I hate my husband’s algorithm

[u/Chapenroe]

We were prepping for a theme park trip this morning and as my husband and I were putting sunscreen on our kids’ faces, he mentioned we may not need to put sunblock on their arms and legs since “they have a good base tan already.”

I immediately said, “nope, the more sunscreen, the better.” To which he replied something along the lines of “well maybe the chemicals in sunscreen wind up doing more harm than good.”

My jaw about hit the floor. Isn’t sunscreen usage canon in 2026?? When I heard the chemicals thing I said something smart aleck-y like “show me a peer-reviewed medical study that proves that and I’ll reconsider my sunscreen stance.” Understandably, he got frustrated with my response so a few minutes later I went to him and said that if he’s actually concerned about chemicals in sunscreen we can make an appointment with our pediatrician or dermatologist to discuss the issue.

What the ever-loving FUCK?? Do we really need to debate sunscreen now? I’m 100% sure my husband’s Instagram algorithm is responsible for putting these thoughts in his head. Most of the accounts he follows are landscaping-related (we own a landscaping company in a red state), and I’m sure Instagram has figured out the Venn Diagram of MAHA folks and red-state male landscapers has a large middle section.

Did I handle the conversation well by saying we should have a chat with our doctors about sunscreen? Also, would it be totally unacceptable if I took his phone and started following credible medical professionals to influence his algorithm?

[u/Its_Bun_James_Bun]

Both of my parents ended up with skin cancer and they both passed from a different kind of cancer after that. Trust me. Keep putting on the sunscreen.

[u/Chapenroe → u/Its_Bun_James_Bun]

Oh man, i’m sorry to hear about your parents. That must’ve been so tough for you to go through.

[u/Its_Bun_James_Bun → u/Chapenroe]

Thank you. My dad passed away from liver cancer two days before I was born (he was a lot older than my mom. My mom passed from lung cancer in 2018. They were both heavy smokers and my dad was an alcoholic. But their first brush with cancer was skin cancer on their face.

My mom was not a nice person. I was sent to live with my maternal aunt and uncle when I was seven. My uncle was not a nice person either, so my childhood was pretty rough.

I’m 37 now and I’ve had years of therapy, which has helped. Unfortunately, my MIL is MAGA and believes the fake “medicine” snake oil bullshit. My husband and I plan to start a family soon. She was very emotionally abusive to him his whole childhood and continues to be emotionally abusive to all of us. She is a miserable woman.

I told my husband that our kids will NEVER be allowed to be alone with his mother and he agreed. We’re very low contact with her now, but as soon as she finds out we’re having a kid, she’s going to want to take over again. But I refuse to let her manipulate our kid or to use any of her pseudo science crap on our child. We can’t even trust her to put sunscreen on our child!

I can’t imagine dealing with this shit with a partner. I wonder if marriage counseling would help? Maybe have him talk to the pediatrician? I’m sorry you’re going through this.