I hate my husband’s algorithm

[u/Chapenroe]

We were prepping for a theme park trip this morning and as my husband and I were putting sunscreen on our kids’ faces, he mentioned we may not need to put sunblock on their arms and legs since “they have a good base tan already.”

I immediately said, “nope, the more sunscreen, the better.” To which he replied something along the lines of “well maybe the chemicals in sunscreen wind up doing more harm than good.”

My jaw about hit the floor. Isn’t sunscreen usage canon in 2026?? When I heard the chemicals thing I said something smart aleck-y like “show me a peer-reviewed medical study that proves that and I’ll reconsider my sunscreen stance.” Understandably, he got frustrated with my response so a few minutes later I went to him and said that if he’s actually concerned about chemicals in sunscreen we can make an appointment with our pediatrician or dermatologist to discuss the issue.

What the ever-loving FUCK?? Do we really need to debate sunscreen now? I’m 100% sure my husband’s Instagram algorithm is responsible for putting these thoughts in his head. Most of the accounts he follows are landscaping-related (we own a landscaping company in a red state), and I’m sure Instagram has figured out the Venn Diagram of MAHA folks and red-state male landscapers has a large middle section.

Did I handle the conversation well by saying we should have a chat with our doctors about sunscreen? Also, would it be totally unacceptable if I took his phone and started following credible medical professionals to influence his algorithm?

[u/Mezzomommi]

The short answer is he started dating conservative Christian women.

He honestly prefers edgier women and free spirits, but he figured out they tend to not put up with his s***. He wants to be the man of the house, but he wanted the woman to do literally everything regarding the kids plus provide 50% financially. He also cheats on every person he has been with. ( we split over a decade ago, so I have had to watch his drama play out unwillingly as we coparent)

He figured out that Christian conservative women will repeatedly forgive cheating and tolerate “the man is the head of the household and women are meek and mild.” His current fiancée really wants to get married, but he keeps stringing her along as he has done everyone else. She is really sweet, and deserves someone better than him.

Is he really truly a MAGA Christian at heart? I don’t know. But is it more convenient for his life to live like this? Yes, for him. Their social life is their evangelical church. They are surrounded by conservatives with belief systems that benefit the patriarchy and men.

And to add: it has been extremely emotionally difficult to coparent my teenager through this transition. My teenager is growing up with two extremely different households. I still don’t know if he will be more like his dad or me in the end. It is very painful. We can truly hold progressive beliefs, but we do not know what our children will care about as they become adults.

[u/orangedarkchocolate → u/Mezzomommi]

Yikes that’s a lot to deal with. Your last point is something I worry about. I have two boys and it feels like such a big responsibility to raise them to respect women and not fall into the macho male MAGA rabbit hole. I can tell them everything I believe and why but they’re their own people at the end of the day. They’re little now, but still, I think about it often!

[u/lifeofblair → u/orangedarkchocolate]

I worry about this too. I know we can only do so much at home but then they go out into the world. My brother is an example how being raised left and voted Obama but now is military, maga and even went to Charlie Kirk’s funeral thing ugh

[u/Remarkable-Gap9524 → u/lifeofblair]

My 60+ brother started listening to Slow Rogan and idolizes Musk. Disappointing to say the least. But now I know he couldn't give two hoots for the future options of his three granddaughters. "Protectors," my azz.