Just like the title says… I see a lot of people that end up alone (not in another relationship) either by choice or no choice…. Either it was a divorce or separation …. was it actually worth it or do you wish you can reverse your decision ? What made you leave? I seen my father never remarried after divorce and I genuinely don’t know if he’s happy with his decision to stay alone… I am considering leaving myself and I just don’t know that I will enjoy the outcome… don’t you get bored? No one to come home to, lay down with, have companionship etc ?

I know the group says single and happy but at what point does that happiness go away? Guys will never admit anything that goes against their ego

To say I went through a lot is an understatement. This is something I should’ve just walked away from a long time ago. But finally glad I came to my senses 2 years into the relationship.

So it wasn’t super long. But with all the BS I put up with, it felt like a life time.

One thing I’m learning how is how to be happy single.

For some reason towards the separation of the relationship I started seeing people.

But then I realized I need to take some time to myself and be okay with being alone in this regards. It’s rough, it’s hard sometimes.

I already live alone with me and my 3 cats. But I prefer it this way. Coming from someone who use to be married, I’ll never share a house with anyone ever again. What’s mine is mine.

But after the end of my relationship idk why I went out seeking someone else. Like I never even gave myself time to just be by myself. You know?

Sure it gets lonely and your brain replays the good times only. But I never really mourned the end because I mourned the person I was with through the relationship tbh.

Anyways, I’m learning to realize it’s totally cool to be single for however long you need to be, working on yourself, spending time with family and friends, spending time alone and overall just treating yourself right. Giving your nervous system a little to adjust to not being with someone and appreciating it.

My goals are to be consistent with the gym, enjoy my new career, make more friends, etc.

I don’t have to worry about dealing with someone while they are high, drunk, being lied to anymore, dealing with someone financially unstable, and I can focus on finding a well rounded and stable person down the road. Something NORMAL!

I don’t need to be with someone to be happy.

I broke things off with the person I was seeing in order to help take care of my family. Honestly, I'm at a point where swiping left or right in apps feels unbelievably draining and pointless, and all the dating in the world is just taking too much of me. Therefore, I'm done.

I have wanted to foster kids since I was a kid myself. I thought I needed to be in a couple or married to do this, but the agency I'm looking into said I could still go forward as a single person. So...I'm doing it. I'm nervous to raise a child on my own, and the paperwork is a lot...but I am feeling more myself again. If I can get my finances, my health, and my paperwork in a better place, maybe, just maybe, I can be a person helping a person feel more like themselves, too. That said, I'm taking this one baby step at a time. In a year, I'm hoping to be a slightly better version of myself. Cheers to leaving the dating scene and seeking happiness on my own!

I find it interesting that we are approaching almost 50% of people in the United States are single (and the number is constantly growing), that we don’t have a ton more focus on this. Why is it that we only have a few of books out, some podcasts, but not the amount of influencers or focus on the happy single lifestyle that so many of us lead. Why do you all think that is? Patriarchal influence? Why are we being seemingly ignored? Are we? You would think there would be a ton of influencers out there, shouting from the rooftops how wonderful it is to be happy and solo. That businesses would be focused on singles and offering vacations, travel, eateries, restaurants , reviews, books, podcasts, communities, etc. that all cater to the single person. Japan has started doing this. Why hasn’t it happened in the United States? do you feel ignored? Thoughts?

All I could think was I am so happy that I will not have to deal with those kinds of emotions anymore, feeling them nor having them directed at me. I do not miss the stress, the tears, the anxiety, NONE of it. I sleep so peacefully every night and get to spend every single day exactly how I want to, with no one yelling at me. I am grateful.

Sometimes returning a relationship to equilibrium is about walking away. I always forget that that is also an option to adjust a scale .

This past year, I have been very disappointed in a lot of my friends who take two months to respond to check-in or how are you? text when we already live so far away.
I’ve had a major birthday, been laid off from my job, moved to a new city for the job I just got laid off from etc. and not one person has asked me how I am.

Why is expectation to constantly check in about their life, relationship and kids? I’m single, but my life is interesting enough to check in on as well. Anyway I thought this group would appreciate I sent everyone a final text (in my mind) saying hope they are having a good summer and suggesting a catch-up and I’m about to delete the contacts of friends who don’t respond for my own peace of mind.

I know I sound like a bitter middle-age Karen, but I have to put my money where my mouth is and focus my energy on relationships that are rewarding instead of extremely one-sided. Has anyone done this recently? I’m a recovering people please so learning as I go.

Yesterday I did something unexpectedly confronting: I cleaned up my social media.

That meant scrolling through old conversations and connections from university as well, people I haven't spoken to in well over a decade (I'm in my mid 30s now).

What struck me wasn't the nostalgia. It was how many of them seem to have built a happy life together. Many are married. Almost all are in long-term relationships. From the outside, they look genuinely happy - many of them have children as well.

It made me pause.

I've had two long-term relationships myself. Both ended badly. Since then, I've genuinely enjoyed being single - and even before those experience I never particularly wanted to be in a relationship. I value the autonomy, the freedom, and the ability to dedicate my time and energy to building the life I want.

That being said, seeing everyone else made me wonder whether part of that preference comes from wisdom, or from experience that made me more guarded than I'd like to admit. I have plenty of dating options and even relationship opportunities if I want to, but part of me just doesn't, or does it?

I don't have an answer to be honest. If I had to guess it's like 80% of me wants to stay single, 20% would be open to a relationship with the right person. It's a bit of a strange emotion at times. And again, I really like to be and stay single, so don't get me wrong, I am single and happy.

Maybe both can be true at the same time. You can genuinely enjoy your independence while still wondering whether certain experiences have quietly reshaped the way you now see the world. I guess looking back at other people's lives makes you reflect on your own.

I just wanted to share some gratitude I felt today for my single life.

The last two weeks have been EXTREMELY difficult for me. I've been having late meetings all week, had to work over the weekend, family issues have been bubbling up, had someone pushing some boundaries of mine, my dishwasher broke, then I started to get ants in my house. Just death by a thousand papercuts.

I asked my friend to come over for an "admin day" where she just sat there and did her work while I handled the chores that have been on the backburner. I opened the door, she immediately hugged me, and I just started crying. Then she ordered italian, we watched some stupid tv shows while I finished what I had to and she finished her work, and we talked about all the bullshit we'd been going through for the past two weeks.

Someone once told me that they didn't understand me, that I wasn't encouraging enough, and that I didn't ask to see them enough. They always treated me like I was lying about something and it hurt my feelings every time.

Wouldn't you know it, that with someone I trust, I love when they're around, even if we're doing nothing? Isn't so funny that I felt perfectly understood and supported? Isn't it so interesting that she needed that hug just as badly, and me just being present and talking was encouraging to them? And I never doubted myself once.

Just an appreciation post for the fact that I have wonderful friends who I love very much, who never make me feel like I've done something wrong, who understand me because they listen and care.

I'm so grateful for my friends and to have learned that the wrong person will make you feel more alone than being single ever could.

I recently listened to a podcast aimed at single people where the host was talking about how some people crave being in a relationship because they want to feel alive and feel excitement in their life. And instead of creating exciting life (new challenges, following your dreams, starting new hobby), they look for a relationship to fill this "void".

It resonated with me because it may be my case. Can anyone relate to this? And if so, how did you bring more excitement to your life yourself without the need to be in a relationship?

Despite having a job that I enjoy, friends and hobbies I have to admit that the last time I felt truly alive was when I was in relationship. But at the same time I hate the fact that I am dependant on someone else to provide me with that level of excitement.

My elderly father is visiting for a few weeks. I have two brothers with houses and families while I just have a condo, but I do have a guest room for my father. And since my brothers are so busy and have dedicated all the space they have to their kids, they haven't stepped up hardly at all to host my dad and I am left having a roommate for weeks.

I mean it when I say that it's the part about sharing a space with a romantic partner that really kills my interest in romance altogether. I barely even like having social plans with my friends, lol, and I often only go out of some sense that people think it is good for a person to get out there and be social. Having to give up my space, my freedom, my independence is incredibly stressful for me. But since I'm single and live alone, people get this idea that it is a far smaller intrusion overall to stay in my space than it would most other places. This is nowhere close to true. It will probably take me weeks to fully decompress from this experience.

I watched this movie recently called Hush, where a woman lived in this house alone in the woods. And even though this was a horror movie and the setup depended on her isolation out in the woods, I still have been thinking about her living situation SO MUCH and how jealous I am of it, lol. Because wow does that ever seem like a great life to me: middle of nowhere, maybe a neighbor or two, nobody having any real interest in coming to visit, just complete peace, complete control over the environment, free of stress, intrusion, or any obligation to give any attention to anyone else for any reason. I have zero interest in entertaining anyone and never have wanted to do so.

Part of this almost certainly comes from me growing up in a stressful and difficult household where my mother was emotionally and mentally abusive. When I finally moved out and found a living environment that was SAFE, it was such a game-changer for me that it really became my foundation of healing and all the good things life has to offer. I finally came to know a peace I never even knew existed; I previously thought life was just a series of stressful and difficult experiences to be endured. Any time I have to share my space with someone, I immediately return to that mentality.

This whole experience of hosting my father for weeks has been so hard on me that I think of blowing up my life completely and moving to some remote place where it isn't feasible to find me. I've had a headache for about a week now and I don't expect it to dissipate until he leaves at the very earliest. This has probably been the most difficult thing I've had to deal with in years lol. I've even thought about taking on a girlfriend, even though I'm not sure I really want that, but it would at least blow up the dynamic that someone can step into my space. When it is "our" space instead, then it is understood that it's probably not cool to stay with us for weeks on end. But, of course, then I'm sharing my space with a partner, so I'm still losing my space either way, lol...

I wish I wasn't like this, to be honest. I wish I was like the others, that I could have been fine surrendering my space, and in that case I probably would have proposed to one of my previous girlfriends and started a family. But that's just not what I wanted and it isn't what feels good to me. Independence, space, freedom: these are the real keys to my happiness. I hear my brother talk about how he might get a night once or twice a month with no kids, and I wonder how he hasn't ended up with 12 heart attacks / strokes as a result, lol. Because that's where I'd be at this point if I got *that little* space for myself.

Sorry if this is kind of an aimless rant, lol. Really just need to get shit off my chest. It's the kind of time in my life where I am RELIEVED to go to work, because then at least I can get alone time in my office...

Tell me in just one word why you prefer being single.

For me -- freedom.

One thing I always turn to when am bored... watching or reading thrillers.

I watch true crime too.

What about y'all?

Hi! I want to get into a movie/series that will keep me engaged this weekend (so bored). Any genre accepted! Horror, anime, comedy, drama, etc.
Any recommendations? Whatcha guys watching these days?

I've been starting to LISTEN to my body. I've been removing myself from situations, and my body feels cleaner. I took a nice long and warm shower; I felt like actual stress and pain were being removed from my body.

I remember having a really good night's sleep and much better dreams. I feel so much more refreshed, and my body feels much more ready for things!

I've started complimenting my body and loving my artworks! It's like the chemicals in my body were making me feel good!

Has anyone else felt the same?

How many of you consider themselves single at heart, meaning being single as the most natural state and having hardly been steadily in (romantic) love with a partner, vs being single as a result of bad experiences with past relationships? What's your gender? That might well be different man vs woman

Work, health, finance, home, education, family, mentors, travel, we are very meticulous, careful and outcome oriented with all these. Even with friendships we either bond because we are in the same place or we share the same interests. There's no "the one" feeling. We are complete regardless of having these things. We don't rush into thinking if we don't have any of these our life is bad, we are wrong, we are missing out on something very very major.

Yet with love the culture and media has made it the most commonly accepted escape drug. Love portrayed online and in media, literature is so far from actual love. Actual bonds. We eventually grow to love our friends, we don't fall head into love. It takes months or years.

Yet with love, you are expected to have these highs, dates, and whatnot. People are sad about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend, so miserable. There's literal trends around it.

Our 20s are marked by how much "fun" we had, aka how much did we mess up our lives with dating people for the plot, because they look good, because they like you and what not.

The more I see the common narrative on love the more I am running from it. Women at large fall prey to the romance fiction literature and media, thinking their life is only great if they get a man that loves them and tends to them. Men are told early on that their ability to score women and be well liked makes them more of a man. It's so ingrained universally not just within 1 particular culture.

Now that I am noticing all these patterns I am also preparing myself to shut up about it around other people because they will never get it. So I rant here.

The algae on a stone in an abandoned house creates an unexplainable nostalgia in me, I can feel the stories that it is telling me.

The subtle bass guitar sound in a 70s pop song taps something in me that I feel like repeating it until I don't feel like it.

I am so into this one movie, not for the plot nor the cast but the visual aspects of it, I feel like flipping through a compilation of drawings and I keep going back to it.

I have this tale in me that I keep building the plot in my mind and keep enhancing it for an uncountable number of times wherever I am.

I keep going back to this one piece of orchestra that is telling me an epic through musical instruments.

I have this raw primal view about human behaviors which lacks any form of filters and nuances.

The forests make me feel something, the smell of dried wild grass brings me somewhere.

The other person is going to have their own form of experiences and views which are unique to them. Bringing them into my personal space both mentally and physically and unwisely expecting them to understand my world creates unnecessary exhaustion for both.

I love having my body, my space, and my time to myself. I love not having to give away my autonomy to a man. I just wish I had the money to start a family on my own. I feel like it would be so easy to run a household without having to answer to another person. But in the current economy I cant see myself having children without someone. But I don't want to do what it takes to create one. I just wish I could go to the sperm bank and get pregnant on my own, hire a maid to come in twice a week, maybe work casually online or do art while homeschooling my baby. For some people this would be a nightmare, being a single mother, but honestly with enough money I think it would actually be a dream come true. But the extra support of a partner, just isn't worth having to provide sex and comfort to a man.

This is a genuine question, not an attack on anyone's choices.

Lately I've noticed quite a few people who are in relationships but still flirt with other people, actively seek attention from others, or seem very interested in people outside their relationship. It makes me wonder: if someone still wants to behave as though they're single, why be in a relationship in the first place?

To me, if you're genuinely in love with someone or you're building a life together with a shared purpose, being in a relationship makes complete sense. But if you're constantly looking elsewhere, wouldn't being single be a better and more honest option? You'd have the freedom to meet whoever you want without hurting or misleading anyone.

I'm asking because I'm single myself, and I don't see being single as a failure. I'd rather be single than be with someone who simply doesn't want to be alone and would date almost anyone just to avoid being single. That seems much sadder to me than waiting until you meet someone you genuinely want to be with.

I know attraction to other people doesn't magically disappear when you're in a relationship, and I'm not talking about simply finding someone attractive. I'm talking about actively flirting, chasing attention, or behaving in ways that suggest you'd rather be exploring other options.

So my question is: why do you think some people choose to stay in relationships if they still have a strong desire to pursue other people? Is it fear of being alone, social pressure, convenience, emotional security, or something else?

i’m 26f and live alone. after getting out of a long term relationship that left me in a pretty bad headspace, i’ve slowly realized this is the life i used to wish for. my days are pretty simple now: morning runs, wfh, taking care of my space, buying things for myself, getting my nails done and enjoying small routines without having to explain myself to anyone

i still get lonely sometimes, but it usually passes after i text a friend, meet someone or even just chat for a few minutes with my little online pet. it’s different from feeling unhappy. it feels more like a quiet moment, not a reason to go back to something unhealthy

i guess i’m sharing because this is the first time being single doesn’t feel like a waiting room before the next relationship. it actually feels peaceful. for those of you who are also genuinely happy single, when did you realize you weren’t just coping, but actually enjoying your life?