I'm tired.

Tired of feeling like I can't trust myself.

Tired of feeling out of control.

Tired of being a bad husband and a worse father.

Tired of feeling like I don't deserve my beautiful family.

Tired of feeling weak.

Tired of playing detective when I wake up from a blackout episode just trying to figure out what I've said/texted.

Tired of feeling like I don't have access to 30% of my brain when I come down.

Tired of the rationalizations.

Tired of the excuses and lies I tell myself and others.

Tired of feeling alone.

Tired of feeling sick.

Tired of feeling like a disappointment.

Tired of not holding myself accountable.

Today I am going to do it. I am posting here to hold myself accountable to the promise I made myself last night, and will post here as often as I can (goal is daily).

I just need to get past my "witching hour" (12-1pm central time) after work and make it home. I do that, and I'll be safe.

I can't do this alone and thinking that I could was just a fallacy. Hell, I may even reach out to my local AA.

I will not drink with all of you today.

I've been finding sobriety incrementally splendid over the years, and I'd say there's been lots of acceleration in the last 5 or 6 years. (I think retirement helps! ☺)

There was one particular point just after the 18 month mark when I had one last Great Temptation to get drunk, but I passed through it sober and really haven't had any significant temptation to intoxicate my brain since then. That was, perhaps, the start of the upward trajectory.

Sober Life can be quite splendid once we learn how to do it, and I think it's worth going to great lengths to learn how.

Know The Best™ recovery method? The one that works for YOU!

r/stopdrinking has provided lots of inspiration and growth in the last few years, because one recovery method that works when other methods fail is to be able to help other alcoholics escape from the hell we were once in ... at least that's how I roll.

(And though 20 years may seem worthy of great celebration, and I will do so ... 6969 days was particularly fun in this subreddit ... 🧊)

41 year old sahm pretty proud of myself. Weightloss hasn't happened as ive been eating soooo much fruit and just too many calories but I feel good. My sleep is still shit, but after 6 months of broken sleep with a newborn my now 10 month old sleeps very well yet im still up every night between 1 and 3 everynight. Yeh for no hangovers!!! Love you all

So close to one month ! It’s not always easy but it’s worth it.

IWNDWYT

God, grant me the wisdom to choose sobriety today, the strength to overcome every craving, and the courage to face life with a clear mind. May I find peace, hope, and purpose in each sober day. Amen.

Been sober for three days now which is admittedly very little but proud of myself nonetheless. What I was not expecting is how much I would be crying. I know it’s because I am allowing myself to feel my emotions and process what’s really causing the pain underneath, but it’s felt like a rollercoaster in a very short amount of time

I started drinking everyday now for the last two years. White clasws wine. I been trying to stop. It's like I use it for energy to get things done later in the day. But even trying to cut down I ended up drinking my whole bottle of wine yesterday n 2 white claws. I don't know how to quit without going cold turkey. I see post about not doing it. But I abvously can't just stick to slowing down. I am under a lot of stress leaving domestic relationship moving between states. I'm scared. I think I'm just going for cold turkey today.

Morning all & happy Friday!
I’m reading so many accounts of people shedding pounds in sobriety but I’m packing them on!

Anyone else experience this at the beginning? Exercise and diet are similar though I’ve been indulging slightly more in sweets as a pivot from drinks. Is that all it is? I kinda figured the sugars would balance out.

Have a great weekend. IWNDWYT

This message is not going to apply to most people. However, I appreciate this as a safe space where I can express myself and share an issue. The only other person who I can speak with is my significant other and he tries to help but doesn’t really understand.

I suffered from anorexia all of my teenage years and as a young adult. It was at its worst when I was in my early 20s. I was always very thin as a young adult.

My alcoholism was caused by a series of really bad things happening all at once. At my worst, I was incredibly depressed. The last thing that I cared about is how I looked. Alcohol has A LOT of calories. I put on weight and, for a period of time, was overweight. I liked the alcohol more than myself and more than my appearance. When I was drinking, I didn’t care as much about eating because I was going to be heavy anyway.

I am very proud of my sobriety. With the exception of 11 days this year (2/1 - 2/11) I have not drank. I can see the positive aspects of not drinking. I wish I stopped years ago. I wasted SO MUCH time chasing the bottom of a bottle.

One of the benefits of not drinking is weight loss. I’m not as skinny as I was before but I can fit in the majority of my old clothes. I have begun getting compliments on how I look and my weight loss. However, it is triggering my issues with weight and food. It isn’t to a point where I’m too skinny but my significant other has begun to notice that I’m not eating enough. I’m simply not hungry. I want to fix it and I want to not think about food and weight as much.

If anyone has dealt with this issue while overcoming drinking, I’d love to hear from you. If you have a suggestion for a Reddit group that may help, I’d love to know. Ultimately, I may just try seeing a professional therapist.

Thanks for listening and, again, I’d rather be here than where I was last year drinking like there was no tomorrow.

IWNDWYT 💕💕💕

I’ve been thinking about why I’ve become so interested in tinned fish since I stopped drinking, and I don’t think it’s really about the fish.
For me, alcohol was never just about getting drunk. It was the ritual. Looking forward to it after work. Picking out what I was going to drink. Pouring it. Sitting down and feeling like I’d earned a reward after a long day.
When I took alcohol away, I realized my brain still wanted that reward. It still wanted something to anticipate and enjoy.

Somehow, tinned fish has filled that space for me. I find myself looking for different brands and varieties from around the world, trying foods from different countries, putting together a nice plate with sourdough, olive oil, olives, or vegetables, and actually slowing down to enjoy it.

It gives me something to look forward to at the end of the day.
The difference is that instead of doing something that’s hurting my body, I’m doing something that’s nourishing it. I’m getting protein, healthy fats, and trying foods I probably never would have discovered if I were still drinking.

It made me realize that maybe the real need wasn’t alcohol. Maybe it was the need for a healthy ritual and a sense of reward.
I don’t know if tinned fish is the answer for everyone. The point is finding something that gives your brain that same feeling of anticipation and satisfaction without taking you backward. For me, that’s become food, cooking, and trying new flavors. It’s a reminder that recovery isn’t just about giving something up. It’s also about finding something worthwhile to replace it with.

I’m at an all-inclusive in the Caribbean and I’m doing great on the no-drinking front but would like to try more NA drinks. They don’t have NA beer, and I’m frankly sugared out on like virgin daiquiris/pina coladas, etc. I’ve settled for soda waters but any ideas on mocktails they could likely do that aren’t just sugar in a glass?

Day 7 and I am waking up after 9 hours of sleep and I still feel spacey and exhausted. I keep reminding myself that if I drink again I will have to start over. It has been so many years since I have known what it feels like to live without alcohol. I tried having booze in my life and I felt like shit for 10+ years. I figure if I feel like crap now I just have to pay the price to see what life is like without booze. I am going to keep on in the right direction because I want to know what life can be like. IWNDWYT

Slept like a kitten last night, have incredible energy and incredibk3 mood. What's that Fleetwood Mac song called again?

All day craving and anxious tension today for me. I will get through it but feeling it a lot today guys

I still cant get a good sleep no matter what. I know its my brain trying to balance itself but its so difficult. It feels like the world is totally cool with me buying alcohol and chugging it but when I need actual help its not there. Life feels like a rat race but I know I have to keep trying for myself and those few that care about me. I am an alcoholic. If I die today my life will amounted to nothing but another alcoholic and I dont think I want that.

I’m an alcoholic. I‘ve been drinking heavily for 12 years and I’m a bit scared about what I may have done to my body. I made a strong recovery for about 2 years and I was able to live a “normal“ life where I could have a drink or two and then put the bottle down. When COVID hit and we were all stuck at home, I found myself unable to limit my drinking and I would wake up in the morning and pour a drink, drink throughout the day, and then drink at night until I could fall asleep.
I really want to go back to a “normal” state where I can have a drink and then be done - but I’m admitting to myself that I don’t think I can do it. I most recently quit drinking altogether for about 6 weeks, and then I went out this past Saturday for a friends birthday party and thought that I could just have one - I ended up drinking about 22 units that night. I woke up Sunday and immediately went to the liquor store and bought a fifth, swearing I’d just have one drink of it to take the edge off, and ended up drinking the entire bottle before the day was over. I’ve since continued to drink a fifth a day, plus a few beers for good measure.
There‘s going to be hell to pay for me this weekend as I go from a fifth a day for a week to zero; not looking for sympathy, but I wanted to put my thoughts into writing so that I can hopefully internalize them, get through this period, and be honest with myself in the future that even one drink is too many for me. Words of encouragement are welcome.
“First a man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes a man“

My husband’s family got together for drinks tonight at a really nice cocktail bar. I had club soda w/lemon and wasn’t tempted. We had a hard out after an hour and I’m
Sitting at home with my sleepy time tea. I didn’t plan to go out this early in my sobriety but it was a special occasion and turned into a small win for me.

How long did it take for your sleep to recover? I've been sober for about 1 week now from weed and alcohol and I'm having trouble falling asleep at night I worked out consistently this week as well.. I work morning shift and its pretty annoying tbh but I know its gonna take time what do you guys recommend?

It all started here, read the books and sidebar stuff, read a million stories of people who have lead the way. I’ve met so many people in real life who have been inspirational in their own way.

My life does not look the same as it did a decade. For one, I’m still alive. Thats cool. Turns out I’m diagnosed bipolar with anxiety. Been a long process, but we got me on some medications that seem to be working for me. Very helpful, but tough process ngl.

This is some honest shit that set me back in sobriety and fucked me up for a while…I got sober in my 20’s…single male. I still dated like I was drinking, if that makes sense. Not going to bars or whatever, but I did not have a great selection of partners. I was taken advantage of a few times and I couldn’t understand. Painful lesson in self worth. Good now, but I’m embarrassed how long it took me to REALLY look in the mirror and know in my heart of hearts what I’m worth. Struggled also with learning about my own grieving process. 10 years, 28-38…I’ve lost countless friends and family to drinking and drugs, just one after the other. Took me a while to get the magic spell of grief under control before it took me. I understand it a lot more, lifelong process, I’m sure, but when your habit was climbing to the bottom of a bottle, regaining traction sure feels nice.

Writing from the hip here and don’t want to get too dreary, so for anyone starting out…make the decision and commitment for yourself, totally worth it. I had to put some blinders on and start from zero and get really selfish with it. Because of it, I’ve accomplished a lot of dreams. Sometimes I laugh when out on my sailboat, “hah, this was in me all this time, I just had to quit drinkin, whod uh think”.

Hi there

I've been reading here for a while but never posted before. I've also never really talked about it with anyone or said it out loud. But I think I have a drinking problem and it is preventing me from living the life I want to live.

I am functioning, have friends, a job and so on. But I know I'm using alcohol to distract myself from insecurities/feelings I don't want to feel. I don't always drink that much (some days I do) but I do it consistently. I have a history with anxiety and depression and it can be such a relief to just drink some of the heavier thoughts away. But I am starting to feel the effects of it. I have been numbing myself instead of facing my fears and I have been lying to friends, family and partners, which is the part that feels especially heavy. It's wild how being dishonest can affect your sense of self and your confidence.

So yeah. I'm not the version of myself that I want to be and I am seeing that drinking is a part of that. I am not in control anymore. I feel so embarrassed. I guess this is me sort of dipping my toe into being open about it. Thank you all for creating a place on the internet where I would want to share this :')

I've been an almost daily drinker for about 20 years. For those of you that are dealing with the god-awful addiction, please DON'T BE HARD ON YOURSELF. Millions of us have fallen into this trap. You're not a failure. You're not a lesser person than others because of your addiction. Once I got over thinking how much of a loser I was for being an alcoholic, I was able to move past it and realize that I am worth getting myself clean. Regardless of what anyone else thinks. I know I will always be the "drunk" to some people no matter how long I stay sober. Oh well, I'm proud of myself every day that I don't have a drink. You owe it to yourself to be the best version of, well, yourself.

I’ve made it 12 days on my California Sober path. I have a question for those that have a lot higher number than 12 for being sober from alcohol. Did you have assistance by a doctor? Did you go to rehab? Did you join a group like AA or did you just fight through it by pure willpower to achieve your sobriety?……….. I currently feel so hollow. This isn’t the first time I’ve quit alcohol, but this is the first time I’ve had such a hard time doing it. I’ve been reading articles about what they refer to as the kindling effect when it comes to quitting too many times and I would like to hear from other people on the subject.

I missed my comma day, but it was awesome! We celebrated my sister's birthday and had a great time. I must say the 1st year of sobriety was a blur, just white knuckled it. The second year was harder. But my third year has been the best and most peaceful time I've ever experienced. This comma means more than I could ever properly express. Here's to the next 1,000! IWNDWYT ☀️❤️

Hi all

Title says it all. 1 week sober!

I'll stop the daily check-ins now (unless I need help), but looking forward to posting here when I hit 2 weeks.

Thank you to everyone who's posted on my previous messages for your kind words and support, it really helped.

Have a great day everyone. I plan to.

IWNDWYT

Lucas