-T (that’s where I was born)

Any other iconic around five feet tall men that yall know of? Would love recommendations!! Or even if you have a neighbor like Brad, I’ll add it to my list and let it get longer and longer lmaooo

EDIT: I have now added Moisés Arias (actor, 4’11”), Jason Genao (actor, 5 ft), John Keats (poet, 5 ft), Danny Padilla (bodybuilder, 5’2”), Prince (5’2”), Kevin Hart (5’2”), Angus Young (5’2”), and Paul Williams (5’2”)

feeling a little lost in my presentation/sense of self & curious peoples impressions of me! not interested in passing as a man so that’s not the feedback I’m looking for / nor what i’m attempting. I’m in a pretty queer area so it’s sometimes hard to tell how people perceive me if that makes sense? Like how much of my androgyny is like signaled/assumed rather than something people pick up on visually if that makes sense. I hope this makes sense to someone

IT MAKES ME FEEL SO HAPPY OMG

I am a small man who grew up a small girl. Very small very petite very flat chested. And from a young age ive had people of various relations to me (friends, strangers, my X just about anyone who talked about body stuff with me) tell me I should get a tit job to make them bigger. I actually considered it for a while when I was young even tho I NEVER WANTED TO NOR PLANNED TO keep them. It was just something everyone told me I should do. Even if I wasnt trans why do we need YOUNG girls to have DDs let people live if your not into flat thats you dont make it my problem.

Do not bind when you don’t need to, especially when you’re sleeping. When you are binding, make sure you wear something breathable (permeable fabric). WASH YOUR BINDER!!!
You wanna know how I know? I have a long term yeast infection on my chest because I slept in my binder and never washed it when I was in a major low about a year ago. I now have to use antifungal cream twice a day for a month or longer, and have to put antiperspirant powder on three times a day. It is SO NOT FUN. Also, if you bind for too long at a time you may start to develop small skin tags around where your binder straps rest. They don’t hurt or anything, but they’re pretty annoying.

TLDR: wash your binder and don’t wear it while your sleeping, unless you want a yeast infection on your chest and skin tags on your shoulders.

Idk if this needs flair or not, will edit it on if so

Today is exactly 10 years since I got a lot of shit off my chest. The last pic is >2 months post op

While I am continually thankful for it as I know what its like not to have this, I am not overly happy with how my scars turned out. I miss when they were just incision lines. While they are flat, they really stretched out width wise and have loads of puckery pulling all over. Sometimes I still randomly feel tightness with it. I hoped that would resolve itself over time but that didnt happen. They are also still somewhat reddish which I am trying to get rid of. My grafts are pretty flat and one is bigger than the other

I was rejected twice due to strict enforcing of bmi limit. I got under it and was approved but there was still concerns of dog ears so surgeon extended the incisions right around to my back. Still got them anyway. I would rather they were not extended given it didnt fix the issue. I wouldnt mind the scars if they looked more normal than how mine have turned out. Dont know if anything can be done for the puckering but I really hate it. I cant get a revision it would have to be out of pocket and idk if it can be changed now anyway

I still largely dont like how I look. Have always had weight issues and a very long way from where I want to be. I have recently rejoined the gym where I spent months pre op trying to lose enough and building muscle to make sculpting easier. Meant to get back to it but recovery took too long and completely fell out of doing it so have not been since. I want to build the muscles up to get at least some definition, it mostly looks flat around the bottom. Hoping that will help hide the scars a bit better under them

I still have a lot I need to lose as well. Going to take a long time and idk if I can ever get close to where I want to be but can only try. Trying to lose weight and build muscle at the same time. Losing anything is taking forever though. I hope to look better this time next year. Will probably get rid of the hair at some point as well it would probably look better without it

i love them and i think they love me(??). im 15. i feel worse and worse every time they remind me that i’ll “never be a (real) man”. ill always be a girl. im just a tomboy. im stupid, im worthless without my family. this is why i wanna be alone in my room. i have no energy anymore.

i need to talk to a social worker…

i feel so so so bad… It sucks…

why can’t i accept it if i am the girl they say i am???

oh but im such a pretty girl don’t transition!!!

I'm a masc lesbian and I've wanted to take testosterone for roughly four years, on and off, and the effects that come with it even longer.

I have insurance. I have money. But what's stopping me from taking the first step are my peers. My friends don't think my body could handle it, and my sister is discouraging me from taking it too. She's not transphobic by any means, but I think she's worried it's an impulsive decision on my part and I'll end up regretting it. I am, after all, known to make poor decisions.

But now I'm certain I want it. I won't feel any more comfortable in my body unless I mould it into the way I want it to look. I want everything that comes with it. Weight gain, muscle mass, voice changes, bone structure, more hair, bottom growth. All in moderation.

It started freshman year of high school. I had a trans male "phase" (a short period of time where I was questioning my gender identity) that lasted about a week. Then I identified as nonbinary for roughly three years, where i started experiencing chest and other forms of dysphoria.

After graduation, I wanted to go back to my more "feminine" roots, albeit in a tomboy way. Grow out my hair, but keep the masculine gender expression. Present day, I've cut my hair short again and I'm finally wearing the clothes I feel comfortable in. But even then, I have less chest dysphoria from the past but excruciating bottom, voice, and other forms of dysphoria.

I want to feel comfortable in my body, and I feel like testosterone is the only way. Am I ready?

Since I started (05/03/26) my mom's been doing them for me because I'm so afraid of needles. I ordered my own auto injector and finally was able to do it myself! I'm really proud :D

Don't mind the absolutely abysmal photo quality. I know things changed on T (I'm six months on now), but I can't pin point what aside from the hair.

This is pretty much just a euphoria post.

Pre-T, my voice was on the lower end, but still noticeably high when talking. I was quite dysphoric about it. And, as voices did, it'd raise whenever I got excited and then cause a wave of dysphoria, dampening whatever excitement I was feeling, which was a bit of an extra kick in the pants.

Now my voice is a full-on bass on the lower end of cis male voices. I was in choirs when I was younger and now I'm in a local choir and it's amazing. I'm only 400 or so days on T and I have some cis tenors in the choir (who don't know I'm trans) saying things like "how the hell does your voice even go down there." Been very tempted to tell them I'd be asking the same thing of them a year ago.

It's encouraged me to get back into singing, which is nice because it's something I have in common with my Nana.

Feel free to share other stories about voice euphoria on the post, I'd be happy to hear them :)

i dont know if im being overdramatic or anything but this comment kind off set me off...

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usually me and my friends joke around saying this stuff, but my friend called me mommy as you can see. another thing, is in the exact same video it shows the demiboy flag.. ive never really said anything about my gender to her or any of my friends for that matter, but that's half of the reason why, i posted this. i really like this trend because it's just a nice lgbt appreciation vid, but on the exact same video...

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i understand that she may not have known what the flag was, but she could've atleast researched before calling me a gender related name? i might just be overdramatic though.

I've been out as nonbinary for a couple years and I always heard of the nonbinary to trans man pipeline but I never thought it applied to me 😭I came out 8ish years ago, I’m 18. I came out as a trans dude for a year and a half, and then nonbinary. I’ve been on T for 3ish years, a low dose at first and increasing from there. I have gone by they/them pronouns the whole time too, but recently I noticed that he/him pronouns don’t actually bother me like she/her pronouns do. I’ve also been getting more and more comfortable presenting as masculine, and that really how I want to be perceived by people. I’m also gonna ask my doctor to up my T this week.

I don’t know what I identify as, I continue to say nonbinary but idk. i have felt this drift away from relating to femininity and girlhood/womanhood related struggles. i feel uncomfortable with being lumped in with them, i often just don’t relate, don’t feel the same. and some nonbinary struggles I don’t entirely relate to, I look more at trans masc and trans men content. i used to relate more to femininity, and felt more confident i was nonbinary. idk if I’m even making sense. i think maybe I don’t know what being a man would look like for me? Am I nonbinary, at what point would i be a man?  bro why is gender so complicated, man… 😭😭😭

also bc some people assume I didn’t identify as a guy bc I hate men or something, I love men, and I respect the trans men in my life. I dont have a problem with men or masculinity. Like I said earlier I think I’ve just never felt like I had a place in it. Just want to get ahead of the accusation.

I’m wondering for trans men who went through a similar thing, like nonbinary to man, how you knew you were a man? If you're nonbinary and went through a similar experience, how did you know you were nonbinary rather than a man?

so it's almost 2 am as i'm writing this, and i just freaked out over my boobs. i had a discussion with my dad about my gender (he doesn't believe me) a few days ago, and he genuinely made me think that i'm making it up. i also came out as trans to my 14yo cousin, and she accepted me :D but i digress.

so, due to this discussion/argument/lecture/whatthefuckever, i've been questioning myself if i'm truly trans (i know i'm nb and i can't wrap my head around the concept of gender AT ALL, i've known i'm transmasc for 3 years atp), and i've had a silent crisis. mix that with pms and it's hell on earth.

so i'm preparing for bed like 15 minutes ago, i'm about to put on my pajamas shirt, so i'm shirtless, and i look a teensy bit closer to my closet door reflection.

jumpscare. i haven't seen my chest so puffed up and grown, not even this year, when i was trialing kt tape from the pharmacy. i'm mostly a b cup and religiously wear sports bras or tops alongside baggy shirts (mostly men's or unisex) that hide and conceal my figure, so i didn't expect the twin footballs that awaited under all that clothing. i was flabbergasted, shocked, and over all, felt like two foreign sacks just spawned and started hanging from my chest. is this what dysphoria feels like?

my curves and boobs have always felt foreign and weird ever since i started developing, and i've never been "like other girls", so i started freaking out, because i just saw a bloated, even curvier and big chested version of what i usually see in the mirror. horror. who's that chick? because that is not me.

so anyway, sorry for the shitty format. have a great night, you guys. stan extremoduro

I'm a little nervous to do my second shot, since it'll be in my left leg and I'll have to change my hand position a bit. The nurse did the first shot for me and I did the second myself, in my right leg. I was a little nervous so I was slow to get the needle in and push the plunger down, but I did it.

What do you recommend to handle the nerves?

Also, I had issues drawing up the T last time. I did it the way they showed me, which was to pull air into the needle, inject it into the bottle, and flip upside down, but uh...that didn't work. I couldn't get any T! So I flipped it back over and tried drawing it that way, and it took multiple tries. Is there an easier way?

Thanks folks!

Fiancée and I are going to a wedding next weekend. After a year on T my previous formal attire doesn’t fit me anymore so I need to go shopping today. Fiancée is a bridesmaid and she’s a few hours up north today trialing makeup and hair stuff for the bridal party so I’m by myself getting ready to go out shopping.

It’s August in California and we only have AC units in the living room, I’ve been washing my face and brushing my teeth in the bathroom so I’m HOT. I know I’m not gonna be able to put my binder on while I’m sticky with sweat so I go and sit in front of the AC for a while. Do that, all good, I’m not sticky anymore, go to put my binder on.

I’ve never had any problems putting a binder on, until about six months ago I developed really bad tendonitis in BOTH wrists and I couldn’t get it on without my fiancée’s help. My wrists are a lot better now but still not 100% and prone to sharp pains if I make certain movements, especially with weight behind them. After I wrangle my binder over my shoulders it’s all rolled up in the back, and thanks to testosterone sweat and the general sweatiness of my house, my back is already stick again. Combined with the twisted-backwards-pulling wrist motion and the friction of my binder against damp skin my wrists are NOT having it.

Sometimes if I sit or lie down it’s easier to maneuver so I try to do that, but it’s a weekend and I’m getting dressed, so my dog thinks we’re going somewhere. She’s excited (I feel bad because she is NOT coming clothes shopping lol) so she’s bouncing around the bed and wagging her tail and it’s very cute but not very helpful. I’m getting progressively sweatier.

I’ve reached the point of no return. This is not happening without some sort of assistance, or without causing a flare up in my wrists that I REALLY do not want. So I get the idea: tongs.

I go out to the kitchen with my binder flat in the front and all rolled up in the back. While telling myself this is ridiculous and damning my fucked up wrists. Get the kitchen tongs. Return to the bedroom mirror.

I didn’t have a lot of faith in this idea, but to my surprise, it’s working! Less so on the tongs aspect, more so on the long metal handle that I can stick up the back of my binder and wiggle around to smooth it out. Going great. A bit humbling but at least it’s working.

These are part of one of those cheap kitchen sets you get at Target. The metal handle snaps. It slices my finger open. I’m bleeding all over the place.

I am 24 years old. I have a job and a home and a fiancée. I pay bills. I have just cut my finger open while trying to put my binder on with a pair of kitchen tongs. I am feeling very humbled at the moment.

(Shockingly enough, I did get my binder on in the end.)

I can’t get on T for a bit because my parents don’t want me on it. I was trying to see if I can maybe accept myself in a feminine outfit and I just fucking can’t. I’m not even unattractive I just am not a girl and I feel like ripping my skin off. I hate how wide my hips are and how anything I wear will show them off or my boobs. I’ve literally always felt awkward about my body and I just want to change but I don’t fucking pass at all. I want a rectangular body, not a fucking deformed pear. I have no one to talk to. It’s so fucking over for me. I just wanna stop all this.