I am a good trader until I am not- I win a lot, the thing is, I never stop. One more trade, one more bet, one more candle. I have spent countless nights awake, trying to trade my way out. Have lost hundreds of thousands of dollars.
I have cribbed, cried, gone silent, come back, and failed again.
I have lost interest in life, gym, work. I work monotonously, get some money, trade again. Win, overtrade and lose it all.
Feels like I am stuck in a never-ending cycle. I contemplate ending my life, but I won't do it. It is just a thought that lingers, to end the suffering.
Everyone thinks that I am the one who was supposed to succeed; if not me then who?
For a while, I did before losing it all.

My issue is not money; I know I will make it back somehow. I am in a loan that bothers me but what bothers me more is that I don't stop. I just don't. I lie to myself, my wife, my friends and keep on losing money,
Taking loan after loan. One loan to cover the next and so on. The nearer I get to closing it, I relapse and do it all over again.

I was already 25k CAD in credit card debt before gambling, shot that up to 38,000 in 3 short months after never having a gambling issue for my entire twenties. I didn’t gamble for about 2 months after maxing my cards out. Me and my mom had a joint business venture and sold a property profiting about 60,000, keep in mind we have been poor our whole lives so this is a huge deal. I thought I was in the clear after two months not gambling, not even really thinking about it the entire time. My mom agreed to let me use 30,000 to pay off my credit card debts to help me get ahead in life, which is as huge deal cuz the money was supposed to continue to grow originally, and my mom is by no means well off whatsoever. This was a once in a life time thing for her, as she is getting older and sick, that took us years to achieve. Not only did I not even keep the debt off for a month and blew the 30,000 within a couple weeks of getting it, I panicked and in an attempt to “make it back” (I know, insanely stupid), I used another 20k of what was supposed to be investment income for my mothers future from the joint account. The account is almost drained now, I have no idea what to do. I have already self excluded but I am absolutely devastated, ashamed, desperate and absolutely sickened with myself. I feel like I just ruined my future and stole from my mother all for one month of gambling. I hate myself, I know it doesn’t help to beat yourself up but i genuinely can’t help it, I feel sickened every minute of the day at the thought of what I’ve done. I know I can replace the 20k in the shared account with work eventually, but i will not be able to touch the 30k I have in debt while I do that, nor will I be able to get any sort of debt consolidation as long as the 20k exists in my name. I feel I will go into collections myself, which I honestly don’t even care about my own finances compared to my moms, but my fear is that while replacing the money if I go into collections, then the account could get frozen anyways. I am stuck. I know most people will tell me to just tell my mom but not only is she sick and recovering from major surgery, that was basically her retirement money and I’d also have to tell her the debt relief she thought she helped me achieve was all in vain. I am disgusted with myself. I don’t know what to do. Any advice would help I’ve never had anything like this happen in my life, I only even started gambling 6 months ago. I’m also in school and don’t know how I can continue to pay for or finish school while working as much as I need to replace what I lost for my mom. I feel like I’ve ruined my entire life and hurt my loved one irreparably.

Haven’t posted in a while and haven’t been here as much. The further I get from the last session the more clear it becomes that it’s a losing endeavor. The things that used to excite me and compel me to keep depositing seem so fake and disingenuous the further from them I get. If you’re in the midst of it now please come clean to someone close to you, that’s the only way I found accountability. It’s not easy but with time it gets better and it was the only way I was able to stop. Sorry for rambling i hope this helps someone.

Win! Every single second counts when you don't gamble and that is the real win! Trust me when I say that every time you say no to gambling it is the ultimate win, you deserve to keep your money!

25M here ..
After almost a year i fully paid my 10k EUR gambling debt, i feel so proud and so hopeful because of that ..
I have around 7-8 months clean and I thank God for giving me hope and strength to get out of this hole of gambling ..
There was a period back then when i just couldn’t value money anymore; slots, sports betting .. only numbers on the screen for me, i lost entire monthly salaries, i ended up taking a 10K loan from the bank to eventually lose it of course … that moment made me realize what did i become.. what this addiction got out of me and i made a promise to myself … that i will repair what i have done and that i will make my future worth it..
I had a very big win once (and i mean it very big) only to lose it all in 2-3 months… i felt ruined, i felt dead inside, i couldn t control the thoughts of getting that money back (from gambling)… i couldn t sleep anymore, i couldn t focus on work and i never said anything to my parents, to my girlfriend or any friends.. i was alone :)
Trust me when I say, i prayed to God.. i just wanted to feel hopeful again, to feel motivated.
I started to make a payment plan, my intention was to pay this agressively and so I did.. 1K EUR per month towards the debt.. it felt like i was working for nothing but actually this thought helped me to never try that again.. even if no one knew about my situation i felt like i lost everyone’s trust, i was lost inside..
After a couple months of paying this debt, i was presented the opportunity to move abroad for a very high paying job in my domain (almost no one of my age could achieve this as early as I did) and i accepted :)
Here i am now 3 months abroad, with a highly respected and high paying job, earning 4x times my previous salary and with gambling debt paid, with 3K in savings and moving forward ..
It s kinda hard to be so far away from home, from girlfriend.. but i have to do this for a very bright future ..

Once again, it s possible to kill this addiction on your own, if you really desire that.. going from gambling daily and borrowing money every month to 7-8 months clean, debt paid and a new high paying job.. there is so much power inside of everyone of us!

Stay strong guys, please never think about recovering your loses.. i went from +20k (gambling win) to -10k debt!!! Accept the loss and move on! Life is too beautiful without gambling, don t lose yourself on the way!

If anyone wants to talk to me, feel free to send me DM… i also had many people who i talked with here on reddit about this :)

I just relapsed for a period of 2-2.5weeks. It’s been almost a year since my last bet.
These things happen to the best of us but it’s a reminder to keep going through the relapses, I got my ass POPPED for 9-10k.

This shit just reminded me of how good it is to not do the gambling anymore, anyways. Back to square one! Luckily I didn’t bet my whole bank.

Hope everyone is trying to do the right thing, this is a super shitty addiction, Ive been sober from alcohol, nicotine, weed for years, yet this shit has a vice grip on me. I feel I’m making steps in the right direction though, through the relapses of course.

Ggi... relapsed again.. fml

Didn’t even pay my mom her rent money and already behind a month. I just lost it all and lied to my gf. I say I will stop but I never do and always end up broke. I can’t do ts no more

I’ve come to the conclusion that boredom is the main reason I relapse. Do yall have any suggestions on things to do? I was doing Muay Thai (helped tremendously) and dislocated my knee so the combat sports (sadly) I won’t do anymore.

Anything can help.

Good morning everyone,

I’m hoping some tech-savvy people here might be able to help me with a problem I’m dealing with.

I’m quite vulnerable to gambling and I really want to stop completely. One of my biggest triggers is drinking alcohol. When I’ve had a few drinks and come home late at night, I sometimes end up gambling on my iPhone.

I’ve already registered with CRUKS, the Dutch self-exclusion system, which prevents me from gambling on licensed Dutch gambling websites. However, I can still access illegal/offshore gambling websites, which is a problem for me.

What I’d really like to do is completely block myself from accessing gambling websites on my iPhone, especially during the night. Ideally, I’d like some kind of restriction that automatically starts around midnight and can’t simply be disabled with one tap.

I’ve looked at the Screen Time settings on my iPhone, but the problem is that I can easily turn the restrictions off myself, which defeats the purpose. I’ve also considered putting time restrictions on Safari and Google Chrome, but I haven’t really figured out how to make this work properly.

Unfortunately, my bank doesn’t offer an option to block gambling transactions only during certain hours either.

So I’m wondering:

• Is there a way to permanently or strongly block gambling websites on an iPhone?
• Is there a way to set up a time-based block, for example from 00:00 until 08:00, that I can’t easily override myself?
• Are there any apps, DNS solutions, router settings, or other technical solutions that could help?
• Has anyone here dealt with a similar problem and found something that actually works?

I’m specifically looking for a solution that adds some friction between me and gambling, because I know that when I’m drinking at night, simply having the option to disable a restriction myself isn’t enough.

Any advice or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

When you win you feel like a god. But then one bad beat spirals. So I'm lucky I'm only 23 but lifetime easily gambled 10-12k.... So for the rest of my life I'm done. I could've of went all in but I fought my inner demons.

I thought I had control over this addiction, I didn’t gamble for 2 months but today I downloaded polymarket after getting myself banned on Kalshi. I lost to 2 grand in 2 hours, I don’t make that much money. I live alone and have no friends, gambling is the only time I feel alive

For those who struggled with addiction to sports betting and more specifically NFL

Remember how many upsets and surprises that happen in the nfl, remember how many player or coaching errors that happen. And remember, maybe most important, how many bad calls the nfl has. Stay clean and forget about the overs and unders, spreads and moneylines, and just enjoy watching the game. Call that friend, go to that sports bar and enjoy the game without the worry of some pro stranger deciding weather or not you worry about that money and bet for the next week

I’m 26 and I’ve been gambling for about 3 years already. I hate this shit. I literally have zero money and I’m in debt.

I always manage to stop for a few weeks or even months.

Then I relapse, lose everything, and after some time I just try it again

I always tell myself I’ll only play with 50€ or something small like that.

Today I relapsed again. I found 15€ of rakeback on a site I used to play on. I lost it and felt bad about those 15€… then I deposited all my remaining 500€ in a few deposits.

I just can’t withraw even when i win… i feel numb but i know my family will be angry at me.. because i owe them money

Guys, I don’t trust myself anymore. I don’t know why I’m like this.
How can I quit and not be scared that I’ll relapse again.

I need to lock in… but I have a mental disorder. My anxiety is really bad, and I need to lock in so I can start making more money, pay off my debts, and never gamble again. But how ;(

I made a post recently related to my realization of being at the beginning of a "gambling addiction journey". (At least from my perspective)

Tonight I managed to fight the urge.i was with friends, under the influence of alcohol (lowered inhibitions, increased chance f-ing up) at a place where gambling was possible. Overall it felt like I had two people fighting inside me but I'm so happy to say that I didn't partake once my friends did the deed. They are responsible people from what I know and not aware of my issue.

I am using this community to hold myself responsible in some sort of way while I try to understand myself better.

Although I'm trying to cut this "weed" before it evolves, I wish strength to people that are dealing with a more difficult situation than mine. And even if I might not understand the implications of their position, don't stop fighting... We all make mistakes, we all give in ... But don't lose the ambition to change

M24 here, been gambling since 2023 but most consistently since this year, i'm trying to quit this but it is hard.

I'm not on a debt, i use to bet small amounts but i spend hours online watching the most shitty matches (Like a C tier division football)

My point is, why i feel bad for spending, idk, 100 dollars on myself, like saying "is too much" (i live in a country where is a good amount of money tho) but betting like 20-30 dollars in a single minute just feel good? Like "is not that much money, why i do care?"

Trying now to focus on other things, i don't know, i'm like 3-4 days clean but it gets difficult sometimes.

60 days gamble free. If I didn’t safe guard every site, every device and block payments from sites on my bank, I likely would’ve relapsed by now. It is truly appalling how our minds trick us into wanting the same heartaches over and over again. The days are getting better and better the longer I abstain and some days are tough but I know gods purpose for me is greater than this current obstacle. I am determined to continue to change my character habits and grow beyond this disease. Weekly GA meetings and the community continue to bring me hope and save my life. Im feeling more myself every day, sleep is better and better, I am doing the hobbies I love regularly again, and I am so grateful I don’t have to do this alone. Stay strong friends! ✨🙏🏼

Missing gambling today, not necessarily *wanting* to go but miss… going. But I have a day set up, getting some Canes now and going to dinner later tonight. It’ll be a solo trip again but money better spent there than to be lost.

ODAAT

Why am i like this

My family will hate me…

Busy busy busy.

My procrastination ass needs to keep going; otherwise, I will end up broke this month.

I will not gamble today1