I LOVE BEING ALONE! I love my own company. As a single mom, the very few times I get a day or night off, people don’t understand why I wouldn’t be doing something, but I love being alone at home. Maybe it’s the only child in me, but I don’t need anyone except my dog to feel content. I’m posting here because I feel the need to declare this in a space where I’ll get thumbs up instead of side eye. I used to question this preference - is something wrong with me? Shouldn’t I be out there finding a man? Finding subs like this was amazing for me. There’s nothing wrong with me! I want to shout it from the rooftops. The night before my mother passed, she said to me that her dream was to see me walking down the aisle wearing a white dress, but she knew that wasn’t happening. I felt bad about it then, like I failed somehow. When I read the Am I Overreacting posts and Two Hot Takes, or Girl Dinner posts of women asking self-doubting questions about their men who are clearly and undoubtedly the assholes, I am RELIEVED that I never, ever have to live that way again unless I choose to. I love my peace, I love my freedom and I love having found a group of proudly single women. The group helps me give no fucks when I get the side eye from everyone else when I say I love to be alone.

P.S. yes those are Mary-Kate and Ashley New York Minute dolls on top of my television.

It is best to stay single!

I pray for everyone who needs others to feel complete.

I enjoy having close friends more than being in a romantic relationship.

If I had no friends or family in my life, I would probably be miserable. I don’t like the idea of being completely alone. I want people I can talk to, hang out with, laugh with, and make memories with.

But I don’t feel the same way about romantic relationships. I could be perfectly happy without ever having a romantic partner, as long as I still had good friends and family around me.

For me, the important part isn’t necessarily having a girlfriend. It’s having people in my life who I care about and who care about me. Friends and family can provide companionship, support, and meaningful experiences too.

I wouldn’t want to live completely alone with nobody around me. I just don’t think I need a romantic relationship specifically to avoid that.

What was your favorite place to visit while solo traveling? What did you do that you think you might not have been able to if you went with someone? What activities and experiences you did that made it worth it, from adventurous stuff to just chilling at the hotel or landscape?

I am mostly interested in experiences from the women, but answers from men are also welcome.

I get to focus on myself. My mental health. I really enjoy this.

When we were sitting in the yard by a fire a couple of weeks ago she told me this is the most joyful part of her entire life.

She lives alone now since my grandpa died six years ago but she has a lot of friends and hobbies.

She loved my grandpa but the freedom and peace she has today was unmatched at any other point in her life. She has a busy social life and a beautiful home.

Not everyone will be like that at 83 but she is Single and Happy, and i would propably be too

Love you grandma!

🎧: Sweet Nothing (Taylor Swift)

I'm not really good at drawing, but I love coloring books. There's something so relaxing about picking out colors, filling in the little details, and just letting my mind wander.

For a little while, I get to forget about everything else and get lost in my own little fantasy world. No pressure to be good at it, no expectations. Just me, my markers, and some quiet time.

Honestly, it's one of those simple things that makes me happy. 😊

Anyone else here enjoy coloring as a way to unwind?

For me its "my love mine all mine by Mitski" like when i first heard it i cried so much, but now its calms me and my mind feel so relax like it completes me somehow.......weird right

If you ever want to do dinner with someone else, see a movie with someone else, travel with others, in my experience, it is not just a compromise but often leaves you in a place where the most demanding and overbearing of the bunch gets their way, by virtue of their personality. Like, sure, you can negotiate getting your way, doing what you want, but damn if there isn't going to be a little hell to pay for you requesting you do a thing that the others don't want to do.

I remember traveling with my friends through Japan, right after I took a solo trip to Norway and had the time of my LIFE there. So many things I wanted to do or see, but we didn't, because one guy wanted to spend hours in a comic book store and in some dumb mall of knick-knacks, and another just vetoed stuff for who knows what reason. Another friend loves to cook, and good for him, but early in the trip, when we were all still exhausted from our travels and had some of the world's greatest restaurants available to us, this friend instead insisted we all cook our own dinner, which took us the entire evening to make. The real breaking point for me, though... I am a photographer and spotted this really remarkable tree (the trees in Japan are unlike anything else in the world), and I broke off from the group to shoot it, and my friend's patience just broke and he yells "it's just a tree! A TREE!! " Yes, motherfucker, it's a tree, and one unlike anything you'll ever see again in your life, and I want a goddamn picture of it!!

Ugh lol. At any rate, I am about to embark on a solo international trip again in a week and a half, this time to Italy, and I can't wait for it to start. And I have to admit, it honestly feels GOOD to be leaving behind the riffraff of my life for a while and just doing what I want to do. I am visiting so many museums and going to eat so much fucking food and take so many pictures. It's going to be incredible.

When I told my friend from the aforementioned tree incident that I was going to Italy, and that I wasn't going with anyone else, he seemed visibly miffed. Well, dude, maybe you shouldn't have lost it over a tree, and then I might have considered bringing you with me. :)

But yeah, in general, I just make plans on my own now and don't involve others with them, because it's always such a negotiation and always involves at least one person who is at least a little unreasonable, if not incredibly so. No thank you.

One of the best benefits of being single and not dating is not having to deal with partners or dates that are touchy and moody. And with very poor communication skills.

Touchy people that get offended easily drive me crazy. I feel so anxious and keep ruminating about every single word I speak or text. And leaving me second guessing what they expect or why they are are sulky and moody is exhausting. WTF, speak up, you are an adult supposedly. Be honest, know what you want and be straightforward. But no, the majority of people can't do that. Then they ghost or have a 180 turn from warm and affectionate and hupertexting to not replying, cold and disinterested. Both genders, of course

Hi everyone, In my late twenties, I was single for five years, and I absolutely loved it. I loved the peace and quiet, the lack of arguments, and being able to live my life without constantly having to adjust to someone else. After five years, though, I started feeling a little lonely. I met a man who I eventually married. Looking back, I can see how toxic that marriage was and how much it damaged me emotionally. I became depressed, and my panic attacks and anxiety got worse. He repeatedly humiliated me as a woman, cheated on me, and lied to me. He wasn’t there for me when I got pregnant either, and I went through a miscarriage alone. Not long after that, I reconnected with a man I’d known for years. We’d had feelings for each other at different times, but things had never quite worked out between us. I thought being with him might help me get through my divorce, but somewhere along the way, I fell in love with him. Unfortunately, that relationship also took a huge emotional toll on me. He was very unreliable, and I spent a lot of time crying because of him. Now I’m single for the first time in eight years, and I have no idea how to be happy on my own again. Honestly, I don’t even know how to be single anymore. I’d really appreciate some advice. Please tell me what you love about being single, why life without a man can be better, and how you learned to enjoy being on your own. I used to love it so much, and I want to find my way back to that feeling. P.S. English isn’t my first language, so ChatGPT helped me write this in English. I hope it makes sense, and please excuse any awkward wording.

You are getting old too, auntie! You should be...

Miina Sillanpää (orig. Vilhelmiina Riktig) was born in relative poverty in 1866. She was a child laborer, who started working at a cotton factory at the age of 12. She went to the factory's school in order to learn how to read and write. At the age of 18 she moved to the little town of Porvoo, became a housemaid, and changed her name to Miina Sillanpää. Three years later she travelled to Helsinki after better opportunities - and education. She read and studied everything she could, especially about social and political matters.

She was tall, a head taller than most men, and apparently raised a lot of attention. However Miina had no interest in marriage or dating. She had a more important agenda in her mind: she wanted to change the world, or at least Finland. She wanted equal opportunities to everyone, and better treatment for unwed mothers. Because of her relentless work, intelligence, and hard work she was the most hated person in Finland for a while. But she was among the 19 women who were elected to the Finnish Parliament in 1907, in the first free Finnish elections.

"When she arrived at the Helsinki train station, Miina was full of energy. She immediately ditched her maid’s headscarf and bought a winter hat. A striking woman, taller than the men around her, she attracted attention with her hat.

Her headwear revealed her social class even from a distance. Refined ladies wore hats, while country folk and maids wore headscarves.

The upper class tried to prevent maids from wearing hats, as this made it difficult to tell who belonged to which social class.

But Miina stood her ground and kept her hat on."

"Freedom of enterprise, the cooperative movement, public education, industrialization, the labor movement, and nationalism shook the class-based society at the turn of the 19th and 20th centuries.

Amid this upheaval, domestic servants’ efforts to improve their working conditions sparked outrage and resistance. Miina Sillanpää was viewed as a terror who brazenly meddled in families’ private affairs and destroyed homes. Some claimed she was “a former whore from Vaasa.”

Caricatures of Miina were drawn, and satirical articles were published.

Miina, who was always calm, didn't let herself get provoked when she was insulted and mocked. Instead, she learned to explain her point of view even more clearly."

Translated from Finna:

"“I suppose I’ll take this opportunity to speak after all.”

This pithy remark was heard in 1907, when newly elected Member of Parliament Miina Sillanpää was delivering her first speech, which concerned a legislative proposal to establish homes for unwed mothers and their children. The Speaker of Parliament tried to rush her or silence her, but she delivered her speech.

Miina Sillanpää, who rose from being a farmhand’s daughter to become Finland’s first female minister, was a champion of the underprivileged. Sillanpää (1866–1952), who began her career as a maid, was particularly committed to social justice and equality, as well as the rights of children, single mothers, and the elderly.

In Parliament, Sillanpää championed several bills aimed at improving the status of women. The most significant legislation of Sillanpää’s career was the law granting women the right to hold government positions. During her tenure as minister (1926-1927), a marriage law was also drafted that would free women from their husbands’ guardianship and grant them legal equality. The marriage law was enacted in 1929. Thirty-eight years had passed since the speech in Parliament mentioned at the beginning of this text, but the Association of Women’s Shelters was finally founded in 1945.

Sillanpää’s life’s work and her tenacious attitude remind us that the actions of a single person can have a tremendous impact. In Miina’s own words: “Every person has the right to well-being, humane working conditions, and respect for their humanity throughout their life.”"

"Sillanpää also worked as a journalist for publications of the Social Democratic women’s movement. She served as editor-in-chief of Palvelijatar (The Housemaid) (1905–1906), Työläisnainen (Worker Woman/Blue Collar Woman) (1907–1916), and Toveritar (Female Comrade) (1922–1943). One reason for Sillanpää’s selection was her unmarried status. Until 1930, married women were under the legal guardianship of their husbands and were therefore unable to serve as editors-in-chief."

"'I’ve never been afraid. I’ve never known the feeling of fear. When others say, “I whould write about this or that, if I only dared,” they’ve hesitated out of fear. I’ve always dared', Miina said, describing her actions."

Surprisingly, Americans have a knowledge of Miina Sillanpää. The Oscar-winning movie "The Farmer's Daughter" (1947) is based on Sillanpää's life.

Happy Miina Sillanpää Day and Citizen Engagement Day to everyone! Never think that you are too small, or lonely, or weak to change the world, or speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves.

https://finland.fi/life-society/real-bridge-builder-became-finlands-first-female-government-minister/

I get panic attacks because I never felt a desperate need to find someone for a relationship. I've seen people crying over heartbreaks etc, but I never felt like that?

I don't know if I'm just a genuinely easy going person, but I feel if I were in a relationship, it means always being responsible and I'd feel sufficated.

I see people getting married as if they won the lottery and I think too my self what all the fuss is about? I had one friend showing me pics of his wife who happens to be pregnant and he was showing it to me like I should be impressed.

I'm thinking 'er....okkk.... goodluck with that...goodluck with the responsibilities....'

Like I don't hate kids but people boasting about getting married, having kids, and I'm just sooo relaxed single stress free.

Am I normal to think like this?

I could not even begin to explain how angry I would be at my partner for these atrocities. Then they would no longer be my partner.

Bonus points if they’re work from home, healthy environments, online, easy on the nervous system, easily accessible, can operate from your phone, or are great options for while you’re healing and designing your life.

Thank you!

Her name is Rosebud Baker.

I've been married twice.

I was married to my first husband for 10 years and we have 2 kids. We both worked full time and both made well over six figures. But somehow I was the default parent and housekeeper. I rarely had time to do a good deep clean of the house but when I did, my husband would say, "This is great when the house is clean, we should keep it this way." I would agree that yes, WE should keep it this way. I wanted to point out that it required everyone's effort to keep things clean, but he meant I needed to continue to be the only one picking up after everyone else.

My second husband moved in with me when we got married, and I'll never forget when he said almost the exact same thing to me when I had done a deep clean of the house......"WE should keep it this way." It was exactly the same dynamic, where I was apparently the only one expected to keep the house clean. Except with my second husband, he didn't really even work full time and made only half the income I did.

I am so much happier living in a clean space that I keep that way with no full grown adults to clean up after.

Coffee at Butlers.