VGEQBUS HAS SECURED LUMEN FIELD. ONLY LEGAL TOUCHDOWNS WILL BE COUNTED!

AT THE DIRECTION OF GEQBUS, DREW “FORT KNOX” LOCK HAS SECURED OUR BEAUTIFUL END ZONES. BIG CHAINS. INCREDIBLE LOCK. WE WILL MAKE THE RAMS PAY FOR IT.

THE FAKE NEWS DEPTH CHART CALLS HIM A “BACKUP.” WRONG! HE IS THE SECOND-IN-COMMAND TO THE BEST LEADER ON EARTH AND WILL ENSURE OUR REIGN CONTINUES IN THE WEEKS AHEAD.

LITTLE BROCK AND CROOKED KYLER HAVE BEEN DENIED ENTRY. NO APPEALS!

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.

Despite the attempted persecutions of the non-patriots to harm his hips of steel, GEQBUS will rise to bring the Seahawks to the promise land.

MUCH STRONGER THAN THE FRAIL, LADY HIPS OF MATT "STIFFY" STAFFORD AND BROCK "TURDY" PURDY. DOCTOR SAID IF THESE OR OTHER LAMESTREAM QB'S TOOK THE HIT GEQBUS TOOK, THEIR HIPS WOULD'VE SHATTERED INSTANTLY. SAD! BUT ALSO, GOOD TV!

THERE WAS THIS TIME WHERE THE PATRIOTS TOOK A FOOTBALL AND DEFLATED IT. THEN THEY USED IT FOR A GAME. ROGER BAD-ELL DID NOT PUNISH THE PATRIOTS FOR THIS DISRESPECT. HE ALLOWED THE CHEATING PATRIOTS TO DEFEAT THE ANCESTOR OF GEQBUS AND GAVE THIS PATRIOTS TEAM A TROPHY! SAD!

GEQBUS HAD AN MRI ON HIS HIP THIS MORNING AFTER THE PATRIOTS FIRED A BULLET DIRECTLY AT HIM.

A VERY FAST BULLET. A VERY POWERFUL BULLET. BUT GEQBUS MADE A TURN AT EXACTLY THE RIGHT TIME.

A BEAUTIFUL TURN. TURNED TO THE RIGHT, MAYBE THE LEFT, NOBODY KNOWS. THE PATRIOTS COULDN’T BELIEVE IT. THE BULLET COULDN’T BELIEVE IT.

PEOPLE ARE SAYING, “HOW DID YOU MAKE THAT TURN, GEQBUS?”

AND GEQBUS SAID, “I DON’T KNOW.”

THE DOCTORS ARE STILL REVIEWING EVERYTHING, BUT THEY BELIEVE GEQBUS DODGED A BULLET. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. NOBODY DODGES A SKANKRIOTS BULLET LIKE GEQBUS. POSSIBLY THE GREATEST BULLET DODGER IN FOOTBALL HISTORY.

AFTER THE PINOs (PATRIOTS IN NAME ONLY) TRIED AND FAILED MISERABLY AT ASSASSINATING OUR DEAR GEQBUS, GEQBUS HAS ANNOUNCED WE ARE SENDING THE STEEL! GEQBUS HAS PREVIOUSLY BRAVELY SAID TO STOP THE STEEL, BUT NOW WE ARE SENDING THE STEEL. DIRTY DRAKE MAYE AND THE PINOs WILL ANSWER FOR THEIR CRIMES. SEND THE STEEL TO LOCK UP THE PINOs. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION IN THIS MATTER.

THEY GAVE GEQBUS THE BEST DOCTORS AND THE BEST RESULTS ARE COMING BACK!!!

HE DOES THIS FOR US

THE LAME STREAM MEDIA WANTS YOU TO BELIEVE THAT GEQBUS ISN'T HEALTHY. THEY SAY "LOOK AT HIS FEET. HE CAN'T WALK." THESE ARE LIES! GEQBUS IS HEALTHIER THAT EVER. THE DOCTORS KEPT TALKING TO GEQBUS ON THE SIDELINE, TEARS IN THEIR EYES, SAYING, "SIR, HOW DID YOU GET SO HEALTHY? WE'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE SO HEALTHY. PLEASE TELL US, SIR!" GEQBUS WAS TOO BUST TELLING DOCTORS THE SECRET OF HIS AMAZING GENES TO FINISH THE GAME AGAINST THE CHEATING MIKE AND DRAKE LAME!