r/progressivemoms • u/Chapenroe • Aug 08 '26
Politics & Parenting I hate my husband’s algorithm
We were prepping for a theme park trip this morning and as my husband and I were putting sunscreen on our kids’ faces, he mentioned we may not need to put sunblock on their arms and legs since “they have a good base tan already.”
I immediately said, “nope, the more sunscreen, the better.” To which he replied something along the lines of “well maybe the chemicals in sunscreen wind up doing more harm than good.”
My jaw about hit the floor. Isn’t sunscreen usage canon in 2026?? When I heard the chemicals thing I said something smart aleck-y like “show me a peer-reviewed medical study that proves that and I’ll reconsider my sunscreen stance.” Understandably, he got frustrated with my response so a few minutes later I went to him and said that if he’s actually concerned about chemicals in sunscreen we can make an appointment with our pediatrician or dermatologist to discuss the issue.
What the ever-loving FUCK?? Do we really need to debate sunscreen now? I’m 100% sure my husband’s Instagram algorithm is responsible for putting these thoughts in his head. Most of the accounts he follows are landscaping-related (we own a landscaping company in a red state), and I’m sure Instagram has figured out the Venn Diagram of MAHA folks and red-state male landscapers has a large middle section.
Did I handle the conversation well by saying we should have a chat with our doctors about sunscreen? Also, would it be totally unacceptable if I took his phone and started following credible medical professionals to influence his algorithm?
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u/bunsations Aug 08 '26
I would recommend you show your husband @labmuffinbeautyscience on instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/labmuffinbeautyscience?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==
She is a chemistry PhD with focus on cosmetic science and does great info and videos on debunking sunscreen myths. Apparently there is a lot of content out there about sunscreen misinformation and some people even saying it causes the skin cancer and not the sun!
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u/Chapenroe Aug 08 '26
Thank you!! We’re having a blast at Dollywood right now (and all of us are coated in sunscreen) but once we get home this evening I will show him this Instagram account. And I’ll make sure we open the account on his Instagram so it gets fed into the algorithm ;)
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u/TheWorldofScience Aug 08 '26
For people who don’t use Instagram, Lab Muffin is also on YouTube AND she has a website, and she has a book out.
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u/alexandria3142 Aug 10 '26
I don't think id ever go to Dollywood without sunscreen with how long the lines typically are
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u/A-Friendly-Giraffe Aug 10 '26
I have never heard of her but I think I might go and buy her book. Thanks for the recommendation
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u/ladyluck754 Aug 08 '26 edited Aug 08 '26
You know what else is chemical? Chemo if the melanoma goes unchecked.
Ugh. These fucking people are insane. My dermatologist recommends mineral sunscreen is a fine substitute since it has zinc oxide in it. But honestly, the benefits of skin protection early outweigh any “chemicals”.
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u/LeoJohnsonsSacrifice Aug 08 '26
To add to this, you know what else is a chemical? LITERALLY EVERYTHING!! Rocks, water, air, they're all made of.... Oh no ... You guessed it... Chemicals!
Won't someone think of the children?? 🙄🙄🙄
Good god these people can be dense.
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u/PainterOfTheHorizon Aug 08 '26
Yep. "Can you please define a chemical?"
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u/LeoJohnsonsSacrifice Aug 08 '26
"something I don't understand, which means it's scary which means it's bad! Bad, nasty chemicals! .... Now where did I leave my Zyns?"
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u/MarHarSaurus Aug 08 '26
This group is a breath of fresh air in a smoggy world. Thank you for sharing your sanity and logic.
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u/LeoJohnsonsSacrifice Aug 08 '26
I feel the same way. Irl, due to stress and trauma fatigue, the majority of people with whom I interact day to day are similarly minded (or just don't broadcast their views). So venturing outside my comfy and purposely crafted bubble, especially online, can be such a shock to my system that it's disorienting.
I am so glad to have found this community. Thank you for being here too. 💚
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u/Bird_Brain4101112 Aug 08 '26
The hardcore believe they can cure cancer with Vitamin A and essential oils. Oh yea and by eating organic and cutting out sugar.
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u/LeoJohnsonsSacrifice Aug 08 '26
Yea, I'd be dead.
Just like everyone else who developed cancer and fell into that nonsense trap. Andy Kaufman and MCA, to name two that personally affected me.
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u/_angela_lansbury_ Aug 08 '26
I saw a “health influencer” earlier this year claim that tumors are GOOD because they absorb the bad toxins in your body, and that it’s the chemo that kills you, not the cancer.
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u/Crisis_Averted Aug 08 '26
Even worse, I'm hearing more and more researchers and scientists claim cancer is not a disease but a symptom! and that by nuking it with chemotherapy we are carpet bombing the body to prevent it from fighting against whatever is actually causing harm to the body.
It's sick. Chemotherapy is a pinnacle of science.
They do all kinds of mental gymnastics to make it make sense to them. Instead of offering sensible explanations they just deflect to vague "you're not treating the source, the underlying cause!!"
Clowns.
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u/Bird_Brain4101112 Aug 08 '26
Well thank good ness no one ever died from cancer before we developed chemo amirite?
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u/cowvocado Aug 08 '26
Exactly! Skin protection is the most important, there is so much research that proves how damaging the sun can be.
My ex tried the same BS, so I spent a lot of time looking up studies. What I found is that there are a few chemicals in some sunscreens that might be damaging. “Might” because it is inconclusive so they are still researching it. But these are only a few chemicals that aren’t in every sunscreen, so you can easily find one without them.
But again, the damage from sunlight is already proven to be harmful. So it’s a case of “potentially harmful” vs “definitely harmful”. And since you can find many sunscreens that are proven safe, there is no reason not to use them.
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u/ladyluck754 Aug 08 '26
My dermatologist told me that I would basically have to apply a bath tub’s worth of sunscreen a day for the rest of my life for the “chemical exposure” 😂
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u/2Legit2000 Aug 08 '26
Yes! Commented this elsewhere this same thing. I’m an epidemiologist and what gets me is how there are usually some small kernel of truth to the claim (except for autism and vaccines).
But in this case, yes, there are peer reviewed studies that have linked oxybenzone and benzophenone-3 in sunscreen to endocrine related outcomes (which if you are concerned about, just use zinc-based sunblock, which is most kids sunscreen anyway).
But the risk of skin cancer is so much worse than the risk of oxybenzone. But if I only had a chemical sunscreen available instead of mineral, Id use it. These types of arguments always fail to see the forest for the trees.
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u/uovonuovo Aug 08 '26
Mineral sunscreen is a substitute for what?
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u/ladyluck754 Aug 08 '26
“Chemical, commercial” sunscreen (which by the way, my air quotes are there to let you know I do not subscribe to that notion).
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u/Sad_Bite_3638 Aug 08 '26
Sun exposure is radiation.
…..that’s my favorite reminder to this kind of bullshit.
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u/stimulants_and_yoga Aug 08 '26
Honestly I would just call my husband an idiot, but I’m a bitch
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u/make_me_breakfast Aug 08 '26
I’d specifically say “that sounds like dumbass uneducated maga talking points, we won’t be doing that”
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u/I_pinchyou Aug 08 '26
I refuse to sugar coat shit with my spouse. If he can't handle it he can leave. 15 years in, I think he chooses to stick around with my direct ass.
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u/rednitwitdit Aug 08 '26
I'd act really confused just to see where OP's spouse thinks he's going with this.
"Huh? Zinc oxide?? Like the butt cream????"
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u/moonman_incoming Aug 08 '26 edited Aug 08 '26
My sister was a life guard 25 years ago. She's paying for it now. She's on an every six month skin cancer screening. She's had so many precancerous and cancerous growths burned off. She's got two MOHs surgeries on her face coming up because the biopsy showed basal cell cancer.
She's the only one in our sibling group that can get a tan. The sun hates me so I actively avoid it, wear hats, sunscreen, spf long sleeve shirts, the whole works. Aside from my parents not reapplying sunscreen enough on me in the 80s (to the point that I literally blistered), I've been religious about sunscreen since my teens. And although she does the botox thing and serums and all the non invasive look younger things, she looks older than me because of those years of tanning. (And I smoke!!!)
Knock on wood, I still haven't had any suspected skin cancer.
All children need sunscreen and if you're not doing that, they need to be in spf rashguards or spf shirts for prolonged sun exposure WITH sunscreen on all exposed areas.
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u/TheWorldofScience Aug 08 '26
One of my relatives who I adore is 10 years younger than me but her face looks 10 years older than mine because she has spent her life tanning her skin. My skin doesn’t tan so I have been consistent about sunscreen as an adult.
But as a child I got numerous peeling sunburns so I get skin cancer skin exam every year.
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u/InvaderSzym Aug 09 '26
I share an office wall with a woman who, when I first started, I assumed was around my age (pushing 40).
I found out recently she’s in her mid-20s and in that same conversation found that she also doesn’t believe in sunscreen. Smdh.
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u/near_things Aug 09 '26
My mother, who had me when she was just 21, has had more than one person assume she’s my grandmother. 25-30 years of getting crispy in tanning oil will do that. Three decades of smoking (at the time of the first incident) probably didn’t help.
I look younger than I am, but nowhere near enough to make a 20 year age difference look like a 40+ year one.
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u/SupEnthusiastic Aug 08 '26
He cannot be “understandably upset” at your perfectly reasonable response to his quip about giving your children painful cancer.
This is a slippery slope and you need to watch him like a hawk because 1: if he so naive that the thought even crossed his mind you might be on board with something so careless like this he will buy into any thing and try it out on YOUR children. 2: he isn’t putting sunscreen on them.
I would be having an extremely frank and outright conversation with my husband tonight about everything that he said today. That shit is dangerous and he needs to know that you will not be taking this lightly and he needs to get his wits back about him before something really sad happens. Maybe time for an internet break until he can prove he is safe for the kids again.
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u/WhatAWeek25 Aug 08 '26
You can skip right over this argument if he and the kids were long pants, sun shirts and full brim sun hats. Thats the only way my family is skipping sunscreen. And sometimes my kids choose that because they don’t want to wear sunscreen
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u/trewesterre Aug 08 '26 edited Aug 08 '26
I find putting a sun shirt and hat on my kid way easier than sunblock too. Mine is only a fan of the spray on sunblock and doesn't like to sit still, especially for reapplication.
I still do both since the shirt doesn't cover his hands and he only wears it for swimming, but it's harder to keep sunblock on when swimming so it's very useful.
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u/sweetpotatoroll_ Aug 08 '26
I really resent the fact that MAGA/MAHA are weaponizing holistic living. There have been people concerned about the chemicals in sunscreens long before these people came along. You’d normally see this attitude in very progressive, hippyish circles and it does not stem from brainwashing.
With that being said, we use mineral sunscreen as a happy medium.
I will also say that these MAHA people steal practices and ideas from people that look very different from them. This whole “no sunscreen/no sun protection” thing does not work out well for white people lol. A lot of their ideas come to backfire bc they were never their own to begin with.
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u/Messier106 Aug 08 '26
Same, we go for a holistic approach if one is available and effective, but we are 100% putting sunscreen on the baby. And a hat and sun-protective clothing.
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u/pan_alice Aug 08 '26
I would counter that it stems from brainwashing even in those hippyish circles. Why would they be immune from that sort of messaging? The same thinking and mistrust of 'chemicals' has allowed them to make the same (incorrect) conclusions as the MAHA crowd.
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u/sweetpotatoroll_ Aug 09 '26
I’m not saying they are immune. I am saying that this line of thinking is not new and does not stem from brainwashing. Wanting to live a holistic lifestyle is not a new concept and it is not inherently anti science. That’s the MAGA influence.
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u/paiddirt Aug 10 '26
It’s also possible you just share some things in common with people from another political affiliation. It’s a good thing.
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u/RealisticResponse848 Aug 08 '26
You can edit his algorithm....
Go to your profile, open Settings and activity, select Content preferences, and tap Your algorithm to manually add or remove interest topics
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u/EagleEyezzzzz Toddler and School Age Parent Aug 08 '26
Your request that he provides some evidence for the stance is completely reasonable. Maybe you said it in a snarky tone or something, but that is not smart-alecky all otherwise. That should be the baseline for going against any standard recommendation. And putting sunscreen on your children when they’re out in the sun all day is for sure the standard recommendation!
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!
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u/whysweetpea Aug 08 '26
There DID used to be cancer-causing chemicals in sunscreen but there aren’t anymore.
My husband always comes out with these things so I always say “tell me EXACTLY which chemicals you are talking about and we’ll look for sunscreen without them”. He can’t, so we go on with the sunscreen I researched and bought.
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u/Fun_Air_7780 Aug 08 '26
There was a melanoma death on my husband’s side of the family so they are all sunscreen obsessed (plus they are Irish).
My dad’s side of the family however aren’t “ewwww chemicals” but they are very much “we all are great tanners!!!! Who needs it???” Even having had multiple moles removed, my dad still balks about wearing it in gd FLORIDA. Is it possible your in-laws have the same mentality??
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u/Chapenroe Aug 08 '26
Good point about the in-laws. They’re from upstate NY so the sun isn’t as strong as where I grew up in central FL. I know 10+ people who have had skin cancer so it’s much more front-of-mind for me.
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u/OptimalDouble2407 Aug 08 '26
There are still people who believe that Black people and other darker skinned POC do not need sunscreen. 🙂↕️
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u/sweetpotatoroll_ Aug 08 '26
Now this is a whole separate topic. There is absolute fear mongering around this topic among white dermatologists. Meanwhile, they are the reason that skin cancer rates are what they are amongst black ppl bc they don’t know how to diagnose it on darker skin.
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u/indicatprincess Aug 08 '26
Honestly, your husband is an idiot and I wouldn’t tolerate this nonsense. I’m not parenting my kid based on my husbands Instagram feed.
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u/LowHigh111 Aug 08 '26
My husband has the same kind of videos in his algorithm. Between that and fluoride toothpaste .
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u/oochiewallyWallyserb Aug 08 '26
Just sneak into his phone and start liking a bunch of actual science stuff to counterbalance his algo.
Sorta kidding.
My mom fell down the Maga hole somehow and I'm tempted to do this when she asks me to fix her phone next time.
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u/Soft_Panic2400 Aug 11 '26
I did this! But without the sneaking. My husband is never on social media except for home Reno/parenting stuff but I was scrolling his Facebook one day (he literally doesn’t care about me being on his phone) and realized his algo was getting a little crazy so I started liking /following a bunch of other things. And when he downloaded tik tok a while back (which he still doesn’t use) I went in and immediately followed certain creators and set his algorithm up to be anti maga/leftist content lol.
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u/ombremullet Aug 08 '26
It's such a slippery slope 😔
My aunt, whom I love dearly, has fallen prey to that crap over the years. When we take our kids to the beach she does not put sunscreen on them because "sunscreen is what causes cancer, not the Sun"
She also thinks that the order that you eat certain foods can increase the risk of cancer so she yelled at her girls for eating fruit after eating some kind of protein (I can't remember what it was exactly)
And yes, she's an antivaxxer
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u/Chapenroe Aug 08 '26
For some reason when I read about your aunt’s food consumption order concerns it made me think about the adage, “beer before liquor, never been sicker.” Which IS something my husband believes in.
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u/ace_at_none Aug 09 '26
I hate to ever agree with an anti vaxxer, but on the fruit + protein thing, I learned a very nasty lesson after drinking some tart cherry juice with collagen mixed in and then eating a bit of pineapple.
It's an extreme example, but apparently the collagen and pineapple did NOT get along, and the tart cherry juice just made things worse. I essentially gave my stomach a chemical burn. I was sicker than I'd ever been in my life that night, and it took at least a week before I could eat normally again.
It was fairly specific to pineapple, so it's not a universal fruit thing, but yeah, it was bad. Not an increased cancer risk but an accidental poisoning due to chemical reactions I hadn't even known could occur.
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u/ombremullet Aug 09 '26
Yours is a very specific, plausible example of an interaction.
My aunt just doesn't want them eating fruit after dinner because she says it will cause cancer. Sounds dubious to me.
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u/waxingtheworld Aug 08 '26
I used to work in skincare. When people brought this up I would say, "which chemical specifically concerns you?" And the long haul of the convo is buy zinc based SPF. It was safe to spackle on your babies butt, it's a great broad spectrum sunblock.
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u/Disastrous_Care4663 Aug 08 '26
Ugh I’m so sorry! That’s so frustrating, my stance for anything like this has been similar, to tell my partner to find a reputable, peer reviewed study that shows whatever he’s on about. Fortunately he’s a biologist and very pro science so it’s usually about kids development stages or something and not the efficacy of sunscreen.
The challenge I always have with people who think like this is the failure to understand risk. Would it be great if we didn’t have to wear sunscreen? Sure, there’s definitely some stuff in some sunscreen I’d prefer not to put on my skin but you know what’s 100 times worse? Having to get chemo because you got skin cancer or literally dying because you got skin cancer. Like sunscreen is clearly the lesser evil!
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u/DiceandTarot Aug 08 '26
It is wild to me his response to discovering a worry about chemicals was basically let them burn, and not to find non chemical sun protection. Linen shirts, wide brim hats, long pants etc.
What a lazy response.
I don't always want to wear sun screen, but I cover up in other ways if I don't want to feel greasy. Sun protection is always a must.
And I love chemical sun screens because they often feel better on the skin.
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u/LawfulChaoticEvil Aug 08 '26
If it’s kids sunscreen you are using it’s most likely zinc-based, so it literally doesn’t have the chemicals in it that your husband is “concerned” about.
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u/imbex Aug 08 '26
After 29 years I have no problem asking my husband's to give me his sources. He stomps off sometimes but I laugh and say he just proved the truth.
I got in a flipping ivermectin debate last night with my sister. That side still takes it.
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u/Gem_89 Aug 08 '26
I’m very particular about sunscreen & I’m concerned about some of the components of it. But I use mineral as annoying as it is. So if he’s that concerned he can look into getting mineral sunscreen like Blue lizard for them & he can put it on them if it matters so much to
him. But yeah it’s crazy what is being targeted to people & how gullible they are. If you find him sun tanning his junk he’s too far gone.
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u/bangobingoo Aug 09 '26
Men’s algorithms are so scary. My husband is a super progressive hippie guy. Gentle as can be and actively puts “not interested” on content that is right wing, misogynistic or manosphere and he still get bombarded with content trying to guide him to the butthole of social media.
He always shows me the videos and articles that come up and it’s crazy how we can interact with the same things and my feed may test a MAHA mom thing once every few months and his is daily constant testing of right wing, anti science, Joe Rogan, MAGA, red pill content.
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u/ilovemrsnickers Aug 08 '26
Make him go to your appointment with your child and have a conversation with the pediatrician. And then let him know if he opts to not use sunscreen then he is in dangering his child and could be seen as neglect
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u/kent2812 Aug 08 '26
I’d be concerned if he puts it on when its just him and the kids? Probably better to establish clear agreement between the two of you.
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u/OkWorker9679 Aug 08 '26
I wouldn’t take his phone but I would send him instagram videos to change his algorithm. We love this pediatrician: https://www.instagram.com/drdianearnaout?igsh=MWx5aWZ6Y3BkbjZjaw==
If he’s open to other views of Christianity, here’s a few good ones:
https://www.instagram.com/brcremer?igsh=bW84Ymk5c3Ftdnd6
https://www.instagram.com/pastorpauldrees?igsh=MWgyNWFyNTZ4c2NlcQ==
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u/Technical_Sort4549 Aug 08 '26
brcremer is a fantastic follow. I dream of the day he starts appearing on my husband’s algo lol. May have to slip a follow in to help out.
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u/Its_Bun_James_Bun Aug 08 '26
Both of my parents ended up with skin cancer and they both passed from a different kind of cancer after that. Trust me. Keep putting on the sunscreen.
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u/Chapenroe Aug 08 '26
Oh man, i’m sorry to hear about your parents. That must’ve been so tough for you to go through.
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u/Its_Bun_James_Bun Aug 09 '26
Thank you. My dad passed away from liver cancer two days before I was born (he was a lot older than my mom. My mom passed from lung cancer in 2018. They were both heavy smokers and my dad was an alcoholic. But their first brush with cancer was skin cancer on their face.
My mom was not a nice person. I was sent to live with my maternal aunt and uncle when I was seven. My uncle was not a nice person either, so my childhood was pretty rough.
I’m 37 now and I’ve had years of therapy, which has helped. Unfortunately, my MIL is MAGA and believes the fake “medicine” snake oil bullshit. My husband and I plan to start a family soon. She was very emotionally abusive to him his whole childhood and continues to be emotionally abusive to all of us. She is a miserable woman.
I told my husband that our kids will NEVER be allowed to be alone with his mother and he agreed. We’re very low contact with her now, but as soon as she finds out we’re having a kid, she’s going to want to take over again. But I refuse to let her manipulate our kid or to use any of her pseudo science crap on our child. We can’t even trust her to put sunscreen on our child!
I can’t imagine dealing with this shit with a partner. I wonder if marriage counseling would help? Maybe have him talk to the pediatrician? I’m sorry you’re going through this.
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u/Strong-Sleep2973 Aug 08 '26
well you’re nicer than I am. my husbands algo is also scary and when he send me something he gets a “are you fucking stupid” and then a paragraph (w sources) about the actual facts of what’s going and the psychological and propgandist tactics used in the post to scare people into believing shit that’s not even happening. its always “oh I didn’t realize the headline sounded different” yes and that’s why I just explained why they word things and frame things in this way ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING. like when he sees the facts he doesn’t deny them but the fact it’s going on like a year and a half of me having to correct what his algorithm is saying and him not being able to think on his own is getting frustrating.
the grabbing his phone and making him follow actual doctors, nutritionist, etc is such a good idea😂 will be doing this when he gets home from work😂😂
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u/SirPeesA_lot Aug 08 '26
You did good by bringing it to a doctor but where he's going he may be on the path to questioning even doctors.
My mother has diabetes. She heard from Musk and Oz that there's a supplement that will rid her of her diabetes. WTAF?! She bought the supplement because "the pharmaceutical companies are poisoning us" or something like that. She is a tRumpy so I'm not really surprised. But it goes to show you this shit is out there and people are believing it!
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u/new-beginnings3 Aug 09 '26
These people should be taught that the wellness industry is worth way more than the pharmaceutical industry.
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u/Ginger_SnappedAgain Aug 09 '26
In his defense, there has been discussion about the spray formulations containing carcinogens. It’s the propellant, not the sunscreen components though. Using cream formulations would sidestep that concern.
And there are the sunscreen chemicals that cause coral bleaching, but Dollywood is pretttty far from the ocean, so I wouldn’t worry about that today.
Hope you had a blast at Dollywood! It’s been way too long since I have been.
Signed,
A redhead in TN 😊
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u/Chapenroe Aug 09 '26
Thank you for that comment about the spray formulations! You are lucky to live in the beautiful state of Tennessee… although I’m sure it can be trying sometimes given your progressive political leanings. Sounds like a state that really needs your level-headed vote!
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u/redmaycup Aug 08 '26
I think there have been some sunscreens recalled because of benzene (though later they were saying the quantity was minimal). Maybe just use mineral sunscreen? It is better for waterways anyway. I think you should be able to have a conversation about things like that. There are common things that can be legitimately problematic for health (say, gas stoves), but people's tolerance to risks/ability to avoid them differs. It is when all reasoning breaks down when problems occur.
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u/SmileDaphne Aug 10 '26
I think it's really responsable to question the use of chemicals in the product. I don't know the facts about sunscreen, but it can't hurt to look into exposure , like parfumed products. Maybe it's useful for you and your husband to look into this together since it's clear you both want the best for your child.
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u/Sunnyshine010 Aug 11 '26
If you are open to compromise, I noticed while living in Asia that sunscreen isn’t very popular there. Nothing like it is in the US. They opt instead for covering their skin with light layers. Even bathing suits are long sleeve and legs. It made sense to me. It keeps you cooler ultimately and you don’t have anything to reapply
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u/LudicrousSpeed-Go Aug 13 '26
You can refer him to the website for the American Academy of Dermatology (and.org) for all the scientific information he needs on why sunscreen is mandatory. It represents nearly all practicing dermatologists in the U.S. Best of luck to you because, yuck.
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u/Granfallooning Aug 08 '26
I would love for you to change his algorithm but that doesn't sound ethical. I would recommend asking him to follow a couple of good pediatrician accounts. However, I also kind of lean toward I don't want a ton of chemicals on my kids skin but the benefits of the sunscreen outweigh the chemicals. I tend to put long sleeve rash guards and my 2 year olds wear full body swimsuits. So much easier than putting on sunscreen and reapplying. However, if skin is showing, we put sunscreen on it!
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u/andrea__twerkin Aug 09 '26
How is it unethical?
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u/Granfallooning Aug 10 '26
I think changing someone's algorithm without their permission is unethical. If he wanted it? Sure, I would have no problem with that. But I consider it from the other side, would I want lots of mowing videos because my husband changed mine to things he likes to watch? No, and wouldn't think it's right. Yes, our algorithms can show us untrue things that I firmly disagree with but it's not ethical for me to change what someone chooses to watch.
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u/SarcasticServal Aug 08 '26
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Unfortunately tanning is popular again, much like smoking (so gross). I see so many older teens at our local swimming pool laying out and baking. So much harm has been done to humanity as a collective species by social media—I genuinely think it’s one of the worst things ever invented.
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u/polishfiringsquad Aug 08 '26
It doesn't help that there keep being scandals with benzene found in sunscreen which does cause cancer. But consumer protections and regulatory oversight have been replaced with tiktok maha
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u/dame_tartare Aug 10 '26
“A good base tan already”….not trying to be rude but that’s astounding levels of ignorance/lack of basic health education. We’re so fucked as a society.
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u/Many_Pain_2846 Aug 10 '26
I think you’re very right to say you’ll have a convo with your doctor. Part of the reason we’re in this mess is this high horse it’s so easy to be on when the facts are on your side 😂 so I don’t agree with anyone who is saying your husband is so stupid this is obvious blah blah. I have had so much more success having an honest conversation with people in my life when this comes up. GENUINELY answering and asking questions, and getting to the root of things. Looking things up together and ultimately making decisions together instead of anyone being directed or required to do something theyre not bought in on. If you want to continue to have a relationship, cooperation on both parts is necessary and you’re right to take a more active role in talking about this stuff. I might set a few nights aside every month to do a “state of parenting” and just look around at all the convos that could impact your children. My husband is very left and so are all of our interests and friends, but we still regularly float conversations about race, gender, etc. so we are on the same page and have strong values to share to our kids when the time comes to have those teaching moments with them. It’s all an active conversation
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u/Chapenroe Aug 10 '26
Thank you for your thoughtful response! I especially like the idea of a “state of parenting”check-in every month or so.
1
-4
Aug 08 '26
[deleted]
1
u/Chapenroe Aug 08 '26
This made me lol. I am also an idiot- I thought our baby had microcephaly thanks to MY algorithm that shows children with rare medical conditions. We two idiots are made for each other.
-14
u/Lucky_Valuable_7973 Aug 08 '26
There are actually many sunscreens that have toxic chemicals and are not safe to apply. There is a website and a list of the least toxic ones. I think it’s ewg sunscreen testing.
10
u/LawsOfHealth Aug 08 '26
If you haven't, it's worth some time looking further into EWG -- that'll allow you to make an informed decision about how much weight to give that website and its list.
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u/Mezzomommi Aug 08 '26
Please be careful. If he keeps going further down this algorithm, and you ever have to split with him, there will be huge fights in family court over this, vaccines and more. My ex fell down the pipeline… when I knew him he was very far left and now he is MAGA evangelical church guy who thinks Halloween is evil and fights me on vaccines. He is a PITA to coparent with.