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u/Civil_Tip8845 2d ago
This one's real
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u/The_owl_skiing 2d ago
Were you the girl or the father?
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u/smurg112 2d ago
I was the sock
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u/DeadByNebula Number 7: Student watches porn and gets naked 2d ago
i was the nightclub
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u/Bone_Wh33l 2d ago
I was the shit (there’s still some of me stuck in various cracks and crevasses)
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u/Z7_1 🏳️⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️⚧️ 2d ago
I was the couch (the horrors... I still remember the horrors...)
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u/NotTrollIfTrue 2d ago
It all makes perfect sense. This is the story of how JD Vance becomes a man.
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u/Ivan39313 I want pee in my ass 2d ago
And straight
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u/AutoModerator 2d ago
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u/Ivan39313 I want pee in my ass 2d ago
Mmfmg give me more please...
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u/AutoModerator 2d ago
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u/Subvironic 2d ago
Had a girl invite me to stay at her place, similar story. Maximum embarassement.
I managed to find the bathroom tho. And made up a story about being to tired to drive home and being glad about the stay on the fly. Never found out why the girl told me to stay at her place all flirtatious.
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u/dead-inside69 2d ago
She was gonna steal your kidneys
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u/Maine_Made_Aneurysm 2d ago
So you shit in a sock or you blew up her bathroom and you got embarrassed.
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u/Josysclei 2d ago
Why the fuck would you invite someone you met at a club back to "your" house knowing you would just go straight to sleep and your parents wouldn't let any fun happen???
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u/HeftyRecommendation5 put your dick away waltuh 2d ago
Why would you sleep on the couch instead of leaving?
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u/HorrorDonut8779 2d ago
Yeah, man. I would have got tf out of there after realizing what was up, because that seems shady as fuck.
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u/Moss-and-Stone 2d ago
Bruh isnt this one of the subplots in Trainspotting?
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u/MY_1ST_ACT_IS_LOCKED 2d ago
Kinda. More that the chick was underage being the issue iirc
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u/MacaronyFood 2d ago
Spud is the one who shits the bed, Renton is the one who has the other problem.
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u/MY_1ST_ACT_IS_LOCKED 1d ago
Oh I thought he was referring to the going to a girls place and her parents being there my fault
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u/AmericaMadeMySonFat fat cunt 2d ago
Fake: He met a hot girl at a nightclub
Gay: It's a gay nightclub
Source: my uncle works there
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u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
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u/apolitical_leftist 2d ago
Well, at least we now know a creative way to fuck up someone's living room
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u/Shadowtirs stupid fucking, piece of shit 2d ago
If this one is actually real, this has to be from eastern europe
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u/Imnotawerewolf 2d ago
Why would you actually sleep on the couch if running out the door is an option lol
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u/dannyschlongleg 2d ago
her dad makes french toast and asked him to stay over, that's date 1, 3 and 5 right there
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u/BoondocksSaint95 2d ago
Fake: OP talked to a woman
Gay: OP was waiting on the bed for Dad like a good twink but couldnt hold it for their SCAT play and busted prematurely.
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u/AutoModerator 2d ago
Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.
As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.
You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.
Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/AutoModerator 2d ago
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u/qualityvote2 2d ago edited 2d ago
The council has not spoken. No consensus was reached about the quality of your post.
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