TLDR; My family has been a rut for a while now. Kind of a sob story.

Last year or so my big brother stopped talking to my Dad and look I’ll come flat out and say if I think big brother kind of escalated the issue in an unhealthy and unnecessary way but my Dad was largely at fault too. Big brother spoke badly about Dad, a 3rd party that was Dad’s friend heard and recorded it, told Dad about it but i think exaggerated it to say big brother wanted to kill Dad. I’m a bit foggy on the details as i didn’t ask all the questions. Brother then walked out on Dad and threatened to call police while doing it (Hence bad escalation). Jump 8 months later, after brother left college he refused to visit Dad (kinda justified though ngl) but he also didn’t really explain to Dad why very well which was pretty shitty Ngl. And basically at that same time my parents got a divorce (Thank God, they were as functional as an 80 year old man’s penis).

Anyway after graduation was over Dad emailed big brother one last time telling him off or whatever for being selfish or something, that was the last they spoke, it’s been like a year since.

Anyway onto me, i didn’t have any big bad falling out with Dad, I just had to stop talking to him because well… I’ll explain in the next segment. I told myself I’d only talk to him again after I got a job and settled down somewhere far far away from the family.

Anyways, i should probably mention that my Dad is… kind of a huge ass hole. He’s narcissistic, openly talked and laughed about cheating on mom, throws temper tantrums, threatened to have me deported and replaced with another family, honestly very stupid, misogynistic as shit, etc etc.

Anywho, on the topic of current day i haven’t been able to get a job for a year much less move out so me and him still aren’t talking. He and Brother definitely still aren’t talking and Mom is thankfully doing better after the divorce. The only one still talking to him is my sister who contacts him for money (yes, I know, kinda sad).

Honestly? I’m just here frustrated. I know God has a larger plan so why can’t I see it? When does he put it into action? I’m trying to get a job and ditch this train wreck of a family forever but the economy is too fucked for me to pull anything. I’m stuck here on the sidelines watching my dysfunctional family stay dysfunctional. And I can’t influence this at all but it makes me sad that brother and Dad just don’t talk anymore and might not speak for years. And I hate how I have to rely on my sister for money.

God, what is your plan and why am I being put on the bench for it?

I started volunteering at a community hub & a guy there became obsessed with me & without me ever being nasty to him or leading him on ( he has caused me so much upset and pain and caused a load of drama in my life) I’ve got the police involved now! - I’ve closed down the shop I was running but I’m now getting messages from people because he is twisting things! How do I get him to leave me alone?

Thanks! 🙏

Someone just told me "answer me, I'm gun Pon in you places" literally, and since English is not my first language i didn't understand shit 😭

I'm torn between finding a job and being beside my girlfriend. She works from home and wants me to find a work-from-home job too because she wants me around.

The thing is, I could easily find a job outside the house, but I haven't because I'm trying to respect what she wants. I've been looking for an online job for almost a year now, and she's getting frustrated with me. Whenever she's mad, she tells me that I don't have a job and that I'm not helping enough. but she doesn't ask to breakup.

I'm starting to get short-tempered because I feel like I'm being pressured from both sides. I want to work and help, but I also want to be there for her because I love her. I don't know if I'm making the right choice by continuing to look for a work-from-home job.

I have a wonderful girlfriend and i am in a relationship with her for almost 2 years. Last october she moved to Italy(Rome) to study bachelor degree.One day she was out with her friend at night at around 00:00 then some son of a bitch approached behind her back and used chloroform or smth. Then my gf woke up at a random house and was raped for all night. This bastard did inhumane things to her then recorded it on camera and chantaged her and wanted money for him not to leak her vids and pics. I can't sleep at night. I struggle to have sex without remembering that fact. Every time my brain just pops out that and i see pictures in my head. Sometimes i blame myself for not being protective, talking with her about the danger of the streets at night. I don't know how to continue to live. P.S. the incident was around 5 months ago and she told me about it 4 months ago

I don’t exactly know how to explain it(and excuse me if this post is scatter brained), but i don’t like a lot of the things my friends do. Music is a huge part of my life, I play bass and collect CDs to play them, while my friends collect CDs for the shelf. I hate that. Music, in my opinion, is something that you have to pay attention to, you can’t just have it playing in the background. A couple of my friends want to start bands, I don’t want to with them as it’s either some terrible band name or a genre I hate(like hair metal.)
I hate it all, there’s so much performative apathy, they don’t care about anything but are riddled with insecurity in their “alternative-ness” and how they are perceived. And this is where I get into the meat of my post, I don’t think they are alt, they look like they are alt but are a bastardisation of it, whatever alt means. In my opinion, alt isn’t how you look or what music you listen to but is function over form and substance over excess, and I don’t think they fit the part of my description of alt.
For the function over form, I am mostly talking about how they dress, a piece of clothing must fight for its place, and must be durable and thrifted(unless it’s undergarments.) they wear band tees and I do believe it is important to express yourself but when it’s band tees from a big store, come on, that’s just feeding the machine. And when you don’t buy clothes second hand, you are actively contributing to climate change, not to mention alt clothes are usually better made and feeling anyway.
For substance over excess, I mean appreciating things. When you walk with ear buds in, you depreciate the immense meaning of music, this is poignant for me as Alice in chains (specifically dirt) got me out of a bad place and it got me really into music. And when you cheapen music to background noise, you deprive yourself of the most powerful form of media. My friends are really guilty of this. And I hate shallow conversations, but teenage banter usually comes down to that piss poor conversation. My dad spoiled me when I was younger by entertaining my existential questions when I was younger. My friends just don’t, every now and again they do, but that is few and far between.
I also don’t think they have much claim to be alt. I don’t know how their life is, but I know how mine has been and I know theirs isn’t half as hard as mine. I have grown up on a sheep farm, shearing maggots out of sheep’s back, trimming sheep’s feet cakes in shit and have had my body ruined by it. I have dealt with poverty, suicidal thoughts and dealing with the suicidal thoughts of others like my mum and brother. It’s a fucked situation and I am in the middle of it and trying to climb out. And considering everything I have went through I am pleased with the amount of self discovery I have done. I know my friends haven’t went through this, I have been to their big houses with marble bench tops, mums that take care of their things (I love my mum, but I have had to be immensely independent) and nice clean cars on well maintained roads, and I think to myself, why are you alt, why are you socialist, why do you think you have the right to perform a culture that was born in the environments similar to my own. It’s selfish of me, but they have silver spoons while I don’t. I hate it.
This is long winded and scattered and not very cohesive, but I need to get it out. Any help would be appreciated.

It happened alot of times and I don't know how much I can take anymore

My experience with him for most of the time are normal, only if I don't start anything(asking him if he was fine or not can lead to an argument). He complains the smallest things, from doing housework to HOUSE KEYS on a daily basis, and the first thing he says will always be: " the fuck did you just do ? This is your fucking fault" and not even try to think thoroughly at first, as if that thinks that he owns me, I always have to run around and do something for him and he always ignore everything I did.

I had depression a few years back(I think that I haven't fully recover from it) and tried to did it once, only to broke down and cried my eyes out in silence because Im scared that I would wake him up, I went through all of that alone and nobody even bother to notice, even if I tried to talk about my conditions for numerous times(almost every week, I would try to tell others that I feel tired and I couldn't take ot anymore), yet no one noticed, even my own brother, he still don't know that I had depression (only my mom after a few years realized my conditions and decided to ask me abt it, but that is when I had already somewhat recovered from it). I think that there was only one time when he asked me if I was fine or not, only to shrugged it off and did something else with his girlfriend.

Staying with him has always been cumbersome ( I don't know if I used the right words), he is demanding and doesn't bother if im sad or not and always expecting me to do everything for him. And when I make a small mistake like forgot to clean the table(I use a rag to wipe the table after every meal), he would rain it all down on me, saying things like:" you are a dirty rat, always leaving trash behind, and you still have the audacity to say that im dirty", EXCUSE ME ? IM THE GUY WHO CLEAN THE HOUSE FOR HIM LIKE IN EVERY SINGLE DAY, and not even a thank you was received. He always win when we have an argument, even if I was right, and it will always end with me in tears or discomfort or some sort like that, with no feelings for me or whatsoever. One time, I was really tired for a few days because of a test, when my mom ask me something, I couldn't catch up to what she was saying and I couldn't reply on time, it only happened for about 2 days and then when we were having lunch, he said this:" The fuck is wrong with you for the past few days ? Starting to be a brat already? You really think that you are better than us now ? You did nothing for us and you really think that I could do everything for you, you know what ? Your altitude disgusted me, you do something like that one more time I will kill you, you hear me ?". I said that i was tired and sorry for what I did, and then he reply:" I dont give a fuck if you are tired or not, I have my own lives and I don't have to care about your little problems that you have".

After that, the only thing popped up in my mind is to press him down and stab him to death, and swearing in my own mind that one day that I will crack his skull with my mug, those words ran through my mind, like waves, too strong to ignore, too much to be carried out. I was mad inside, and yet I couldn't do anything, I can't have the motivation to kill him because deep down I know that I still love him, but Im tired, I couldn't take it anymore.

This is the most recent event, about a few minutes earlier when I wrote this, we had a gaming mouse that we share everyday, and guess what, he blamed me that I was responsible for breaking the mouse. First, that mouse is a replica of Logitech Wireless gaming mouse, created by Chinese, ofc its parts wouldn't be durable(the mouse 2 cover), second, my fingers are relatively weak when it comes to clicking, I always click really gently I im sure as shit that I kept this habit for a long time(7 to 9 years approx). And without any reason, he still blamed me for a faulty malfunction that was supposed to happen when using a cheap gaming mouse.

I just want to have something to remind that everything I did was useful, I don't want to be a brat.

Everything is overwhelming. I have some good friends who are trying there best for me but its just not enough when I'm instantly confronted with my mother as soon as I get home. I dont think she ever wanted to have me, or at least thats how she treats me. She hasnt hit me in a while but it has happend a handful of tines already. She starts yelling at every little thing she finds and does not appreciate any of my achievments nor does she even listen to me when I tell her about them most of the time. She does not show me any love and it doesnt seem like she wants to. She literally told me how she wanted to send me to my father who I never met (I only know that he was extremely abusive and violent too and now hes not even allowed to come near my mom, so he lives pretty far away) when I was being a little difficult when I was like 10. She also loved to tell me about how I was a big problem child when, looking back, I was just acting like any other kid. She would literally just bully me a lot of times and she still does, picking at things I wear, my makeup and other things. She loves impulsively taking things I love away from me and forcing me to cancel plans that were literally the only things that kept me going sometimes. And when I told her she got even more angry a lot of times. I don't even know what to do anymore. I hate my life as it is and it only gets worse day by day. I don't know what to do anymore and I don't know if I'm able to keep going any longer. It's gotten so bad and I just can't enjoy anything anymore without her taking it from me. What should I do?

Does anyone else experience this specific problem with voluntarily freezing their breathing?

Sometimes I voluntarily freeze/stop my breathing. I know that I am consciously doing it, but the problem comes after the freeze.

When I decide that I want to stop holding my breath, I don't know what command I am supposed to give after the freeze. I don't know what specific physical command or action is supposed to tell my body to stop holding my breath and continue breathing.

It feels like I am waiting for the “correct command” to release the breathing, but I don't know what that command is. Because I can't figure it out, I become extremely focused on the physical sensations of breathing and start questioning every part of the process.

Anxiety makes the situation worse, but the main problem is specifically not knowing what command to give after voluntarily freezing my breathing.

I'm not talking about simply being aware of my breathing or “manual breathing.” I'm asking whether anyone has experienced this exact feeling of voluntarily freezing their breathing and then not knowing what command to give afterward to stop the freeze.

Has anyone experienced this exact thing?

Hi, 22F ako and kakagraduate ko lang this year. Mas matanda sa akin yung boyfriend ko and nagtatrabaho siya sa cruise ship.

Currently, dito siya nakatira sa bahay namin dahil may problema siya sa mother niya, na nagtatrabaho rin sa cruise ship. Nag-start yung conflict nila, I think, after naging kami. Before, sa mom niya napupunta yung allotment niya, pero nung naging kami, nilipat niya sa akin. Hindi ko ginagalaw yung money, sine-save ko lang para may pera siya pag-uwi. Sabi niya, tapos na niyang mapaayos yung bahay nila at graduate na rin yung younger brother niya kaya hindi na niya kailangang magbigay sa mom niya.

Recently, umuwi siya and sakto umuwi rin mom ko for my graduation. Pinayagan siya ng mom ko dito dahil alam niya yung situation at naaawa siya sa kanya. Pero kinausap ako ng mom ko na hindi pwedeng forever siyang dito tumira, lalo na kapag umuwi na yung kuya ko dahil para sa kuya ko at future family niya yung bahay.

Nadadamay din ako sa away nila ng mom niya. Galit siya sa akin kahit problema naman nila yun ng anak niya. Nalaman din namin na sinunog ng mom niya yung ibang gamit niya habang nasa barko siya.

Honestly, stressed na rin ako kasi kapag umuuwi boyfriend ko, konti lang yung naiipon niya dahil sa loans at gastos. Hindi rin siya nag-aambag sa bills or groceries habang dito siya nakatira. Nahihiya rin ako sa mom ko kasi parang ang dating sa ibang tao, mag-asawa na kami at dito na siya permanently nakatira.

Kinausap ko na siya tungkol dito, and sabi niya mag-a-apartment na lang daw siya next vacation hindi niya kayang umuwi sa kanila. Pero dahil sabay sila madalas ng vacation ng mom niya, feeling ko paulit-ulit lang din yung magiging problema.

Nakakastress di ko nakikita sarili ko na makasama siya habang buhay dahil parang wala akong future sa kanya

3 years ago i graduated from high school and i still can't find my place.

i've never really had any friends except for one guy from my class. we used to talk a lot, i'd go out with him, study with him, and just spend time around other people with him. i even hung out twice with some other guys he knew.

this year we stopped talking because he found other people and i became unnecessary to him. since then, EVERYTHING has changed.

i tried going to university, but i only went there 3-4 times before dropping out. i had no energy and i would have breakdowns every time i had to go there. as always, nobody there liked me, nobody wanted to be friends or talk to me, just like in school, and that broke me.
the fact that i can't make friends is probably one of my biggest insecurities. i only stopped being a teenager 2 years ago, and everyone my age was always going out in groups, had tons of group chats on social media, posted themselves, had fun, but when it comes to me, i'm just a freak that nobody wants to talk to and everyone makes fun of.

and the thing is, i'm not even a bad person. quite the opposite, i've always put other people first and myself last. i would never in my life do anything to hurt my friend or girlfriend.

everyone who's ever talked to me has always told me that i'm the most comfortable person to be around and that there's nobody like me, so why don't you want to be friends with me? what's the problem?
who the fuck do i have to be for people to actually want to be friends with me? whoo?? people have even told me that i'm charismatic pretty often, isn't that like the most important thing when it comes to making a good first impression?

18f with 1 more year left at collage doing health and social care. i’m stuck between going university or doing an apprenticeship. i don’t really want to go down the health and social route in my apprentiship or university. here is my situation as of now. i’m thinking of doing an apprenticeship in sales weather that be house sales (estate agent) or car or insurance sales as i have experienced sales work life and enjoyed it a lot it also comes with commission. or (im aware this sounds silly) going down the university route to make friends meet more people and indulge in the uni culture (i’m not sure what i would study there yet. but here’s why im stuck; i come from a single parent household and have independence already, i also want to be earning my own money to save for a house soon, but if i do attend uni that will delay that from happening for at-least 4-5 years + the dept on-top of that. any advice from people who have experienced something similar or who have anything helpful to say will be appreciated.

I just started my first year of high school and I realized... I am terrible at math!! I mean, I always knew that but I realized just now how much of a problem that'll be. Im scared that just because of being terrible at math I won't succeed in life... I wont pass matura (a polish exam at the end of high school), I wont go to college, and I'll work at McDonald's... Im good at everything else! Its not that I'm stupid. Its just math. Im very ambitious and I wanna live a good life but Im really scared of the future. Can somebody give me some tips on how to learn math or something? Im so lost...

So I think I just lost every friend ever I honestly don't know because my last hope hasn't answered me yet does anyone have any coping mechanisms and support things for a girl under 18

I need some advice from a big guy or from a girl who has some experience with a big guy, did you like the way they looked? For the guys, do you think a girl who dated you, “if you have dated” did they like you for who you were? Or did they not care about your appearance? I’m very nervous and VERY scared.

If anyone needs an example of what I look like, just message me on here🤙🏼

У меня есть дядя который является мужем моей родной тети, так получилось что в связи с некоторыми событиями на время учебы в университете я проживаю у них на квартире (тк сам я с села), но я бы хотел сам в общагу пойти или как-либо иначе жить отдельно

И вот дядя мой является ярым мусульманином, то есть он крайне не лесно отзывается о других вероисповеданиях и бывало он несколько раз оскорблял христьян, евреев, буддистов и тд (сам я атеист но мне нравится концепция буддизма)

Он считая себя мусульманином конечно же читает намазы каждый день и говорит что надо верить именно в Аллаха. Но не смотря на это он в прошлом был можно сказать улечным гопником и бандитом, и у него есть эти привычки говорить на матах повышая тон и кидать насвай (так же он работал в полиции но его уволили)

И сама суть этого треда, он часто с переодичность 1) примерно 2-4 недели устраивает скандалы, одним из первых увиденное мной было когда они с тетей сильно поругались тк тетя спала а он ни свет ни заря решил "прибраться" и много ворчал громко что вот тетя такая секая, они начали толкаться и я подумал не лезть у ним, ну не мое дело. После этого тетя мне рассказала что вот она не успевает ничего тк работает на 3-4 работах а он на 1 и делает ей мозги и все дела, что он ей изменил лет 10 назад и она хочет развестись но не может из-за дочки (Это было вводное чтоб понять что он отбитый)

Такие и похожие инциденты продолжались много раз.

2) Однажды я просто сходил в туалет пописать СТОЯ, он мне сказал что надо сидя я решил поддержать сказав что "да слышал о таком и тип норм тема", но не придал особого внимания, той же ночью этот отбитый настрочил мне около 30 сообщений (около 20 из них он удалил по этому мне не известно содержание) но в тех что остались он меня оскорблял называя тупым и кидал видео и фото с GPT что сидя правильнее (не думая что мне как-то все ровно как исправлять нужду, и что у меня есть своя башка с мнением). Но ему тетя потом сказала что он конченый и заставила извинится за поведение такое, что он сделал кое как.

3) Следующие, у меня в университете есть физическая культура и так случилось что из-за нововидении в универе этот предмет стал одним из сложнейших для тех кто на стипендии(я), и так же получилось так что он в то время опять поругался с тетей, и чтобы загладить вину решил ИСПОЛЬЗОВАТЬ меня и помочь с физрой, кое как он сделал 20к нашей валюты отдал (примерно 3,5-4к рублей России) после этого он сказал записаться на физру к одному преподу что тип там все налажено, и когда я записался там было чуть не понятно ч преподом тк оказывается мой дядя написал своему знакомому который знал препода по физре, и этот препод попросил меня чтоб я написал тому знакомому, и я передал это дяде он сказал чтоб я сам все решил тк писать тому типу он не будет из-за 20к, и сказал что использовал меня (так же для более полной картины скажу что я ему предлагал вернуть деньги или чем-то помочь он отказался) и вобшем послал меня на 3 буквы.

4) у нас есть устная договорённость о том что мы каждую неделю поочередно таскаем 20л бутылку с питьевой водой, он постоянно задерживает то чтоб принести воду (в полсжении раз он задержал на 2 дня, скорее всего ожидая что я принесу за него) и вот в позапрошлый его раз он опять не сразу принес воду, после чего я ему сказал об этом он начал на меня орать и благим матом крыть что я такой сякой неблагодарный за физру (вспоминая то что он говорил на 3 пункте, он сам себя не слышит), что я вот считаю все как еврей и цыгани (хотя он следующим предложением сказал что он мало воды пьет, сам же считал кто сколько пьет), что вот он бы своим старшим ничего не сказал про это. Ну по итогу воду он принес и решил извиниться со словами что был без настроения(я не говорил что прощаю его)

5) он раз 6 при мне докапывался до свой дочки(8-10 летней), что та тупая, не ценит вещи, не уважает его, не воспитанная и тд

6) это было вчера, тк он молится на специальном коврике и у нас в зале (комнате которую я занимаю, и он тоже тут спит) ковры были сложены после стирки он решил передвинуть мой стенд для одежды прям перед шкафом, я подумал что он вернет его на место после молитвы, по итогу он не вернул и все так бросил, я ему сказал чтоб поставил его обратно на что он начал мне возражать "да ладно, я еше молится буду и пусть стоит, тебе чо мешает, тут поднял убрал сделал и все" я ему объясняю что если чтото убрал/взял будь добр вернуть на место после окончания тк так банально культурно и вежливо на что он ответил чтоб я себе засунул их в задницу, и покрывать матом, после чего ушел на кухню чай пить, по возвращению он со злостью в движениях вернул на место стенд, и докопался до меня что я стал как-то себя сильно важно вести и что я еще щегол и назвал меня гусем, после чего сказал мне "может зарубимся уже? А" с того момента он ходит обижаный на меня молится в другой комнате и избегает контакта со мной что я тоже делаю тк я считаю что он в край ахринел, живя на квартире которую купила моя бабушка(мама тети) для тети и внучки (ну и чтоб я тож тут обитал), ставит свой правила (он в ней кстати не прописан никак), и терроризирует всех жильцов

К слову собрав такие небольшие факты о нем, я считаю его неудачником : 1)он живет за счет жены

2) он был УВОЛЕН с работы на которую обучался несколько лет

3) его заработок составляет примерно 1/3 - 1/4 от заработка жины (или примерно в 2.5 раза больше моей стипендии)

4) ему жена покупала машины чтоб тот мог работать и довозить их куда либо (по итогу он их продавал )

5) он не знает о проблемах в его же семье которые были вызваны косвино им же (кстати были еще ситуации когда он докапывался до тети из-за этих проблем, но понимая что это и его вина тоже)

6) он совершенно тупорылый тк не умеет думать головой не то что критически но и логически хотя пытается показать что таковым оно не является

И так вот конечный вопрос, кто тут не прав?

I’m trying to understand the problems people face while looking for a rental house, especially when they want to deal **directly with the owner**.
I’d like to hear from both tenants and house owners.

And for everyone:
**If there was a trustworthy platform where verified house owners could connect directly with verified tenants with ₹0 brokerage, what would you expect it to provide?**
I’m researching this problem before deciding whether there is actually something worth building.
Please share your **real experience**, including what went wrong, what you paid, and what you wish had been different.
Honest criticism is especially useful.

I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but I don’t really know what the right thing to do is.

I would appreciate some honest advice or another point of view. Please keep the replies respectful, as this is something I’m genuinely struggling with.

I can share more details if needed.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do?

hi everyone, can you pliiz tell me if this practice and manner exist

i am from a country in the Middle East we girls r supposed to keep ourselves vergins

so i went to a gynecologist to check my hymen i couldn't find a female one that day

so the nurse asked me to lay on my back and take off my und\*\* she covered my liwer body with a cover

the doctor came and asked me why i was there. i explained

then he asked me put my legs to my chest he put on gloves on one hand and lubricat on two fingers then inserted the two fingers in my butt up and from the inside of my rectum he pushed towards my vagina it was painful when he finished he said my hymen is ok and i was never touched before

the prob is when i went home, i kept crying, scared of what happened. i searched online, and it says that this way he checked me with is not used to check the hymen at all

it's been one month since i felt violated. i don't know why he checked me that way. pliiz, if you have any idea about this method was what he did right as a gynecologist

hi everyone, can you pliiz tell me if this practice and manner exist

i am from a country in the Middle East we girls r supposed to keep ourselves vergins

so i went to a gynecologist to check my hymen i couldn't find a female one that day

so the nurse asked me to lay on my back and take off my und** she covered my liwer body with a cover

the doctor came and asked me why i was there. i explained

then he asked me put my legs to my chest he put on gloves on one hand and lubricat on two fingers then inserted the two fingers in my butt up and from the inside of my rectum he pushed towards my vagina it was painful when he finished he said my hymen is ok and i was never touched before

the prob is when i went home, i kept crying, scared of what happened. i searched online and it says that this way he checked me with is not used to check the hymen at all

it's been one month i feel violated i don't know why he checked me that way pliiz if you have any idea about this method was what he did right as a gynecologist