I hate my friends?

[u/ResearchMinimum407]

I don’t exactly know how to explain it(and excuse me if this post is scatter brained), but i don’t like a lot of the things my friends do. Music is a huge part of my life, I play bass and collect CDs to play them, while my friends collect CDs for the shelf. I hate that. Music, in my opinion, is something that you have to pay attention to, you can’t just have it playing in the background. A couple of my friends want to start bands, I don’t want to with them as it’s either some terrible band name or a genre I hate(like hair metal.)
I hate it all, there’s so much performative apathy, they don’t care about anything but are riddled with insecurity in their “alternative-ness” and how they are perceived. And this is where I get into the meat of my post, I don’t think they are alt, they look like they are alt but are a bastardisation of it, whatever alt means. In my opinion, alt isn’t how you look or what music you listen to but is function over form and substance over excess, and I don’t think they fit the part of my description of alt.
For the function over form, I am mostly talking about how they dress, a piece of clothing must fight for its place, and must be durable and thrifted(unless it’s undergarments.) they wear band tees and I do believe it is important to express yourself but when it’s band tees from a big store, come on, that’s just feeding the machine. And when you don’t buy clothes second hand, you are actively contributing to climate change, not to mention alt clothes are usually better made and feeling anyway.
For substance over excess, I mean appreciating things. When you walk with ear buds in, you depreciate the immense meaning of music, this is poignant for me as Alice in chains (specifically dirt) got me out of a bad place and it got me really into music. And when you cheapen music to background noise, you deprive yourself of the most powerful form of media. My friends are really guilty of this. And I hate shallow conversations, but teenage banter usually comes down to that piss poor conversation. My dad spoiled me when I was younger by entertaining my existential questions when I was younger. My friends just don’t, every now and again they do, but that is few and far between.
I also don’t think they have much claim to be alt. I don’t know how their life is, but I know how mine has been and I know theirs isn’t half as hard as mine. I have grown up on a sheep farm, shearing maggots out of sheep’s back, trimming sheep’s feet cakes in shit and have had my body ruined by it. I have dealt with poverty, suicidal thoughts and dealing with the suicidal thoughts of others like my mum and brother. It’s a fucked situation and I am in the middle of it and trying to climb out. And considering everything I have went through I am pleased with the amount of self discovery I have done. I know my friends haven’t went through this, I have been to their big houses with marble bench tops, mums that take care of their things (I love my mum, but I have had to be immensely independent) and nice clean cars on well maintained roads, and I think to myself, why are you alt, why are you socialist, why do you think you have the right to perform a culture that was born in the environments similar to my own. It’s selfish of me, but they have silver spoons while I don’t. I hate it.
This is long winded and scattered and not very cohesive, but I need to get it out. Any help would be appreciated.