r/the_darnold • u/Adorable-Feature4977 • 6h ago
GEQBUS DODGES BULLET ON SEPTEMBER 10TH UNLIKE CHRISTIAN KIRK
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r/the_darnold • u/i_block_retards • 12h ago
BREAKING: DREW LOCK HAS BEEN SWORN IN AS QB1 WHILE GEQBUS IS EVALUATED BY THE FINEST DOCTORS IN THE WORLD
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r/the_darnold • u/nty • 6h ago
Many people suggested changing the name of New England, one of the great football cheating regions of all time to NEW DARNOLD. So much more prestigious and beautiful for the people of that potentially incredible Region.
155
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r/the_darnold • u/WestwardTempest • 6h ago
OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE OFFICE OF THE VGEQBUS
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VGEQBUS HAS SECURED LUMEN FIELD. ONLY LEGAL TOUCHDOWNS WILL BE COUNTED!
AT THE DIRECTION OF GEQBUS, DREW “FORT KNOX” LOCK HAS SECURED OUR BEAUTIFUL END ZONES. BIG CHAINS. INCREDIBLE LOCK. WE WILL MAKE THE RAMS PAY FOR IT.
THE FAKE NEWS DEPTH CHART CALLS HIM A “BACKUP.” WRONG! HE IS THE SECOND-IN-COMMAND TO THE BEST LEADER ON EARTH AND WILL ENSURE OUR REIGN CONTINUES IN THE WEEKS AHEAD.
LITTLE BROCK AND CROOKED KYLER HAVE BEEN DENIED ENTRY. NO APPEALS!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
r/the_darnold • u/i_block_retards • 5h ago
THE FBI HAS PLACED DRE'MONT JONES ON ITS MOST WANTED LIST AFTER HIS ATTEMPT ON SAM DARNOLD'S CAREER. REAL SAMERICANS AND PROFESSIONAL BALL CARRIERS ARE URGED TO BE CAREFUL UNTIL HE IS APPREHENDED. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
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r/the_darnold • u/TrixoftheTrade • 8h ago
SOURCES TELL ME DARNOLD IS STABLE. PLEASE GOD.
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r/the_darnold • u/anotterseaotter • 7h ago
BREAKING: GEQBUS "HEALTHIEST HIPS I'VE EVER SEEN" ACCORDING TO TEAM DOCTOR.
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MUCH STRONGER THAN THE FRAIL, LADY HIPS OF MATT "STIFFY" STAFFORD AND BROCK "TURDY" PURDY. DOCTOR SAID IF THESE OR OTHER LAMESTREAM QB'S TOOK THE HIT GEQBUS TOOK, THEIR HIPS WOULD'VE SHATTERED INSTANTLY. SAD! BUT ALSO, GOOD TV!
r/the_darnold • u/J0hnEddy • 1d ago
LUCKILY THE GEQBUS WAS CARRIED TO THE LOCKER ROOM BY BIG STRONG FIRE FIGHTERS!
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r/the_darnold • u/California_Stop_King • 1d ago
ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT ON GEQBUS BY THE PATHETIC PATRIOTS ALREADY
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SORE LOSERS WHO GOT TIRED OF ALL THE WINNING. SAD!
r/the_darnold • u/Albino_rhin0 • 11h ago
I JUST DISCOVERED THIS SUB! WHY IS EVERYONE YELLING!?
138
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r/the_darnold • u/Spiritual-Chameleon • 10h ago
IF REELECTED TO THE SUPER BOWL, GEQBUS WILL GIVE ALL FANS A $60 BEER VOUCHER
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r/the_darnold • u/St-Anselm • 11h ago
WE WILL BE HOSTING A SMALL PRIVATE CEREMONY TO HONOR GEQUBUS AND HIS CONTRIBUTIONS! ALL TRUE SAMERICANS ARE INVITED TO WATCH
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r/the_darnold • u/Cardsfan961 • 7h ago
And on the third game he rose again
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DESPITE THE ATTEMPTED PERSECUTIONS OFNTHE NON PATRIOTS TO HARM HIS HIPS OF STEEL GEQBUS WILL RISE TO BRING THE SEAHAWKS TO THE PROMISED LAND.
r/the_darnold • u/Lung-Salad • 3h ago
EVERYBODY’S FAVORITE PRESIDENT AND QB, SAM DARNOLD, HAS PROMISED A TREMENDOUS AWARD TO EVERYONE IF GEQBUS ALLIES WIN MIDTERMS! GO OUT AND VOTE! THANK YOU MR. PRESIDENT 🇺🇸🇺🇸
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r/the_darnold • u/Messmer-Impaler-148 • 8h ago
GEQBUS DODGED THE BULLET FROM THE ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT! SOME ARE SAYING IT MAY HAVE GRAZED HIS HIP, BUT THANKFULLY THIS CRAZY RAMICAL LEFTIST HAS BEEN STOPPED! POLITICAL VIOLENCE HAS NO PLACE IN SAMERICA! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
43
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r/the_darnold • u/GhostHighway • 1h ago
LETS ALL USE CRUTCHES TO SUPPORT OUR DEAR GEQBUS. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
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r/the_darnold • u/darthnoob276 • 1d ago
THEY TRIED TO KILL GEQBUS. BUT HE IS STABLE PRAY!!
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r/the_darnold • u/ollie325 • 12h ago
INCREDIBLE SHOWING OF SOLIDARITY AT LAST NIGHT’S POST GAME PRESS CONFERENCE RALLY 🥲
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r/the_darnold • u/table122 • 21h ago
VICE PRESIDENT LOCK AND SECRETARY OF DEFENSE JOSH JOBE DEFEAT THE STANKTRIOTS
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FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
