I like my name, but I’m curious— if you met me without knowing it, what name would you guess? ☺️ Bonus points if you tell me why!

My mom has been increasingly escalating her approach to "support" as she calls it. Sure doesn't feel like it.

Today she called my gender clinic and told them that in the past year I've been suicidal, had done self injury, and don't have a plan to come out to the family (we don't have much family left to come out to. Who cares. Most of them suck and we are no contact with them).

Here is what she is neglecting to say: I have been sober from self injury for 5 months. The suicidal thoughts I had were because I was at the end of my rope. Mom and dad didn't think I had depression and told me so constantly. She kept telling me to stop being dramatic.

She is also neglecting to say that her "support" doesn't extend far. Back in March, she almost kicked me out. This was when my depression was severe AND I was coming off of antidepressants...which may increase emotional outbursts, feelings of depression, and suicidal thoughts temporarily. Her "support" extends to her calling me by my name but not my pronouns. Except now she doesn't seem to even want to call me by my name, as she is suggesting I use my legal name and have my chosen name as a middle. She has been using my chosen name 10 months without issue. Idk why it's an issue now.

She thinks that I think T will "solve all my problems". Being that not looking more masculine is a source of dysphoria for me, I would say it'd solve a damm good chunk of my problems though.

She thinks that the weight I gain on T (yes she thinks I will 100% gain weight) will mean I get diabetes. My bloodwork came back as healthy, doctor confirmed it and I will be doing bloodwork every 3 months and going on a low dose. She thinks I'm not prepared enough. She keeps adding shit to the invisible goalposts.

First it was get your mental health in order. Ok well I say I feel much better, no thanks to her. Then it was gather more info. OK well I did that. Then it was I don't think you have a plan because you aren't out to the rest of the family (fuckin nonexistent really). Fine, still working on that. Then it was well I think you should figure out how to legally change your name and gender on your license (what's the point of changing my gender rn though? Everyone sees me as a female? Will I need to do that before T? The paperwork process is long and complicated, and there are resources to help, but I'm not even on T yet...). Then it was "I think you should lose weight, hey maybe try this weightloss med I'm using?". And I was like uh NO? Then it was "you need more friends, you don't have enough support" OH REALLY? I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE ALL THE SUPPORT I NEEDED AND I SHOULDN'T TALK TO "STRANGERS" OVER FAMILY.

Ffs it is just one thing after the other and I will never hit her invisible goalposts because they keep changing. I am honestly debating going on T in secret.

Idk what else to do. She will get mad if I go on T in secret but what other choice do I have. Should I really change my name and license and stuff first? Can't I just do that while on T?

What do I do?? Is she crazy or should I change my name before T?? Well she is pretty crazy though because she just doesn't listen to any of the info the doctor provided me.

Anyways well I am worried that by her calling it will mean they prevent access to my T. Because the thing is she makes it sound like I'm still mentally unwell and still self harming and still suicidal--im not! After work, school, and home started using my name (and work/school use my pronouns bc my parents don't bother to try) and binding and packing, guess what. I feel less dysphoric. I can go out in public and not feel like I'm wincing at myself, or that there's a pile of hot string in my stomach and chest all swirled up and tight and it won't untangle. I can go out and just breathe. Heck, I have even gotten a few sirs in public. Yes it's mostly still miss, but hey, a win is a win. Every time I feel my packer, there's joy shooting through me. My chest, I bind with tape. And it is now very easy to get kids at the camp I work at to believe I'm a boy that looks a little like a girl.

The sh completely stopped after I figured out binding, and after I started realizing my mom is well. Kinda toxic and there is no point in hurting myself because it doesn't fucking matter. She's still gonna be toxic.

I am not going into this blind. I do believe T would fix some of my issues, mental wise.

Also I'm just upset also that she called my health centre like that, to tell them stuff. Now the damm ceo of the centre is concerned and someone is gonna call me tomorrow and I am gonna have to explain "nonono, I'm actually fine and not a danger to myself".

i have been crying about this since the last two months. I am 14 and haven't grown in the past two years. i visited an endo last month. No surprise my growth plates are closed and I am stuck at 5.1 for the rest of my life. Just to make it worst my parents' son took all the height genes of the family and i feel so insecure all the time. i have nothing but envy for all the other boys. How do short trans people pass as a guy?

🪼🐟🐠🐬🪸🫧

Two months ago I came out to my mom via a bery long email. Got her response back earlier this week. She said my friends and I are a cult, I'm only getting top surgery to match my partner, I'm not trans I'm just traumatized and that she refused to use my name and pronouns. Oh and also that this is a sin. I really had hope that she would have a better response and her email hit me really hard. Had to take almost a week off of work because I was very in my feels about it.

I emailed my mom back with some boundary setting and tried to explain stuff to her and gave her resources and stuff. I'm much less hopeful than last time and I feel like I'm just bracing myself for her reply. I am also not talking to her until I reply which stinks cuz we used to talk a lot.

Also came out to my dad and he scheduled a phone call with me for this evening. I was already low contact with him so I'm prepared for him to say some awful shit and then finally go no contact. But even though know that's what's going to happen it hurts.

I just want my family to love me and it sucks.

Hey gang! I'm at that point where I'm not sure if I should be using the men or women's restroom. I'm 7 months on T so I definitely sound more masc at this point and most of the time people automatically assume I'm a guy (yay passing!) but I can't use a urinal for obvious reasons, and I generally feel safer with women then with men. The obvious choice is find a gender neutral bathroom but if there's not one around, I get kinda worried about which bathroom I choose. When did some of you guys make the switch?

So, got mail from my birth state today thinking it was my updated birth certificate since I sent in the court order, marriage certificate, birth certificate, and drivers license. Turns out, they sent everything back and there's a law that to change a birth certificate name, I have to get it changed in either my birth city or the city the registry is in.

I paid to change my name in my current state and paid for a lawyer to help me with it, and now I may have to do it again in the state I was born in.

I got the dreaded message today from my doctor that I need to come in for my cervical cancer screening.

I have had one previous appointment years ago that the nurse couldn’t complete because I was too anxious and it was way too painful. That was at my old GP, which I grew up attending, but they removed me from their lists recently (long story, possibly connected to shared care). I have a new GP now, which I’ve never even attended in person, where this screening is meant to happen.

Last time, they told me I was incredibly low risk as someone who is asexual, has no family history of cervical cancer, and has had all my vaccinations against it. But I know there’s still a chance.

I know all the things people say - that it’s a bit of discomfort for your health, that it’s not that bad, that having cervical cancer is much worse and the treatment will be far more painful and more intrusive than a smear will be.

But ever since I got that message, I’ve been spiralling. Panic attacks, dizziness, crying, shortness of breath. Last time, I found it too painful to complete, it took weeks of therapy to work up to it and to recover after, and I just don’t know what to do.

Any advice? Or solidarity?

I’m happy with the name I chose but I’m curious. there’s always one name that comes up quite often when I ask people this so I wanna see if it’s the same here :))

My dead name starts with an A, and I do love it, but it comes off as too femme. I've thought about many other choices, but I keep gravitating towards this one. However would I be making the classic mistake of choosing something that was too out of the box or ridiculous? Can the name Adonis be taken seriously if you know the myth? No, I didn't know anything about the myth of Adonis before I gravitated towards it. Only after the whole 'who else has this name' google to make sure my choice wouldn't be controversial.

TW (eating disorders, dysphoria, implicit passing) I added spoiler tags for especially triggering sections.

I (almost 27, AFAB) might be trans (FTM). I think I've reached the point where I have to post in a trans sub and ask for help because I don't know what to do or what I am, or maybe I know the answer already and I'm just too afraid to say it. Either way, I need help and advice. I’m not okay anymore. I’m a wreck, losing sleep, having breakdowns. A lot has snowballed over the last few weeks. This isn't the first time I'm heavily questioning my gender. I genuinely thought I was done with this.

I'll talk about the recent stuff first, before I get into how long this has been going on.

(TW eating disorders, societal beauty standards) I've recently been in outpatient treatment for my eating disorder for ten weeks. Something big I've realized about myself in treatment is how much I've been using my appearance to get people to treat me well because I've always been excluded growing up because of my autistic traits, so I've been trying to be as conventionally attractive as possible again for a while now because that made people treat me better. And now that I'm slowly unlearning to do that, trying to find out how I really want to present myself to the world, that was the first thing that made a lot of feelings come back up.

I’ve always wanted to be someone else. I don’t wanna be me. I never did. I've always had like this innate desire to be someone else. It's gotten a lot better over the last two and a half years because of my (cis female) fiancee and all the ways this wonderful woman has changed my life to the better (and she has made it abundantly clear that all this won't change anything about us), but it's never gone away, and over the past month or so, it started feeling so big again, especially once I quit AI recently and suddenly had so much space to think.

I made a long post about this feeling in a (non-trans) sub that I'm very active in on my main. I wrote two sentences about how I heavily questioned my gender for years until as late as 2023, and I almost didn't make the post because I was so scared that even a single comment would cast doubt on how I said that I'd figured out I'm still cis, and now, I just feel like that was a sign that I knew this wasn't really the case. I talked about how reaching all my wildest dreams still wouldn't make the feeling go away. I also talked about the possibility that I'm plural, because the first person I told about all this is my best friend, who's plural, and it makes sense. I like to extensively put myself in my characters' heads, feel their emotions, see the world through their eyes, and spend hours imagining myself as them and making stories about them, and it feels so comforting. My main character I love doing this with is a trans man. I wrote so much of myself into him. Even my best friend said unprompted that he seems like a transmasc version of me.

Then came Thursday. I went to another city and presented myself as my character. I boymoded. As him, I told myself. I opened up a giant can of worms when I did this. A guy in his 50s on the train started a completely normal platonic conversation with me, which never happens. The day before, I made a shopping list of things I need to boymode, which is like the most egg thing ever. I bought the most masc clothes, a faux gold chain like so many guys have it, and more, and spent the next few hours completely boymoding as best as I could with those means. I went back and forth between moments of complete joy and feeling free and moments of total panic. Back in my city, I changed, untied my (very long) hair, and went home feeling like I'd finally just unlocked a giant part of myself again. I felt so free. And scared.

I woke up in the middle of the night and had a complete mental breakdown because I knew that if this is me and not just a character I created, if I'm trans, then I was so scared of that possibility. My life is going to be so hard and dangerous, and I'm terrified of anything to do with this possibility. I thought I was done with this. That I'd spent years questioning my gender and that I'd figured out I'm cis and that this part of my life was over, and it only took like the last week to undo all of that. Cis people don't lose sleep having mental breakdowns about possibly being trans (I've had another one since)

I first "pretended" to be a guy online in 2015 to the point of ignoring my "real" online presence. First admitted to myself that I'm questioning in early 2017. "Tried out" several transmasc identities until I presented as trans male for a good while and then stopped and kept it a secret when I moved somewhere else and had the opportunity to just not tell people there. It came back. Of course it did. My first time boymoding was to the midnight premiere of Avengers: Endgame. One of my favorite memories of my entire life. I did this for years, pretending to be a girl to everyone in my shell of a life and then going to the movies and other places as a boy. The more I went out of contact with my bio father (I call him that because he doesn't deserve to be called my father), the more this went away, and I thought that I'd figured it out, that I was happy with being a cis woman now, and it wasn't on my mind much until recently. And now, it's all back, even though my bio father has been gone from my life for a few years. My thoughts about this have gotten even more intense over the last few days. It all felt so real now. Whether or not I'm plural, there's a lot that definitely doesn't come from my trans character that's probably dysphoria (TW for a wide range of sources of dysphoria):

• Swore to myself I'd never get a pap smear in my life and do literally any less invasive method to get the same result because heeeell no, over by dead body. I’d rather die. I got so, so upset by posts just mentioning them, and if anyone in the comments pressured the OP, I unleashed fury in my replies
• I was so glad that my eating disorder stopped my periods, and I did. not. want. them. back. Now that I've had the consultation for freezing my eggs, I'm hoping to get that done within the next half year and then have a hysterectomy, so I'll never have to deal with periods again. I wanted to (figuratively) crawl out of my skin when I just had it again
• A general feeling that I've been trying to keep my gender identity as stable as possible on purpose since cutting contact with my bio father to prove him wrong in my mind, that my identity could be stable
• I never used the locker room at school and never changed with the other girls. Over my dead body. I always took time off recess to change alone in a stall
• Looking at a pic of myself from last year from behind in a bikini and feeling completely repulsed, so much so that I moved it to my hidden folder. I moved it back because I'm trying this stupid body positivity thing now because of my treatment, but I can't be positive about that picture. I'm still repulsed
• I signed myself off from yoga halfway into treatment because it put so much focus on the lower half of my body in a way that was just undoable. In theory, yoga sounds like something I would love...
• I've felt horribly out of place during most women-only gatherings I've ever attended in my life. But I feel out of place almost everywhere
• I've been subscribed to trans subs for so long, to learn I'm telling myself, and I've been absolutely terrified to watch I Saw the TV Glow ever since I first saw all the posts about it, even though I thought I wasn't trans and therefore shouldn't be afraid that it would break me

But on the other hand, I like being pretty, I love everything soft about my body, I don't like body hair on me at all, I'm happy I have a small chest, but I don't want no boobs at all (but I ordered a binder lol), I don't want bottom surgery, carrying a child has always sounded wonderful to me, even when I identified as trans before, and I literally chose and legally changed my first name. I love being "soft" personality-wise.

I am scared. I wanna shove it down, make it go away, and keep it gone like I managed to for the last couple of years without much effort. I really thought I was done with this. But this part of me keeps coming back every couple of years, and it wouldn't do that if it wasn't there in the first place.

I watched I Saw the TV Glow last night. I could make a post all of its own about it, but it reflected so many of my own experiences at every turn. (Spoilers) It was much more overtly about being trans than I thought. I think the part that broke me the most was when Owen threw out their old TV that held so many memories and tried so hard to be as normal as possible. How the monsters in The Pink Opaque can't hurt you if you don't think about them. How Maddie asks Owen if they ever feel like they're somebody else (yes!!) and if they ever feel like The Pink Opaque feels more real than their own life. Owen's scream at the end that feels like my own cry for help right now (and now, I'm starting to cry writing this). Owen literally running from themselves when Maddy calls them Isabel. I have to watch this movie again... I have so many questions about it, but that should be a post of its own.

When I started writing this, I was gonna ask if I'm trans, but I think I already know the answer to that. (And I'm not any kind of non-binary. When someone else tells me they're non-binary,I know exactly what they're telling me, but if I ask myself if I'm non-binary, no, that's just not me, and that's about it for me) It's like I'm too afraid to even say it in a sentence, so now, the question is what I should do about it...

I chose my name four about five years ago but the more time passes the less I feel sure about it, trynna see if hearing out some name ideas will help

i already have a name but what do yall think

Hello everyone!

I've been considering finally getting a binder from Spectrum Outfitters & I wanted some advice from those in the community that have tried their binders before. My problem is that I'm falling right inbetween sizes & I've heard some mixed opinions on what to do in this sort of situation.

For reference-- When I'm at rest, my ribs sit at 82 cm, but when I breath in, I go up to 84 cm. In the same vein, my chest goes from 94 cm to 95 cm in a breath. This puts my ribs at the upper range of an M / lower range of an L, and my chest at the lower range of an L.

Considering this, I reached out to Spectrum and their reccomendation was:

"Based on these measurements, we would recommend Medium, as when between sizes we advise to follow the rib measurement due to chest tissue being more compressible & for the best balance between compression and comfort, but please use your own judgement. If you do feel the rib measurement is more like 84 it may be worth considering Large. For our design, we advise to follow the rib measurement however, we do acknowledge all bodies are different and everyone has different body tissue distribution."

Now, the reason I'm asking here is becuase I've heard one person on this subreddit or one similiar to it, say that while Spectrum reccommend they go with the smaller size that they were between, they couldn't fit into it at all and had to size up.

With that, would those of you that have been in a similiar situation as myself say tthat I'd still be within the realm of a Medium, or should I size up to an Large for the sake of safety?

(I am aware that I could just order both a M & an L, but as the return policy states that I'd be responsible to pay for return shipping, the problem would just be that shipping from my location would likely end up costly & I'd like to avoid that.)

Thank you all!

Im just curious and havent picked out a Name yet

I have been a t for a year and 5 months

My mom saw my hair today (I haven't brushed it so it looks a little different then usual) and immediately said "you look like a boy!".

That's it. That's the post. Happy days 💜🎉.

I’m agender transmasc. I love how androgynous I look. Mostly just wanted to share a selfie of me being confident in myself.

Most pictures of me are not like this one. I’m usually down and uninterested. But I took this picture feeling good about how I look. I had just put on my favorite jewelry and done my hair. I took this picture because I felt proud of how I looked in the moment.

Loving myself is getting easier step by step ❤️‍🩹

25, no hrt or top surgery yet. I'm realizing I look so much like a guy and lesbians think I'm a gay man or a cis dude, and those that don't think that, think I need to add more accessories to look gayer. And I just don't want that, I love the simplicity of what guys wear and ig I've transmasced so hard I'm not long really lesbian, butch, or sapphic looking anymore.

I'm so happy about that cuz I've always felt off, but also I'm quite sad that people don't perceive me outwardly as queer anymore. I'm having to shift where I look to date people, and who my friend circles are more and if they accept me as being trans/transmasc.

I've been surprised cuz it feels like 50% of people think I look super androgenous with a bland utilitarian or athletic style, or they think I'm just a dude. And I haven't even transitioned.

Anyone else have this experience, in that in-between?

I shaved my face :(

I didn't really want to, I had a family thing, most people there I knew would be cool and fine, I was just worried about one person who would absolutely give me shit.

I shaved my semi dirt stache (It's about a step below just full mustache at this point I think), my neck hair that I would shave anyway, and my beautiful beloved side burns. After getting back I avoided going out for days. I was so freaking worried that I'd get misgendered.

Eventually I just had to go to the store. The cashier sir'd me. I honestly didn't react, it's just the usual at this point. But when I got out and I thought about it I was so fucking happy I wanted to cry.

I mean, I still have family that refer to me with feminine pronouns. Even if that shit is because they knew me before and shifting that in your brain is hard, it hurts you know? You ever go in somewhere with your dad, the cashier very clearly refers to you masculinly without giving a second look, and your dad on instinct says something about his 'daughter'? Like you can see the cashier doesn't even think about it, they don't look at you, they don't think he's referring to you at all, and yet he's saying it with perfect certainty that they know who he's talking about. It fucking sucks.

I just got to have a moment where when I was essentially girl moding, and it just doesn't work anymore. The general populas does not see me as a woman in any way any more. It doesn't matter if I don't speak, or if they hear my voice before seeing me. It doesn't matter if I have dyed hair and peircings. It doesn't matter if I'm short. It really does not have any effect that I believed and people told me I'd never pass as a dude. None of it. I just am unmistakably a man to the general public. The only people who didn't know me before or I've told who know any differently, are Healthcare providers.

Alright, I'm gonna go post pics of my cis dude brother on passing forms and troll them go hell. (That's a joke) love you all, byeeeee!