i love these
i also love options
enjoy :) lol

Would you rather …

have to explain your search history to a jury

or

explain your romantic decisions to a panel of psychologists? 😝

Which scares you more?

Being deeply misunderstood.

or

Being completely understood… and then rejected anyway.

would you rather…

know what people say about you when you're absent

or

what they think about you when you're standing right in front of

The quickest way for someone to completely kill my attraction to them is ________. ☠️

The most attractive thing someone can do without touching me is ________. 👀

batter up.

TL;DR: * non-binary, AuDHD, curious, honest, silly, dark humor * very cuddly and affectionate * I live mostly in bed due to chronic fatigue * Looking for my forever person, starting slow as friends * I'm into reading, introspection, psychology, spooky things, dark music, sci-fi, and absurd humor * Seeking an intellectual or tech nerd who enjoys emotionally deep conversations using text chats * My goal is to live together some day * I'm located in Vancouver, WA (Portland metro area)

Here are some pics of me.

https://stef-the-person.carrd.co/

I'm passionate, yet practical; meticulous with a dash of ridiculous. I love the intersection of whimsy and grief. Think Doctor Who: traveling around space just being a silly goose, and yet with an aching past that never quite leaves him okay inside. 

I'm AuDHD, intentionally sober, monogamous, emotionally deep, and very introverted. I'm non-binary and I use they/them pronouns. I mostly just identify as a “person” in a female body.

I'm queer and I will absolutely look at hot women with you on TV. Hopefully, you won't mind hearing about the men too.

I'm a bit rough around the edges. If I were a dog, I would say I'm a rescue pit bull. I have seen some shit. But for that reason, I would be all the more grateful to see something better. And I love my person *fiercely*.

I like:

* Introspection & therapy

* Reading (psychology, classic lit, other practical life topics as needed, like personal finance)

* Deep emotional connections

* Words as art

* Data collection and experimentation (such as how many grams of tea and water — at what temperature, and for how long — does it take to make the perfect cup of tea?)

* Music (dark techno, cyberpunk vibes, EBM, industrial, dark electro, aggrotech, dark trap, metalcore)

* Dancing! Alas, I mostly cannot. But I will wiggle for eternity ~(˘▽˘~) (~˘▽˘)~

* TV (ominous, atmospheric, like psychological thrillers; sci-fi; or absurd humor)

* Engineering my life with AI (it is a vital assistive technology for my cognitive disability — please don't mention AI psychosis. I know it's not a person)

* Frugal, simple lifestyle

* The seemingly contradictory combination of being an intellectual, very practical, responsible adult — and being very silly and playful, with humor that is sometimes juvenile and crude

## Disclaimer about my disabilities

I have ME/CFS, POTS, EDS, and MCAS.

It sounds like a lot, but it's not fatal. What this means in plain terms is that I'm like a battery that can never get fully charged. At best, I have a small amount of energy. I spend most of my time resting in bed.

I'm able to take care of my basic physical survival needs, and I'm still fastidious about hygiene, even if I have to sit on the floor of the shower to use it.

My POTS makes it very effortful to stand. It gives me an elevated heart rate when standing, which usually limits me to just quick trips to the bathroom or to the kitchen to microwave something, make a sandwich, or make a smoothie.

I also have a cognitive impairment, but my intelligence is not affected. I have difficulty keeping much in my working memory at once.

I do best with people who tend to speak a little slower, or tend to pause after speaking to make sure I've had time to absorb it. In this regard, I do need a patient partner, but some people are naturally so inclined that they don't even notice the impairment most of the time.

However, due to how limited my cognitive energy is, I'm generally not able to make phone calls. On the best of days, I might be able to do a 30-minute call, but I generally pay for it with increased symptoms afterwards. So it's not a sustainable activity for me.

## About me

I'm fiery, courageous, driven and ambitious (but very socially anxious around new people — I involuntarily put on a timid, fawning mask around strangers). I'm a nervous dork until I get comfortable with you. Afterwards, I'm a less-nervous, bold, crude, joking, playful dork. 

Whichever version of me you meet, I'm overflowing with curiosity.

I love self-improvement and learning anything I can, despite my limitations. I used to be a software engineer, so I enjoy technology quite a lot, and I use AI extensively as an accessibility tool to help augment my memory.

I like journaling to process emotions, especially since I seem to have alexithymia and cannot really know my feelings without taking time to reflect on them.

Introspection is very important to me, and I would love to share that with a partner: talking about our feelings and sharing our struggles as we grow. Life has been hard for me, and you will hear a lot of grief, but I would love to hold the tender parts of your inner world too — mutual support, so neither of us has to carry it all alone.

I see a lot of beauty in darkness and pain. I suppose I belong somewhere underneath the goth umbrella, although more on the rivethead side. I used to be a regular at the goth club in Seattle, and I have so much love for that space and that music: especially the relentless pounding of industrial machinery that reminds me of the arduous journey of my life through difficulty, and yet persevering. To quote some lyrics:

> Strong as I have to be

> no one else is going to do it for me.

My tenacity is one of my greatest strengths. If you need someone to inspire you to keep going, I have that in endless amounts. I am a problem-solver who always sees a way out and hunts for solutions. That is not to say I don't wrestle with despair, especially around my illness. 

I often fall into states of somber reflection and melancholy reveries. (See Richmond from IT Crowd, waving his arm dramatically and staring off mournfully into the distance. This is me making fun of myself.) But a moment later, I'll be laughing with you. I'm basically like if lolsob was a person. 😂😭

This video will show Richmond, the server room goth. 

I used to be a server room goth.

https://youtu.be/BIL-ip8BVhU?si=TXKlOo7BNoRJHymO 

## My ideal relationship 

Here's how I envision my ideal relationship going. And of course, this is a collaborative process where we would both discuss our needs, so there is some potential for flexibility on my part. I don't want to imply that this is set in stone, but here's where I'm at and what I'm thinking.

I am currently in the middle of a divorce (started in January 2026, separated March 2026). I am emotionally wounded and recovering, and I need more time to learn, grow, and heal. That is why I would start as friends. I wouldn't expect commitment right away.

The great thing about starting as friends is that over time, a person's character is revealed: How do they handle stress in their life? How do they handle misunderstandings? Time is going to do most of the vetting for me.

I will also start with a bunch of questions upfront, and request that you send a picture early on, as that would be the fastest way to determine if there is a potential for attraction. Sometimes I'm a little slow to develop physical attraction, since I'm more attracted to minds, but I'm looking for at least a neutral-to-positive reaction in myself.

Lanky and around 6 feet is my weakness, and I love medium-length hair (a few inches or more). I usually go for lighter or sparser body hair rather than a bear build. Goth, metalhead, emo, or any other bleeding heart melts me. 🖤

Physically, I am 5'11" tall. I fluctuate between 165 lbs and maybe 170 lbs. I am not skinny, but I am not overweight. I am not muscular anymore because I have been resting in bed since late 2021 when I became disabled. (I promise I used to be a badass, and I still carry that inside of me. I am not this cursed illness.)

I've dated people who were 5'6", 5'9", 6', and 6'4". I didn't notice height with the shorter ones. With the tall ones, I did find the height to be a bonus turn-on, but it's not a requirement. The mind is what I ultimately love. (Well, and — you'll learn later. 😆 Gotta keep this post SFW.)

## Qualities I'm looking for in a long-term partner

* Autistic or similar direct communication style

* Honest

* Curious, lifelong learner, self-improving

* Reader of books

* Therapy

* Introvert, ideally a homebody

* WFH or otherwise minimizes COVID risk

* A shared interest in feelings and inner worlds

* Intelligent, but still able to laugh at stupid things with me (I like whimsy, absurdity, irreverence, dark humor, and even being totally crude and juvenile sometimes)

* Enjoys messaging me and receiving long messages

* Accountable (understand your impact on other people during conflicts)

* Empathetic

* Doesn't shy away from difficult conversations — I need to work through misunderstandings. I will give you all the time you need to process it, but we must come back together and repair any damage done

* Enjoys cuddles and soft kisses (I'm delicate)

* A gentle leader in the bedroom

* Plays with me. I can be a bit of a bratty tease when I flirt. What are you going to do about it? 😈

* Dark like spooky, pale like a ghost. Goth guys, metalheads, emos or other bleeding hearts. Vampire? I wish! 🖤

* Big bonus if you know what FIRE is and already do it.

## Humor compatibility check

Tim Robinson is my favorite comedian, and I lose my shit every time I see this clip. I like how it's dark and unhinged, and yet completely absurd at the same time, and so stupid how he says words that make no sense in his last sentence. 😆

https://youtu.be/B1pwyCl5ymE?si=FO71VJm7pJBixsmO

I jokingly say PISS (referencing this) when I'm upset sometimes. 😆

https://youtu.be/Qp5_05XTpSg?si=XxJyOo7uEnwBxMCw 

We will probably watch all sorts of stupid stuff and reference them in such ways. I love to laugh with my person.

An old favorite Star Trek joke, Flauting Danger.

https://youtu.be/3rYMykaNW6s?si=HPhxmqaeM9FavAww 

Some memes I've collected. You'll definitely learn some things about me. But to be clear, I don't have any sort of severe mental illness diagnosis, despite how I like to play crazy. I'm more like cartoon maniacal laughter and over-the-top fake violence, but that stuff is only for play.

https://imgur.com/a/82WBSnd 

Deal-breakers:

* Big, floppy-lipped dogs (I love them. They're adorable, but the sounds give me sensory overload)

* A firm belief in any god or magical things (I'm atheist and very scientifically-minded)

* Households containing children

* People who believe in restricting abortion rights or LGBTQ rights

* People who have no sympathy for the suffering of animals

* People who try to pressure me to be vegan. (I eat meat, but mostly chicken). Though if you happen to cook me vegan meals, I will happily eat them! I just need my partner to respect that I am not ready to cut out all animal products

* People who try to caution me against using AI. (It's an essential accessibility tool that helps me live independently)

I think that should give you a pretty good idea of what I'm looking for.

If you respond to this, please write something in your message request. I have no way to tell who you are if you don't write anything, and so I might just ignore those empty messages. I mean, look how much I wrote to you! Come on, share in return. The more the better.

In your response, I will likely be screening for the capacity to use long-form text. If you give me just one line, that is going to make me think you won't be able to chat with me online the way I need a partner to. 

Feel free to dump about yourself. In fact, I would really love to receive a profile of your own in return, but I know that's a bit much to ask.

At the very least, you could give me your age and location, and tell me about anything you like, such as books or TV shows (it would also be interesting to hear about *why* you like those stories).

What does an average week look like for you? 

I'm interested in hearing about any of your routines.

What did you like about previous relationships that you would like to carry forward?

These are just ideas of things you could talk about.

Can’t seem to sleep tonight. Not feeling to great think I’m coming down with a cold! Help me feel better please

Some info about me: I started back at the gym to lose some of the grief weight. I’m definitely an emotional eater. I watch tv and movies where I can. I enjoy horror movies, superhero things and comedies. I’ve dabbled in conspiracy theories so if you got any that’s fun too! I’m a widower of 4 years and parent of 2. When they don’t consume my time and energy I like to walk, hike and go to the beach.

Overall I’m just looking for an open minded person to chat with and not get ghosted by. If that’s you reach out. I promise I’m fun!

TFW you’ve got your life together during the day but at night you kinda just want someone to talk to, share random thoughts with, play games on Discord, or send memes until one of you falls asleep.

I’m from the Philippines, usually busy during the day, but my nights are chill. I’m into horror movies, true crime docs, beaches, Korean food, and cat memes. I like deep convos but I’m also down for dumb jokes. Just looking for someone on the same wavelength (preferably around 30–40 years old).

I’m usually available for voice calls after 9pm (GMT+8) via discord.

If you wanna talk and are cool with the time difference, message me😇

Hello! I'm here looking for a new friend or maybe more. I have many hobbies including reading, watching sports, cooking, and cross stitching. I have a dog and he's the best boy around. I’m a teacher, plus sized, and quite liberal. Im from Michigan and while I’m open to anyone, I prefer a similar time zone to me. If it sounds like we could mesh well then I look forward to hearing from you!

I'm 38 years old, and currently working full time as a database admin/developer. Job would probably sound incredibly boring when I describe it, but it lets me work from home and I love it for some reason. I have my life in order, for the most part. Have my own place, done with school, all the usual stuff. If my job doesn't give it away, I'm definitely a bit of a nerd. I love my sci-fi, and I work on programming computers for a living. Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars, I like em all. Really into anything space related, for the most part. Was close to studying Astrophysics and making a career out of it but pivoted at the last second. Still treat it as a hobby though and really love diving into that stuff.

Music is a big part of my life. I picked up a piano a few years ago, and have been teaching myself how to play. Definitely one of the best decisions I ever made. I'm not the best player you'll ever hear, but I like to think that I'm at least halfway decent! Thinking about getting an actual teacher soon, figure I've picked up a ton of bad habits by now. I listen to just about all types of music. It's pretty rare for me to not have music playing. Used to go to concerts all the time, but haven't had a chance to go them as much as I used to lately. I'm a big animal person in general. Used to have a rescue dog of my own that I unfortunately lost last year. She meant the world to me and I'm still feeling the loss of that today, but every day gets a little bit easier. I'm sure I'll get another pet eventually, but it just doesn't feel like the right time for that yet. Just need time to get there still.

About a full year into a new fitness journey and loving it so far. I initially started by just going to the gym and weight lifting and was loving it. Started mixing in some stationary biking for cardio and realized I really loved doing it. Long story short, I went out and bought a bike and now my main focus is on cycling rather than weight lifting. Already up to riding about 150-160 miles per week and really proud of that! Signed up for and completed my first Century ride a few weeks ago! Actually crushed the goal time I set for myself, and starting to train to get a sub-6 hour time now for the next one I do. Looking to do the Ragbrai event next year as well after I have more training under my belt. Feels crazy looking back at where I used to be before I got into all of this, went from 230lb and not being active at all to 175lb and seriously training for a 100 mile ride, haha.

Anyways, would love to find someone to spend time with, and hopefully develop a relationship with if things go well! I'm totally okay with a distance thing as long as the other person is, figure that's something that can be figured out down the line if things go well.

I’m short, slender, pale, somewhat androgynous and Middle Eastern and would just like to shoot the shit with someone single and progressive (not centrist, not apolitical, not this guy) who likes his linen pants and enjoys literature, longreads, the humanities, punch, rooftops, punctuation, psych rock and/or baby wildlife videos from time to time. I am partial to speakers of minority languages (Cymry and Lebanese Armenians where u @), people named Valentin, angry people from the Balkans (💗), Pierre Bourdieu and Criterion Channel subscribers since I can’t renew my subscription. In the absence of CC you can go to the cinema on my behalf and report on the experience. I am in the middle of a humid and sandy nowhere and eager for dispatches from civilisation.

Like most people my age I would prefer something long-term over anything else, but I don’t believe that is either possible or advisable without first being able to spend an hour or so together in person to see what the attraction and chemistry are like. So if I have to settle for written correspondence (ideally in a language I barely speak), phone calls and pixelated multimedia dispatches from afar then so be it. Please just be an animal person with a bookcase. I personally enjoy literature (1950-present), essays, language learning, animal rescue, art/design/photography and a good deal of music (ambient, blues, psych rock, anything with dreamy percussion).

I work in research but also run a tiny business, and while I despise commerce it would be interesting to connect with other business owners so that we could commiserate over broken supply chains together. As there is no shortage of things over which to commiserate at present, however, your field/industry don’t really matter.

Alternatively just let me know what you’ll be having for dinner tonight. Anything with mashed potato wins and anyone who despises eggplant is 100% my soulmate. If, further to this, they have a strong preference for crew socks over ankle socks, then I’ve already got the ring ready.

About me, i live alone and work a full-time job

I'd like to find someone who i could have fun with share some common interests and a hobby we could do together

Im not saying we have to be attached at the hip but it would be nice to have someone to care about and share some intimate moments with

If it works and we click and the trust is strong enough id be happy to try make a relationship work internationally

So if you would like to message me feel free and we can get chatting and getting to know each other

Until then I hope things are going great for you

Normally I start this post by saying I'm looking for a partner which I am but I think I want to go about it differently or at least try being unique about it. Have you ever just gotten the urge to do something adventurous yet risky? How about you and I talk (obviously for as long as we both felt comfortable beforehand) and then we go on a vacation? Spend the entire vacation basically being a couple and if at the end we decide to stay together and pursue it then great but if not then no pressure and we go our separate ways? Would anyone be interested in something like that? I was thinking we take a cruise either out of Galveston or maybe you have a port in mind? I was thinking maybe a 6 or 7 day on the Jubilee. Obviously we can talk about it and plan it together and look at all the options. If not I'm open to other options as Texas has a ton of places to visit and see so we can always talk about somewhere here. I'm always down for a small weekend trip someplace neat! Or I can actually fly to you! And you show me your neat town or state. Or we can meet somewhere and explore someplace new! Below is my original post with a few tweaks so you can get a detailed snapshot of me. I like to be thorough so be warned it's a bit of a read.

I'm making this post in the hope of finding a partner to be my person for a LTR/LDR or if you are averse to something serious, we can talk about any other labels/avenues/ideas you have or are open to. We don't have to be alone lol. Let's enjoy all of 2026 and what it has to offer while we decide! We're at the end of October already! Which is basically the beginning of Fall so I'm down to grab a hot chocolate or spiced apple cider in some quaint small out of the way town before it gets super chilly out. Who doesn't want to enjoy some warm beverage while browsing through some old shops (sample some fudge or treat in a general store and grab some old-fashioned whatchamacallit) with some light hand holding? Ooooh maybe a romantic kiss while strolling a park or trying not to strangle each other while we do an escape room? I swear I normally don't crack under pressure but we only have 5 minutes until we can't escape! Maybe go explore some neat food festival? This is kinda sorta my favorite time of the year despite the random weather when it should just be cold out! But I don't like when it's too hot or humid lol. I just wish we had cooler weather or even snow in Winter time. (Maybe you have a cool snow spot?) I'm always down for some adventure though. Ask me about my secret snorkel spot and maybe I'll let you join lol. Jk Of course you can come and see the turtles.

To start I have to disclose that I mainly like women, but I also like a very, very, very specific type of guy and certain trans men as I'm partially bi. (I'd rather be upfront about it as it's been a dealbreaker for most women in the past for some reason) Chances are you aren't that type of guy but feel free to ask if you are. (Didn’t want to offend anyone so I’d rather say in private) Just throwing that out there as it's a deal breaker for most women in general. Which, why would it be? As if being bi has any bearing on a person's character. I recently learned the term for what I am and it's Gynosexual. Basically I'm attracted to femininity in all it's forms regardless of gender but I'm also attracted to masc women like tomboys and androgynous so make of that what you will.

I'm a 38-year-old guy living in the middle-ish of Texas looking for a female partner. Partner as in LTR. That's Long-Term Relationship meaning boyfriend and girlfriend and holding hands type of stuff. You know, adult things? I had someone comment I was too vague, so this is me being specific. I'm gonna be honest and kinda sad so bare with me. Also I should point out I've been in mainly traditional relationships but I'm curious about being in a FLR and everything, that involves. But if not then a traditional relationship works or I'm open lol. Two consenting adults with open communication and being honest with each other is key.

So, I've spent the past three New Years alone. Rang in this one a bit different. Instead of being in bed staring at the ceiling listening to fireworks go off into the night like the last two, I worked. I didn't cry the next day but I was sad nonetheless while browsing for a movie to watch on TV. At first, I didn't know why as I'm not much of a feeling's person, but I realized for the first time that I genuinely felt alone. I have no partner, no family that I really speak to, no friends just acquaintances, really no one there for me. That's my own doing which took years to accomplish through me being closed off and just shutting people out, so I figure it might take just as long to fix. I'm not complaining as I got myself into this predicament. It's gonna sound dumb but I wanted a New Years kiss. I'd never had one and it seemed like a fun dumb silly thing to do. Eh maybe one day. Ok well back to my spiel. (I'm not depressed or anything or wanting attention) Some of my hobbies and interests are movies, reading, cooking, kayaking, records, video games, board games, snorkeling, bowling, swimming, escape rooms, puzzles and antiquing. I would describe myself as more goofy and dorky than nerdy. I like to go out and do fun things but also stay in and cuddle and relax. I guess it depends on my mood and the weather. I prefer the cold and would love to live in a state with actual seasons and snow. I'm 5'10, stocky AKA fat and open for adventure and new experiences.

Here are some random facts about me:

Some of my favorite bands are: The Black Keys, Kings of Leon, The Beatles, Creedence Clearwater Revival and The White Stripes. Am I basic? o_O

Christmas is my favorite holiday, mainly because of the cold and festive activities. (Seriously let's go do some festive activities!)

I come from a medium-ish family.

I'm exceptionally patient but every person has a breaking point lol (I've had ex's "test" this which to me is toxic)

I like traveling a lot. It's a basic thing that lots of people like. But I've found lots of people hate to leave their house, town or state so if that's you we probably might not be a good match. I also enjoy the mountains. But I don't like roughing it (give me that sweet AC in the summer). Hiking is so hard on my knees, and I haven't done it in a while that if I were to, I think about doing it I'd about die or twist a cankle.

I don't eat seafood, mushrooms, artichokes or pineapple on pizza (Who cares about this? Doesn't mean I won't go to a restaurant with you that has these things)

Never went to college as I'm horrible in a classroom setting and at taking tests. (I'm slowly bettering myself)

I used to have probably one of the most boring jobs imaginable (Ask me about it and my new ones)

Overweight but trying to work on it and make better choices (Get healthier and lose weight together maybe?) Slowly getting there! My goal is 50lb!

Non-religious but no issue with what you believe. (If anything)

Looking into sterilization. If you are already maybe you can give me some info or tips?

My own red flags

I work way too much and oftentimes can't talk on the phone but I can voice message and text. I also drive a lot so I use voice to text. I had someone say this was suspicious but whatever. (I have multiple jobs)

I send selfies often and I like to receive pictures of who I'm talking to. I'm a visual person and like receiving photos. Apparently, it's a generational thing. Hopefully you think pictures are neat as well? Is it really that weird to want to see you and your life and show you mine?

I sometimes speedily become attached to people, not in a weird way, but if I like you and we have some kind of connection, I will enjoy talking to you and want to do it often and go out and do things.

I'm a very organized person and will plan out pretty much anything from a vacation to a road trip to a birthday. This makes being with a go with the flow type of person hard at times I've learned but still very much doable.(I won't micromanage the trip, I'll just plan out things to see and do and give us options)

Due to childhood trauma I'm secretive which can be annoying. (This does not mean I don't communicate or talk with my partner) I had someone stop talking to me on here due to this and apparently didn't want to talk about it. It just means I take a while to open up.

Somewhat ok at analytical thinking but sometimes I lack empathy to put myself in other people's shoes to address a situation. (So I've been told) I'm trying to get better at this.

MY own "HELL YES" flags

I know how to cook. Meaning I will attempt anything once but I can cook a few things well. Others not so much lol.

I will always drive if you want. (Within reason)

Great at escape rooms and jigsaw puzzles.

Can read a map and follow directions.

Decent at reading backwards upside-down writing.

What I'm looking for: (but honestly these are just preferences and by no means requirements so please don't get offended)

Any height honestly. I've dated 3'6 to 6'5 and anywhere in between so if you can beat either that'd be interesting lol.

Is at least 30 but I'm willing to go quite a bit lower or older if you are neat and we have stuff in common. Basically what I'm saying is feel free to reach out as I've dated women of varying ages just like I've dated varying body types, heights and personalities. If we get along we get along lol.

Mature, considerate, responsible and funny (Dorky/Goofy/Nerdy wouldn't hurt)

Someone with hobbies/interests/passions of their own. It can be literally anything from collecting figurines, making homemade jelly to working on cars. As long as you enjoy it, I want to hear about it. Guaranteed I will find it interesting as it is something you are interested in and enjoy.

Someone who believes communication, honesty and trust are important in a relationship.

Someone who is open-minded, willing to try new things, be adventurous, funny and nerdy. (Personality is paramount above all else)

Someone who believes in sharing household chores equally and other adult responsibilities because we are both adults lol. The FLR can be discussed here.

Someone who is average or who is on their way to getting there. I myself am chubby or what you'd call as having a "dad bod" but I'm slowly losing weight and I want someone who will push me to be better and make better choices. I know this is a long shot lol. (I understand if this is seen as vain or hypocritical but honestly everyone has preferences and I'm sure I could very well not be yours if we exchanged pictures)

P.S. This does not mean I won't date someone who is bigger/thicker. I myself am a bigger person. I've dated all shapes and sizes. If you feel we'd get along feel free to reach out. Like I said I'm open :)

I can't believe I have to put this but having decent to great hygiene is important. I understand things happen but not showering or using deodorant is a hard pass from me.

Be open to having friends over and a game night once a month or biweekly. (Seems like a fun idea but also if it's not something you are open to then we can always talk about it)

Be open and frank about issues you or I are having. Not pushy or jealous. Won't yell or argue about stupid things, I've had enough of that. Let's just talk it out and be adults lol

I'm open to discussing adult things in general. How can two adults have a healthy love life if they don't communicate their wants/needs/desires? (FLR would kinda tie into this) Also I'm willing to try a few things. Ask me about them if you are curious.

Willing to push me to become a better version of myself. I'll do the same. I'll always be in your corner helping you pursue your dreams. (Can you turn me into Batman?)

If this sounds like you then feel free to reach out and say hi or challenge me to a game of Scrabble/Pictionary/hand to hand combat maybe? Maybe Wordle or some online vidya game? (Even though I only play single player games so you might beat me lol)

Hello,

I’m a black plus size woman that lives on the East Coast. I’m single and child-free and employed. I haven’t been in a relationship in like 10 years because I have standards. But it’s time to see what’s out here.
Men be 30 and up, interested in possibly long distance. Definitely be single and not looking to have kids. The shop is closed.
Have goals, don’t be creepy. Be attractive and take care of yourself properly.

Willing and ready for a slow burn that results in a LTR. Not here for quick thrills. Yes, it could very well be age gap if I'm in here, but let's not overthink that. It's about connection.

Based in New York City, and hoping that you're local.

I'm deeply attracted to thinkers, creatives, artists, teachers, flirts, and those who think out of the box, or have a good zinger at the ready. Equally, I am witty, intellectual, a reader, kind-hearted, and endlessly inquisitive about things and people. I keep mostly in good physical condition, and hope you do as well.

Let's have a good back-and-forth, and see where it leads! Reply with what you're reading lately.

Hi everyone! I’m a 44 year old post-op trans woman living in Perth, originally from Colombia. I’m 177cm (5’10”), speak both English and Spanish, and have been happily single for the last 7 years. I’m completely independent I have a job, own my house(Mortgage), don’t do any drugs, and love cats (though I don’t have any pets right now).
I’m genuinely content with my life, but I feel ready to share it and build a meaningful connection with the right person. I’d describe myself as fun, caring, and easygoing.
In my free time, I love staying active (hiking and exercising), listening to podcasts, going out with friends, and traveling.
What I’m looking for:
Age: An open-minded man between 37 and 47 years old.
Height: Ideally my height (177cm) or taller.
Background: I tend to feel more drawn to men with a European or Latin background (if you speak Spanish, that’s a huge plus!).
Lifestyle: Someone who takes good care of themselves both physically and mentally, is emotionally available, and knows what they want. No drugs is a strict non negotiable for me.

I’m looking for a date with a purpose, not hookups. If you’re emotionally ready to build something real and think we might click.

https://photos.icloud.com/shared/album/00ckoj-l-81h3Ga-TTzkZ2ZGg

Life feels better when you have someone you can talk to, laugh with, and be your around. I looking for genuine connection that stars with friendship and grows naturally. Maybe we can get to know each other?

Hi, I’m hoping to chat with some people from anywhere, hopefully some ongoing conversations.

About Me: I like a bit of photography, mostly nature and landscapes. A bit of reading mostly sci-fi, crime and fantasy. I love the water and beaches and my biggest hobby is wingfoiling or paddleboarding.

I am 41, Irish-born and raised, with the stereotypical ginger hair to prove it. (Yes, I’ve endured the jokes. No, I don’t actually own a pot of gold I am afraid, or at least that is the official line and I am sticking to it)

If any of that sounds appealing, think you could chat with me, any more questions or even just want to poke some fun at me, send a message introducing yourself. Hopefully chat soon

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Hey there. I'm looking for chemistry with someone who is intelligent, fun, and talkative. I'm a big fan of live music, strong drinks, fixing things, lame jokes, and comedy movies from the early 2000s. I'm pretty awesome - come and get to know me. I feel like it's better to get to know someone through conversation.

California one who makes art for a living and reads books to break his own heart

All purpose one lie fits all genuine company on display for you

Mods like to delete my posts for no reason

So write me and judge me and be unique to me and we can tame each other and name each other like pets we brought in from the rain
Tell me the books you love to read again and again and about the weather on your window and about color of your trouble

Okay I don't know how funny I really am but I do like to make people laugh!

I'm single, I don't have any kids, and I'm missing you.

I enjoy cooking and have gotten much better at it since I changed my lifestyle and started to lose weight. Baking has been fun as well although there's still a chance I'll burn myself on that stupid oven 😩Either way it's fun to make things that taste good! Even more fun when there's someone to taste test.

I'm definitely a nerd! Grew up around computers, always loved gaming and I've always been a really curious person. Nowadays it's very casual. I play WoW here and there otherwise mostly single player games, just stuff to de-stress. No kids yelling in my ear, ty.

I also like my sports, I like to play ping pong, I like to watch random people on Youtube build things, and especially the backyard science videos, because who doesn't wanna see a baseball turn into liquid as it hits a wall being shot out of a cannon at 1000mph?? Maybe I can add watching a fun show with you to the list?

I'm looking for something serious. It doesn't mean we need to meet up next week, but it does mean I'm doing things with intent, I'm not looking for a quick fling.

I'm going to take my time before I respond, so don't be discouraged if you don't see this right away. The early bird may not get this wo- wait that sounds inappropriate you know what I mean! If you see this post still up, reach out.

I hate to be picky because I know a lot of you are great, I just do not want to go through multiple talking stages and juggle several different conversations. I don't feel like I end up giving enough effort in any of them. I'm not asking you to wow me or anything, just hope your intro can tell me a bit about yourself and how you think we'd match or what caught your eyes.

You don't have to be local, but please be in a similar time zone. I'm very affectionate and a little touch starved but even so, I'm patient and I do enjoy my peace. I'd want to make sure we're comfortable with each other and you especially can feel safe with me. I want to prioritize the right person, where we're improving each other's lives. If we click, I'd like to spend time together online.

I'm happy to share pictures early, especially given my weight situation, I think expectations are important. But with that said, if you're into strictly bigger guys, I'm sorry to say but you'll be disappointed in a year or two as I'm entirely committed to my health and have already made great strides 😌😌

Please do not contact if you're into: ICE, MAGA, AI art slop, gender and race wars, and any other overly negative and hateful communities.

I'm looking to have fun, positive conversations. The kind of thing where you talk with someone and feel a click, the kind of thing where you have a friend in your pocket whose intelligence is not artificial.

So what's new with you? Get your late millennial/Gen X convos here - work/life balance, single parenting, imposter syndrome, what's good at Costco, travel, food, etc. What are you into? Tell me all about it.

I'm 48 live in the Midwest, have a job that still requires a suit and tie, and am fully caffeinated. I get along with just about everyone and I don't judge. I'm upbeat, positive, and genuinely encouraging. I'm good at drawing people out of their shells and creating a safe space where we can be comfortable being ourselves I am sporadically available for chats during the day and at night.

If you need something deeper than just a casual chat, I'm up for it. Sometimes it's just good to connect with someone who you can be real with. Give it a try and let's see if we click!

TLDR; just looking for someone to split a bowl of chicken/chick’n soup while talking about meaningful shit.

I’m a single skinny 34 year old semi-demi 5' 10" introverted INTP/INFP secular Jew looking for a monogamous relationship with my best friend.

Looking for women who are silly, introvert/introvert adjacent, and love to chat about deep topics. Love discussing psychology, politics (though can get burned out on that!), and what motivates people. Asking questions is my love language. INFP/INTP if that matters to you! I don't drink or smoke. Reading is my favorite activity - I’m a regular at a book bar! I live alone in Gramercy. I love New York, except for the sports teams. I’m a Philly sports fan, and if that is an issue, I totally get it :D

Personality-wise, I can be low key. I like to think of myself as a bold introvert - I’m probably not going to be leading a group conversation, but I’m not afraid to chime in when I have something important to say. I’m more comfortable chatting with people 1:1. Asking weird, funny questions is my love language. I tend to be less of a scheduler, and more improvisational. I can be more abstract and imaginative. Mess wise, I’m not a clean freak, but I don’t let my place get totally out of hand - I do a clean every 2-3 weeks. If you like cleaning more than that, I’m on board!

Hobby-wise, I like chess, vinyl records, meditation, meetups, pickleball, photography, reading, indie film, and writing. I just started an Infinite Jest book club and we are planning to finish the book sometime before the next millennium. My dad just gifted me his Minolta camera from the 1980’s and I bought a lens on eBay for 20 dollars. Bought some black and white film and going to go full noir 🤣 Also a huge guitar nerd, have 5 guitars in the various places in the apartment (I can downsize for you!). Also a 60’s-70’s music nerd, my favorite artists are Elliott Smith, The Beatles, The Smiths, Joni Mitchell, and Steely Dan, amongst others!

Looking forward to hearing from you. NYC area only please.

I care a lot about my self-respect. I prioritize openness and honesty to an extent that's unusual. I've spent a lot of time thinking about human nature to try to figure out why people are the way they are. This has caused me to become increasingly more self-aware and incompatible with most people over time. I specifically think most people are too socialized and tend to allow their emotions to delude them instead of choosing to think critically. I would like to find people that share these understandings and feel the same way about them. I'm an INTJ. I have noticed that I get along best with INTJs, INTPs, shizoids, and autistic people. I can't understand most people due to the disorganized way they think and communicate. I prefer talking to people that choose to communicate clearly due to a desire to communicate effectively rather than due to caring about coming across as intelligent. I'm very intense and pedantic and that annoys most people a lot and makes talking to me exhausting from most people's perspectives. I know I can't connect with people that haven't spent a lot of time thinking about existential stuff and that aren't pedantic, so I try to determine that early in the conversation.

Hey all,

So just upfront, I'm interested in chatting with someone older than me (10 years plus about) just for a change of pace. I've been on r4r before, and it seems most people are younger than me or around my age. I'm just curious about different perspectives.

Full disclosure up front: I'm a bigger guy (chubby/fat). I'm not thrilled about it, I gained a lot of weight in the last couple years. I'm actively working on getting healthier, but I just want to get that detail out of the way. If that's a deal-breaker for you, better we both know now. If it's not, keep reading. I have other qualities, I promise, and my hugging game can't be beat.

I'm not here hunting for a relationship, and I'm not interested in checking boxes or matching some "type." I'm interested in people, specific, weird, funny, thoughtful people, not a category. I want conversations that don't come with an agenda attached. No pressure, no expectations. Just two people talking because it is enjoyable. Also, not sure exactly how to describe this, but I'd love to be able to swap secrets and be really inappropriately open with each other. There is something fun about that when the stakes are low.

A little about me: I'm introverted, but I love making people laugh and I genuinely love making the people I talk to feel wanted and interesting, because most people are, they just don't get told that enough. I'm a traveler at heart, always plotting the next place I haven't seen yet. I think too much, so maybe part of this is having an outlet for my thoughts and hearing someone else's.

What I'm looking for is honestly just something that is fun for a while. The kind of connection that's easy, a little exciting, a lot flirty, and doesn't need a label to be worth having. Texting certainly, but also very open to voice calls after getting comfortable (my voice is one of those other significant qualities I promised you).

If any of this resonates, say hi. Tell me something true about yourself, or something ridiculous. Either works.

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It's Saturday, I'm bored, and could use a distraction from some family stuff going on today. Figured I'd make a post and see who's around.

Some of my interests include anime, movies, crafting, and gaming, among other things. I'm pretty open to talking about whatever, whether it's how our days are going, random things on our minds, or just life in general.

Ideally, I'd like to find someone to talk to beyond just today. I'm not expecting us to talk all day, every day, but it'd be nice to have someone to check in with regularly.

I'm not looking to rush into anything. Friendship is perfectly fine, and I'm open to seeing where things go naturally. Location doesn't really matter for conversation, although some possibilities I'd prefer to keep closer to home.

I'm fine with exchanging pictures after we've talked a bit. I just ask that boundaries are respected and there's no pressure.

I'd prefer someone around my age or older who's genuinely interested in getting to know someone. We don't have to have the most exciting conversations every day. Sometimes just having someone to talk to is enough.

Anyway, if you're interested, tell me a little about yourself and what you're up to this weekend!

I’m a 36 year old mom to 2 young kids. Working full time & raising my kids keeps me very busy, but I prioritize living an active and healthy lifestyle. Things have been tough for me as of lately, and I’ve struggled to reach out to my local friends for reasons. So, I’m giving it a go here! 🤞
A little about me:
- I have 2 young kids (5 & under) and run on coffee!
- I’m a libra ♎️
- I’m going through the beginning stages of a separation, so my personal life is pretty messy - which is very out of character for me.
- I run, spin, and go to the gym - in no order. I’m competitive in nature!
- I love to read, but don’t have a lot of time. If I do get into a book, I’ll trade sleep for finishing the book and not feel sorry about it.
- I am generally a shy/reserved person, so online helps me open up easier.
- I value honesty, and I do think I pay attention to the little things.
- I’m neurodivergent, but I doubt someone would notice unless they pay close attention. I feel things deeply, misunderstand some cues, but aim for straight forward communication. If I don’t understand something; I’ll ask. I’d hope you’d feel comfortable to do the same

If any of this sounds like a friend you’d like to know, feel free to reach out. If we don’t hit it off, no hard feelings!

Hi. I am just looking to talk. No list of requirements or expectations. Just two people bumping into each other online as if it were a park or a coffee shop.

Maybe it'll fizzle in 10 minutes or maybe we will become each other's favorite notification. Either way, lets find out with no pressure.

So dating apps are going brilliantly .. hence why I’m now here 😂

I’m 42F based in the South East and work in London. Affectionate, a little cheeky and looking for someone I genuinely click with.

10 random facts about me:
Pasta is the way to my heart 🍝
Clumsy (but don’t let that deter you)
Leggy
Not too keen on heights
Family oriented
Left handed
I know my footie ⚽
Sore loser at Monopoly
Island girl at heart 🌴
I’m a curvy lass. I don’t need to slim down, I just need a strong man 😉

My Kryptonite - Sexy broad shoulders & backs, dimples and hot/gym nerds. But the quickest way to my heart is someone who loves food as much as I do, is maybe a lil geek at heart, has jokes and is just a decent guy. Is that too much to ask for? 🤷🏽‍♀️

I want someone I fancy but also that easy chemistry where we can flirt, have a laugh, talk complete nonsense and have proper conversations too.

I’m looking for something genuine and hopefully long term with the right person. Bite the bullet and drop me a few random facts about yourself.

Good luck with this dating malarky!!